The Song Fight Bulletin Board

DELETED

Who votes to delete this?

Dear img2002,

There are many portions of your website that made me laugh, but the "Free Review Giveaway" in the "About Us" portion of your website has to be my favorite.

You know, where you can enter to win a free written review of your music (a $29.99) value.

$30 a review! Wow. J$ and Blue Lang should be freaking millionaires by now! Let's hope they don't decide to go back and charge us for all of their "free written reviews".

roymond wrote:Who votes to delete this?

I was thinking about it, but maybe this thread could be a good warning to people who are actually considering trying something like this.

Or at least it will be comical.

Although it looks like this isn't the <a href="http://songfight.net/forums/viewtopic.p ... ank">first time</a> this user has attempted to post something like this.

So it makes more sense to delete img2002's account. Spud? JB?

ROCK!

Glenn (DR FUNK)

What a sweet fucking offer!!! On the internets, someone found me and just started offering me stuff!! WOW!!! I'll never read a book again.

Justin!

How have you been? Haven't seen you in ages. We probably should start considering recording again soon, shouldn't we?

You know... so we can get a chance at that FREE REVIEW! (a $29.99 value)

ROCK!

Glenn (DR FUNK)

img2002 wrote:RECORD DEALS & FREE MUSIC REVIEWS

Now seeking talent for promotion to major recording companies & select independent labels. Free reviews are available to the first 50 respondents!! Record deals with free distribution and promotion are also available to qualified artists... visit http://clix.to/img or contact imaginerecords2005@hotmail.com for more information.

Reply to this posting through our webpage or e-mail only!!

Hopefully, this will become a songfight tradition. He was here last year ( http://songfight.net/forums/viewtopic.p ... ght=#11667 ), and I can only hope that some time between Halloween and Christmas of 2006, we will yet again see a return of the Review Fairy.

Since you didn't heed my words from last year, I'll repeat them: If you want to be able to swindle as many people as possible out of $29.99, for Pete's sake get rid of your hotmail account. It screams "I am going to rip you off", and that scares away potential people who you could be ripping off.

New advice for the '05: 1) Testimonials are only good when they are verifiable. Get some friends of yours to make up fake myspace accounts with one or two songs each, and then credit the quotes to the fake bands at myspace. It may take some work to grind out a few songs, but it would really sell the authenticity.

2) Contests with no closing dates set off people's bullshit detectors. Change the part about free reviews to read "Three free reviews given out every month! Artists will be notified at the first of every month! Didn't win? Feel free to try again next month!" Or something like that. The way it reads now is "Send me all this info, and we'll pick some "winners" if and when we feel like it".

3) Your "About Us" section is so terribly weak. It's very clear that you have no real connections to anyone connected with a record company. So you should lie, or at least exaggerate the fact that you have easily attainable phone numbers, emails and addresses and play that up so that it sounds like you are an impressive force in the music industry.

4) You really shouldn't ask people to blindly paypal you $29.99, and then say that you will contact <i>them</i> in 2 business days. If you were professional, you'd have a form where they upload their tracks over the web when they paypal you the money. To not have something like this makes you seem unprofessional, and will make it harder to steal money from people.

There are lots of other things that I've noticed about your site, but I don't want to give everything away. If you paypal me $15.16, then in 48 business hours I will send you instructions on what else you can do to maximize the amount of money you can steal from unsuspecting musicians.

GlennCase wrote:So it makes more sense to delete img2002's account. Spud? JB?

Banning him will do less good than mocking him.

How do you determine "winners" of a review contest if they are only supposed to send band INFO, but not material?????


"hhmmmm....weaselslayer...good name... looks like a top seller.."



(weaselslayerluke...your name is merely being used as a prop, first one that popped into my head...enjoy your free review.)


Well, let me set the record straight.

I paid for three reviews last year. I know, I know, sounds crazy...but here's the thing... I'm a star now in Tibet! That's right, thanks to IMG, I'm on my way to fame and fortune!

If it can work for me...it can work for you.

I already moved the post to Monkey Business. Seemed better than just deleting it.

GlennCase wrote:Dear img2002,
Blue Lang should be freaking millionaires by now! Let's hope they don't decide to go back and charge us for all of their "free written reviews".

somesongs owes me $27,000.

Whois and google agree that the person behind IMG and Imagine Records is "T Buburuz". The reviews that he gives out are all oddly similar, with only a few key words here and there changed in a feeble attempt to thwart people with absolutely no Google-fu. If you pay your $30, you will get something similar to what other people have already gotten.

Also, along erikb's line: use the words "Morals" and "Christian" that's the way to get stupid people who want to give money away.

I am a top seller! I'm gonna make it!

For any of you who were interested in this invaluable offer, I will be running a similar service at half the price. Please paypal me immediately for your reviews in 6-8 weeks.

Ken

WeaselSlayer wrote:I am a top seller! I'm gonna make it!

You get no fuckin coffee. Coffee is for CLOSERS!!!

I stopped reviewing months ago. For this, I believe you all owe me big time.

songfight needs a run of Mamet-inspired song titles, for sure.

ken wrote:For any of you who were interested in this invaluable offer, I will be running a similar service at half the price. Please paypal me immediately for your reviews in 6-8 weeks.

Ken

CALL ME CRAZY BUT I WILL BEAT THIS PRICE!!!!

I will have your reviews typed up in about an hour while you wait!

Free coffee and cable TV in the lobby!!

Just send me $10 and your sister's phone number! And if you call now...

...

...

Guys I found a much better deal....

see all you have to do is give this guy... all your band information, a copy of your music, any and all copywrite information, your social security number, your phone number, your credit card number, and he'll review your music for free...how cool is that

shadow_speaker wrote:Guys I found a much better deal....

see all you have to do is give this guy... all your band information, a copy of your music, any and all copywrite information, your social security number, your phone number, your credit card number, and he'll review your music for free...how cool is that

If I have two credit cards, can I get TWO REVIEWS?

Ken

Frankly, I think this guy does it to spread the love. Look at the love in this room!! Look at it!!

yes...he brought us all together by giving us all something to talk about...how much we hate him