A Very Large Man

[lichenthroat]

A Very Large Man
Sparetooth

Don’t forget, I’m a very large man,
Even though I drive a little sedan.
I see you’ve claimed the small-town life:
The overalls and pocketknife,
The old red barns and pickup trucks,
Fishing for bass and hunting bucks,
Picnics on the Fourth of July,
The flags and fireworks in the sky.
I’m going to take all that from you.
Remember, I’m a large man, too.
America isn’t your property;
The red, white, and blue belong to me.

You can’t claim a monopoly
On everything that’s out of town.
You talk of how it used to be,
Before the world was breaking down.
You cling to the little you still own,
But to those who have, more will be given.
While Abraham’s children rise from stones,
You brag about when granddad was living.
I’m going to take all that from you.
Remember, I’m a large man, too.
America isn’t your property;
The red, white, and blue belong to me.

I’m going to fly the flag.
Where’s my cheeseburger,
But I won’t let you brag,
You won’t get away with murder.

I how desperate you are to claim
Barn dances and homecoming games,
But wheat that grows in rural fields
Will soon be reaped by those who kneeled.
We’ll take your tractor and your horse,
Not concede the gods of the Norse.
So you can’t have the prairie sod,
And can’t corrupt the words of God.
I’m going to take all that from you.
Remember, I’m a large man, too.
America isn’t your property;
The red, white, and blue belong to me.

[lichenthroat]

Dessert Tortoise
A Very Large Man

Robert Cornelius owned a shoe store,
But everybody called him Corny.
I’d been his customer since the age of four,
Like hundreds of others before me.
He was a very large man
With a large waistband.
It was around Halloween,
And I’d recently seen
Blow-up pumpkins at the five and dime.
I asked if he was inflated,
Because I didn’t quite know what it meant.
My dad was humiliated,
But Corny just chuckled in assent.
He was a very large man.

Every year, in the Christmas parade,
Corny dressed as Santa Claus.
He had Shetland ponies drawing his sleigh
Down the boulevard to happy applause.
He was a very large man
In a middle-sized town,
A successful businessman
Of local renown.
He was a pillar of the community.
When you talk to old folks
And mention Corny
His memory evokes
So many smiles and stories.
Yeah, he was a very large man.

[Toby Roktot]

A Very Large Man

Toby Roktot


Seemed nothing would go right for Mary Ann
She owed back rent and had a sore throat
She answered an add for instant cash
Just come to the address on the note

Arriving she was shown to a room
Told to leave her clothes there on the chair
Amid the lights and cameras she saw a big bed
And she said a silent prayer

“Lord I’ve put myself in it this time”
Looking for a way outta this situation
Head to the door to avoid a confrontation
A deep voice said, “It’s show time !”

Under a slow rotating fan…
He appeared
A Very Large Man

Just when you think it can’t get any worse
It does
And when you thought you had seen it all before
You hadn’t
And just when you’re about to give in
You won’t
And when everyone else just follows the crowd
You don’t

And when they tell you to shut up
You shout
And when you’re in a bad situation
Bust out
And when you have to stand and fight
You will
And if it comes down to my life or yours
You’ll kill

Mary Ann walked away smiling, wondering how
She was gonna pay the rent

[Paco Del Stinko]

A Very Large Man - Paco del Stinko

Six foot eight
Three seventy four
When he comes into the room
He fills up the door
Bald as an onion
Got a Jesus tattoo
With a fist like a ham
And a couple-a loose screws

Says he'll never leave (He'll never leave)
Says he don't belong (He don't belong here)
Got nothing up his sleeve

He's got a nothing up his sleeve

He says the astronauts
Control the weather
They got a space station up there
So they can do it better
In the factory
He made the dresses
Moved out of Whale Town
Too many stressors

Says he'll never leave (He'll never leave)
Says he don't belong (He don't belong here)
Got nothing up his sleeve

Will you bring my snack will you bring my snack
Will you bring my snack will you bring me my snack
(At eight o'clock) ((eight o'clock))

If you ain't white
You're not part of his plan
He's not too bright
He's a very large man

Says he'll never leave (He'll never leave)
Says he don't belong (He don't belong here)
Got nothing up his sleeve (Nothing up his sleeve)
And he ain't never wrong

He's a very large man

[MellyP]

A Very Large Man
The Mellfire Trifecta

He goes for a walk, it’s just sprinkling
Neighbors on the porch, he knows what they’re thinking
“John’s never satisfied
Can’t just be happy inside”

Out in the street, wearing a bowler
Dressed up nice, but no high roller
Black suit’s straining to hold
But he don’t want to be told

All is fine, stand aside
Nod and wave, run and hide

Folks stare a bit, then look off whistling
No one wants to talk, and no one’s listening
He’s just a very large man
Nobody could understand

Once in a dream he forgot what he looked like
Thought he was a bird, and then when he took flight
People saw beauty and grace
The smile wasn’t leaving his face

All is fine, stand aside
Nod and wave, run and hide

Losers live in the past
Winners know it’s a trap
Dress up nice and relax
Don’t believe the lies you tell yourself about you

He walks past a shop and looks in the window
He looks how he feels, no longer a zero
Someone flashes a smile
That will help for a while

Sun’s coming out, a neighbor is waving
“Looking sharp, John. The weather’s behaving.
Put that bowler away
You’re not going to need it today”

[Merle Fyshwick]

A Very Large Man - The Magnetic Letters

I want a very large man to hold me in his arms
I don't want him for smooching just to carry me around
Talking six metres minimum, he'll pick me off the ground
And on his shoulders we'll go strolling up the street and into town
And everyone will say: 'Hey, there goes Merle and his giant'
And you'll all want one too, but I got news for you
Get your own ideas don't copy mine

Me and my very large man down at the netball court
He'll hold me up so I can dunk and there's nothing you can do about it
We'll go to music festivals; we'll stand right up the front
The other people they might get pretty mad, but they're just jealous
And in time they'll say: 'Hey, there goes Merle and his giant'
And you'll all want one too, but I got news for you

I haven't figured all the details out yet
Like am I expected to house and keep him fed?
I haven't figured all the details out yet
Like does he have a giant car or does he just walk everywhere instead?

I've seen Luc Longley's motorbike
I've seen Luc Longley's motorbike
I've seen Luc Longley's motorbike
I've seen Luc Longley's motorbike
I've seen Luc Longley's motorbike
I've seen Luc Longley's motorbike
I've seen Luc Longley's motorbike
Multiply that by three and now you're talking
Appropriate wheels for me and my giant
And you'll all want a ride too
But I got news for you
Get your own ideas
Get your own ideas
Don't copy mine

[Geoff WreckdoM]

A Very Large Man
by WreckdoM

I'm a big man,
I'm a very large man
In my spaceship
Tearing through your sky
I'm a green man,
I'm a very mean man
People see me
They know they gonna die
I just came to say
Planet Earth gonna go away
We building a bypass
On the galactic highway
Don't give me guff
It's far too late for that
Don't Panic
It's done two minutes flat
You were given ample notice
Now today's the day
And if you're lucky
I'll read you some poetry
Who's glarp fills plargsblorg pill bargus?
Upon croops I spy nude Quakangus

[Gil Sans]

A Very Large Man (I can't see you past you)
J. Bennett

I can't see past you.
No, I can't see past you at all.

Nothing I can think or don't say
will ever get you to move.

There's a spot out front I see,
but the car will never never leave.

Oh, I don't fit in anywhere.
Sometimes just wanna disappear.
I can't get out,
I can't get in,
Oh, life's a real drag.

My drink is in a paper-bag.
I'm always swinging happy to sad.
Wah! Wah! Wah!
Just get outta my way

Cause I can't see past you.
No, I can't see past you at all.
Why? Why? Why?
Just get outta my way!

[Lunkhead]

“A Very Large Man"
Berkeley Social Scene

(Vague riffing on cults with some loose references to the Bhagwan cult in Oregon.)

Where the river flows
Through the valley of plenty
Follow the road that goes
To the village of the many
Clothed in the shades
Of the last light of the day
Tasting all the fruits
Of the golden harmony

Waiting for his call
To save us all

When a very large man walks
Into the room you know that soon
The merry and the merciful will
All join hands and stand as one
To walk into the sun

Leave your life behind
With its trail of broken promises
In their arms you’ll find a fount
To fill your emptiness
Paying for it all around
The world the tireless and chosen
Soon you will forget
Where they begin and you end

Waiting for his call
To save us all

When a very large man walks
Into the room you know that soon
The merry and the merciful will
All join hands and stand as one
To walk into the sun

(solo)

When a very large man walks
Into the room you know that soon
The merry and the merciful will
All join hands and stand as one
To walk into the sun

When a very large man walks
Into the room you know that soon
The merry and the merciful will
All join hands and stand as one
To walk into the sun