The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Deadline in about an hour. Just figured I'd jump the gun.

Review away, once the songs are posted.

why can't we review before the songs are posted just to see who comes closer?

Well, thanks to some insider (read: Facebook) information, I can do one review, at least...

Cock - Characteristically dark 80s synth-pop, and surgically clean-sounding, as usual. That'll get you pretty far any week, even with a pretty weak song, but you don't generally do those. This has some good lyrics, but I wonder if the melody doesn't wander a little too much. I'm thinking of your "Back to the Well" on this one, which won in large part due to its really catchy "broken man" hook. Here I don't hear any similarly-catchy element, nor even any part that repeats enough to dig in, but then again, it might take multiple listens before it sinks in. And, as I mentioned before, your sound is flawless, which does invite repeated listens. Probable vote, though I'd need to hear the rest of the entires before I can say for sure.

Wow, that was a lot of homophones.


Here's another one!

The Affirmative Mention - The recording is reasonably tight. No instrument is too overpowering (maaaaaaaybe the vocals in some spots), and the keys fit in just right. In fact, without the keys, it wouldn't sound active enough. They help fill in the spaces in between the phrases of the song. My main complaint here is that the verse melody feels too vampy. The longer it goes, the more convinced I am that you didn't actually write a verse melody; it sounds like you just made it up as you went along and tried to make your rambly words fit the music. You know what, though, Phil? As a vocalist, you've come a really long way in your time here at Songfight. Your voice can carry a rock song. I just wish you'd restrain your lyrics to a melody. In the end, my complaint with this song is the same as Cock's: it doesn't have any one particular part for me to come back for. A hook, a catchy melody, a profound lyric. This kind of washes over me and then it's gone.

I could provide my song early but that would only make it even more disappointing than it already is.

fluffy wrote:I could provide my song early but that would only make it even more disappointing than it already is.

Man, you certainly know how to create anticipation.

Lennon wept. I just got a friendly day-later Delivery Delay message from google's mailservers mentioning MX record problems at songfight.com.

Dot com. I am incompetent. Forwarded it on with abject apologies to the .org fightmaster with what was hopefully a dignified minimum of puppydog eyes, but man. Man oh man.

Given that the fight hasn't posted yet, and given what I know about Fightmaster, I'd say you probably don't need to worry too much. Just be awesome.

Well, they do have a "late entries" section now, so you might have to go there for your first fight. You should still get some comments, though, and get to listen to what everybody else did with the title...

FYI We submitted the aforementioned mix including keys. We're unsure if the keys are good or distracting. If I can get a mix w/o, I'll post it separately.

ALSO, I already know the vocals aren't perfect. I did a single take and they said it was good, but upon several listens, I know I missed some marks and I know the tone of my voice could be better. It would probably help if I didn't drink 4 beers before recording.

I won't ask forgiveness for the vocals, but I would like some consideration from those who think the keys are wrong for the song. Um, yeah.

EDIT: The keys are very well played, BTW. It's just that we were going for something edgier and they make it more pop-y. And while we're at it, here is the shout out to the members of our group, "The Affirmative Mention". It includes Eric Hoglen, Tof Hoglen, Thom Hoglen, and yours truly. Read the ID3 tags, that's why I tag 'em.

upon further review of my own song I have come to the conclusion that although it sounds alot nicer than my first entry the intro to actual song ratio is way to high. My bad. I'll work on that next time

Who_Izzy wrote:upon further review of my own song I have come to the conclusion that although it sounds alot nicer than my first entry the intro to actual song ratio is way to high. My bad. I'll work on that next time

We rarely learn from our successes. Izzy, I haven't heard your music yet, but I definitely appreciate your candor.

Generic wrote:

Who_Izzy wrote:upon further review of my own song I have come to the conclusion that although it sounds alot nicer than my first entry the intro to actual song ratio is way to high. My bad. I'll work on that next time

We rarely learn from our successes. Izzy, I haven't heard your music yet, but I definitely appreciate your candor.

me too. Shaun has always been such a great bird...oh you said candor. Thank you.

and please, call me who(to avoid confusion )

The Affirmative Mention- Wow Wages! That’s definitely Wages. The music sounds great! Who’s in the cast for this? Ah, the Hoglen brothers. I remember them being significant improvers. Yeah, I like this a lot. The piano is the best part. The vocal melody works well for the verses, but the chorus is not very catchy.

Bella D’s Melodies- “Daddy I want to record a song”. I threw down some silly drum machine bits. Then Annabella improvised (vocals) over the drums. We went through it about 4 times. I lifted my favorite bits, threw it together. Then I added guitar and bass based on her melodies. This entry is hopefully a cute novelty entry, it’s not gunning for the win.

Berkeley Social Scene- I’m not objective about this song. I just love it. It’s super nice to have Ryan on this track. He’s singing better than ever. How is it 8 years went by since the last time we were in a band together? Martyrs backing vocals are awesome. The drums sound fantastic, and Ken is solid as ever! It was nice to break our usual structure and allow some space, we let the song be 5:01, it feels short to me.

Cock- Here’s a guy who can sing. Never an issue with vocals or the melody. The verse is catchy the chorus is very catchy. I like the big goth synth. I’m not so enamored with the drum machine, but it’s okay. Vote.

Hatenoise- The music and samples are pretty cool actually. The “rapping” over the music, is fucking terrible. It’s totally devoid of wit, cleverness, or even a damn hook to grab on to. My mind is yelling “SHUT UP” for nearly the entire track. Why don’t I skip ahead? I really dig the background music.

Jon Eric & Manhatton Glutton- I wish I could turn down the vibrato on your vocal delivery. I really like the melodies a lot! All the playing is great! Excellent dynamics! The mix is fantastic, that must be Manhatton mixing. I really dislike the lyrics. I wish I couldn’t understand them, cliché drivel. There’s some awkward drum patterns there, that scream “I’m a drum machine not a drummer”. Tough to decide whether the melody, piano, backing-vocals and mix carry this to a vote despite the lyrics and drums.

King Arthur- The mix is terrible. You must fix that hissy crackle atop the guitar. I like the Robert Plant 1989 “Now and Zen” guitar patch. This is a well written song, with stellar singing. I just hate the mix, and I don’t care for the keys timbre. The drum machine I understand is necessary, but of course a live tight drummer would elevate this enormously.

Lord of Oats- I’m always excited to hear your tracks. There’s always something brilliant mixed in with something questionable. Usually it’s a minute too long. This fits the pattern. If I were tweak this I would make the verses a little shorter, or make the verse melody more dynamic. I’m enjoying the robotic synth solo. I enjoy these fake drums, they fit the genre. I’m thinking about a vote for this guy too. It’s good.

MC Who Izzy- The question is Why? Terribly long and boring intro all to lead up to this even more boring no flow rap. No thanks.

New Result- The lead high pitched synth is way too high in the mix. For this genre I want much more prominent drums and bass. Oh this isn’t a song. There are no where near enough melodic ideas to fill 3:00. This should be about 90 seconds. I’m sick of Stephen Hawkings vocals too. Needs more ideas or less time or a combination of both.

Pillar of Paprika- Weakest Suit? I dig the vocals a lot. The chords and melody are very Love and Rockets. Along with the spinkles of sax patch. I really hate the sound of the tom fills, other than that I really like this song. Well done!

Queef McBeef- Remember that show “The Greatest American Hero”? This is how the aliens communicated with the protagonist. They’d flip the radio dial to pick up words to craft a new sentence. This is very fascinating in your track. I fear how much work it may have been. Anyway it’s a very cool and effective gimmick.

Nameless- Asshole! This is not listenable. Maybe the worst mix I’ve ever heard. If I turn it way down, I can hear a pretty damn good pop rock song. Your vocals sound good too. It has a very Superdrag kind of feel. Cool song, please put some minimal effort into recording next time. I’m still pissed at you.

Riot Nrrds- Recorded in an EMI field. This mix is horrible too. That hiss is very distracting. Why is the only instrument in my left ear? Wow, this is banal. Not bad singing, just terrible recording. I’m bored.

Sockpuppet- Meta song violation. However, someone had to record this song with this title. Thank you Fluffy!

Steve Durand- Whew! Finally, there is some nice production. Nice playing. This is a cute song. The music reminds me of Camper Van Beethoven. Well written song. Yep, this gets a vote, even though I keep waiting for a horn to come in. I really dig the bass line especially!

Tail Irine Irene- Wow, way too much reverb on that synth line. I hate listening to stories, when I know the story. The mix is all over the place. A rap bridge in a rap song, funny. Not the worst offender, but nothing to be to excited about either.

Votes go to:

Bella D’s Melodies
BSS
Cock
Lord of Oats
Pillar of Paprika
Steve Durand

glennny wrote:
MC Who Izzy- The question is Why? Terribly long and boring intro all to lead up to this even more boring no flow rap. No thanks.

I know I agree for the most part a caught on to the intro thing way too late...I'm workin on my delivery too.
I ain't been at this real long but I'm tryin....guess I'll just try harder

That is indeed Manhattan Glutton on the mix with my track this week. In addition to mixing, he surpised me by adding some original tracks to the song, namely the drums, the synth pads, and some of the harmonies. I honestly can't tell whether he kept my original bass track, and in that last chorus it sounds like he may have added a second piano, too. But my ears are a little screwy right now, which is why I asked him to mix in the first place. Makes it hard to tell. MG, I'd appreciate it if you could PM me a brief rundown of what-all you did to the song, just for my edification.

Glen, thanks for the review!

glennny wrote:
Pillar of Paprika- Weakest Suit? I dig the vocals a lot. The chords and melody are very Love and Rockets. Along with the spinkles of sax patch. I really hate the sound of the tom fills, other than that I really like this song. Well done!

thanks for the vote! that's me and the idiot kings, in our second collab entry. I love his vocals too.
-bill

Well heck, I'm not showing up under Late Entries either. If I screwed up my "I screwed up" mail as well I may have to fire myself from the internet.

joshmillard wrote:Well heck, I'm not showing up under Late Entries either. If I screwed up my "I screwed up" mail as well I may have to fire myself from the internet.

We got nothing. Where are you sending this stuff? Did you get a reply?

EDIT: I found it. You MUST use the name of the song as the subject line of your email, otherwise this happens.

Yeah, my bad entirely. Didn't think about the fact that gmail would blow out the original subject line with the bounce message. Thanks very much for putting up with the silliness, I'll take a breath next time before sending.

joshmillard wrote: Thanks very much for putting up with the silliness....

Based on the bounced message, it appears that you made a good-faith effort to get it in in time (bonus for dropping my middle name in your email, although you probably didn't know that you did). I have added it to the contest. May or may not make the RSS feed...

I'll take the blame for the keyboard drumming. For what it's worth, i thought the lyrics were original.

BSS - I had fun, and it was great to sing again. The first chorus needs to come in 4 bars earlier maybe. We could really use a win. Pappa needs a new pair of workout gloves.

The Hate Noise: great, until the "white boy saying fuck" a lot verse. Sorry, but everyone knows that it doesn't sound good when non-brothers/sisters curse in hip-hop. Still, you got my vote for overall enjoyments. Oh, and the sampling was well done- you could have even ramped up the melodic elements of the song if you wanted to go in that direction. Don't count on the Department of Homeland Security vote on this one.

Jon Eric Featuring stuff: chorus not original enough, sounds like Lauper's Time After Time for two chords and then I can't get back. Drums and backing vox are my favorite parts. I wonder if replacing some of the pronouns (Is and SHEs) with proper names would perk things up a bit. Dynamics are serving the song well.

Josh Millard: You know those high-hats that you found in the dumpster behind Guitar Center- those were in fact, hubcaps. Or maybe it was the micing job- that is why most people I know just let Ken fix that stuff. Or a pile of Kens, to reference my own unfunny comic generator piece. "This wasn't us clicking." great lyric. urgency in vocals "sell the song" and made it special nice. So...

King Arthur: the distorted guitar track doesn't work for me. replace with a glassy reverb laden classical guitar track and then your solo guitar and keyboard tones make more sense. I got 80s B-action movie soundtrack- maybe something with Louis Gossett Jr. In one scene, he gets an erection in the cockpit for a split second, and "Hardly a Moment" is playing. The "G" in G-force stands for gravity, not Gossett. Look it up.

Lord of Oats: Somebody was bound to use the line "Hardly a moment goes by when I don't think about you." Didn't you see that coming? But then you gain redemption with the "I want something comfortable." Good sense of humor and euro-kitsch lovin.

Izzy: I feel your early work with GnR was more successful, but I'm great to see you. This song is practically proof that you outlived Shannon Hoon. So rock on. And Rawk on. And thanks for not trying to sound good saying f**K.

New Result: My cats would like this one, but they are outside right now. They are indoor/outdoor cats.

Pillar of Paprikash: Inconsistent high-hat is distracting, and the strumming in the rhythm guitar is boring. nice melody, but the "we make great pets" ness of it all doesn't do it for me. I think if you had another go at a guitar track with some more creative strumming pattern and you have yourself a shoegazer hit of the summer of 1999, which is the year BSS's song broke, btw.

Queef McBeef: Your song inspired me to double check the spelling of "Queef." You were right.

Queen Ciggy: Very mod, awesome guitar tone and powerful vocals. Turn down the "garage" knob just a little bit and you have something we can all do air guitar windmills with. And no, you can't use that as your next band name. Great jorb. voterded.

Take me, Take me to the Riot Nerd: skipped it, i just couldn't hang.

Steve: pretty good. Nice proper use of the "with witch" prepositional phrase. Don't you think that this works better too: "Jenny Jenny, to whom can I turn?"

Tail IreneX2: good bass line, and that is saying a lot coming from me. Turn up the confidence. cool stuff missy coolstuff.