The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Rain. Ugh.

QotD: Yesterday, Dre referred to some of my questions this week as depressing, so here's one that is moree absurb but it's a creative question.

If you were a professional wrestler, what would your character be?

Many people when they see pro-wrestling, the first thought is muscleheads colliding in spandex. But part of the wrestling buisness is creating a character that will appeal to an audience, whether it be in a negative or positive way.

Would you be a good guy or bad guy?

What kind of character would you have? Would be an extension of yourself? (Wrestler CM Punk has made a career out of his straight edge lifestyle). Would you play a stereotype? (Hulk Hogan plays the super American). Would you go for the outlandish (Like the Undertaker, the deadman)?

Odd that I have never heard of any wrestling pirates? Are there any?

SPUD

Yes. There have been a few wrestling pirates. Most recently, wrestler Paul Birchall used a pirate gimmick to cash in on the success of "Pirates of the Caribbean". Other than a very nice entrance (he would swing into ringside on a rope), it didn't work out very well.

There was also a wrestler named Jean Pierre Lafitte, supposedly descended from the pirate Jean Lafitte. This was basically done because the wrestler had lost his eye when he was 12 and wore an eye-patch. Again, the gimmick worked well for a short amount of time and then fizzled out.

Mexican wrestling utilizes the pirate gimmick more with luchadores like Pirata Morgan, Rey Buccanero and Perla Negra (who is the risque pirate wench)

QOTD: Ray Stevens needs to get some attention again. I'd say Guitarzan for my wrestling persona.

Crusher Ray Stevens. I haven't heard that name in a long time. One of the legends.

Guitarzan, huh. How do you get that "over"? Hmmm. I guess, he swings into ringside with guitar over his shoulder and loincloth as his costume. A good entrance gets the fans interested.

"Coming towards the ring, from deep in the heart of South America, the king of the rock and roll jungle- Guitarzan".

Could be tough to sell to the older fans but the little kids would be all over that. Merchandise! And the loincloth would get the ladies.

I can't conceive of even pretending that I was a wrestler... that makes absolutely no sense in my brain.
All of my pursuits are too geeky to translate into a gimmick that would appeal to wrestling fans, I think...
-bill

Heh, speaking of Mexican wrestlers, this is me in Moscow, on the West Coast Tour. I guess I DO have a secret wrestler inside. OK, maybe not that secret.

And can you imagine Madison Square Garden doing the Guitarzan yodel? Goosebumps, man, goosebumps.

@Spud: I have crappy cell phone video (complete with crappy cell phone audio) of y'all practicing that in Glenn's basement. I really need to figure out how to transfer that.

Geeky pursuits and wrestling can go together. If the WWE can put their show ECW on Sci-fi then anything is possible. Plus, Wrestling can be a fantasyland. It's already full of the undead, vampires, masked superheroes...

Spud wrote:
Heh, speaking of Mexican wrestlers, this is me in Moscow, on the West Coast Tour. I guess I DO have a secret wrestler inside. OK, maybe not that secret.

Doing it up, El Santo style. Nice.

Yet another. OK, I admit it. I actually AM a wrestler...

Spud wrote:
Heh, speaking of Mexican wrestlers, this is me in Moscow, on the West Coast Tour. I guess I DO have a secret wrestler inside. OK, maybe not that secret.

I do not remember that at all. Is this part of what I was missing by being in the drummer's seat? (How many drummer stereotypes does this prove?)

I needed a little help >> http://www.wrestlingname.com/

My real name = Sonic Strike Face

My band name = Bobo Hunter

I don't sound very menacing.

qotd: I'd be: The Conscientious Objector.

fluffy wrote:qotd: I'd be: The Conscientious Objector.

That could work. Really. TCO hates the ring wars but he is forced to go against his morals just to get a paycheck in a world where the economy is going down the toilet. He comes to the ring with signs of protest. He calls the fans barbarians who want to see human cockfighting.

Total heel.

It's tough to pick...

1. The White Ninja- I would Chris Farley the hell out of the other guy and probably never win, but it would be entertaining. Sorry I don't have a pic of me in a "3 sizes too small" gii.

2. Old Man McGee- Just when the other guy was about to pin me, the Scooby Doo gang would show up and take over. Then we would have a big drama scene where everybody was upset about the interruption.

3. Superfly II- My spandex would have extra fly so that when I knocked the other guy out, well yeah... maybe that wouldn't get aired.

Billy's Little Trip wrote:I needed a little help >> http://www.wrestlingname.com/

My real name = Sonic Strike Face

My band name = Bobo Hunter

I don't sound very menacing.

<--- Sheik Earthquake

Niveous wrote:That could work. Really. TCO hates the ring wars but he is forced to go against his morals just to get a paycheck in a world where the economy is going down the toilet. He comes to the ring with signs of protest. He calls the fans barbarians who want to see human cockfighting.

Total heel.

You know the wrestling business way too well.

Part of any good wrestling organization is its roster of what they sometimes call "jobbers." You know, the ones who exist solely to get the crap beaten out of them by the more established wrestlers and make them look good. They're also sometimes called "preliminary wrestlers" or "enhancement talent."

Two of the greatest jobbers ever were brothers who wrestled in the old NWA days, before it became WCW - Randy and Bill Mulkey. I mean, they were just the scrawniest, pastiest, most pathetic looking wrestlers you will ever see, and they just got the living shit kicked out of them week after week. However, during one telecast in 1987 - which aired on the same day Wrestlemania III took place - they let the Mulkeys win a match, and it was bedlam. Truly one of my favorite wrestling moments ever.

That's what I'd be if I was a wrestler, their much bigger but equally pasty, flabby and pathetic younger brother, Max Mulkey.

EDIT: Here are the Mulkeys in "action." They're taking on one guy in a handicap match, and they still get their asses kicked.

This whole conversation reminds me of the first Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movie, which I saw again recently. Whenever I see a movie with him in it I wonder when the hell Tobey Maguire will finally hit puberty and no longer look like he's 12 years old. On Imdb there's a bunch of pictures of him with a beard but I can't help but wonder if that's a special effect.

Wikipedia says he's best friends with Leonardo DiCaprio and they have a pact to always help each other out with their career. I wonder if they also have a pact to suppress each others' pituitary glands.

Albatross wrote: You know the wrestling business way too well.

Part of any good wrestling organization is its roster of what they sometimes call "jobbers." You know, the ones who exist solely to get the crap beaten out of them by the more established wrestlers and make them look good. They're also sometimes called "preliminary wrestlers" or "enhancement talent."

Two of the greatest jobbers ever were brothers who wrestled in the old NWA days, before it became WCW - Randy and Bill Mulkey. I mean, they were just the scrawniest, pastiest, most pathetic looking wrestlers you will ever see, and they just got the living shit kicked out of them week after week. However, during one telecast in 1987 - which aired on the same day Wrestlemania III took place - they let the Mulkeys win a match, and it was bedlam. Truly one of my favorite wrestling moments ever.

That's what I'd be if I was a wrestler, their much bigger but equally pasty, flabby and pathetic younger brother, Max Mulkey.

1) Yes I know the biz too well. I grew up watching wrestling with my dad and my uncle. For some people they don't get wrestling and that's okay. I watch wrestling and I think of good times. I think back to barbecues at my uncle's house before he passed away...

Wow, I actually had to take a moment there.

2) Wow, the Mulkeys. Dude, you are way too big to be a Mulkey.

He is also too big to be one of the Chapman brothers. They are a force to be reckoned with.

Niveous wrote:2) Wow, the Mulkeys. Dude, you are way too big to be a Mulkey.

I TOTALLY remember that interview! It was given the following week, after the match they won.