The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Ok, time for another of Sober's "I'm gonna do this thing that will change my life" thread, but this time it's for real (maybe).

Story: My mom's boyfriend/fiance/Lance Armstrong lookalike/etc. got promoted to VP of Wrigley. His new office is in NY, rather than Dallas. He's been splitting time so far between our place here and an apartment in Newark or something.

Obviously, he'd like to have a permanent home in the area. My mom can move to an office in NY no problem.

I figured they'd be going and I'd be on my own in Dallas, but they just put a bid in on a house with an ~800 sq ft basement in west NJ. They hadn't discussed the moving situation with me, but they both really want me to come with.

The house is completely sick. Built in 1850, with well-done addons. 9 rooms, acre lot. It's the kind of home you see on HGTV. The entire house is Bose wired, and flatscreens are flush-installed in almost every room. Truly a balla dwelling.

The basement is obviously going to be sick for recording/rehearsing. There's a music store 5 miles down the road that I shouldn't have a problem gaining employ at. The commute into NYC is about 90 minutes, Philly is about the same, Atlantic City is about 2 hours away (gotta make money somehow, right?).

NY/NJ people: How hard is it to get gigs? The live music scene is great for tourists I know, but is the money there for the performers? Will I be able to bring down 3 nights/wk no problem?

I'll be a 21 year old living in my mom's basement. Yeah, I know. But I'll be in an area with huge potential with practically zero bills. Insurance/gas/etc.

I guess I'm not %100 sure what I'm asking. Maybe: "Is there any sane reason not to make this move?"

new jersey stinks.
literally!

this is a much better idea than joining the army.

dude... come on. make your own decisions. quit asking songfight about army and los angeles and tell us when you've done something. fuck, man.

Go for it, unless there are things/people/situations in TX that you can't leave behind. New Jersey does literally stink, though, but maybe not where that house is. Just anywhere in NJ that you drive through when you're heading up/down the East Coast. A 90 min. commute to NYC is a bit of a haul, too especially if you want to do that 3 nights/wk. Maybe you could live at home for a bit to save up some dough then take a whack at NYC, with the sweet recording situation available on weekends, etc. Anyway, that's a totally uninformed person's advice, for what little it's worth. Or you should move to LA, that sounded like a good idea, too. There's plenty of music related work there, and the cost of living is relatively low. Not as low as living with family, but lower than in NYC.

Ah, welcome to wonderous New Jersey.

1) Do you have a car? If you do, then New Jersey becomes a lot easier to deal with.

2) I don't understand this NJ stink stuff but I lived in NY all my life up until 2 years ago.

3) The cost of living in NJ is high. NY is higher but still NJ kicks your ass. But less than 90 minutes to either NYC or Philly makes NJ worthwhile.

4) I haven't checked out the NJ music scene much. But you're a hop and a skip from NYC. And the scene in New York is unlike any other.

Basically for a 21 year old musician, living with no bills and being so close to NYC & Philly and all the things that Jersey offers on its own (like the Jersey shore, colleges, etc.), it seems like a no-brainer to me.

I like that you share the things your wrestling with. It's interesting.

You know, why don't you try it out? You can always change your mind and move back if you like...and of course there's the whole "who are you leaving behind" (or what) versus who will you be joining (or what).


Plus, you can't beat free rent, unless it's free ownership.

I like the cute little baby Leaf avatar. The new grown-up Leaf creeps me out.

F' real, yo.

i agree w/mike.

Don't go. Stay in Dallas or move to L.A. Take the hard way.

Get out from under the wing and make your own way. I wouldn't say that if you weren't of age, but now that you're 21 the sooner you start the better.

If you wanna make music, shoot for the stars. If you feel like you need some sense of security, move with your Mom but move to Brooklyn. You're only 90 minutes away then and you can make a go of music in NYC for real.

If you want to play poker, get it over with.

Either way, get out of your parent's house and don't go back unless it's that or the sidewalk. How many pampered brats become great? Mendelssohn notwithstanding. Give yourself a chance.

JB

Stay where it's warmer.

Or

Stay with family.

Ultimately the decision is yours. Part of me says 'stay close to family' but that wouldn't be advice I would give myself. If you like Dallas, stay. You are probably in a position to take a couple of trips to Newark to 'feel it out' for yourself. I suggest you do that and see how you feel about it. Go from there. Thats my $0.02

Go overseas and see the world. But not in the Army. Try the Peace Corps. I met a lot of those dudes when I lived in Kiribati. They had a good time.

JB has hit my personal sentiments the closest. I'm trying to look at my mom's place up there as a launch pad to get started. Delusion, maybe. I do have a little bit of time to decide, but not much.

Honestly, the only thing making me think twice is the band I'm in right now. I've become great friends with some of the best musicians I've ever seen, and the have great motivation and business sense. I know that NY holds a lot more potential overall, but I'm hesitant to leave these guys.

I also feel like I need a big shakeup in my life. Maybe this will take me somewhere.

How are the ladies in New England? Eh? EH?

New Jersey is not part of New England. Imagine!

Yeah. We've already got Massachusetts. Don't stick us with New Jersey on top of it.

But since you asked... these aren't exactly my sentiments, but this is a common joke around these parts:

Q: What's the difference between a cow and a girl from Vermont?
A: A flannel shirt.

The Sober Irishman wrote:I also feel like I need a big shakeup in my life. Maybe this will take me somewhere.

My entire point is that this would NOT provide a big shakeup in your life.

free room and board at 21 isn't bad. You can use that, don't get too comfortable, get a job, save up for a little while and then break out on your own.

If you don't have a loving trusting relationship with a significant other that includes sex, DO NOT DITCH A BAND YOU LOVE.


That's just crazy.

Moving into your parents' basement at 21 is not so bad. If you're still there at 22, you have failed in life. As others have mentioned, that part of the world is pretty expensive for basic things like food and shelter, so unless you get a good job right away, (and I don't mean playing texas hold'em on your computer) you are going to be tempted to overstay your welcome. I mean, who wants to leave a comfortable situation?

Actually, JB may be on to something. If you really have even the slightest shred of interest in "making in" in the music biz, you should get into it ASAP. I would vote for LA in that case, as it's cheaper than NYC. Also, I think you should try out for American Idol.

That is definitely the way to make it in the music biz. Also, put all your hopes on your American Idol audition and if they don't like you, it clearly is the end of the world so you might as well just get it over with and die already.

dude. Simon doesn't know WHAT the fuck he is talking about.