The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Do ya feel like the World's Greatest Dad? Well do ya...PUNK?!

World's Greatest Dad
(c)2009 Pathetic Wannabees

I don't know the words to say "mah fuv woo"
Yet I dig the pygmy more than I can say
But Lord it leaves me cold and empty
like arctic nights unpunctured by the day

[chorus]
I'm the world's greatest dad
it says so on my shirt
I'll long be remembered
When I'm sleeping in the dirt

It's a song without a chorus
poetry sans refrain
pugilism without punches
tracks without a train

[chorus - in Chinese*]
I'm the world's greatest dad
it says so on my shirt
I'll long be remembered
When I'm sleeping in the dirt

From a thousand music nerds
pasty basement beings
living-with-mother geeks
and maybe 2 lez
be
ins

[chorus - in German*]
I'm the world's greatest dad
it says so on my shirt
I'll long be remembered
When I'm sleeping in the dirt

So I'll walk into the sunset
stoically accept my lot
I'll leave you only verses
title it has not

[chorus - in Spanish*]
I'm the world's greatest dad
it says so on my shirt
I'll long be remembered
When I'm sleeping in the dirt

(*sort of...)

Song Fight Song 083
World’s Greatest Dad
(all choruses in English)

I let Hallmark speak for me
Because they word it infinitely better than I can
Especially when it’s man to man

Because most guys get shy
When they’re standing eye to eye, they just can’t...
So they lick the stamp

You know
I’m who I am, because you’re who you are
It’s just as simple as that
And someday I’ll stand where you stand
I hope to be just like the World’s Greatest Dad

I let the coffee mug speak for me
The three words succinctly say it better than I can
Man to man

So I’ll just let it be
Let you sip your coffee, with those words in your hands
That came from my hands

You know
I’m who I am, because you’re who you are
It’s just as simple as that
And someday I’ll stand where you stand
I hope to be just like the World’s Greatest Dad

© 2009 Weakest Suit Songs

World's Greatest Dad - Paco del Stinko

Momma said I have your smile
but she ain't told me in a while
She also said that for six hundred miles
there are many women you've beguiled

World's greatest dad
Best one I never had
He ain't never comin' back

If planting seeds makes you a father
there ain't no-one that tries harder
As soon as the new life has started
you give it up and discard it

World's greatest dad
Best one I never had
He ain't never comin' back

Sometimes when I lie in bed
I wonder whatever happened to you
Was it something I did or I said
Could it be all the stuff that momma said was true?

As I stand here all alone
wondering just what makes you roam
I hear that old familiar tone
of the ringing of the telephone
"Hello, you must be my son"
I nearly dropped dead from the stun
"I need money can you get me some?"
And it was all over before it had begun

World's greatest dad
Best one I never had
He ain't never comin' back

World's Greatest Dad
Ford's Theater Disaster

We are the ones that you envy
You are the ones we spit upon
It's no use to ask our number
You can't afford the face we put on
We drive all the best cars
We wear all the right clothes
But at home it all vodka martinis, Valium,
& Dad's used up lines of coke

We've got the world's greatest dads
We've got the world's sluttiest moms
They're the ones that you see on Real Housewives
They're the ones that leave us alone

We could buy all of your pity
Fuck off with your saving grace
We've got all that we could ever ask for
We've all ready won the rat race
You can keep your common dreams
You can keep your Wal-Mart shoes
We've got our Gucci handbags
Paparazzi, fame and entertainment news

We've got the world's greatest dads
We've got the world's sluttiest moms
They're the ones that you see on Real Housewives
They're the ones that leave us alone

It's a hollow way
To stay safe

We've got the world's greatest dads
We've got the world's sluttiest moms
They're the ones that you see on Real Housewives
They're the ones that leave us alone

World's Greatest Dad


By Steve Durand


Down at the park
One fine day in July
I spied a young father
As he shuffled by

Pushing a stroller
With two tots inside
He seemed to have lost
All the spring from his stride

He came over and sat
On the bench next to me
And stared at his coffee cup
self consciously

Then finally he turned
And he said "I'm so glad
to see that your shirt says
The World's Greatest Dad'"

That's quite an honor
I'm awfully impressed
Out of billions of fathers
That you are the best

I've got to admit
That it's giving me chills
To ponder your prodigious
Parenting skills

I fear with my children
I'm courting disaster
And I'd like to learn
At the feet of a master

Please teach me the secret
If it can be had
Of how you became
The world's greatest dad

Well I couldn't tell
If he was quite serious
Or if lack of sleep
Had made him delirious

Still I responded
The best that I can

You've got to capture
The hearts of the judges
There are no shortcuts
There's no way to fudge it

Feed them and keep a roof
Over their heads
Sing them a song
When you put them to bed

Go to their concerts
And sporting events
Help with their homework
Until it makes sense

Read them the stories
That they like the most
And you'll win a prize
Of which you can boast

You'll be the one
Who they always run to first
You'll be the hub
Of their little universe

It doesn't get any better
Than that

Based on my comments
You may have divined
The key is the way
The word "World" is defined

So just do your best
With the kids that you have
And you, too will be
The world's greatest dad

A couple people has asked for it, so here goes...

I lift my eyes up
to the heavens
and you are waiting there
like I knew you would
and when you hold me
in your arms
I feel so safe
and I know it's good

You died for me so I will live for you
and I can see that everything you do
was meant to be for my good
cuz you're the world's greatest dad!

and I will praise you
with all I have
for who you are
you are my God
and even Mike Lamb
will have to rock out
in your name
when I sing this song

You died for me so I will live for you
and I can see that everything you do
was meant to be for my good
cuz you're the world's greatest dad!

(put your hands together for Jahweh!)