SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

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SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by BoffoYux »

ST23 Round 1 Challenge

Congratulations to everyone who has signed up for SpinTunes 23! I can't wait to hear your brand-new songs. You all know that this is a songwriting and recording contest, right? As in, you're here to write and record new songs. I just want to make sure we're all on the same page, and there's no confusion about what we're doing. Because, well... read on for your Round 1 challenge:

Wait, What?: Write and record a song about a misunderstanding or miscommunication.

Examples:
"Ballad of a Thin Man" by Bob Dylan
"How Beautiful You Are..." by the Cure
"I Didn't Understand" by Elliott Smith
"Maple Leaves" by Jens Lekman
"You Wanted a Hit" by LCD Soundsystem
"Broke in Two" by They Might Be Giants
"Pink Triangle" by Weezer
"Bad Connection" by Yazoo

Submitting Entries:
Your entry must be received by Sunday, September 1, 2024 @ 11:59 PM EDT. Otherwise it'll be posted as a shadow. Received means that it has to appear in my e-mail inbox (spintunescontest@gmail.com) by the given deadline. I will be going by the time stamp on the e-mail. One minute late is too late.
You are allowed and encouraged to submit a draft of your song early just in case something horrible happens and you miss the deadline. Then you can add polish to your song and send in a better version closer to the deadline. The last version received prior to the deadline is your official entry.
Lyrics are mandatory. No instrumentals. Having no lyrics will get you disqualified.

SUBMITTING BY EMAIL: Send your file in a format that BandCamp accepts. (.wav or .flac) (at least 16-bit/44.1kHz) Do not send MP3s.
Name your file the song's title + your band name, without punctuation.
The subject line of the e-mail should identify the challenge and your band's name. Something like this would be fine: "ST23R1 - All the Robots".
Include the song lyrics in the body of the e-mail.
Include information on anyone that needs credited if you collaborated with someone.

ALTERNATE FILE SHARING OPTIONS: If your file is too big for an email attachment, you may email me a link to where I can download the song. The email still needs to land in my inbox by the deadline.
If you have a Bandcamp account you can just send me a link to your song if you include all the info I mentioned for emails. Info such as lyrics and song credits can be included in the email or on the song's Bandcamp page. Make sure you have it set as a free download, and have it set so that I don't have to put in an e-mail to download it if you pick this option.
You may also use a file sharing service such as DropBox, WeTransfer, Google Drive, etc. Include in the email any required information (such as lyrics) that you couldn't include in the file. Make sure I have permission to download the file, and please follow directions so your file doesn't wind up in my spam or trash folder accidentally.

SONG BIOS: In addition to lyrics and any necessary credits, you are welcome to include a "song bio", with any information you feel is useful. This could include your inspiration for the song, citations for any obscure references within the lyrics, an explanation of how your song met the challenge, etc. Some challenges may require you to supply certain info in your song bio. Since the judges are volunteers with lives outside of SpinTunes, song bios can help them zero in on aspects of the song you feel are important. However, if your song requires a multi-paragraph explanation in order to understand and appreciate it, this is probably a sign that it doesn't stand up well on its own, and its ranking may reflect that.

Side Notes:
You can send in an entry to SpinTunes 23 without competing. Just tell me it's a "Shadow Song". It will be played at the listening party, but won't be ranked and you might not receive feedback from the judges. Check the FAQ if you don't know what that means. You can even complete past challenges from previous contests. It's a nice way of playing along if you can't commit to the schedule or you just want to get your feet wet.
The only other way to get your music played at the listening party is to cover "Today's The Day" by Inverse T. Clown or "Right Again" by Mandibles.

https://spintunescontest.blogspot.com/2 ... lenge.html
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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by BoffoYux »

The LP is up on Bandcamp for Round 1.

33 official entries and 1 shadow.

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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by BoffoYux »

Video for
▷ - Distance - I Had A Friend Once Their Name Was 夢Мечта


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WV0fUA-h-14
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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by glennny »

Wait, What? ST23r1
Good job folks! Here are some thoughts. These are arranged in alphabetical order so you may find yours first, and then find any other song you might be interested in how it hit me. I also enjoy having “Just the Start” at the end. BTW why wasn’t “Misunderstanding” by Genesis an example? Too on the nose? I personally had a hard time getting that song out of my head when trying to write.

|>_ I Had a Friend Once Their Name Was Meyta
I’m sorry I don’t know how to type the name. The music is very interesting. The timbre of your voice reminds me of Brian Eno. Especially one his more angular tunes like Driving Me Backwards. The scooping vocal melodies I do not enjoy. I wish they were more decisive with the pitches. I find this enjoyable, but I think the vocals need another take. Very inventive!

Also in Blue_ A Mile and a Half
This is fantastic. Very impressive. Everyone at the listening party I believe agreed this is the clear winner. I’m amazed you can be this verbose and still hold my attention. I say that whilst wearing a Bob Dylan T-Shirt. I’d never write this many lyrics for a song, but I don’t have your voice. Your voice is sooo good! That riff reminds me of Suicide is Painless: the minor chord pull-off to the sus2. I do miss drums, the piano and guitar are working so hard to be percussive, but it just makes me wonder why not have drums. I would have large sections with no drums, the dynamics are great, but they could be greater.
A+, I predict this will win. Awesome!

Berkeley Social Scene_ Just a Theory
I’m the arpeggiated (left) guitar, the guitar solo, and bridge vocals. Martin is on lead vocals and bass. Geech on drums. Ken on (right) guitar. The lyrics were Geech and Martin. I mixed it. I tuned the vocals. If you want to hear the vocals without tuning, the Song Fight version was due sooner, so I didn’t get a chance to tune vocals. Live solo! Only vocals are overdubbed. It’s so nice to have a live drummer and a live band and be loud in a studio. I hope you enjoy!

Boffo Yux Dudes_ Kiss My Wife Goodbye
Nice prominent drums! I think the verses are twice as long as they should be. I suppose you need to tell the story with that many stanzas, but I think it would pack more of a punch with some economy. I don’t think there’s enough dynamics between verse and chorus. That said, it’s a nice enough listen. The synths sound good. Vocals are nice.

C-00000291*_ Keeping You Safe
This is charming in its quirkiness. I love the Hey! shouts. This ends sooner than I feel it should. It’s a great dynamic listen. I dig it!

cardamom seed_ You Got this Wrong
Dutch Widows vocals for sure. Why the alternate name? Is this a collaboration? Or is this solo and DW was a collaboration? This leans a little more New Wave than DW. It still has the high DW quality. I’m really enjoying the mix. Sometimes the vocals get a little mumbly, but they always sound nice when I can hear them. I’m not sure about the false ending. It’s pretty, but I think probably stronger without it. Anyway, good stuff!

Cavedwellers_ 2CU
Truth did the heavy lifting on this one. His lyrics and melody and great finger picking. I wrote the bridge music and my bridge melody pitch worked out too. I’m mostly the producer on this one. Ah, I did the guitar solo too. I’m a fan of this song.

Celestial Drift_ Have You Gone Mental?
I like this a lot! Great playing! Killer riffs! Very good melodies! Is the accent authentic? It sounds a lot like Bob Dylan trying to drawl like Woody Guthrie, or Bruce Springsteen trying to drawl like Bob Dylan trying to drawl like Woody Guthrie. Great lyrics too! This is top shelf! Good job!

chewmeupspitmeout_ Smoke Filled Room
This is very interesting. It’s quite a journey of different vibes. It gives it a stage musical vibe. You’re a good vocalist. I think perhaps sometimes you’re overswinging. I can imagine the first verse more like Roger Waters would deliver it. Then the long notes would be that much more powerful in the choruses. Quiet “loud” distorted guitars are strange to me. With the menacing tone, I expect a louder presence, it sounds like the guy next door is playing guitar. This is a cool song. I really enjoy the chord changes. Quite a fun listen!

Definitely Not Secretly Glennny_ Definitely Not Secretly Glennny
DNSG playing DNSG is among the all-time great eponymous songs like Big Country doing Big Country, or Iron Maiden doing Iron Maiden. Objectively, this is the greatest song ever. I’m loving all the guitar lines! Vocals and lyrics are excellent and hilarious! When I was in 5th grade my teacher Mr. Campbell stopped class and said “Class music has been perfected, you must hear the greatest song of all time!”, he then proceeded to play us Sirius/ Eye in the Sky by the Alan Parsons Project. I’ve heard a lot of great music since then. I’ve explored many genres, I’ve heard the best from many geniuses, I’ve tried writing my own songs, collaborating with dozens, chasing the dragon of Sirius/ Eye in the Sky for 41 years. Last night, I did a literal Wait! What? Just like the prompt wanted me to. I glanced the lyrics a few seconds before the song kicked in. Finally, Sirius/ Eye in the Sky has been dethroned. Music has grown and been improved. There is a new perfection. It is DNSG doing DNSG! You guys rule! And I know you do!

Falcon Artist_ The Proposal
Guy and guitar is really tough for me to listen to, especially when it’s just strumming. Your vocals are really nice! The melody isn’t particularly catchy. There’s not much dynamics in this. Is the guitar tuned? It’s not terrible, but sounds a little off to me. Perhaps it’s the intonation. The miscommunication seems to have little to no consequence.

glennny_ Corvette Seasick
I’m wondering if I should have made the intro longer. This poor imitation of DNSG. Here was my Song Bio: My son is 17 and wants his own car. In particular, he wants a Corvette C6. C6 sounds like “Seasick”. So whenever he says C6, I troll him and act like it’s the worst name for a car ever. I suggest cars like the Honda Vertigo or the Ford Nausea. He thinks it’s one of the worst dad jokes of all my dad jokes. It’s pretty cheap, but it makes me laugh.

Governing Dynamics_ Last Light of Wednesday
Excellent moody intro. Really enjoying the production! Ack! What is that click at 0:50 ? Man, all the instruments sound soooo good! This is in the top shelf of the fight. The harmonica has a nice mood, but you’re not really doing a melody with it. Awesome dynamics! Bravo! Great song!

James Young_ Dignified
Hmmm, lyrics aren’t linked on the Bandcamp page. I remember reading them during the listening party. I know they’re somewhere. I think the tempo is too slow. Maybe not. I think I want this to be Modern Day Cowboy by Tesla. So I wish there were more guitar licks between vocal lines. Dynamics is great! I think the vocals are good but too loud in the mix. It makes the rock power underwhelm a bit. This feels like Tesla or Queensryche band wise. I’m not sure about the telephone chorus breakdown. I think this a little sleepier than it should be. Pretty cool though! Great vocal performance!

Menage a Tune_ Miss Communication
I do love the lyrical gag. Nice vocals! The guitar is nicely tuned, the performance is a little shaky. Nice length, doesn’t overstay its welcome.

My Broken Demo Tape_ It Gets Worse with Age
Very pretty playing! Lovely atmosphere! Nice reverb choice! What was the misunderstanding? Pretty vocals too!

Night Sky_ Bummer Lamb
Bossa nova is nice. Tempo feels a bit slow. Everything is a bit samey. Good story. Good challenge take. There’s something about the presentation that makes it feel like a novelty song. Ah, sweet sax solo! I think I wish there was more sax throughout. Pleasant enough listen!

Ominous Ride_ Telephone
You mentioned Solsbury Hill, but you meant Games without Frontiers. AI is amazing. I want to know more about the whole process. You admit the Christian Rock feel of this. I agree. I’m glad you were able to submit something.

OutLyer_ Missed Calls
This is quite professional sounding. Not my genre. This fits on the radio, on a pop modern R&B station. High Quality. Too short. I like the backing vocals, but maybe not all of the time. It could stand to breathe a bit more. I’d make the song longer with some parts with just the backing vox, another part with just the lead vox, and another part with both.

Profestriga_ Carving Nature at Its Joints
Really really really not my genre. I want cookie! Cookie Monster vocals always make me laugh. The juxtaposition of the boppy bouncy happy synth music with the metal screamo death rap vocals is strange. I love System of a Down, there’s plenty of SOAD that swims near these vocals, but their music matches the danger and menace.

See-Man-Ski_ Did You Mean It?
Pop pop popcorn brain is still fresh. Your vocals are just awesome! I love your dynamics in delivery. The band sounds great! The mix is awesome! No complaints. I love it! Great job!

Sharquin_ Can You Believe?
You really need more chords. The main riff gets a bit tedious. The mix is nice. The lead vocals are great!
I think the lyrics are weak. It makes me cringe to hear you sing “ it’s a miscommunication” in a challenge about a misunderstanding or miscommunication. To be fair I give the same criticism to Genesis.

Siebass_ The Idea of You
This is very pretty! The harmonies are gorgeous! Some fretless bass would be really sweet on this. I think drums kicking in would improve it as well. The vocals are fantastic! It just feels incomplete to me without the rhythm section. Like it’s an excellent demo. You’ll be fine. As GnGs go this is awesome.

Sober_ All Bottled Up
Genre bias. This is total country. I just don’t like the genre. That said, A+ on recording and playing and singing and harmonizing. I’m curious how country the judges are. This is some legit awesome playing.

Spintown & Company_ Department of Miscommunication
A little too much pop in the power pop for me. I do not like the lyrics. The performance and the mix is good.

Stacking Theory_The Start of the Last Division
Lots of ST goodness in this one. The vocals are the star. I really dig the Rhodes too. Mellow music and passionate vocals, exactly what I want in a Stacking Theory track. Good stuff!

The Allieviators_ If Only
GD mix was awesome, so I expect this to be as good. It is. Oh man, I love Bekas vocals! Ummmm, there’s some really strange note choices going on in the BOTH section. I hate to say it, but I don’t think it works. Individually you both sound great, but those harmonies are not working for me. I don’t have my guitar with me (I think with my guitar), I’ll get back to you with which notes are bugging me. You should be fine, and I totally believe it might be just me not you guys.

The Moon Bureau_ Girl with the Eyeliner
This is one of my favorites! This could be a Foxygen song. This is great! I particularly love the mix! The drums and the 60’s bass are perfect! Vocals are wonderful! Jangly guitars are wonderful! This is a keeper! I love it! Excellent!

The Pannacotta Army_ Amy
So good! Everything sounds great! No complaints. Top shelf! Everything works! It’s catchy! Great performance! Awesome vocals! Great tasty solo too! Love it!

Thorsten Nesch_ Roadie
The vocals are okay, the out of tune guitar is hard to take for 3 minutes. The story is good. The lyrics work, I just think the presentation needs a lot more polish.

West of Vine_ Vespers
This is beyond a GnG. If it were just a GnG, I have to really compliment you on the guitar playing. It’s very percussive and the strum pattern is very interesting. With this little of instrumentation, the length is perfect. You pack a lot of punch in less than 2 minutes! This is great! This could be an album opener or closer, something like Pigs on the Wing. Great lyrics, great playing! Good job! Killer glock!

With Joe_ Just the Start
Nitpick: I hate it when a song starts at the very beginning moment. I like to hear a breath, an attack, just a little bit. Amazing vocals! What range! The ending bugs me the same way the beginning does. This is too short. Wildly impressed with the vocal performance. Cool!
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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by Spintown »

glennny wrote:
Tue Sep 03, 2024 6:31 pm
Spintown & Company_ Department of Miscommunication
A little too much pop in the power pop for me. I do not like the lyrics. The performance and the mix is good.
Thanks for the review. Honestly I dislike these lyrics more than most I did for Nur Ein even. But it's an attempt to summarize a 4 hour let's play of a puzzle map based on communication. Here's the video for it, the video description has links to the original Let's play the song is about.

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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by Siebass »

Some partial reviews from your friendly neighborhood Siebass here. Posting now to keep me motivated to get through the rest. I got this first set hashed out on the flight to Detroit, so hoping to do more/the rest on my flight back to DC tomorrow; we'll see how many more I get through.




Spin town

Upbeat happy punk here. Fun music and solid vocal. The vocal actually sounds a little thin to my ear in the verses, maybe a touch of eq? When I read the lyrics here I had/have a hard time following. I know you're doing your own thing for the vids, so I won't belabor it here again, but I'd just say for me I prefer when a song can stand alone without the backing data. Overall very solid entry this round.

James Young

Weird phaser or flanger on the main vocal is pretty disorienting to have the panning moving from side to side doesn't work for me and throws me off a bit. The line feels like what the song was built around, am I dead to you or just dead inside, great line. The structure built up and around it though, to my mind, lacks a bit of cohesion and veers into cliches a bit much for my tastes. Solid guitar work, great grit on the vocals, the gritty vocal was probably my favorite part.

With Joe

This feels like an Ed Sheeran b side, in a good way. Very popular sensibilities in the production, super clean and nice vocals, building up to the snaps, delivery solid, solid build up. Lyrically is probably the only place I'd have constructives on, just feels like a lot of cliches and fairly trodden ground. Super polished, really good song.

Sharquin

Some tongue in cheek humor here, which I enjoy. Contrast between the verse and prechorus is nice dynamically, light and heavy works well. Solid chuckle worthy song here, I dug it.

DNSG

Fun song here for a band clearly protesting too much. Maybe every human at one point is secretly Glennny. Really nice guitar work, vocal has a bit much vibrato in a few places, but mostly solid. Real commitment to the joke and band name too, so props for that. For constructives, I'd say some of the asides are a hair too quiet in the mix to my ear; I can hear them okay on headphones, but they vanish in the car, something to consider at least. Solid song.

Night sky

Great horns, really nice chill bossa beat and melody. Killer sax of course. I also really enjoyed the story here. The constructives I'd have here are that the vocals are pitchy enough to be distracting, and IMHO the vocal delivery to me is not very emotive, but rather very matter-of-fact. Bittersweet funny story about a confused lamb.

Ominous Ride

I'll start with I think AI, like many things, is a tool. A hammer can be used to build a house, or to hit someone on the head. The tool itself isn't inherently a problem, mainly just how it's used. It sounds like you used it this time to bring your song to life when you otherwise would not have been able to, which I personally think is just fine. YMMV.

For the song, the lyrics and premise don't exactly land for me. It's a lot of names, and folks playing telephone, but I feel no connection to the story or people. I don't know why any of what is said is important or relevant. The music is catchy and cleanly produced, but lyrically for me unfortunately this is a miss. I personally would really have liked more context or hand holding on the emotional core of the song or the story here, but that could be just me.

Cardamom seed

Almost certain this is Dutch. Really nice bop on the electronic drums. A little hard to understand the vocal to my ear. could be too much low end in the vocal, less noticeable on the chorus compared to the verse, until the low harmony line comes in, and it it particularly tough to grok. Volume automation might help? Might also be due to some mumbling? There are spots where the vocal sounds masked to my ear. Drums and bass well balanced, and I can hear all of that, and I enjoy the vocal melody. Gonna have to check the lyric sheet for this. My quibbles are minor, this had me moving for a bop, and that's a win in my book. Realized late that lyrics are embedded, had no idea this song was about blame and improper driving directions!

/\

Cool beats here, nice asides, loads of glissando. Daw still in 5/4 by default? Nice harmonies here. My one big constructive is on the vocals. Some of the harmonies don't quite sound lined up to me on pitch, and to my ear sounds like a fair but of muddy buildup in the vocal around 250 300 Hz that I think would sound better after some more eq. Potentially less gliding into and out of notes might also sound nice, instead of always gliding, so that the gliding notes stand out more when they do occur. Creative as always.

Menage

Fun joke here, one joke and commitment to it I think works better than many jokes or a potential lack of focus. I considered this idea as well (taking everything literally) so I'm happy to hear this here. If I end up having more time than I should, I can hear a rock cover of this one. Nice arc of the story here too, with some fun and clever lyrics. I doubt you want production notes, so the only note I'll give is that the master is a bit quiet, especially when listening to all of the songs on the ST album. Nice one!

Sober

You got your lane and I hear you in it. Some nice turns of phrase here. The slow build is really nice, along with the vocal going down on the 'down' lyrics. Subject was an engaging one. Fun pedal steel, sounds like you are having fun with it. Without the lyric sheet, there's a nice ambiguity to 'drinking, to much I confess' vs 'drinking too much, I confess'. I'm gonna guess the second is right based on how the rest of the song goes. Nice solo, there's one high bend that I feel might be out of place, but I can't tell for sure. Solid entry.

Governing Dynamics

Great acoustic open and build, time for the GD 6/8 song early this time. Taking time on the build is a choice I like. Friday I'm in love. Some killer lines in here, you're a few bad breaks from being me, I'm a miracle or two from you especially. I already mentioned the harmonica and how I liked that. Really solid song, solid lyrics and music.

Profestriga

Starts out with a big dirty beat and some confident rap. A bit odd landing the word natural as a two syllable word instead of the normal three. The growly death vocal style fits just fine for the song, not my personal cup or tea though and it is a bit difficult to understand the words. I can tell there was an f bomb or two, so I won't be playing for the kiddos. I think the spoken rap parts are very strong, the screaming parts less so. In terms of constructive, for rap or spoken vocals, it sounds a bit awkward if the meter isn't quite right, and a few lines here and there in the song land a bit awkwardly, so perhaps to my ear could potentially have benefitted from a bit more time on the editing table for the flow or a few more takes to land it on the vocal. Lyrically hard to catch without the sheet, but was a heady topic if I remember correctly. Solid song.

Flint steel

Tiny electronic Glock? Nice melody here, I'm also digging the guitarmonies to open the track. Lyrically, a bit of easy rhymes and cliches here IMHO, and that might be something to think about in terms of constructives. I think the chorus is great, I particularly like the low harmony in the right channel in the chorus. Also great as is the guitar and vocal work for sure. I know you're capable of some pretty cool story and world building lyrics, these ones in particular just didn't land with me I think for an otherwise very solid song. I want to go back to throwing my laptop in the ocean and sailing the seas with you! Also, what do you think your word cloud usage is on the word "glory?". I bet it is high.

Celestial Drift

One of my favs of the round, full low end on the strings and the opposing lines are great, lyrically dark and story song, very strong imagery. Prechorus brings surprise and suspense with the repeated line. For constructives, all I'd say is it sounds like something is off in the chorus vocal harmonies to my ear, but that's all I got, I really enjoyed this. Excellent choice on progression too. That your slide or Sober pedal steel?

Alleviators


Lovely emotive vocals here, classic Alleviators here. Not much for constructives here either, but I'd say something sounds off in the dual harmonies, but I'm not sure by my ear if it's the male or the female vocal that is off; at gunpoint I'd say it sounds like Beka to me, but that's the biggest thing that distracted me and detracted from this otherwise strong song. So you jump first was the standout line for me. I guess one other is that the progression stays kind of samey throughout the whole thing, and perhaps could have done with a bit more variation or dynamic shifts. This round I'd put GD above the Alleviators per my tastes, but this is also a strong song.


Boffo Yux

Lyrically this is a cool story, ominous ness of impending war and death. The vocal treatment sounds like it may also have flanger or phaser on it, something that isn't to my personal taste. Also something seems off with the Tambo when it first comes in timing wise. Also tambo is a bit hot in the mix. With great Tambo, comes great responsibility (TM). It cleans up later in the song but still a little relatively loud. I thought the lyrics were the strongest part of this, and the progression works to map to the threat of impending war and death.


J.enby Drake

Fun little aside. Today I learned we have the same first name.
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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by Chumpy »

The Jerks are back with more ill-informed opinions on your songs!

Here are the particulars: INDEX
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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by Siebass »

Thanks for the reviews, jerks. Count me in the total of 6 listeners.
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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by gizo »

Chumpy wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2024 6:52 pm
The Jerks are back with more ill-informed opinions on your songs!
In general - thank you for the tremendous effort to listen, review, and speak about all these songs, what a pair of legends!

In particular - yeah, I'm both Stacking Theory and C-000 blah blah blah. Fair comments all around (apart from maybe the bit about confidence).

FWIW re: the Stacking Theory song - apart from having a midlife crisis, I'm watching a few friends go through awful separations at the moment, and this song is just riffing on the emotional train wreck of long term relationships (and the people within them) falling apart, piece by piece. Or something like that. Definitely more feeling than narrative.

Re: CrowdStrike / you say 'propaganda', my wife calls it 'the creepy song'.

Again - thank you, wonderful humans.
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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by Spintown »

Siebass wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2024 5:37 pm
Spin town
Upbeat happy punk here. Fun music and solid vocal. The vocal actually sounds a little thin to my ear in the verses, maybe a touch of eq? When I read the lyrics here I had/have a hard time following. I know you're doing your own thing for the vids, so I won't belabor it here again, but I'd just say for me I prefer when a song can stand alone without the backing data. Overall very solid entry this round.
You know the deal from Nur Ein, and yeah I expected 0 people to understand these lyrics. Thanks for the review & listen though.
Chumpy wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2024 6:52 pm
[*]01:10:50 - SpinTown & Company
Chumpy: I didn't expect anyone to watch that 4 hour video, and I figured there would be consequences from doing a song like that. I'm basically doing the same thing I did in Nur Ein. I'm using the prompts to create Minecraft songs for my YouTube channel. It's not always easy to connect each challenge to Minecraft, so if the idea I get is something I know the judges won't understand...I just go with it anyways. I'll be here to shadow the entire contest either way. ;p With this one, I knew there would only be 240,000 people on the planet who would get the lyrics (the number of people who watched the video) and that was my target audience. My plan was to post the song in the subreddit for that creator, and maybe get featured on his subreddit live stream he does once a month. (plan worked) All the negatives are completely justified on your end though, and all the positives about Joe's music & vocals were also justified. Hopefully I'll get an idea I can connect to Minecraft in a future round that is still more accessible to the average listener. Either way, I'm not a very good lyricist, so hiding behind a 4 hour video for context might be a good thing for me. lol

Ryan: The chorus was short because I was trying to shorten what I thought would be a long song by the time Joe put all those lyrics to music. My goal was to reference each of the 7 puzzles the group had to complete, as well as the 7 games they played while doing this 4 hour long let's play. I needed all those verses to get those references in, so the only other way to shorten the song was to try to make the chorus shorter. At least that was the only thing I could come up with. I only give myself 1-2 days to finish the lyrics, that way Joe has more time to spend on recording. Glad you got some enjoyment out of the song even if you didn't understand it.

Both: Thank you for the reviews. I was pumped when I heard the podcast was back for this SpinTunes. If you get guests this time around you should try to get Sammy Kablam. A 2 Jerks & Negative Reinforcement crossover would be better than a new Avengers movie.
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sleepysilverdoor
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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by sleepysilverdoor »

Spintown -- kind of surprised that I wasn't familiar with that one. My son watches Minecraft stuff all the time. Or at least he did there for a few years. Now he's been on Fortnite for several fortnites.
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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by Spintown »

sleepysilverdoor wrote:
Tue Sep 10, 2024 7:46 am
Spintown -- kind of surprised that I wasn't familiar with that one. My son watches Minecraft stuff all the time. Or at least he did there for a few years. Now he's been on Fortnite for several fortnites.
There are 1000's of Minecraft creators out there though, it's not surprising to me you wouldn't have seen it. It's not even a newer video, it's from like 2 years ago. Here's part 1 of the video if you or your son are interested.

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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by Siebass »

Surprising how much listening you can get done with 5 extra hours in the Detroit airport.

Forgot my disclaimer on the first half of these reviews, so here it is now.

I'm just some dude on the internet with my own opinions, so take everything I say with a few pounds of salt, or for those in Australia, a few kilos of Milo. I try to be kind in my reviews, but sometimes I fail, or don't properly express things in the best way. I believe constructive criticism on music is so hard to find, and so valuable, and hard to give in a way that might not feel bad. I want you to know that even if I failed, I INTENDED to be kind, yet helpful.

On to the rest of my terrible opinions now:

[SHADOW] Joshua Enb. Drake

Oh, I forgot to write my review for this song, ugh, I hate writing reviews, nooooo, I don't wanna I don't wa

Falcon Artist

The recording sounds a lot better for this song; cleaner guitar and separation for the vocal. Still a bit of leaning for the easy rhymes; the clearest example is when you throw in a "you see" in order to rhyme with me/be/etc, but the "you see" isn't necessary for the line/lyric/song, only there to facilitate the rhyme. IMHO it might be better to try to rework the line or search for another rhyme. Dynamically it's fairly even throughout, but there are some interesting chord changes and progression, I thought this was a solid entry, glad to see you back, Falcon!

TMB

Another bop from the Moon Bureau. Glad I can just enjoy the music and not dig deep for judging this contest. I find myself smiling and bopping along with this groove. I thought this was great, I haven't looked up all the references, but the ones I got I enjoyed. I find myself coming back to this one. Play this song just one more time? I wish you would~

Thorsten Nesch

This song was a nice changeup; not much else tonally in this space; electric sort of out of tune guitar, hand percussion, gives a bit of a slightly drunk off kilter vibe to this jam which I think works with the subject of having a bunch of beers with the Roadie/Bandmember. This feels like a slow walking song. Lyrically I enjoy it like a comfortable pair of beat up shoes. I get a bit confused though by the joke, as the singer "I was too early at the club for a concert of a band I didn't know" would not quite work if the singer was IN the band....right? This confused me a bit, so maybe I missed something.

Definitely Not Secretly Not Berkeley Social Scene

Well performed, the vocal melody doesn't really grab me during the verses or the prechorus, but I dig the chorus and delivery; very hooky chorus. Guitars create nice space and dynamics between the heavy delay one and the light cleaner left channel. Is this song really about Gravity? It seems to be; it's a bit hard for me to connect lyrically to this song, at least to me it uses a lot of words but doesn't have a lot to say, but I like the music a lot; did a good job of capturing the spacey vibes with the instrumentation. Very solid song, as I've said about many this round.

ChewmeupSpitmeout

I finally placed what your vocals remind me of; Arctic Monkeys in a good way. Ominous drums, I enjoyed the progression in this, and the more muted distorted guitars. Particularly when the drum machine kicks in and the groove gets going. Real authority in the vocal, fast delivery of a number of lyrics. I think the vocal was actually my favorite part of this song. The bridge part stays a bit long for my tastes with the noisy guitars on the I think it's time I went home part; a bit jarring in the high frequencies to my ear, possibly could be half as long with the same impact. I dug the outro as well. Lyrically about inability to stop word-vomit from happening, overstaying one's night at the bar. getting misunderstood, clocked, and thrown out of the bar. Very solid song, I loved the vocal delivery.

Definitely Not Secretly Not Gizo

I read this song as a song performed by a computer antivirus or firewall, constantly updating, constantly keeping you safe. Bitcrushed bleeps and bloops lend themselves well to this theme too; building a wall for a good cause; keep out the viruses and malware. There is one "mean" much louder than the rest, not sure if that was on purpose. Messed up virus definitions, spam/viruses getting through. Such an ominous and angry sounding firewall! I enjoyed this, but I work in IT so I'm biased.

OutLyer

This is super modern, super clean, incredibly produced, like pop music on the radio, the female vocal as texture, the 808(?) bass moving around in pitch for both percussion and holding down the bass line is really nice. Killer lead vocal; super mid-focused middle section works well. Lyrically simple, but feels honest and cutting to the emotional core, screw all this latency, and waiting and waiting for a change. This song is tops.

Stacking Theory

Awash in vibe, I float along in the texture that is sad beach music living deep within Gizo's heart. The Jackson Pollock of emotional arrangement. Nice choices here on the distorted guitar, soft electric piano, washy guitar delay textures. This is a vibe. Reaching out, touching me, TOUCHING YOUUUUUUU! Lyrically it's a bit of a pastiche of feelings and words that evoke emotions, but I have trouble scruting (is that a word?) what is going on. I read the bio later, and it makes sense, but it's tough to get that from just the lyrics alone. That said, as with most songs this round, I liked this a lot, it's a vibe, it's a groove, it's a Gizo.

Definitely Not Secretly Not Cavedwellers

Story songs are my jams, they lend themselves innately to engagement with the listener. A twist on the boombox in the rain trope and climbing up to the window and getting arrested. The music is fine, if a little repetitive. I like the lyrics a lot, the music has a groove too it that I like from the bassline, but I think the melody I would have liked if it didn't go back to the low note at the end of the progression; my theory is not strong enough to say if that is going down to resolve at the I, but it feels like it (the low note at the end of each verse progression), and even if it went somewhere else as part of the progression, and then the second time went down to the I, I think I would have liked it more. The lyrics carry it for me on this one, very solid song, and I enjoyed it.

Definitely Not Secretly Not Glennny

I've written most of this review in talkbox.

ooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAH,ooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAH. ooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAH. ooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAH? ooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAH. ooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAHooWAH! ooWAHooWAH!

Well by now, most of y'all know I'm a dad with a terrible sense of humour, so of course I am HERE for the Corvette Seasick joke. The talkbox/wah sets the jokey tone for this one, and I'm here for it. Obviously with Glennny you always get precision guitar work. Chorus is sticky, with the stops, easy to hold on. Harmonies work, bassline works, it all comes together nicely. Hope your son manages to save up for his car with a little leftover for the dramamine.


Pannacotta Army

Another super smooth track from Pannacotta. I'm glad I can just write my thoughts this time and not have to worry about ranking anything, as this one is a great one. This song has been growing on me throughout the week. Subtle tambourine I am here for it, along with subtle organ in the bridge, lovely backing vocals. Turnaround progression at the end of the bridge was a nice surprise, this all just holds together very well. Lyrically digging into an autopsy of a failed relationship isn't new, but it's done well here with a nice twist of not doing enough to prevent the self destruction. Great song, great vocal, super polished, this is a bop; I enjoyed it a lot.

West of Vine

Insistent vocal; a lot of lyrics, a little awkward on the too good not to tell line. Nice bells/glock and guitar manual percussion. My fav line was but some nights it comes for you right where you are. Vocal might be a little hot in the mix, but not distracting. The lyrics are solid, but a few cliches thrown in there like I'd never leave you cuz if I did I'd die. Minor stuff overall, IMHO this is a solid song and I enjoyed it.

See-man-ski

I've been digging this groove this past week, one of my favs of the round, trying to figure out what it was reminding me of. I got it today, it's Two Princes by the Spin Doctors. This is a pop-rock groove, and I'm tapping my toes along. As one who has felt many times before in my odd duck life "Are you sure you really, REALLY, want me to be myself? It's super weird inside my skull". Stops for the chorus work really well, solid bass work (did you end up picking up a bass?). For constructives, all I got is there's something weird in the vocal the first time you say "wonder" like "wond" - "er" in each chorus; not sure if it's intentional, but it sounds like an odd edit or artifact of the production to my ear. Solo works too, great all around, this is my kinda jam. I might have loved it if you ended the song with "You didn't mean it."

My Broken Demo Tape

Are those cicadas for the noise pad in the background? It's a cool texture. This song imparts a lilting sad feeling of floating down a stream with no control over where the water takes you. I enjoy the vibe, texture, and solid vocal take here; really nice falsetto. it's a little hard to hold onto, as it feels a bit abstract and fourth-wall breaking; concluding the scene feels premature and almost like a lyrical copout to end early b/c perhaps the narrator didn't know where to go. I think rather than going fourth wall, I would have liked the failed relationship coming back together again to potentially try, or potentially repeat the same mistake. The song feels like it's ready to delve into a warm, dark, painful topic, but lyrically it feels like it only scratches the surface in vagueness. It rolls in and out like mist, and is pleasant to listen to, but I have a hard time digging in for more. Kind of like eating cotton candy; sweet but ephemeral.

Siebass

This is me. I wanted to do something different from normal with a simple acoustic, breathy vocals and emotional introspective lyrics. A few spots where I can hear the vocal tuning, but in my choices of evils, I'd take slightly overtuned over off pitch 9 times out of 10 personally. I also had to Google how to turn OFF the grid in Logic to play this without a locked tempo to aim for a more cantabile style. I know I read the reviews for everyone else, but I'm not sure if other folks do. If you read this, DM me a star emoji, I'm simply curious who else goes through everything. For the song, I feel like I achieved what I wanted, I am pleased with this, I hope you all like it.

AIB

This is one of my favorites of the round. The piano in the bass perfectly complements the percussive guitar, mandolin in the upper register. Natural eq due to instrument choices. This song is so excellent due to many many excellent choices, and excellent performances. Vocal and piano are my favorite parts, insistent and emotive lyrics. Bringing in extra vocals only for the bridge, top notch. I found one weird note on the very last "mile". Literally my only critique. I think for everyone else we are just Also in SpinTunes.
Last edited by Siebass on Tue Sep 10, 2024 8:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by gizo »

Siebass wrote:
Tue Sep 10, 2024 11:28 am
Surprising how much listening you can get done with 5 extra hours in the Detroit airport.

Definitely Not Secretly Not Gizo

I read this song as a song performed by a computer antivirus or firewall, constantly updating, constantly keeping you safe. Bitcrushed bleeps and bloops lend themselves well to this theme too; building a wall for a good cause; keep out the viruses and malware. There is one "mean" much louder than the rest, not sure if that was on purpose. Messed up virus definitions, spam/viruses getting through. Such an ominous and angry sounding firewall! I enjoyed this, but I work in IT so I'm biased.

Stacking Theory

Awash in vibe, I float along in the texture that is sad beach music living deep within Gizo's heart. The Jackson Pollock of emotional arrangement. Nice choices here on the distorted guitar, soft electric piano, washy guitar delay textures. This is a vibe. Reaching out, touching me, TOUCHING YOUUUUUUU! Lyrically it's a bit of a pastiche of feelings and words that evoke emotions, but I have trouble scrutiny (is that a word?) what is going on. I read the bio later, and it makes sense, but it's tough to get that from just the lyrics alone. That said, as with most songs this round, I liked this a lot, it's a vibe, it's a groove, it's a Gizo.
Thank you for the thoughts and listening.

Yeah, there's a shitty overdub on 'mean' - I was very short on time, recorded KYS in 2 hours on Friday, and then on Saturday (during my little 3 hour window to record ST song) realised I'd sung 'win' instead of 'mean' and did a quick overdub which I obviously didn't mix or check before sending to Micah.

Ha - I hadn't even spotted the Sweet Caroline in there! Thanks for pointing it out, I love it!
I would've liked to have a narrative for Stacking Theory, but this is what found its way through the noise.

Take care
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Re: SpinTunes 23 Round 1 Challenge - 'Wait, What?'

Post by BoffoYux »

Chumpy wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2024 6:52 pm
[*]02:19:39 - Boffo Yux Dudes
Thanks for reviewing the tunes and taking the time to bring back the 'Two Jerks One Vote podcast'. That was a LOT of work in a short turnaround.

Also thank you for having the stamina to give us an actual review, since we were the last entry. It would be very easy to phone it in after the hours of reviews before us.

Some context for your notes:

I don't know if BYD has 'mellowed' over the years, or just matured a bit. We still can do the novelty song with the best of them, but I feel we've been letting the songs develop where they naturally flow to, as opposed to 'shoehorning in the rhymes to hammer in the joke' that we used to do.

You got me on the rushin' line. I wanted to include it somewhere but as a note that he's 'not russian' in his thinking by actually using his brain. He didn't just rubber stamp what the machines said were a valid signal. His whole demeaner in the song was analyzing things and not hurrying into a response for more analytical thinking.

The Bowie homage also fit as a nod to space without the hammer on the head.

I like how Allan managed to make the chorus uplifting and spacy at the same time.

When we were bouncing ideas, we said unless we could come up with an awesome relationship idea we'd try and go a unique path. Petrov fit the bill - it felt right to make the guy just a good husband - that was his life. His job just happened to be life and death, but he didn't have to lose his head, just remain methodical and check what was happening instead of just passing things up the line.

You have a point that we made the conscious decision to downplay the death and destruction conflict angle to more it was a bad day at work, and he just wants to go back home to a normal life with his wife. Everyone around him is scrambling, but he's not panicking. He's analyzing. And he's made the right decision, even though he might get punished for doing that decision.

(Ultimately, he was considered a hero, but he couldn't be honored without someone taking the fall for it all, and nothing became of it internally. Much later he was recognized by the west for what he had done.)

For the tone - I thought it more methodical than plodding which is closer to a Russian theme but also a callback to patience and a mirror of the guy's disposition. That's as passionate as he gets. He just wants to go back home at the end of the day, and with the decisions he made, it came true.

FYI - the first version of the song was an even SLOWER BALLAD.

Again - thank you both for the perseverance in reviewing all those songs with a constructive outlook. Some songs may not have been your cup of tea, but I think you gave most of them a fair shake - it took me a few work commutes to get thru it all, and to sit and do it in one pass and then editing it was a process, I'm sure.
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