The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Attention K Mart shoppers
Jesus speaks tonight
On the intercom with sales
To help you all shop right

Theres a blue light special
On broken jars of Ragu
Buy one get on free
This deal is just for you

Shh
Listen
Jesus On the intercom

Shh
Listen
Jesus On the intercom

"Attention K Mart Shoppers
I've just been informed that
Lays chips have been marked half price
Thank you and have a nice day"

Attention K Mart shoppers
Jesus speaks tonight
On the intercom with sales
To help you all shop right

Cutting back on prices
Just find the happy sticker
I think I saw one on the booze
It's four for one on liquor

Shh
Listen
Jesus On the intercom

Shh
Listen
Jesus On the intercom

"Attention K Mart Shoppers
I've just been informed that
Dove soap has been marked down to $29.50
Thank you and have a nice day"

WHAT?
29.50?
THATS NOT A SALE!
NOOOOOOO!

Attention K Mart shoppers
Jesus speaks tonight
On the intercom with sales
To help you all shop right

So listen up for Jesus
He'll save you lots of cash
He died for our sins and rose for the sales
Be quick, they're gone in a flash

"Attention K Mart shoppers
I've just been informed that I've made a mistake
Dove soap is actually $2.95, not $29.50
Thank you and have a nice day"

For some reason I heard Jello Biafra's voice in my head when I read those.

Hi -- one of our band is incapacitated -- but we hads writ already -- please take if you want change it, whatever -- you don't have to ask permission (I'm off the net for some days, I'm sorry 2 say) -- best, good luck, and so forth

Jesus on the Intercom

I was sailing the submarine of state
Into oceans both blue and calm
When Paco shouted to the pilot’s cabin
He says “I’ve got Jesus on the intercom!â€

Jesus on the Intercom words and music by Andy Balham

Well Jesus popped into mine today
To have a rummage through my CDs
My listening choice was worrying Him
Said He knows what's best for me

Said I don't need to think for myself
Hear the moral majority
Leave the blasphemous science to one side
Forget the monkey theory

And I got Jesus on the intercom
I got Jesus on the phone
I never bothered the Lord above
So please God leave me alone

There's no Satan at my front door
No Satan channel on TV
The devil might be in the detail
But at least He just lets me be

Beelzebub's no friend of mine
I don't invite Him round for tea
And if He's got a plan for my soul
I got to admire His subtlety

But I got Jesus on the intercom
I got Jesus on the phone
I never bothered the Lord above
So please God leave me alone

...by Boltoph

10-4
Hey Jesus
We're homo sapiens
We're all just your children

I knew you didn't deserve us
No, you wouldn't desert us
I knew you wouldn't leave me
No, you wouldn't lead me on...
Gone...gone...gone

Hey Jesus, won't you say something that we can all hear
Hey Jesus, who'd you save

Oh God why did you send him?
Your only son in, to feel the burden (in the field, burning)
So close
So close, yet so far away
I heard Jesus on the intercom today

Hey Jesus, what are you trying to say? I doubt that the world can hear you
Hey Jesus

Jesus On The Intercom
By Mbeanis N. Alzin
(C) 2006 Pure Greed Records

I didn't order any takeout
Don't need cookies, Girl Scouts
Someone's at the door
Who could it be?
I'm too lazy and I'm watching TV

Jesus is on the intercom
I'm pushing talk
And he's pushing talk

Quit pushing the doorbell, fool
I don't know you
I think it's broken
So leave a flyer in the mailbox
It's open

Jesus is on the intercom
I'm pushing TALK
And he's pushing TALK

Jesus Christ has been waiting on the porch since half past noon
But I'm not gonna move
Jesus Christ is sweating in the sun
Deodorant runs down his tunic
It'll soon be ruined
Still pursuing my attention
With the intercom that I mentioned
Talk, Listen, Doorbell
Talk, Listen, Doorbell
Talk, Listen, Doorbell
Talk, Listen, Doorbell
"Hey, well...
Maybe it's disabled" he thinks to himself as he scowls at the neighbors
Jesus on the intercom
But my favortie show's on
I don't care who you are
Get out of my yard
Talk, Listen, Doorbell
Talk, Listen, Doorbell
Talk, Listen, Doorbell
Talk, Listen, Doorbell
Talk, Listen, Doorbell
Talk, Listen, Doorbell
Jesus Christ is on the porch
Push
Talk, Listen, Doorbell

Phunt Your Friends "Jesus on the Intercom".

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Jesus On The Intercom by Future Polka

It's Jesus on the radio
He says He really wants to know
just what the hell is going on
and why do things keep going wrong

Don't mess around
heat coming down
just sitting 'round
eating our curds and whey

It's Jesus on my camera phone
sitting on a fancy throne
He wonders what we're doing now
and does it fit the plan somehow

I told him how we did some songs
for Song Fight but he took it wrong
He thinks we're wasting all out time
on power chords and silly rhymes

Heat coming down
don't mess around
heat coming down
get on your kness and pray

It's jesus on the intercom
He says he's here to fix what's wrong
I buzzed him up -- that should be Him
I guess we better let Him in
somebody save me