My Lord, look at all the songs (Adonai reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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Spud
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My Lord, look at all the songs (Adonai reviews)

Post by Spud »

Doesn't anyone start review threads any more? Probably isn't any art, either. From the look of it, you are all too busy writing songs, I guess.
Last edited by Spud on Mon Feb 06, 2006 3:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by jeffhenderson »

It's Saturday afternoon. Everyone is still in bed.

Last time I ended up having a pretty different opinion about the some of the songs after listening to them more, so this week I'm going to put them on my iPod for a few days before I review.
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Post by frankie big face »

Some reviews:

Dr. Spectacular's Power Circus - well, you have a catchy little piano riff there and a nice dynamic performance. But what is this song supposed to be? A rip on religion or an ode to religion? The chorus is right out of the Christian Rock handbook but the verses are all ridiculous rhymes about puppies and kittens. I like the guitar solo and the synth pad that follows, but damn, it's only halfway through the song and it already seems overlong. Oh, that little disco beat at the end is a mistake.

Melvin - hmm...I think you lifted the verse from Fountains of Wayne's "Peace and Love", but they were wise enough to keep the monotnous melody to eight bars whereas yours goes on for sixteen. (I know you add a lot of nice little touches along the way--a cool guitar riff, a nice little synth patch--but it's still a pretty bland melody. This song is nicely constructed and well-performed and recorded, but I don't like it very much. I also think you mispronounced Adonai, but that's hardly a crime--I had to look it up myself.

Jeff Robertson - hey, an old-timey folk song! I like your background instruments, especially the slide guitar. But even the old-timey folk singers who were vocally challenged didn't sing this out of tune. And you believed them when they sang. You're not very convincing. In fact, if you really believed what you were singing was worth singing, you'd hit that note in the chorus.

Thornberry - I think this song would be more effective without the lush instrumentation. If you had sung this with just an acoustic guitar, the song would communicate some real despair and helplessness. But as it is, your voice and message is dominated by the instruments. Pretty good song overall, though. (Are those background things at the end sampled from "Roundabout"?)

Bjam - Hey, I like that little rasp on your voice--where'd that come from? This is good. The vocal harmonies in the middle are a great idea and the first one is perfect. The others suffer a tad from execution, but the idea is cool. This is a great song--good job. (EDIT: just read your lyrics--vey nice.)

Wes Davis - This is stupid.

fourthgradegladiators - I love the little riff that's played underneath the verse. I wish I could hear it better. The vocals kind of cover everything up. I'm enjoying this--it's a strange little number. But I think you gave up on the lyrics a little too soon. Surely you had another verse in you? Like Dr. Spectacular's Power Circus, you scrimped on the words and filled in with a long instrumental and that's a letdown, imo.

Doscientos - What a charming sound! It's like the Shirelles came in through my computer. People don't write songs like this much anymore. And they're usually not about god, so the combination is a bit strange. I mean, I like the song, but I'm not sure how well the style fits the title. Anyway, bonus points for the retro sound and for keeping it short. I liked it.

Kill Me Sarah - It's kind of hard for me to understand the lyrics and in a song like this, that's pretty important. My big complaint with this song is the way you sing the melody. All that glissando, sliding in and out notes--just sing the note already! (BTW, your production seems fine to me. I haven't heard your other songs, so maybe it's improved, but I don't see anything wrong with it, other than the fact that I couldn't understand your words. That could be just me, though.)

fwc - This song surprised me. When it first came on, I thought I was going to hate it. I was like, "oh man, this is going to be some boring electronic crap." But this is awesome. It's winning because you have good vocal melodies over the fuzzy synth. Well, at least until the last verse, which isn't sung very well. Still, one of the more interesting submissions this week.

Jacob Lynn - Here's the electronic crap I was expecting! Actually, this is really not that bad. And I supposed it evokes the concept of Adonai in the sounds you've chosen to use. But it could have just as easily have been submitted for the other fight. Instrumentals on SongFight are lame.

Caravan Ray - terrible on a multitude of levels. And I guess that counts for something.

Mab Jonah - I don't like the song, so let's get that out of the way first. BUT...I like the sounds that you've strung together, I like the production, and I like your voice in that range. There are definitely a lot of positive aspects to this song, but in the end, the song itself just didn't do anything for me. Oh well--I'm sure there are people who will love it.

I had a song 75% written for this fight, but didn't find time to finish/record it. Maybe someday. Anyway, I vote for Bjam.
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Post by Kill Me Sarah »

frankie big face wrote:Kill Me Sarah - It's kind of hard for me to understand the lyrics and in a song like this, that's pretty important.

Lyrics posted in Ye Old Archive.
frankie big face wrote: My big complaint with this song is the way you sing the melody. All that glissando, sliding in and out notes--just sing the note already!
My knowledge of musical theory and terminology is sketchy at best, but I love learning about it. I had to look up "glassando". I understand it basically means sliding up and down a series of notes. Could you describe what you don't like though? Like perhaps tell me a line that does this so I can know more specifically what you mean?
frankie big face wrote: (BTW, your production seems fine to me. I haven't heard your other songs, so maybe it's improved, but I don't see anything wrong with it, other than the fact that I couldn't understand your words. That could be just me, though.)
Thanks! I definitely put more effort into it this time. Ironically, I feel my song didn't get developed as much as I wanted it to because I was more focused on the production this time, but I guess I can't expect to have it all in a week, especially with my current skill sets.

BTW - LOVING the entries for this song. I felt it would be presumpuous to post reviews last week, it being my first week and all, but I'll definitely get some reviews up for this one. I'm four songs in and I like them all so far.
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Post by frankie big face »

kill_me_sarah wrote:Could you describe what you don't like though? Like perhaps tell me a line that does this so I can know more specifically what you mean?
Sure. The first really ugly example occurs on "water" in the first verse. The next is on "Oh". You probably get the idea with those two examples. Maybe "glissando" is the wrong term, because it's more like a slide into one note and glissando does indicate more of a slide from note to note. Understand that this is a personal pet peeve of mine--others may dig that style. I find it annoying. (For the most blatant use of this technique, check out "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from the Jesus Christ Superstar S/T. I want to shoot Yvonne Elliman every time I hear that song.)
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Post by Bjam »

frankie big face wrote: Bjam - Hey, I like that little rasp on your voice--where'd that come from?
My mum's cold. :) Looking after her for the week, then rehearsing for a music audition all night, and then trying to do vocals amounts in a raspy tired voice. Thanks for the vote!
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Post by Kill Me Sarah »

frankie big face wrote:
kill_me_sarah wrote:Could you describe what you don't like though? Like perhaps tell me a line that does this so I can know more specifically what you mean?
Sure. The first really ugly example occurs on "water" in the first verse. The next is on "Oh". You probably get the idea with those two examples. Maybe "glissando" is the wrong term, because it's more like a slide into one note and glissando does indicate more of a slide from note to note. Understand that this is a personal pet peeve of mine--others may dig that style. I find it annoying.
Thanks for elaborating. I'd be curious what others have to to say about this in particular. I personally enjoy that style of singing (obviously) when I hear it in other songs. But I've also never really attempted it to the degree I did in this song, so I may have executed it terribly.
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Post by boltoph »

Thornberry that's a sweet tune, esp. what goes on with the singer for that chorus around 1:30; and the ending. Melvin, too. Nice garage band sound.
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Post by Bjam »

Bjam
This was a 20 minute wonder to get out of a music funk I was in while working on the Mab Jonah song. Y'know when you've got a song that just wants to burst out however much you try to calm it down? Yeah. Also, fear the 3 part layering. This would be better if it wasn't done in 20 minutes, but y'know, it was.

Caravan Ray
The beginning sounds like you're about to go rob a bank and try to escape in a ccomicly running fashion. Actually, the whole thing sounds like that. I like the vocal layering. Very fun. Some of the vocals are a little off, and the whole thing sounds a little lofi, but it's still kinda fun.

Doscientos
Whoa, that's quite a sudden start. This has a nice 50s feeling, especially with the 'a-ooh' vocals and the bass and the drums. The vocals are nice, but very... piercing. Holy crap, this is 9 minutes long? I don't think I can handle that much rock'n'roll. Okay, so it's actually 1:43. iTunes tried to make it longer. Or maybe that's why the beginnig is so sudden. I don't know. It's cute for the genre.

Dr. Spectacular's Power Circus
7 minutes? There is something *funny* going on with iTunes/stream all tonight. So the piano's cute. As are the touching boy vocals. The lyrics are funny. This is a cute thing, definitely. Oh, never mind, this one actually *is* 7 minutes long. Man oh man. Luckily this is at least good. I can see this being your big band finishing of a concert song. Then all the preteens will throw their training bras at you. Cute song.

fourthgradegladiators
Eh, this is okay. The vocals sound so far away, but the whole song sounds like that so I'm guessing it's a stylistic kind of thing. This has a lot of nice elements, but that's it. I don't know. I found myself wanting something. The many vocals was cute, but just sounded kinda crappy in the stylistic way you did it. The bass at the end killed my speakers. Where was the Adonai mention?

fwc
Ooh, quiet quiet vocals. Sing up, boy. The music gets a little repetitive after a while. This is kinda sending me to sleep. I've got to say, it's not very interesting and the kind of muffled lethargic style is very... sleepy. The lyric idea is cute, and it kind of works, and the drums add in that 'marching' theme. An okay song, and could be pretty good with very strong vocals. Have some guy really believing in what he's marching in.

Jacob Lynn
Not my thing. It sounds good for what it is, and I'm sure I'd love it if I was in a club on an acid trip. I do like how you interwined the... monks chanting? And everything sounds rather etheral after the boomy intro. Nice scope, but it's just not working for me personally.

Jeff Robertson
You're trying to do this genre, but your vocals sound a little unbothered. The slurryness makes it very hard to pick out your lyrics. This woud be good if you got really good production so everything was highlighted perfectly. The last two guitar twangs are just strange.

Kill Me Sarah
And floooooat. And flooooooat. This is kinda like fwc's in that lethargic style. Really nice if you're singing a baby to sleep in a lullaby style, but because of this it just kind of floats under the radar.

Mab Jonah
Woo us. :) It's always fun to go out of your genre.

Melvin
Oh, here's some indie rock pop. This isn't my favourite out of your's--Oh, I liked that "you and you and you" part--but I do find myself digging it. Seems the kind of song on a CD that isn't the main 'singles', but maybe track 8 or 9. Good, but not great.

Thornberry
This is cute. The melody gets a little repetitive after a while, but the singer's voice is nice. The bass is pretty nice, especially in that little instrumental/bridge/thing you've got going on there. The vocals get lost a little in the music, but it kinda works with the lyrics. Good song, but not great.

Wes Davis
Man, there's a lot of rockabilly g&g this week, eh? The claps are cute, and the lyrics are kinda funny, but it's all a little bit mumbley jumbley "Hey, I need to record a song, let's get my family to come and sing with me and my silly fun lyrics!" Cute, but repetitive.

Woo.
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Post by Kill Me Sarah »

Bjam wrote: Kill Me Sarah
And floooooat. And flooooooat. This is kinda like fwc's in that lethargic style. Really nice if you're singing a baby to sleep in a lullaby style, but because of this it just kind of floats under the radar.
Especially if you sing to your baby about lover's killing one another :-) FWC's entry is probably the LAST one I would have expected to have mine compared to. Not in a bad way, but still...
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Post by Leaf »

here's what I'm up to. I have to say, that I didn't look at the artist name for each song before I tried this. And it was REALLY hard for me, cause I'd tag a one word response on the tune, about half way through, and then I'd have ..thoughts. I really enjoyed tunes that I called "medicore" for example, cause I'm TRYING to review the song, and only the song, instead of the person, performance or production this time.

Bjam: average

Caravan Ray
: mediocre

Doscientos: Good.

Dr. Spectacular's Circus
: bad

FourthGradeGladiators: bad.

FWC:
mediocre

JAcob Lynn:
bad

Jeff Robertson: mediocre.

Kill Me Sarah: average

Mabjonah: good

Melvin: good

Thornberry
: average

Wes Davis: average
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Post by a bebop a rebop »

Bjam - I really like the sound of this, it's been hanging around in my head all day. The guitar sounds really clean and nice. When the three layered voices come in, some of them could use some pitchening up. I like the rhythmic feel of the vocals, though, and nice voice. I like it.

Caravan Ray - You're insane, you know, but it's cool. It's even good. Pleasantly insane. I don't know why you'd start off with a MIDI drum solo though. You have a very distinctive voice. The song's interesting but it's losing a bit of its charm each time I listen to it.

Doscientos - I really like your voice, but like someone else mentioned, this style just sounds strange against those lyrics. Is praise-abilly blasphemous? I'm pretty sure it's not, there are these people down the road from me with a praise-abilly band who think Harry Potter is evil, so I'm pretty sure they're on the good side of God, but it still sounds weird to me. Like that slide guitar. Man, this stuff sounds fun.

Dr. Spectacular's (Power?) Circus - Jesus, puppies, the truth, what? The song sounds really nice but your lyrics are making my head spin, in a bad way. Maybe they could have used a little more tightening up, or maybe some more scrapping. Like the guitar around 3:30... and then a synth pad breakdown? Cool. Thanks for varying it up a bit and building up properly during the final 3 minutes of instrumental, but it feels like you could have done more with it. Just fine, in a nice middle-of-the-road way, except for those lyrics.

Fourth Grade Gladiators - Nice bass entry there. I like the separation you have between all of the instruments, and how you sound like you're singing over a telephone, or maybe from 30 feet away. Nice guitar solo. I can't find much to pick on here except your wailing voice missing the pitches egregiously. Make sure you know what notes you want in your melody before you try to sing them. Good song though.

FWC - You sound like you've been drugged, against your will, and I like the contrast between your higher and lower singing registers. I like the lyrics a whole lot, the ones I can hear anyway. The music is extremely simple but that's not a bad thing here. Those synth hits around 3:25 are unnecessary. Nice ending too. I'd suggest that you work on your drum programming a little, some more realism would be nice. Really interesting.

Jeff Robertson - Yes, I have heard the Bible tell of the tribes of Israel. Are you going to tell me again? Sorry, Doscientos, this is really what the band down the road sounds like, and I don't like it at all. I can read the Bible if I want to hear this stuff, this isn't doing much for me, not inspiring me to worship.

Kill Me Sarah - I agree re: lullaby-esque. This is really a lot more interesting than last week's, and better sounding as well. I like the ooohs. Solid song. The lyrics and music are very much at odds, and I like it.

Mab Jonah - I can't tell if the vocals and the music are in different keys on purpose, but it's a really neat effect, especially when the bass drops out for the chorus. Really cool stuff, nice singing again Bjam.

Melvin - It's reverb-y. Alright, I honestly like this more than most of your stuff, I can't really say why. Ah, horns. I like the fact that you're branching out a bit. Lyrically, I think you could eliminate the word "ironically" in that second line, it's obvious that it's ironic, though I don't know what you'd do rhythmically instead. I guess I'm just nit-picking, I like it.

Thornberry - This is grabbing me. I like the female vocals, and the ambitiousness of all this musical stuff going on, in the instruments and in the vocals. Oh wow, has it been a guy the entire time? This is definitely a guy singing. And I like it a lot. Really nice bass line. Oh my, now you're giving me a guitar solo, this keeps getting better and better, and then you get back into the chorus at the right time. And great ending. The only thing I would ask is for more verse-type lyrical material, but that chorus melody and the instruments carried me through four minutes, so I can't complain by any measure. Great song.

Wes Davis - This is just silly, in a bad way. Do you sing anything different the entire time? No, I guess not.

I picked a terrible week to submit a vague instrumental (I'll get a mic sooner or later), there are a lot of great songs all the way around in this fight. Thornberry definitely gets my vote, but there was a lot of other nice stuff.
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Post by Thornberry »

a bebop a rebop wrote: I like the female vocals... Oh wow, has it been a guy the entire time?
**Thinking to myself** Do I risk my masculinity, and let them know that yes, it was a guy and I was mistaken for a girl. Cause on one hand, I have been working on my upper range, so this is a sign that I can pull of a girl. BUT! on the other hand, I was just mistaken for a girl...so hum..should I just leave it as if it was a duet?... **End Deep Thought


Thanks. We had fun doing the vocals..me and..that..girl you heard.

leaf wrote: I am very curious to see who would agree with a one word response, and who would disagree. (not with the idea of doing it, but rather with the choice that I make...)



Thats what you posted on your link.


I think it is an interesting idea, but I think maybe it would be good to put your one word reviews now, and then if you get time later on in the fight, tell us poor artists why we got only an average instead of a good, or anything incriment. Like, what exactly it is that made a song medicre in your opinion, because in all this, we are only trying to grow as musicians, more directly, composers, and seeing the word "average" doesnt tell me much on how to improve my craft.

But thats just me
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Post by Eidolon »

Bjam
I like the beginning of this tune.. the way it comes in is very catchy. The chord progression fits well on this one. The verses seem a little stronger than the chorus. Overall enjoyable.

Caravan Ray
Funny lyrics.. and very stylized feel for the vocals. The drums are a bit annoying.. I like the way you belt out the lyrics near the end of the song.

Doscientos
Whoa- super cute. Don't hear this style much these days anymore. I like the lead guitar and the background 'oooohs'. Have a little bit of trouble understanding the vocals but enjoy what you're singing notewise. Catchy tune.

Dr. Spectacular etc
Dig that piano roll in the beginning. Sets up a nice mood. These lyrics are bizarre. Puppies love the truth? I guess this song is just trying to be really silly or its over my head- anyway, the music is good in this one and makes me expect something serious lyric-content wise. The chorus vocal notes could be worked on a little.. it sounds like you're almost there but not quite.. just nitpicking really though, it works well enough and sorta fits the style. Some kinda intermittent drum rhythm probs when the lead guitary part comes in.. not too major though. It builds up nicely after the break. Yeah, I keep hearing drum issues here and there.. but overall good listen on this one.

4thGradeGladiators
Like the voice and the bass line and bass tone in this one. Very low and slinky. There's lotsa odd noises in the background on this one that I enjoy. The lyrics are intersting enough to make me wanna follow the story. The bass line really reminds me of something i can't place. I like when the guitar comes in. This song borrows from a lot of styles I enjoy. I think the mix gets a bit overwhelming near just before the end. I like when it settles into the bit right before it ends though. Good entry.

fwc
Like the bass progression and the initial lyrics and vocal style on this one for the first 45 seconds or so. After that the vocals and music start falling apart a little and losing direction. I had high hopes for this song when I first started listening but it sorta marched off in a direction I couldn't follow. I do like that line 'can a bible, stop a bullet...'

jacoblynn
I think the drum transition at 1min is a little scary.. it swells so in-your-face that its sorta sonically assaulting. After that I like the part that comes in.. but once again, that same drum patch/sample whatever it is is so very abrasive. Ouch on me ears-- I think i'd like this a lot better if whatever that was had the high eq or whatnot cut down a lot.. maybe just the volume on it. Its covering up what otherwise would be a good instrumental piece.

jeff robertson
I like the guitar playing on this.. the vocals need some help though. Seems like you're close to the notes you want to be singing but just aren't quit hitting it.. Especially not in any way convincing enough to be singing about the topic of this song. I think if sung with conviction and on pitch this wouldn't be that bad. I do dig the guitar and the progressions in that old timey way.

kill me sarah
The stops and starts on this piece are a little odd. I don't know if its a rhythm problem or just awkward in an undefined way. Something's up though. This sounds like a lullaby or something vocal style wise and when paired up with the slow pickin' guitar it really seems like a bedtime song. I have trouble hearing your lyrics (i know I can look them up) but they sound like they might be interesting. This song could be rather relaxing and enjoyable I think if executed a little better.. I guess i'm just saying that I hear a nice song in this style hiding in there.

mab jonah
damn catchy instrumentation during the verse (?).. like the intro part.. that riff rules. The chorus is a little weak compared with the verse. I like the transition to the accoustic.. but some of the crazy noises then start to get in the way a little bit. And then we're back to that killa groove.. heh. Some parts of this song are just so great, its a shame that some of the other parts just don't hold up enough. I think there is some good potential on this one.

melvin
Great song for this style.. like the sounds and vocals.. sounds like there are some cool lyrics on this one.. love that chorus. I think this is probably one of my favorites so far as far as a completely enjoyable and catchy song goes. As far as anything constructive to say, perhaps a little more mix work could be done but its pretty darn close. Good ride!

thornberry
WHOA.. nice vocals..! I love the voice. The musics darn good too. Seems like there are some slight rhythm push and pull probs going on throughout.. but nothing some other takes couldn't handle. Great if this was a 'live' feel kinda thing. Would love to see this song 'live'.. the ending borrows that classic descending 'all along watchtower' feel. The bass is doing some funny spazzy things near the end that could probably be perfected a bit... Another potential vote for this one.. nice work!

Wes Davis
Hahaha.. well, yeah, some funny lyrics on this one. The vocal line is quite catchy.. found myself singing this one earlier in the day. The guitar and vocals are good enough to be listenable and enjoyable. I like the 'lets go!' call out.. hehe. I'm tired, so I glad for the humor coming through on this one.


Some personal favorites (in no order:) 4th grade, melvin, thornberry, doscientos, mab jonah. Not sure who i'm voting for yet. Later.
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Post by jeffhenderson »

But what is this song supposed to be? A rip on religion or an ode to religion? The chorus is right out of the Christian Rock handbook but the verses are all ridiculous rhymes about puppies and kittens.
The song sounds really nice but your lyrics are making my head spin, in a bad way.
These lyrics are bizarre. Puppies love the truth? I guess this song is just trying to be really silly or its over my head- anyway, the music is good in this one and makes me expect something serious lyric-content wise.
Haha. Okay, these comments weren't unexpected. The true story behind these lyrics is that I came up with the first half of the first verse and played it for my band and we all thought it sounded good and was fun, but we didn't know what it meant. But I had to try to make it mean something (maybe that was my problem), so I eventually came up with the following unifying concept by which to write the rest of the song, which I thought was a good idea, but apparently I didn't excecute it too well:

Okay, so I was noticing how whenever my 3 year-old nephew prays at the dinner table, the things he thanks God for are so simple like candy, Thomas the Train, and, yes, even puppies. So I thought I would write a song to God with the type of content my nephew would come up with, only in a style that mixes adult religious jargon ("The Truth is Written" "Adonai") with simple childhood speech ("I love puppies" "Sheep are fluffy"). The point was kind of that even though on first glance the childish stuff seems like nonsense, it actually is the adult religious language that is meaningless. The chorus is actually just pretty much a re-wording of "Now I lay me down to sleep...". So the quality I was going for was kind of silly and serious at the same time, I guess in a Family Circus kind of way (if you're into that sort of thing).

^Just an explanation in case you actually care. No excuses though, if the lyrics didn't work, then it's my fault.



Dr. Spectacular's Circus: bad
By "bad" do you mean it like the dictionary says, or like the way the kids say today (like "sick" and "phat")? :)

Okay, I'm going to stop being an idiot.
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Post by anti-m »

JeffHenderson wrote:So the quality I was going for was kind of silly and serious at the same time, I guess in a Family Circus kind of way (if you're into that sort of thing).

BBBBWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!

[/my head esplode]

(Sorry, I just never imagined "songfight" and "family circus" to appear in the same post in earnest.... but that's the thing! Songfight surprises me everyday!)
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jeffhenderson
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Post by jeffhenderson »

anti-m wrote:
JeffHenderson wrote:So the quality I was going for was kind of silly and serious at the same time, I guess in a Family Circus kind of way (if you're into that sort of thing).

BBBBWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!

[/my head esplode]

(Sorry, I just never imagined "songfight" and "family circus" to appear in the same post in earnest.... but that's the thing! Songfight surprises me everyday!)
"Mommy, Do you think grandpa is here right now?"
"No, Jeffry, Grandpa's dead."
"Then who is grandma dancing with in the living room?"
"No one. She's senile."
Okay, I'm going to stop being an idiot.
Sorry, that didn't last long.
Last edited by jeffhenderson on Mon Jan 30, 2006 3:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
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big crouton
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Post by big crouton »

Jeff Henderson wrote:
Okay, so I was noticing how whenever my 3 year-old nephew prays at the dinner table, the things he thanks God for are so simple like candy, Thomas the Train, and, yes, even puppies. So I thought I would write a song to God with the type of content my nephew would come up with, only in a style that mixes adult religious jargon ("The Truth is Written" "Adonai") with simple childhood speech ("I love puppies" "Sheep are fluffy"). The point was kind of that even though on first glance the childish stuff seems like nonsense, it actually is the adult religious language that is meaningless. The chorus is actually just pretty much a re-wording of "Now I lay me down to sleep...". So the quality I was going for was kind of silly and serious at the same time, I guess in a Family Circus kind of way (if you're into that sort of thing).
Wow, I can definitely appreciate those lyrics alot more now that I see what you were going for (or maybe you just made that up to make everyone think that there was an idea behind the lyrics as opposed to them being completely random.)

By the way, just to address the drum issue that someone mentioned before, you are entirely correct in saying that there are several rhythmic issues regarding the drums (and other instruments) in our song. However, in a worthless attempt to excuse our shortcomings, I will let you know that due to various issues, we had two drummers in this song, neither of which are actual drummers. One is a piano/saxophone player, and the other is me, the guitarist/guy with the recording gear.

While I'm at it, I'll just use this post to say hello to everybody, as I am brand new here.

Hello.
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Post by Leaf »

Thornberry wrote:[I think maybe it would be good to put your one word reviews now, and then if you get time later on in the fight, tell us poor artists why we got only an average instead of a good, or anything incriment. Like, what exactly it is that made a song medicre in your opinion, because in all this, we are only trying to grow as musicians, more directly, composers, and seeing the word "average" doesnt tell me much on how to improve my craft.

But thats just me

That's me too... I shall do that. I found that I didn't really enjoy that too much as it went along. I'm just not the type of person it turns out, that would only rate a recorded song on the quality of the "song". Often, Ive read others insinuate or directly state that this is the only criteria (or at least, that is the assumption I made based on what I read, so the semantic and "prove it" cops can relax) , and that's fine for them, but I consider more than that, and forcing myself to do otherwise proved, as Anti-M pointed out, kinda boring! So, yeah, I'm gonna re-review in a way that I'm more comfortable with.

Case in point, I called one dude's tune "bad" (because it was a "piece" more than a "song" in my mind, and I couldn't imagine covering it) but it was my favourite listening experience of all the fights... uh, I think he's called Jacob Lynn.

So yeah.
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Post by Kill Me Sarah »

Okay, here's my first set of reviews on SF. I had a creative writer professor once who, after reading our stories, passed out books by authors he thought had similar styles to our own stories. I always liked that. In my reviews I tried to submit singers/bands that I found similar to the song I was reviewing. I didn't think of someone for all of them, but I'll work at that more in the future.

<b>Disclaimer:</b> I like electronic music. I have a decent collection of it. But I mostly listen to it in the background when I'm working on something that requires my attention and I don't want to be distracted. So for an electronic song to really grab me, it has to have a little extra than what is normal. Meaning that if you fall more on the Orbital side of the equation than on the Portishead side, I probably won't be thrilled by your song.

Bjam

This is a pleasant folksy number. It doesn’t grab me in any big way but it’s nice in a Patty Rothberg, subway performer kind of way. I like the idea of the harmonies, but a couple of them go a bit off-key. On-key they would be perfect.

Caravan Ray

The opening “Aaaaaa-dooooooo-naaaaiiiiiâ€
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Post by Reist »

Jeff Robertson - :? First off, predictable. I pretty much knew the tune and the chorus before you even began singing. That said, it's a pretty interesting sound. Somewhat obnoxious, but catchy at the same time. Singing needs lots of work. Needs less of the sliding to find notes. Aside from that, not bad. I give it a 3/5.

Caravan Ray - :shock: Not badly done but obnoxious. Not too bad but those voice cracks start getting to me after a while. Definitely sounds sacreligious but I can't tell. Like the ooooh oooohs in the one break. Cymbals seem too blatant. Maybe in a few of those spots you could build up the cymbals with mallets or something. I give a 2/5.

Doscientos - 8) Start has that whole old cool feel to it ... with the doowops in the back and everything. I like. The guitar soloing is pretty cool. Only problem is that the voice gets a bit annoying after a while. At least the song doesn't drag out too long. Then it could have been bad. I give it a 4/5.

Kill me Sarah - :x Voice is sliding again. And again. I don't know about this one guys. It's only a minute in and I feel like I've died and been raised from the dead only to be killed again about 10 times. Maybe not that harsh, but you really need more variety. I give it a 2/5.

Wes Davis - :lol: First voice with a really nice feel to it ... lyrics are quite repetitive ... definitely has some cool feel to it. Was this done live? Because that's pretty cool. It takes some skill to play live so that adds to my liking of the song. Good job, except for the repetitive lyrics. I give it a 4/5.

Bjam - :) Interesting vocals right off the bat ... a bit off tune on the group vocals, but that's not too bad. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Probably the most original one so far. Good ending. It's good to finish a song without dragging it out. I give it a 4.5/5.

Thornberry - :twisted: Morbid start. You pronounced adonai wrong. Those bad points aside, the feel of the song, the drums, the piano, and some of the vocals are awesome. A few pitch problems in solo vocals, but not a real problem in this style. Good songwriting, but a bit long at the end. Haunting ending however. I like that in a song. In a lot of ways, professional sounding. I give it a 4/5.

Jacob Lynn - :o Technoey. Wow :shock: . That whole cut out to mystical sounding stuff caught me off guard! That's interesting ... definitely kept me playing it ... variety is good in this type of song. Interesting harmonies as well. Once the cool zapping things came in it started distorting on my speakers, but definitely a good, built up end. I give it 4.5/5.

fwc - :cry: Vocals very tired sounding. Group vocals are interesting too ... Lyrics seem deep, but you are mumbling a bit. For me to like this song, you would need to get into it more. At the end it builds up a bit and I don't mind it too much ... should have left out the keyboard at about 3:30. I give it a 3/5.

Mab Jonah - :x Background stuff is interesting. Hard to follow the tune. I can't find much wrong with it but I seem to not find it catchy. The mixing and effects are cool though. Couldn't understand it though. I give it a 2/5.

Fourth Grade Gladiators - :oops: Hard to tell what you're doing with this one, but it's not horrible. I love the group chanting. Adds variety. This song could be pretty sweet if there was more effort on the verses. I hear some oooh ooohs in the solo ... I don't know ... the drums are a bit overbearing at spots. Not bad though, except for that bass hit at the very end. Should have left that out. I give it a 3/5.

Dr. Spectacular's Power Circus - 8) Piano riff caught me at the start. Puppies love the truth? You love kittens? That's nice. I guess with those metaphorical things you mentioned I can let those pass. Definitely has more dynamics than most of these songs. Definite drumming issues, but they keep the beat. Writing is very good. Seems like something I'd expect to hear from the beatles or something ... can't put my finger on it but it seems really good. Guitaring mixes well with piano ... keeps it interesting. And it'd better be interesting considering how long it is. What? :o Wow. This song is double the length of most that are up and it still seems to be unrepetitive. Impressive. The vocals have some moments on the high notes, but reaching that high is impressive nonetheless. I give it a 4.6/5. (Would have been 5 but was a bit too long and had some overbearing moments ex. disco beat)

Melvin - :D Good interesting start. Caught me off guard. Seems like something I'd see at a concert and want to dance around a lot. Really good feel. Makes me want to mosh or something. Good vocals as well. I enjoyed great. Trombone? what is that? Doesn't fit. The song was so good without it! Why did you put it in? :cry: :cry: YOU WOULD HAVE HAD A 5 OUT OF 5. Whatever it was wasn't played the best ... AHH. Well, I'll still give you a 4/5 but you really shouldn't have put in the trombone. I mean you really shouldn't have put in the trombone. :evil:
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Post by a bebop a rebop »

jolly roger wrote:that his speakers were distorting
Just wanted to point out that it wasn't your speakers.
Leaf wrote:nice things about my "piece"
You just gave me the warm fuzzies, Leaf. Thank you.
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