Musician jokes

[Lunkhead]

I think somehow we haven't had a thread for this before? I just found a wiki page at work with a bunch of jokes. There were actually some I hadn't heard before which I liked.

Q: What do you throw a drowning bassist?
A: Their amp

Q: What's the difference between a large cheese pizza and a drummer?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four

Q: What's the best pickup to put on a banjo?
A: Ford F150

Q: Why are there no banjos in Star Trek?
A: It's the future

[fluffy]

My favorite one (partly because I came up with it myself):

Three musicians and a bass player walk into a bar.

[jb]

Q: What's the difference between a large cheese pizza and a drummer?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four

Depends how you cook the drummer

[fluffy]

How do you know there's a drummer at your front door?
The knocking gets faster and he doesn't know when to come in.

How do you get the drummer off your doorstep?
You pay him for the pizza.

[Pigfarmer Jr]

How can you tell if the stage is level at a bluegrass concert?
There's drool coming out of BOTH sides of the banjo picker's mouth.

[Jerkatorium]

Here's an old string with some jokes: viewtopic.php?f=1&t=8967

Also:

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

Six; one to change the bulb, and five to sit around saying, "Pfft. I could do that."

[jimtyrrell]

A drummer walks up to the counter at a music store and says, “I’m tired of not being respected as a musician! Time to learn a new instrument. I’ll take the trombone on the wall, and the accordion in the corner.”

The man behind the counter says, “Well, I’ll sell you the fire extinguisher if you really want it, but the radiator has to stay here.”

[fluffy]

The conductor of a symphony decided to take a sabbatical, and had to find a replacement for the season. Knowing that the first-chair viola player had some conducting experience, he asked said violist to step in and give it a try. The violist was a little timid about this, but he took the job.

The next season was a rousing success; every performance garnered rave reviews, and people were excited about this new, fresh energy that had come to the table.

However, all good things must come to an end, and the conductor came back. But the violist was happy to return to his previous role, having had a year to try something different.

So on the first rehearsal of the next season, he sat down in his chair and pulled out his viola, and said “Hello again!” to the second viola.

“Oh, hi,” said the second viola. “Where have you been this last year?!”