The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Delicious Burger
by The Idiot Kings

McDonaldland, 1988:
Would’ve the best town in any other state
But underneath the sheen, dark secrets were at play
Mayor McCheese prepared to make his rival go away

Mayor McCheese was a delicious burger
But he nearly got away with murder

The Professor wanted change and threw his hat in the ring
So McCheese called in a favor from his friend the Burger King
BK promised to fulfill all the mayor’s wishes:
This time tomorrow Prof would sleep with the fishes

Mayor McCheese was a delicious burger
But he nearly got away with murder

Early Birdie noticed that the Prof had disappeared
Grimace and the Fry Kids felt a pang of fear
Big Mac was concerned and took up the case
And found the disappearance was not hard to trace

Mayor McCheese was a delicious burger
But he nearly got away with murder

The King had gotten sloppy and left behind some prints
They were already on file from prior incidents
He cracked under pressure and admitted what he did
The who, the why, and where the body was hid

Mayor McCheese was a delicious burger
But he nearly got away with murder
All of Ronald’s horses and all of his men
Couldn’t put Professor back together again

McCheese is now serving 60 years to life
A slap on the wrist in a certain kind of light
Cause we know those burgers don’t deteriorate
So McCheese will be free in ‘48

…to kill again?

Delicious Burger
By Clorpo and Ghombie

I'm not a liar, I'm hardly a thief, I'm not a murderer
Arch criminal, I'm the damn Hamburglar.
Clowns getting nervouser, everybody's heard of the
Burger buns filling up my house like the furniture.
Patties with the curvature, copped a couple earlier,
Never said it's over cause I've never been a perjurer.
Ronald's on the verge of a buyout or a merger
Cause I'm burning through his assets when I ate about a third of them.

[Chorus]
Burgers are like kisses, more delicious when stolen.
I'll hold a 20-sack, 10 Macs, 10 McDoubles.
I'm in trouble with the law but the law can wait.
I'm living large, because of all the burgers I ate.

I lay waste to the plates at the Drive-Thru,
Everybody hiding all the sliders when I ride through
But I spied food with my eye so I tried to
Get it til the ops rolled up, what did I do?
I said, Robble Robble,
we like to gobble,
I cause a lot of problems,
For Ronald McDonald,
And Grimace gonna grimace when I take away his spinach
If I have it my way, yo I'm never getting thinner cause

[Chorus]

McRib is never coming back, I stole it all in advance,
And they're out of French fries cause I stole all of France,
Now they're running out of salads cause I stole all the plants,
They never got hotdogs, cause they're all in my pants.
I don't do this for the money, don't do it for the fans,
I do it for the feeling of the meat in my hands
So throw your burgers in the air if y'all are feeling me now,
Thinking ten steps ahead, now I'm stealing the cow.

[Chorus]

Delicious Burger (Hoblit)

All I want is
delicious burgers
but I don't eat no meat

I don't need no
bunless bullshit
or use a keto cheat

Just make me one thing, something I can eat
Make me a burger
Grill me a burger
A delicious burger

I like ketchup and yellow mustard too
like most of you

Maybe we disagree
on the seeds of sesame
But I'm down here on my knee
begging for all of you to see

That all I want is delicious burgers
All I want is delicious burgers

It's beyond my
comprehension
incognoscible

To ever get one
and up until now
was impossible

With cheese and everything irresponsible
Make me a burger
Grill me a burger
A delicious burger

I like ketchup (he likes ketchup)
and yellow mustard too
like most of you (like most of you)

Maybe we disagree
on the seeds of sesame
But I'm down here on my knee
begging for all of you to see

People like me aren't really agenda enemies
We all share in the common love of a delicious burger
The twenty first century bore a Whopper of a king
Who did the impossible and brought us all together
With a delicious burger

I like ketchup (he likes ketchup)
and yellow mustard too
like most of you (like most of you)

Maybe we disagree
on the seeds of sesame
But I'm down here on my knee
begging for all of you to see

People like me aren't really agenda enemies
We all share in the common love of a delicious burger
The twenty first century bore a Whopper of a king
Who did the impossible and brought us all together
With a delicious burger.