The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Sometimes we can all say the dumbest stuff. I lucked out yesterday. I got a new student, who's 12... and I over heard his mom saying that she wanted guitar lessons for another kid. I thought this kid had only one brother, so I asked "how many people in your family?" He said "just three, my mom and me and my brother". So I ask, "where's your dad?" thinking, divorce or something.



Turned out his dad had a heartattack this summer while attempting to bike accross the country.

This kid handled it with total maturity and I could tell the poor guy was trying to "stay tough" and all... but what do you say to that eh? As I walked home, I prayed to no one in particular....thanks for making sure I didn't put my foot in my mouth on that one by accident. I hope this kid does well, that 's a terrible time to lose a parent. He's a good student, quick learner, very mature for 12.

Still, I'm sure we've all had uncomfortable experiences like that... I felt like I should write a song about it, but when I sat down with a pen and paper, I just felt like relating the story rather than making it a song.. so here it is.

Everyone does this.

A lighter tale, is a few weeks ago at the jazz club, an older guy with buck-ass teeth came up to me blabbing about the sound board and shit, and later I asked one of the bartenders "who the hell is that buck-toothed weirdo?" turns out it's her boyfriend.

Yeah, that was pretty akward. But now, I'm jamming with the guy on a regular basis, and I'm trying pretty hard to date the bartender's sister.

It's kinda the laws of probabilty that someone will say something like this every once and a while. The boy is probably 'used' to it now, and can hide it pretty well. But, don't worry too much, you did slip up, but I'm sure other people have made themselves look much stupider before to him.

Once I was getting some water from some store, and with my British accent the Americn server got all confused when I asked for it(woor-tuh vs. wah-dah). She then presumed I was Canadian, but sounded like a Brit(the mind boggles), and started rambling about how the British should have given Canada to the Americans way back when. Then she continued to continue on just bashing the English in general (which I have no problem with as I'm Scottish ) while I stood there with my money.

So, yes, everyone messes up sometimes, but everyone just shrugs and moves on.

the sober irishman wrote:I'm trying pretty hard to date the bartender's sister.

is she a crack fiend?

tviyh wrote:

the sober irishman wrote:I'm trying pretty hard to date the bartender's sister.

is she a crack fiend?

No, but I guess in the scale of progression, that's what I should date next, eh?

Actually, the jazz club where I work has three Irish sisters working there. As in, from Ireland. They came to the US about 3 years ago. They're aged 21, 24, and 28. The oldest and youngest are taken, but the middle one is quite cute, and I've talked to her quite a lot. I even gave her a ride home the other night (omg t3h 1337 pimpswors). She drinks (gasp) and smokes, to my knowledge.

She thinks my Irish stuff is, and I quote - "cute." :/

the sober irishman wrote:I guess in the scale of progression, that's what I should date next, eh?

tatj dude

sober also wrote:(omg the l33t pimpsors)

you spelled "teh" wrong

My father passed away almost 2 years ago, and my mum died 2 months ago.

I think it was on the day of my mum's funeral, I answered the phone and my brother-in-law was on the line wanting to talk to my wife. I could tell he sounded a little awkward - not quite knowing what to say to somebody who's mother just died. He ummed and ahhed searching for a suitable, breezy conversation starter, when he suddendly blurted out with; "So, that's both of your parents dead now, is it?"

I'm sure he bit his tounge the second he said it and wished he'd said something else - but it was actually the funniest thing I'd heard all day, and really cheered me up quite a bit.

1. sorry for hearing about your loss
2. yeah, that was pretty funny..I tried not to laugh too much though

I'm about to lose a grandmother soon myself. It's one of those ...could be next week ...could be next month, could be next year type dealeos...you never know with cancer. (throat)

ANYWAYS...

Another cute story about the loss of an important family member. When I used to work in the restaurant business, the charactors on the line with me at any given time were always colorful. There was a lot of chiding back and forth and what not. All for a good laugh. Well, once me and this Jason guy were totally shootin' it back and forth when I finally pulled out the mother card. I said something about 'how good his mother was' or something like 'thats not what your mother was talking last night'.

He said got real serious and said ' well, thats an awful lot of work for a necrapheliac' in a real bitter tone. Everybody hushed. Of course he was seasoned as this must have happened before. And I'm all like back peddling and saying I'm sorry and I didn't know. He then busted out laughing at me.

Yes, his mother had really been dead but it was years ago and, from working in restaurants...had gotten the whole 'mother rib nudging' already and had now developed into an art. We actually became good friends after that.

When I was in school and worked as a grocery bagger, this ditzy checker asked a lady when she was due to have the baby. She wasn't pregnant. And she had a HUGE basket of groceries, so we all had to stand there in akwarkd silence for a few minutes...

i don't even know how to respond in a situation like this. i've been fortunate to not have many people in my life die, but that just means it'll all happen at once when i'm older. i usually say "sorry to hear that" or something to that effect, but that just seems like a cheap cop out thing to say.

my friends dad recently died and i ran into him a few weeks ago, just a couple days after it happened, before i was about to leave for the weekend. i just had to wait for another of my friends to run into the foodplace and use her mealcard before we left. i tried to make him feel better and maybe take his mind off of the situation, but that is the most awkard situation i think i've ever been in. he's a really quiet guy to begin with so there was a lot of us just staring at each other trying to think of something to say. i wish it was easier to deal with death. i mean it's something that happens to everyone eventually. it's just alot harder when it's unexpected. so screw death for having to make things so awkward and difficult.

Justincombustion wrote:When I was in school and worked as a grocery bagger, this ditzy checker asked a lady when she was due to have the baby. She wasn't pregnant. And she had a HUGE basket of groceries, so we all had to stand there in akwarkd silence for a few minutes...

I did something like that once. I was standing by the door at a club while I was on break talking to the doorman. The guy at the door was real talkative to people as they came in and I ended up standing next to this woman with a heavy and rather unflattering coat on. It made her look huge. Trying to fill the awkward silence, I asked her when the baby was due. I was a new father, I must have had babies on the brain. Anyway, she reponds "Excuse me"? Being slow and dimwitted at times, I repeated the question to which she answered, "I'm not pregnant". The doorman laughed so hard I thought he was going to puke. Needless to say I left rather quickly to check the tuning on my guitar and haven't ever asked that question to a woman again.

...I 've done that, but with women that were pregnant... now, I just tip toe around the when is it due/did you have it with a little sidestepping "so, kid's are great." Then they usually fill in whether or not they are still carrying, or have given birth.


*Most women I know that have had babies retain some weight and look pregnant for a short while...3 weekish I think... thus the confusion at times.

Still comes off insulting if you blunder and ask "when's it due?" though...

fodroy wrote:i don't even know how to respond in a situation like this. i've been fortunate to not have many people in my life die, but that just means it'll all happen at once when i'm older. i usually say "sorry to hear that" or something to that effect, but that just seems like a cheap cop out thing to say.

my friends dad recently died and i ran into him a few weeks ago, just a couple days after it happened, before i was about to leave for the weekend. i just had to wait for another of my friends to run into the foodplace and use her mealcard before we left. i tried to make him feel better and maybe take his mind off of the situation, but that is the most awkard situation i think i've ever been in. he's a really quiet guy to begin with so there was a lot of us just staring at each other trying to think of something to say. i wish it was easier to deal with death. i mean it's something that happens to everyone eventually. it's just alot harder when it's unexpected. so screw death for having to make things so awkward and difficult.

I have a friend whose father just died as well. I said, "Oh man, that really sucks."

He replied "No shit."

I got a casual job working as a clown at a chain of petrol stations. We used to get bussed there in the morning and change into full costume and makeup. Four of us did it and it was a real laugh to begin with, though after a while you tend to 'zone out' and just stand there waving.
Anyhow, one day I was waving away and I suddenly realised I was waving at a funeral cortege. A woman was looking at me horrified out of the back window of a limo...
Generally it was a fun job though.

Kamakura wrote:I got a casual job working as a clown at a chain of petrol stations. We used to get bussed there in the morning and change into full costume and makeup. Four of us did it and it was a real laugh to begin with, though after a while you tend to 'zone out' and just stand there waving.
Anyhow, one day I was waving away and I suddenly realised I was waving at a funeral cortege. A woman was looking at me horrified out of the back window of a limo...
Generally it was a fun job though.

That has got to be a scene in your first video. Either that, or sell the idea to Megadeth. Mustaine would love it.

man, this just classless and disgraceful.

(cheney at the recent auschwitz memorial)

jack shite wrote:img http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2005/WORLD/europ ... ney.ap.jpg /img

man, this just classless and disgraceful.

(cheney at the recent auschwitz memorial)

Why?

Lon Cheney?

The man of a thousand faces?

Man.

You'd think with a thousand faces, he would have had a more appropriate outfit.

and left his Ipod at home.

I mean, wouldn't his old Phantom of the Opera costume have been better than that big green potato sack?

no shit. he looks like like one of the guys hired to shovel the snow.

jack shite wrote:no shit. he looks like like one of the guys hired to shovel the snow.

Would you prefer he dressed like the bloke next to him with the dead cat on his head?

The weather looks cold - he looks warm. Surely there are other things to criticise Cheney about rather than worrying about his dress sense?

One time I said I didn't like the emoticons and suggested a SongFighter could improve them, and then it turns out that Bortwein, a SongFighter, designed all of them.

Boy, was my face red.

well, apparently the folks at CNN also felt obliged to criticize him, seeing as they ran the picture.

when i first saw the picture, i swear i thought he was some random eagles fan.