The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Expanded from the 'blades' thread.

I listened to one of the Spy vs Pie podcasts today, apparently, Phil (i think it was) said he uses his hand now. So the poll has been expanded to include that.

I also realise that the answers don't really fit the question, but I don't fucking care. You get the idea.

I thought Adelaide was a city of wine-bar-loitering bidet users.

I have never seen a bidet in my life.

Obviously I have been going to the wrong wine bars.

Folded paper is smooth paper. I like to be as smooth as possible. Irritated through noise, not through scratched bum.

That said, I don't usually mess with it. As long as it's not that super-thin 1-ply junk. Thin as in, thinner than paper thin. That said, paper thin would be overkill. 2-ply works pretty handily as-is.

Sometimes the moisturized/anti-bacterial stuff is good too, for that just-showered feeling.

Real pirates don't use toilet paper.

if i lost my arms and had to rely on someone else to wipe me, i'd probably get mad if they folded. i'd just feel unclean.

Scrunching provides ample thickness, and it helps to sorta conform to the butthole, whereas folded has to be done very carefully so as not to smear poop onto the skin of the butt. Scrunching all the way, man.

I thought I belonged to one choice, then I noticed today I am another.

I don't know what to think anymore.

Bjam wrote:I thought I belonged to one choice, then I noticed today I am another.

I don't know what to think anymore.

I hope you didn't go from folding to realizing that you were just using your bare hand.

Mogosagatai wrote:Scrunching provides ample thickness, and it helps to sorta conform to the butthole, whereas folded has to be done very carefully so as not to smear poop onto the skin of the butt. Scrunching all the way, man.

umm, you're not supposed to fold it after you wipe... i'm just sayin'.
-bill

Scrunched.

Man, there's so many other dimensions this poll could take! Front to Back, or vice versa? Reach between the legs or around?

Puce wrote:Man, there's so many other dimensions this poll could take! Front to Back, or vice versa? Reach between the legs or around?

Look. The moderators here may have been too lenient. Go ahead. Make my day. I am ready to nuke a thread. Is it gonna be this one?

Spud wrote:

Puce wrote:Man, there's so many other dimensions this poll could take! Front to Back, or vice versa? Reach between the legs or around?

Look. The moderators here may have been too lenient. Go ahead. Make my day. I am ready to nuke a thread. Is it gonna be this one?

You wouldn't dare...

i would love to be responsible for the first nuked poll topic. Another notch onto my SongFight belt (no actual belt exists)

I fold, by the way. And I eat a fairly healthy died so the smearing is near non-existent.

HeuristicsInc wrote:umm, you're not supposed to fold it after you wipe... i'm just sayin'.

Huh? Yeah I know.

I'm reach-back (not between-the-legs), and I'm really variable on the forward or backward wiping, though I lean towards front-to-back.

Also, do you stand or sit while you wipe? Or somewhere in-between? I stand, but it's kind of a hunched stand, not like I stand normally.

Mogosagatai wrote:I'm reach-back (not between-the-legs), and I'm really variable on the forward or backward wiping, though I lean towards front-to-back. I stand, but it's kind of a hunched stand, not like I stand normally.

How can you even exist?

That is the exact wiping profile of most serial killers.

everyone wrote:blah blah blah

This is the most retarded thread ever.

fluffy wrote: This is the most retarded thread ever.

Don't encourage them, fluffy. I am pretty sure that is the point.

YOU WILL ALL BE DESTROYED FOR YOUR IMPUDENCE.

THE WALL IS BEING ERECTED AS WE SPEAK. IT IS MOLDED SPECIFICALLY TO YOUR BACKS WITH EXACTING PRECISION.