The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Sorry To Inform You - Paco del Stinko

Take that giant tv right off of your wall
Junk that shitful SUV and don't go to the mall
Stop whining 'bout your lawn and put in a nice garden
We've all been much too soft and it's time for us to harden

Years and years of pigging out must come to a stop
Walk away from the troth don't lap up all the slop
Trim your budget and your waste and sharpen up your mind
Tighten up your belts to save all of our behinds

You don't need that cola drink or ten kinds of detergent
You've got yourself a bigger problem and it ain't done emerging
You're a fucking sheep you can't think for yourself
So put those double stuffed Oreos right back on the shelf

Years and years of pigging out must come to a stop
Walk away from the troth don't lap up all the slop
Trim your budget and your waste and sharpen up your mind
Tighten up your belt to save all our behinds

Dear Sir or Madam, I'm sorry to inform you
But all of your self abuse has totally deformed you
Your application for position of head glutton
Has caused the board to say, hit the reject button!

You can have so much more once you live with less
Don't buy into all the bullshit that the most is best
Sure, we all need stuff and pleasure to survive
But the times are lean now so toughen up don't cry

Years and years of pigging out must come to a stop
Walk away from the troth don't lap up all the slop
Trim your budget and your waste and sharpen up your mind
Tighten up your belt to save your behind

Don't buy don't spend there is no end to all the greed stuff you don't need
Don't buy don't spend there is no end to all the greed and stuff that you don't need

Sorry to Inform You
Naked Philosophy

Dear sir,
We are sorry to inform you that your application for citizenship has been denied

The country's too big and the world is to small
How do you find your place?
The same way we've always done
Effecting a change of space

'Cos I'm secretly a Mexican
And it's time for me to go
Back to where I came from
A place I can't call home

The wallet's too small for a place this big
On the other side of the border
Same thing we've always done
Setting up a new order

'Cos I'm secretly American
It's time for me to go
Back to where I came from
A place I can't call home

You have 60 days to leave the country or face criminal prosecution and/or deportation

For work
For play
For swift governmental change

I gotta go
I gotta go...right now!

(We are sorry to inform you)
'Cos I'm secretly Canadian
And it's time for me to go
Back to where I came from
A place I can't call home

If you have any questions, please contact the Immigration and Naturalization Service or your nearest consulate office

Song Fight Song 077
Sorry To Inform You

Note: "jeux" is French for "games".

Hey, are you back from Iraq where you lost your legs in a roadside attack?
I wish I could say this country’s got your back, but I’m sorry to inform you that you’re now a potential terrorist

Hey, do you own a gun or two or have a suspiciously strong religious view?
I wish I could say this is your America too, but I’m sorry to inform you that you’re now a right-wing extremist

So when the greenshirts come
To take your neighbors
Just stay inside
They’ll be back for you later

Now,
Who, who, who will be Obama’s?
Who, who, who will be Obama’s?
You, you, and you will be Obama’s jeux

Hey, did you support Ron Paul or the building of a southern border wall?
I wish I could say that we could talk about it all, but I’m sorry to inform you that you’re now a right-wing terrorist

Hey, do you have a different view on abortion, gay marriage, or “under God” in school?
I wish I could say that every view is cool, but I’m sorry to inform you that you’re now a potential extremist

So when the greenshirts come
To take you away
Make sure that you’ve already
Showered and shaved

Now
Who, who, who will be Obama’s?
Who, who, who will be Obama’s?
You, you, and you will be Obama’s jeux

So welcome to the camps, young man
Feel free to wander around
Here is where you eat here is where you and sleep
And over there’s a picnic ground
Now stand in line for your green tattoo
With the date that you’ll drowned
And ground up into pretty mulch
That we sell to China by the pound

So
You, you, you are an Obama
You, you, you are an Obama
You, you, you are an Obama jeu

Sockpuppet - Sorry to Inform You
Thank you for your interest
We hope you will be fine
But we have decided
Your candidacy is not on the line

Your permanent record states
You were truant three times
And then the incident
Where you colored outside of the lines

Another record
Of which we are aware
A piece of gum that
You placed in Ms. Marshall's hair

We know you are thinking
It was so long ago
But you were warned about
Throwing a rock in a ball of snow

Your auditor noted
Good behavior for thirty years
But we strongly believe
Past actions will shape future careers

Due to these factors
We're sure you will agree
Your best course of action
A re-education facility

To: Braylon <xxxxxx>
From: Corey <xxxxxx>
Subject: dude, your girlfriend sheila
Date: April 27th, 2009 02:47:53 CST

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This message was sent from a blackberry device
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What's up dude?
How've things been?
I went to that party
With Steve and Ken

Meant to get wasted
But enlightened... with ZEN!
I know what they really mean
When they say your girl's a "ten"

Well I'm sorry to inform you
But Sheila's got a penis
Really I was tricked too
I totally didn't expect this!
Sorry to inform you
But your... chick's a... dude...

I really think you should dump her
Toss out those wedding plans
I don't think it's even legal
To marry another man...

Let's get some beers Friday night
Don't worry it's on me
She was a damn convincing transvestite
...at least from what I could see...

Sorry to inform you
But Sheila's got a penis
Really I was tricked too
I totally didn't expect this!
Sorry to inform you
But your... chick's a... dude...

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No viruses were found in this incoming message
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sorry to inform you (capo 3rd)

INTRO/RIFF: Em-D

VERSE 1 (Em-Em-Bm-A-G)
sorry to inform you, you are ejected
Your CD skips, you're misdirected
you need a fix, a normal fix
it gets you right, where it sticks

VERSE 2 (Em-Em-Bm-A-G)
sorry to inform you, it's terminal
you had a life, you lived it all
now chew on this, as you pass
your photo lens needs focus fast

VERSE 3 (Em-Em-Bm-A-G)
sorry to inform you, she's never gunna show
left at the alter, a sacrificial low
your dollars gone, your pride quite frail
it's time to learn, how to heal

BRIDGE
Em G
Sorry to Inform. Stop.
A Bm
Life is war torn. Stop.
look for the rays. Stop.
live in today. Stop.
C A Bm Em-G-A-Bm x2
give yourself a chance or lose all the bets
practice all your rants to lose in defense
prepare to destroy all that cling
s to

that's whatcha gotta do, whatcha gotta do

VERSE 4 (C-C-G-A)
pleased to inform you, we're landing soon
your luggage is stoed, the sky is blue
frailties wain, what can you do?
there's way too much, to self abuse

Sorry To Inform You by Jan Krüger

Dear world around me, dear people I've met
I realize what I have done has made you quite upset
I have considered carefully your position on the board
Unfortunately your demands will have to be ignored

I'm sorry to inform you that I won't live for you
Compliance and servility -- I'm sorry, no can do
My life's my own, my goals are mine, who are you to complain
Get your fingers out of my brain

Dear media, dear politics, dear economy, go hang
I will clear my own path, even if it takes all year
Go take your scientists and the rest of the gang
I don't need your help if all I'll get is a career

I'm willing to believe that you only want my best
But I don't think you know what that is
You're making all those shaky plans, I'm not really impressed
I'm living for the point that you miss

I'm sorry to inform you that I won't be pushed away
Won't accept floating anxiety you work for every day
My life's my own my goals are mine, who are you to disdain
Get your fingers out of my brain

Dollar Bill & the Inkpoints - "Sorry to Inform You"
Words & music by Heuristics Inc. & Johnny Cashpoint
Alien Vocals by Heuristics Inc.
Chorus vocals by Johnny Cashpoint

[Alien on loudspeaker]
Inhabitants of Earth, if you'd stop fighting for a moment
Your friends from Ursa Minor have a major news announcement -
By now we're sure you've realised humanity's unravelled
You still have some potential as a crossroads for space travel
We'd like to reconstruct you as a five star destination,
Hire accommodation for the urbane tourist spaceman.
Unparalleled as interstellar holiday vacation,
We think you'll all agree it's a win-win situation

CHORUS:
Sorry to inform you that it's had to come to this
But nothing can halt progress, that's just the way it is

Inhabitants of Earth, it's only right that we inform you
Of potential risky side-effects when we transform you
There's bound to be some damage during the conversion process
- and though of course we try to keep disruption at its lowest -
Natives might experience some short-term inconvenience.
We hope the finished product will be well worth any nuisance -
You'll thank us in the long run when the economy is thriving
From the opportunities space tourism's providing.

CHORUS

Inhabitants of Earth, we're very sorry to inform you
There's been some complications while we altered and reformed you
It's proving necessary to make some thorny choices.
Due to unforeseen demands on natural resources,
We must eradicate proportions of the population
Of course we will ensure survivors get some compensation
We hoped required percentages only meant a handful dead
But sadly it transpires the number's closer to one hundred.

CHORUS

1 2 3 1 2 3

I used to care what they all think
But they all drink
And no one thinks

I used to want to be the man
But no one can
Cause there's no man

I'm sorry to inform you
That everything's null
I'm sorry to inform you
That you're not special
I'm sorry to inform you
That it's not personal
They just don't care

Now I want to feel the hate
But there's no bait
To hook their hate

Human gears can't see or hear
My machine peers
They have no ears

I'm sorry to inform you
That everything's bull
I'm sorry to inform you
That no one's special
I'm sorry to inform you
That it's not personal
They just don't care

Terribly comfortable
Comfortably terrible
Terribly comforting
Comfortingly horrible

Let me go, let me go
Let me go, let me go
You're wasting my life

I'm sorry to inform you
We're out of Kool-Aid
I'm sorry to inform you
There's no grand masquerade
I'm sorry to inform you
That even if you paid
They just don't care