The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Cute little magnets with cartoon characters or smiley faces might make the harsh words sting less?

Holy crap, that was fast! Thank you beaucoup to the Fight Masters for breaking a world-speed record for posting the new tunes after they were due.

Right, now, I need to listen and review...

Gilles Roger - I like the melody; if the range of the piano's notes was larger, this would sound better, so it would fit with your vocal performance which calls for a more expressive piano part. Melody reminds me of something...

Beerland Security - Solid. Convincing performance.

Dutova - I like the chorus. The guitar riff gets repetitive, though. Singing is also good.

Ethrikios - This is pro. The singer's voice reminds me of the Age of Electric guy a little in the chorus (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtG4FfXB7zk) but maybe that's just a personal association. Guitar parts work together nicely.

Ford's Theater Disaster - I think the vocal fx fits well. The change into the heavier part after the mellower part is nice.

Hijack and the Requests - The "Framed" backup vocal could be layered or something. Rapping part is hard to hear volume wise. Bass is crazy.

masterhyde - I like the voice. I think after the chorus, that second verse is more interesting delivery wise (good stuff like "the prestige on the wall").

Paco del Stinko - Structure is interesting. Great all around.

A Parliament of Owls - Takes a little bit for it to get going for me, but the part 1:30 around sounds good. Good atmosphere that part (harmony, with the high whistling thing)

Pathetic Wannabees Vocal delivery in beginning makes me imagine a guy running in a room every few seconds to yell out what he needs to, then immediately leaving (good thing).

Scomber with Alex and Leaza - I dunno how I feel about the scat singing in the middle, maybe if there was some vocal effect on it like reverb or something...it is sung well, though.

Signboy - I like how the chorus stands to the verse; it's an interesting change. Arrangement is aggressive: nice.

Steve Durand - The counterpoint in the "whether plastic, wood, or steel" part in the instruments is great. I like the horns entering later in the piano; ending heh.

Weakest Suit - I wasn't much for the lyrics in the beginning (after the first stanza it's fine) but I do like the melody. I like the "cropped, matted..." part also.

Zinkline - Could the vocals be brought a little more in the mix? I like the end chorus vocal harmony/group thing.

deetak wrote:Gilles Roger - I like the melody; if the range of the piano's notes was larger, this would sound better, so it would fit with your vocal performance which calls for a more expressive piano part. Melody reminds me of something...

Beerland Security - Solid. Convincing performance.

Dutova - I like the chorus. The guitar riff gets repetitive, though. Singing is also good.

Ethrikios - This is pro. The singer's voice reminds me of the Age of Electric guy a little in the chorus (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtG4FfXB7zk) but maybe that's just a personal association. Guitar parts work together nicely.

Ford's Theater Disaster - I think the vocal fx fits well. The change into the heavier part after the mellower part is nice.

Hijack and the Requests - The "Framed" backup vocal could be layered or something. Rapping part is hard to hear volume wise. Bass is crazy.

masterhyde - I like the voice. I think after the chorus, that second verse is more interesting delivery wise (good stuff like "the prestige on the wall").

Paco del Stinko - Structure is interesting. Great all around.

A Parliament of Owls - Takes a little bit for it to get going for me, but the part 1:30 around sounds good. Good atmosphere that part (harmony, with the high whistling thing)

Pathetic Wannabees Vocal delivery in beginning makes me imagine a guy running in a room every few seconds to yell out what he needs to, then immediately leaving (good thing).

Scomber with Alex and Leaza - I dunno how I feel about the scat singing in the middle, maybe if there was some vocal effect on it like reverb or something...it is sung well, though.

Signboy - I like how the chorus stands to the verse; it's an interesting change. Arrangement is aggressive: nice.

Steve Durand - The counterpoint in the "whether plastic, wood, or steel" part in the instruments is great. I like the horns entering later in the piano; ending heh.

Weakest Suit - I wasn't much for the lyrics in the beginning (after the first stanza it's fine) but I do like the melody. I like the "cropped, matted..." part also.

Zinkline - Could the vocals be brought a little more in the mix? I like the end chorus vocal harmony/group thing.

Thanks mate, great feedback. I just started teaching myself piano a week and a half ago, and there's some great talent here at Songfight, so I'm flattered by your comments. I will try to play it with more feeling as you suggest and I'll see if I can mix it so the piano sounds wider.
Cheers

2dogs wrote:

deetak wrote:

I understand you're new at this, so -- a bit of advice, it is possible to edit quoted material to only quote the part you are replying to... (we're trying to stay "green" here -- don't want to fill up the internet!)

Listened in random order, posted alphabetically for simplicity:

2 dogs - The melody's pretty enough, but the lyrics aren't impressing me. The singing is off-key in spots, too.

Beerland Security - For those of you keeping track, this is me on vocals/bass/guitar and Eric Y. on the drums. Once I had the seed of an idea, this song damn near wrote itself. I was very happy to have a collaborator on this one, because this song desperately needed real drums. All in all, I found the collaboration process to be very enjoyable, and I hope to do it again in the future.

DuToVa - I'd like to hear either more variation or less length. It's very pleasant to listen to, but it loses me after a while.

Ethrikios - Not really my thing, but this is pretty slick. I'd shorten the ending a bit.

Ford's Theater Disaster - I like the words - I'm a fan of lyrics that give you some room for interpretation. The vocal effects are a bit heavy-handed to my ear, but the rest of the instrumentation sounds pretty good.

Hijack and the Requests - Interesting little ditty. I can't understand a lot of the words, they could use a little boost in the mix.

Masterhyde - It's got a good groove, but it could use a few more changes in the structure to keep it interesting.

Scomber - Are you a Machines of Loving Grace fan, by chance? It's really got that feel to it (which is a good thing). The vocal performance seems a bit lifeless to me, though.

Signboy - I really like this. Everything works well together. The vocal treatment in the intro feels a little off to me, but I'm not really sure what could be done to improve it.

Steve Durand - It sounds good to my ears and I like the lyrics. Your music tends to be way outside of any frame of reference I have, which makes it really hard for me to offer any constructive advice.

Paco del Stinko - A bit generic. Well-produced, as usual.

A Parliament of Owls - I can't understand a word of this. I think the vocal tracks need more separation in the mix.

Pathetic Wannabees - Your music is always interesting. Nearly unlistenable, but interesting.

The Weakest Suit - You're probably getting tired of hearing this, but it's very hard to impress me with G&G. This is another song of yours that would probably sound really good with a full band, but as it is...eh.

Zinkline - I like the little keyboard touches. I think I'd like the guitar to be a bit dirtier sounding. It's not terribly adventurous, but it sounds good.

Signboy's review of Steve Durand's song

The first run through, I'm having a hard time laying genre bias aside. It sounds like it was intended for kids, not the overall SF audience. Which, I suspect, is fine by you if not the main intention. What strikes me the second time through is that this song is all over the genre map. Not a bad thing at all, in fact I'm impressed. There's this overall feel of dixie jazz, but the uke throws that out the window. Then the choir feeling bit at the end (which is really well done) combined with the gospel organ... I don't know. The lyrics fit the music really well. it's got an authentic feel to it. No doubt enhanced by the use of real instruments. The only things that bring this down in my opinion are
1: the vocal delivery- this song is absolutely screaming for some solo barbershop/broadway vox.
2: lack of any drums- more screaming
Other than that, this gets better the more I hear it. Great playing, quirky but fitting lyrics, 5/16 of a full genre pilgrimage without feeling tacked together, and a well written melody.
Good job, Steve.

deetak wrote:a guy running in a room every few seconds to yell out what he needs to, then immediately leaving

The funny thing is, you probably aren't too far off.
(See Also: http://www.workshop3d.com/octo/MahNaMahNa.mp3)



In other news... After a couple of listens, I'm kind of glad to have the new multiple-votes thing, because I'd sure have a tough time picking just one of these. Nice stuff all around. I hope to have something slightly more verbose written out by the end of the week, so stay tuned.

quite a few 2 and half minute rockers this time around, eh?

2 Dogs
--- warbly vox ---
/// lacks a hook ///

Beerland Security
+++ foot-tapper +++
+++ garage-rock sound +++
--- solo should be tighter ---

DuToVa
/// odd syncopation in the drums; seems to follow the guit rhytm rather than lay the basic beat of the tune ///
+++ aural tones (guit effects, vox treatment, etc.) +++
--- overly long: needs more variation (instrumentation, replace the third verse with a bridge/outro) ---

Ethrikios - vote for the rock
+++ jangly guit +++
--- too much reverb on the vox --- </hypocrisy: i mask my vox, too>
+++ chorus +++

Ford's Theater Disaster - vote for ego
+++ dynamics +++
/// could be faster ///
--- yeah, the vox are saturated with effects to compensate for my self-consciousness about my singing ---
+++ i'm really happy with how the bass came out; it's hard getting a snyth to sound right in this rock song context +++

Hijack & the Requests
--- less a song than an impromptu scat; seems like a bridge song/spoken word thing in the middle of an album ---

Masterhyde
+++ groove +++
+++ prosody +++
/// could use some more variation to pique/hold the listener's interest ///

Paco del Stinko
/// hook is good, but seems familiar ///
+++ snarl +++
/// i'd layer some more guitars in the chorus to give it more heft ///

A Parliament of Owls
+++ build +++
/// maybe too loose for its own good ///
+++ vox float disturbingly +++

Pathetic Wannabees - vote for oddity but still a great groove at its heart
--- why is the band playing in the bathroom at the back of the house? ---
+++ lyrics; i'm going to cover this +++

Scomber
--- casio-core ---
--- vox seem entirely separate from the music ---
--- vocal delivery lacks prosody ---
/// those heavier guitars, buried in the chorus mix? bring them way the fuck up, give them some low end and plaster the whole part with a thundering drum beat ///

Signboy - vote for the RAWK!
+++ channels Jesus and Mary Chain +++
/// chorus vox are too tentative: belt that! ///
/// for the last bar or two between the solo and the last chorus, I'd drop everything except the solo and give a great riff there just for some punch ///

Steve Durand - vote for wit
+++ lyrics: a perfectly snide little look at contemporary materialism +++
/// the ending choir and organ bit strikes me as too much; the listener (or at least this one) needs either more build up to it, or just leave it alone and let the really great parting shot stand on its own ///

The Weakest Suit
--- are you playing in the same bathroom as the Pathetic Wannabees? ---
+++ lyrics +++
--- the end of the each line should have more punch rather than the warble you're putting on it ---
/// I'd like to hear this with a fuller arrangement ///

Zinkline - vote for a good song despite a sub-par mix
/// this mix needs to be cleaned up: pan those guitars full left and right; EQ everything so the tones don't overlap and lose or tighten up the doubled vox (which you might then need to pull up in the mix) ///
+++ that high-pitch synth line is a nice touch, but lose it (or pull it down) in the chorus +++
+++ solo! +++

Ethrikios, is that you Stateshirt?

My first time here, so here's my 2 cents worth

2 dogs - I Like the piano, but needs some more instruments to build the piece as it rolls on, string section?

Beerland Security - Great schoolboy garage sound, lots of agst in the vox well supported by the post punk guitar sound. Gets my vote ++++

DuToVa - Good catchy tune, bit long though.

Ethrikios - Heaps of energy well implemented +

Ford's Theater Disaster - Don't really like the effect on the vocal, but I can see where you were heading with this.

Hijack and the Requests - Nice sparse groove, I like the vocal but agree with the other reviews that it needs to be up front and centre.

Masterhyde - Great laidback rapping. Anyone who criticizes the lack of variety in the backing misses the point of this genre, focuses on the words and delivery.

Scomber - I was tempted to compress the hell out of the vocals and load up the effects but tried to keep the vox disconnected and in its own "frame".

Signboy -Blows my ears off (thats a good thing) Love the dirty synth ++++

Steve Durand - Sort of like Beatles on Sesame Street. Works well and keeps me listening.

Paco del Stinko - Slick but at times predictable Great sound.

A Parliament of Owls -I like the atmosphere, I too can't understand the vox..nice harmony work though

Pathetic Wannabees - Psycho. I'll send the rubber van and a fashionable jacket that does up from the back.

The Weakest Suit - Good ideas, it seems that you are far away.

Zinkline - Nice pop/rock cool gtr and keyboard hook works well. Memorable.

Ethrikios - Really enjoyed your song and would love to hear more. Any other music on-line? Also curious about what your band name means.

Thanks,
Va of DuToVa
dtv.reunion@gmail.com
http://www.myspace.com/dutova

After giving all of these several spins over the past several days, here's what I think.

2 dogs - first of all, regarding the woman in the song -- to quote the Beasties, "She's Crafty". Interesting story, and you have constructed a very catchy chorus: yesterday morning I woke up and found it stuck in my head. The piano part is not bad although I definitely get the vibe you are not primarily a pianist (it reminds me of an Eddiebangs song that is similarly based around a repetitive piano riff, don't recall which one off the top of my head but maybe "Brown Boxes"?) Furthermore, while the singing is also not bad, I suspect you are secretly a better singer when nobody is listening? The vocals feel a little bit restrained to me.

Beerland Security - Sounds like this was a fun song to play/record.
First several dozen times I heard this there were no vocals, so I just thought it was a cool little punkish ditty with an unusual guitar solo thrown in (not that the solo itself is unusual... nevermind). If these vocals had been there earlier, the drum part might have turned out somewhat different because now I can't get rid of the mental image of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 theme song. Sounds really good though, and I'm proud to have participated.

Dutova - in my opinion, the best song of a pretty good bunch of songs. The hook, the chorus, the guitar line -- this whole song has been in my head almost nonstop all week. I see you recently posted your lyrics, but the meaning is still a little bit left to the imagination, which is good because I want to imagine that behind all this pretty singing there's a dark little story behind it. Please don't ruin it for me by telling me I'm wrong. Definite highlight of the song is the instrumental breakdown bit right near 3:00 where it goes into those minor and/or diminished chords in the background. Nice.

Ethrikios - I think I like the introduction better than the rest of the song, though the whole thing is done well enough. Has a real good Cheap Trick/ random-other-Post-Beatles-band feeling; sounds great.

Ford's Theater Disaster - Pretty good song overall, no complaints, but I must say I am absolutely loving the backwards-masked Syd Barrett guitar leads (I believe "Dominoes" is the song I'm reminded of) -- great stuff.

Hijack + The Requests - Can't say much about this, because since I was hardly able to pick out any of the talking over the bassline, I probably missed the point of this song entirely.

Master Hyde - Very smooth, very hooky, excellent mixing and production work. The repetition of the title during the chorus reminds me of the 'Homer Simpson would say...' bit in The Def Author's "Mumbo Jumbo". Only smoother. Very smooooooth.

Paco del Stinko - Well produced and performed; instrumentally I can really dig this. However, the lyrics really turn me off. Lyrics are approximately dead last in my list of elements of songs I pay attention to, so for me to take note of them they have to be exceptionally good or exceptionally bad. Something about the words here really rubs me the wrong way, and I can't say for sure why that is.

Parliament of Owls - sounds pretty sweet, mostly, and the combination of instruments is fairly inventive. The layering of vocal parts is especially nice and adds a lot to the song, but may add too much-- literally. Just under a minute in, the vocals start to overload and this goes on most of the rest of the way, sporadically. Kind of makes it hard to listen to.

Pathetic Wannabees - The rushed rhythm that accompanies the vocal delivery during the verses is really cool. The contrast created between those bits and the straight-up bluesy style in between really makes the song. Good stuff.

Scomber - Can't say I understand how being framed is "better than being blamed", or even that there is a distinction between the two. The female vocals throughout are a nice touch, especially near the end where they are paired with that guitar lead section.

Sign Boy - A fairly well-done, and enjoyable, but not altogether very remarkable, example of industrial-pop. It was going fine until that sudden fade at the end, which was pretty weak.

Steve Durand - Pretty inventive instrumentation here, verging on "cute" but I think saying that would diminish the quality of the song. Seems like you enjoy playing with panning -- this is all over the place, stereo-wise. (Not a complaint). Some clever bits of words here, especially "give your junk some elegance". I like your clarinet part, I think those are criminally underused in modern music (with perhaps the exception of "When I'm Sixty-four").

Weakest Suit - Some of the chord structure here reminds me of that song "Brainville" by the Flaming Lips. Lyrically this sounds a bit more They Might Be Giants. A well-written song, although it sounds kind of hollow and empty. A lot can be done with just a guitar and vocals, but I'm not sure this arrangement is enough to carry the song on its own. It probably doesn't help that the whole thing sounds so distant...

Zinkline - There's this one specific place in the song, the little mishmash of voices after you say "anyone's guess", where I'm reminded of some song by the Cure (I think it might be "Catch" I am thinking of, but I can't be sure). All the rest of this sounds really good too; I've got half my brain arguing that this sounds exactly like something I've heard before but I can't put my finger on it, but possibly it's just such a well-crafted poppy song that it just feels instantly familiar. For now I will give you the benefit of the doubt and say, well done.

Eric Y. wrote:the backwards-masked Syd Barrett guitar leads (I believe "Dominoes" is the song I'm reminded of)

Having never really listened to his stuff (I'm a Gilmour-era fan of Pink Floyd), I find it pretty cool that I've stumbled right upon Barret's technique for those sounds: a Zippo lighter over the strings and then loop it backwards. I'm going to have look at more of the weird things he did; sounds like fodder for XTRG stuff.

And "Dominoes" it is :

[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qiDN90JWxRc&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qiDN90JWxRc&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

nyjm wrote:

Eric Y. wrote:tI'm going to have look at more of the weird things he did; sounds like fodder for XTRG stuff.

Definitely. I get a similar vibe in xtrg to some of the old Floyd stuff.
-bill

[quote="Eric Y."] 2 dogs - first of all, regarding the woman in the song -- to quote the Beasties, "She's Crafty". Interesting story, and you have constructed a very catchy chorus: yesterday morning I woke up and found it stuck in my head. The piano part is not bad although I definitely get the vibe you are not primarily a pianist (it reminds me of an Eddiebangs song that is similarly based around a repetitive piano riff, don't recall which one off the top of my head but maybe "Brown Boxes"?) Furthermore, while the singing is also not bad, I suspect you are secretly a better singer when nobody is listening? The vocals feel a little bit restrained to me.

Thanks for the feedback Eric. As I sang and improvised this tune I was thinking of creating a dramatic story with a fun twist rather than aiming for a strong hook. Totally improvised in one take. Piano wise. Again a one take improvised deal. I'm a sax player usually and I've been playing piano for about a week and a half, so this was a stretch. But for only one take, well you get what you pay for huh!!! . I debated whether to post it, but what the heck its for fun. There's a lot more to do on this tune to build up to the chorus and to widen the melody but I didn't have time. The pitch on the vocals needs work too, I could've let loose to avoid the warbliness and the piano should have been more emotional. Great observations from everyone here. All of them are bang on.

And you're right that bitch with the sweet sweet lips is crafty indeed. I figure that if my wife was to put the knowledge of all those murder mysteries she's read I'd be living this alternate reality or I'd be buried in the backyard somewhere Hopefully next time I won't be short on time and I'll do a proper job. Cheers and thank you.

hey, congrats scomber!

Yep, hats off to Scomber. Boy, did I fall off a cliff this week, though! Thanks to my voter but what happened, did you hit the wrong button?

Congrats Scomper. Nicely done.

Better late than never! Reve and I recorded this song for the Framed fight, but didn't get it in on time. Chthauhaus - Framed

Wow, nice tune UJ. The mixing is excellent and I like where everything sits. Great beat, nice blend of instruments. An overall good job. Tks for posting it.