The other half of my Requiem-writing team is here helping me review. His name's Ben and will be called B:
Thornberry:
L - Are you singing through a bong?
B - His voice sounds like, you know when South Park writes a song?
L - I like this when it picks up. The like dreamy guitar thing.
B - I'm trying to think of something to say. Fuckin', uh, derka derka.
L - I like the airiness of this. Oh shit, Lenny Kravitz.
B - With wings?
L - Yeah. Your backup vocals make this really good. It sounds like track 14 on Pixies' Doolittle.
B - I like it. I love South Park.
L - The ending is kinda...
B - Derka derka.
Wally Harbringer:
B - I love fuckin' curry food.
L - I like that this sounds like John Zorn on banjo and Gene Ween on vocals. I like this.
B - Yeah, I'm into it.
L - It's weird, but credible.
B - It's no Requiem...
L - The vocals and all the weird shit going on just give this a really cool-
B - I feel like this should be heard at high noon... oh wait I thought heard some cowboy shit... I was wrong.
L - ...a really cool detached effect.
B - I kind of like it.
L - These songs are so long.
B - Pour me some Arizona ice tea, we've got a long ride.
L - Vaya con Dios.
B - And these boots are tight. Cowboy shit, balls.
(B pours two small glasses of Arizona ice tea. L takes a sip pensively.)
L - The taste of lemons is prevalent, and I enjoy the heady aroma of herbs.
B - I've seen like 3 tumbleweeds roll by.
Buxtahoota:
L - I've heard this before. I'm not saying you're a plagiarist, just... I mean this has been done yeah?
B - I don't even know what to say.
(B pours two small glasses of Arizona ice tea. L takes a sip pensively.)
L - The taste of lemons is prevalent, and I enjoy the heady aroma of herbs.
B - I've seen like 3 tumbleweeds roll by.
fwc:
L - Ben was about to make fun of this, but I stopped him.
B - Sounds like Morrissey? Is he?
L - Morrissey's a dick.
B - He's old.
L - The throbbing synth has that great organic synthetic thing.
B - If Morrissey and Mega Man had a child...
L - I really do like this.
B - ...and they named it Fruityloops.
L - These songs are all so long. Also, your vocals lost their complacency near the middle and started getting a little rambley.
B - What does complacency mean?
L - Like, calm? Tranquility? (L spreads his hands and closes his eyes)
B - (into phone) Hello? What are you doing? Blah blah, I know it's gonna be so much fun... I miss you too. No. Nice, nice, alright love you.
Steve Durand:
L - This started off so promising and then turned into like the worst fuck jam ever.
B - (laughs) Am I invited?
L - (shrugs)
B - I feel like this is borderline porn music. Like if you slowed it down a little bit.
L - Your use of the horns was so good last week and this week it's totally exploitive.
B - I feel like that guitar is cockblocking the brass.
L - This is like the Mardi Gras parade as it passes in front of the Strip Club.
B - Yeah.
King Arthur:
B - Their voices all sound the same.
L - ...
B - I feel like I get to say everything you want to say.
L - No, I was just thinking.
B - Let's do some King Arthur jokes.
L - What?
B - Merrrrrlin.
L - Ok, this song has a cool funk swing to it, and I like that the vocals are clear and in the foreground.
B - I hate Phoenix.
L - Whoah!
B - Phoenix is no Requiem.
L - Christ.
B - Are these songs like 5 minutes long?
Here; Let Me Phunt You:
L - We have to say something nice here, I know them.
B - But I like this.
L - Well we don't have to
lie.
B - This would be a sweet-ass song to play like every time I walked into the room. Like, even in the bathroom.
L - You sound like an idiot. So um, rare form young Ryan and good job and all and see you back at the house.
B - No, but I really like that song.
Deshead:
L - I'm not that into this.
B - Yeah... It... whatsit, it sounds like not like Creed but...
L - Blue Oyster Cult?
B - Are they related to Creed?
L - Is that all we have to say about this?
(B pours two small glasses of Arizona ice tea. L takes a sip pensively.)
L - The taste of lemons is prevalent, and I enjoy the heady aroma of herbs.
B - I've seen like 3 tumbleweeds roll by.
Ross Durand:
L - I'm not going to compare brothers here. You sound like you're pushing 50.
B - Is that ya pappy?
L - No but I mean, I like- oh wait this bass thing is throwing me off. I liked it more before that came in.
B - Bowwown Bowwown.
L - Yeah, like this and like that and like (B interjects with: bowwown) this... see? You're throwing me off. I like the harmonies and U2 guitar.
B - I've seen like 3 bowwowns roll by.
David 'Over:
B - I think this sounds like a James Bond Western. It starts out like that.
L - I like the way the vocals sound. A little low for you?
B - Bowwown... oh I'm sorry.
L - This has kind of a Ween sound to it. But it's not funny.
B - I actually don't, like, mind it.
L - I like when the distortion comes in.
B - See how long it is.
L - I'm totally David 'Over this.
Ryan Rickenbach:
B - I totally love how you took his name in that last review and then used his last name in a clever play on words, a new context if you will.
L - Thank you Ben.
B - You're very welcome.
L - This is another western song, done by Elliott Smith but happy.
B - RickenBACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN.
L - Shut the fuck up.
B - I'm not as good at that as you.
L - The guitar has a nice lil' rhythm to it, and I like the lead guitar in the background. Very subtle.
B - Have we listened to any of the lyrics in any of the songs? Did he just say derka?
L - I can't remember what he just said. Get it? That was- hey the song stopped.
B - But this is my favorite part.
Wendigo:
B - Oh I really love this song.
L - Me too. The way it sounds in my headphones makes me feel giddy.
B - I totally heard that somewhere before... but where?
L - Nice job on this Rye Bread (do u have a nickname 4 me and do u like me?)
Noah McLaughlin:
B - Tuh.
L - Myuh.
B - I keep hearing South Park. This is them doing the Ben Afleck song or something. Do you not hear it?
L - Well I mean other than that it's an ok song. The percussion is straight out of Spaceship Warlock.
WreckdoM:
L - I love this shit.
B - I love the fuckin'... um... beatboxing.
L - I love the Satan's Music Box.
B - Let's play it backwards.
L - Then it would be a Requiem.
B - I totally love Requiems. I really like this.