The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Schadenfreude
Tex Beaumont & the Dirty Hearts

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I know you will never see a greater pleasure
than watching misfortune fall on me
You have such fun, you're like the Road Runner
And I'm your Wylie E Coyote

Night after night you take sheer delight
in tales of my bad luck
You turn things around so they blow up in my face
You're Bugs Bunny, I'm your Daffy Duck

Wabbit Season
Duck Season
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Bang!
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Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!

You are really out of order
It is driving me to murder
It is time I turned around and took a tip from you
And got my own little taste of Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude - Paco del Stinko

When I saw you in the public square
All those people could only stop and stare
I laughed inside, while you cried
Then I walked over to you, held out my hand
When I helped you up I knew, you wouldn't understand
Up on your feet, you're mine to keep, mine to mistreat

Morose delectation
From your frustration
Please keep feeling bad

When I heard you sobbing on the telephone
I hid in the pantry and left you all alone
I laughed inside, while you cried
Then I walked over to you, gave an embrace
And you took it as true, when I stroked your face
I dried your tears, like all these years, so many fears

Morose delectation
From your frustration
Please keep feeling bad

Every time I get bad news you put your foot right on my neck
When I cry or get shit on my shoes you laugh at my little car wreck
Why do you get your kicks when I've got my face planted in the dirt?
I cry to you when I get licked but you always seem to chase my hurt

Because I love you
You love my pain
No, that just isn't true
You are insane
Please don't leave
Now it's my turn to laugh
But I'll only grieve
And it all comes back


Look at him cry, to my delight
I'll just savor the moment
As I say goodbye

Schadenfreude - Frankie Big Face

Waiter:
Every day you come in and you sit at my table
And flip through the menu as if you were able
To order anything but the same old dish
A BLT and the seafood bisque

Every night when I'm home I have the strangest sensation
I dream of the ways I can cause the cessation
Of your heart, your brain, your body, your soul.
Is it a fantasy or is it a goal?

And then one afternoon
I filled a tablespoon
With common household bleach
And poured it into your soup.

Customer:
Every day I come in and I sit at your table
Feeling like a frog in one of Aesop's fables
Blindly obsessed with a singular wish
To grab you and give you the biggest kiss.

So I place the same order 'cause I lack imagination
And wait for your return with rapt anticipation.
I want to be in your movie, have a starring role
But you only see me as a plate and a bowl.

I finally realized
While pulling wings off flies
That you were out of reach
And dropped one into my soup.

W: I want to kill you
C: I want to sue you.
Both: I'll get (W: my dog) (C: my lawyer)
B: To ruin you!
B: You've broken my heart for the very last time.

W: Every day I walk by and see the empty tables
C: Every night I sit home and eat boxed mashed potatoes
W: I need a new job and don't know where to look
C: I wish I could teach myself how to cook.

W. The only thing that promotes my healing
C. Is knowing that you are probably dealing
W: With mild infarction of your heart and spleen
C: With home foreclosure and a property lien

Both: If there's a God above
Show me the wisdom of
Your ways, I do beseech!
Should I maybe give up soup?

Schadenfreude
Words and Music by John Kloberdanz

Jesus said I should forgive
And always turn the other cheek
Love my neighbor as myself
The earth’s inherited by the meek
Bad things happen to everyone
There’s no difference, rich or poor
Today I’m feeling happy
Because, finally, thankfully,
You were thrown face-first out the door

Once you were my boss, those days are dead and gone
Acted like you were the king, and the rest of us your pawns
They packed up all your things, you’re on a permanent vacation
Now both of us are drinking, but for me it’s a celebration

No more timeshares
No country club
This is the real world
And you’re now a schlub

You drove me crazy
You were so lazy
Now you’re dirt
And I’m glad you hurt

Talked down to me in meetings, and made me feel like shit
Took credit for my work without even understanding it
Promotions, raises, bonuses, you thought it was your due
You got careless with the facts, and it all caught up with you

Gold-digger wife
Spoiled-rotten kids
It’s crashing down
You’re on the skids

You drove me crazy
You were so lazy
Now you’re dirt
And I’m glad you hurt

I know I should feel guilty for this happy mood I feel
Delighting in your pain, the truth has been revealed
You’d order surf and turf at places that were nice
Now you’ll be taking handouts, dining on beans and rice

No warning signs
You felt alright
You woke up fine
Unemployed tonight

You drove me crazy
You were so lazy
Now you’re dirt
And I’m glad you hurt

You’re a failure!

Shadenfreude
by Ross Durand

VERSE 1
There’s an angel on my shoulder
Tellin’ me what to do
Cause It’s kinda tuff since you’ve been gone
To know what to think of you
And I see your world fallin’ down around you
As you sink into harder times
Graspin at straws - Reaching out for a hand - and hopin’ it might be mine

CHORUS 1
And the angels says
Do unto others as you’d have them do to you
two wrongs don’t make a right - though you might wish they do
The path to heaven is paved in good deeds - that might not feel good to you
But do unto others like you’d want them to do for you

VERSE 2
Well the other shoulder’s got a devil
And he’s got opinions too
He’s seen first hand the pain you caused
and what you put me through
So maybe all your suffering Is just Karma
just getting what you deserve
And now you’re graspin at vines - sinkin in the quicksand - and I can just pretend I haven’t heard

CHORUS 2
Cause the devil says
Do unto others like they did unto you
Two wrongs don’t make a right - but they feel good to do
Now you know how it feels as well
So I’m just gonna sit and enjoy the show.... and I’ll see you in hell.

CHORUS 3 (with fading Angel voices)
Do unto others like they did unto you - (as you’d have them do to you)
Two wrongs don’t make a right - but they feel good to do -(though you might wish they do)
(The Path to Heaven) - Now you know how it feels as well
(Do unto others) - So I’m just gonna sit and enjoy the show.... and I’ll see you in hell.

Song Fight Song 078
Nur Ein IV Round Two
Schadenfreude
by Test Week Hiatus

The coefficient of friction (µ)
Is a very important variable
In the equation of our relationship
It’s directly proportional to
What we say and what we do
But it’s independent of
Our love

And when the µ is high
The whole equation cancels into a fight
We turns to you and I, x and y
Divisible by envy and pride

It’s all sturm und drang
In a schadenfreude spiral
Grab a rung and ride
The angular
Velocity down

An eigenvalue can only tell you
Direction or location, so
So make your calculations free from limitations
With that asymptote caught in your throat
You can only approach, but never encroach on
Turning secant into a “see, can”
Or a goddamn into a “yes, ma’am”

What was the fight about again?
Can you remember way back when
I think it was that you wanted me
But I wanted to watch TV
A classic confrontation

So, when the µ is high
The whole equation cancels into a fight
We turns to you and I, x and y
Multiplied by envy and pride

It’s all sturm und drang
In a schadenfreude spiral
Grab a rung and ride
The angular
Velocity down

Grab a rung and ride
The angular
Velocity down

© 2009 Weakest Suit Songs

I bet you never knew that it was you
that I was using for
my entertainment store
and when you're crawling on your knees
I love to hear you begging please

whenever you go down and hit the ground
I've always been around
to see what kind of pain you found
every time you choke and freeze
it makes me smile because you're not as good as me

but every once in a blue moon
it makes me feel like an asshole

but your pain
it calls out to me
it makes me believe
that I might be evil
your pain
feels so good to me
the drug that I need
and you give it to me

yeah, I laugh when I see you
doing a lip stand on the sidewalk,
but I hate myself for it, I really do

you bring out the worst in me
it's a side that I don't like to see
but your tears are a nectar so sweet
it's a precious joy that you give to me
every time you get cut and bleed
it's a beautiful thing to see

Howl Down the Chimney's Schadenfreude

The way to do it is knock them down
Then put your foot on their backs when they try to rise back up from the ground
Treat them like nothing, laugh in their face
Until they feel that under your thumb is their natural place

No no no no
I disagree
Schadenfreude is an artform to me
No no no no
I disagree
It's always a good day for profiteering

The way to do it is knock them down
Then offer your hand and help them up from the ground
Look sincere with your sympathies
And they'll forget that it happens week after week after week.

No no no no
I disagree
Schadenfreude is an artform to me
No no no no
I disagree
It's always a good day for profiteering

Schadenfreude by NP

I walked away
from your door
knowing you were trapped inside
with a vampire
fangs filled her grin
I just laughed the whole time
Your eyes open wide
Back to the floor
Hands stretched out on the wood
Sargeant, I feel that I should be locked up tight for good

But what you did was nothing criminal
Wrenching joy from life is natural
And though it sounds uncivilized
You'd be surprized

Schadenfreude

On one hand
I understand
That you think that I'm your friend
But I want you to know
That I'll run away again

It's not a mystery
and I know you can see
that I want you to leave
so go now

I'm happy when you're sad
I'm happy when you're sad
Don't make me turn away
Cause I'll never do that
I'm happy when you're sad
I'm happy when you're sad
Don't look at me that way
Cause I'll never feel bad

On one hand
I understand
That you think I'm a man
who wanted you to show
a kind and caring hand

But I need you to see
that you'll never reach me
and I want you to leave
so go now

(chorus)

I don't wanna be mean
but when you're saying things
wanna spit you out like listerine
and when I'm done with this
I'll let you make a wish
cause you know I see what others miss
Then I'll find a wishing well
and and bring along my pail
and steal coins and go straight to your hell
or jail
but I won't lose my hair
Cause I won't have a care
Cause I'll never have to see you while I'm stuck in there

"Schadenfreude"
by Jon Eric

There was a man who used to love you to death
But lately he's been out of touch
Nowadays, he barely sees you at all
It's hard to think he likes you much

He picked his path
The money came, the money went
And lately you've been feeling like you're trapped out here
He slept around
You know he did, and now you think, there's
nothing holding you to him but twenty-two years

[chorus:]
His fancy little dancer that you could have been yourself
The lancing little answers that he gave to someone else
The rancid fucking cancer that's been eating at his health
You call it schadenfreude


But then again... he never asked to be sick
He needs you now to stay with him
And you're aware that he won't last very long
You probably ought to stay till then

'Cause after all,
You never showed him much attention
Influential people can get lonely too
And if you stay
And keep a watchful eye on him
There's a chance he might fall back in love with you

[chorus, solo, chorus]

Schadenfreude
by WreckdoM

I'm laughing up a storm on another shiny day,
Walking through my neighborhood and seeing things on the way.
There's an old lady with grocery bags, dropped her milk and eggs,
In this darkened alleyway is a puppy with a broken leg.

A couple is fighting and soon it leads to blows,
A hobo is groveling with snot pouring down his nose.
Maybe I'll see a car crash right here in the street,
Watch some folks as their house burns down, now, wouldn't that be neat?

You call it tragedy,
I call it comedy,
You say it's insanity,
But is there such a thing?

You say it's disastrous,
But I think it's fabulous,
You call me blasphemous,
But is there such a thing?

I think about the plight of nations overseas,
Riddled with violence, poverty and disease.
It helps me sleep at night knowing someone's getting killed,
Or maybe a suicide on a pile of unpaid bills.

There's nothing wrong with seeing misery upside down,
It's like an erection on a circus clown.
I know folks might think it's gross and turn their heads and scoff,
But in the end we'll all be dead so which one's better off?

You call it tragedy,
I call it comedy,
You say it's insanity,
But is there such a thing?

You say it's disastrous,
But I think it's fabulous,
You call me blasphemous,
But is there such a thing?

Cock - Schadenfreude

Why do you look at me
like I'm some kind of monster
When you're the one
who left me here alone

I never saw this coming
I just could not believe
I never knew what hit me
until I was on my knees

And now I wonder
if you get a certain pleasure
from watching as my life
falls apart

I know you look at me
because I am a monster
Driven you so far away
from your love for me

I never saw this coming
I just could not believe
I never knew what hit me
until I was on my knees