The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Sunderland seems to be an out-of-the way place. Reviews might take a while if we have to go there first.

inevitableguy wrote:Sunderland seems to be an out-of-the way place. Reviews might take a while if we have to go there first.

Hmmm, I don't know considering mine isn't about Sunderland - the place

Let’s get this party started….

Shamanizer- love the noise. It sounds like it is trying to come together. If I was stoned, I would probably be all over it. It sounds like it should go into another song or something…but it dies.

Voxes- pretty generic riff to open up the tune. Throw some autotune or talkbox or something on your vox. Sticking to generic….

Badboy- dig-diggity. They might be giants may be contacting you for copywrite infringements, which is a compliment. Nice and short little diddy. Fave so far

Bobby daviranos- mix sounds bad, but a nice simple structure. I think your vox has potential, just need to “go for it” more when you sing. The OD guitar needs to leave.

NastyJean Ja- Soundtrack for future disgruntled indie hit. Backing vox are doing it for me. Decent little mix here, just personally not too into the white guy rap thing. Eminem may be proud, tho.

CommPayback-Who do you think you are? John Frusciante? Cannot listen to a minute of “subtle soundzzzzzzzzz”

Nude Philo-Nice little diddy. That guitar tone sounds terrible though. I know it is sometimes had to turn on a Marshall halfstack in your bedroom apartment. You have the makings of a song here.

Crim names vs- Different. I don’t know why, but I kind of like it. Shit. I am trying to pick it apart. Still, I like it. No advice here.

Pablo Del Flarida-You know I am a fan of your work. Different. I like the wailing guitar build up thing. If you could just alter the tones to match the beginning and song I think you have a real winner here. Hey everyone, this is how you do backing vocals.

Brian Wilson with a J- Great METAL Beginning. I wish I could turn this up but I am at work. The one question I ask, where’s the ripping solo? C’mon it’s mEtal!!!

It’s Dining Boys- Love the soft groovy synthetics. But you know how instrumentals go. Maybe okay one every 15 songs, you get a pass on this one. Thanks for not making it 4 min. long. You are my friend

I’m the Dad. Bring it on!

Not sure who I am going to vote for. Can you now vote for more than one? I know the rules change from time to time. Leaders:Shanana, Criminals, Pablo & the nudies

Some reviews... You can imagine them in a brittish accent if you like:

Na style jaa: I don't really know what I expected when I started this song, but I don't think this was it. I hate to make the comparison, because the content is so different, but you sound exactly like that group that sang that " I like girls who wear abercrombie and fitch" song... LFO I think... However I like the chill nintendo music, and I appreciate that your lyrics are about something rather than just a bunch of rhyming sentences.

Bobby davros: you nailed the British rocker sound. Big plucky bass, big smashy drums, big fuzzy guitar, big neurotic johnny rottenesque vocals, 2 mins and change... I like it

Bad boys at bat mitzvahs: my tune. Well, I can say I didn't work ahead, this was written and recorded in all of 2 hours. The vocals aren't perfect, and I would kill for some bass guitar... but I think it's cute, and short enough to not bore anyone with my lackluster guitar skills... I don't know why I picked Memphis, I guess I figured that everyone would be writing songs about England, so I wanted to do somewhere else. Hope you like it.

Dinnertime boys: it sounds like the background music on my wii... That's all

Community payback: I don't get it. It sounds like 147 kids out in the front yard with those noise maker tubes just wailing on em... And there is a moth stuck in the lamp right next to my head with that flicking sound, and I just want somebody to get it the f out of there. Cool noise, that brought some weird mental images, but nothing to do with Sunderland.

Paco del stinko: the intro is maybe a tad bit long... But the drums are really cool! I am not sure I like the way the vocal melody goes with the guitar part, but I guess it fits... Maybe the guitar doesn't quite fit the vocals... I dunno, but there is something just a bit off (to me). I do like the creepy feel, I can almost imagine this in a play with Satan out on stage singing "are you the messiah"... Cool

Criminals: meh... I would have liked it better if it was funny instead of a robbery story... Or a funny robbery story...

Naked philosophy: Cool intro. I like the guitar sound, but I think the drums can be louder. Nice tune.

Shamanizer: this sounds like someone wrote a killer song, and the deconstructed and screwed with every track until it was literally un recognizable as music. Cool, but I wish it wasn't so hard to hear the song in there.

The voices: cool song, depite numerous flubs I like the music a lot... The voice on the other hand, is hard on the ears. Off key, off beat, the backup is even more off... And 6 mins? Gad! If this was sung well it'd be a vote no doubt. Sorry for being a dick.

Jon Wilson: lol. Not my style of metal... But how can you dislike this? Riffs are heavy, you can understand the words, some are german(?)but they are sung well. The drummer kills it at the end! I like it a lot. Vote

Chadthedad: wow. I would like it better if I could make some sort of sense of the chords and their relationship to each other, the vocals, and the single note riff going through it all. They all seem to be doing their own thing regardless of the others, and it makes for a weird dynamic that kind of makes my left eye twitch... And it sounds like my brain is melting.

I think that's all... Votes for Jon, me, and Bobby

bbabmv - This is pretty sweet and short. I think your vocals work really well here, where they have not so much in the past. Suggestion: You should go into a swung reprise at the end! Especially since it's so short.

bobby - Ya had me until the B52s vocals. Suggestion: Your strength is in your guitars, so here's what you do - double the main guitar track and pan it, more distortion, make sure the 3khz frequency is coming through.

chad - I like the janky vibe; the vox are a little too dissonant. Suggestion: Add some strings or synth to build atmosphere with the intro.

criminals - You've got the atmosphere; could use a little more instrumentation. Suggestion: Double the vocals with a little more force and EQ out a bit of the high end.

dinnertime boys - I feel like dancing. I really do. Suggestion: Add a little more techno into the mix (skipped beats, more drum hits) and become your inner Aphex Twin.

jon - Pretty awesome. I love the double bass pedal work and the guitar riffs. The singing is a little weak on the verse, but solid everywhere else. Suggestion: Boost the lows; bass sounds like it was recorded through a guitar pod.

naked - Not bad, decently catchy punk with a lot of potential to be realized. Suggestion: This is begging for harmonies on the chorus - Oooh oooh oooh. Repeat chorus more and really drive it home.

nasty - lol. You're good at rapping, and the instrumentals are sweet (you got me with the harmony at 3:12). Production value is really good - the mix could use a little adjusting. Suggestion: You almost pull off the generic synth for the main riff - I would find a better synth plugin, though.

paco - Nice to see you're back in the game. I have no idea how you make these noises, but that's why you're paco with the kickass guitar work. Suggestion: Change up drums more at chorus.

john - Another fancy intro this week. Oh, that isn't an intro - that's the song. Suggestion: Append a song to the end.

voices - You have some pretty advanced ideas and I am impressed by the song changes, but you sang off-key. Suggestion: Cut length and re-sing.


The theme this week was: long intros.

Best produced entry: nasty (REVOKED - You submitted MONO? The heck, dude.)

Most surprisingly pleasant entry: dinnertime boys

Will vote later... probably. I liked BBABM, dtb, jon, naked (maybe), nasty, paco

Manhattan Glutton wrote: Best produced entry: nasty (REVOKED - You submitted MONO? The heck, dude.)

I haven't listened to anything yet, but come on. My Bloody Valentine "Loveless" was in mono. And countless other classics, from Beatles on up. Just because you can use two channels doesn't mean you should.

That said, I haven't listened to it yet, maybe the channels need more separation. But sometimes lack of separation helps with the congealing of sound.

Manhattan Glutton wrote:bbabmv - This is pretty sweet and short. I think your vocals work really well here, where they have not so much in the past. Suggestion: You should go into a swung reprise at the end! Especially since it's so short.

thank you! Just a quick question. Do you know what I did this time that was different than before that you liked? I tried to make it as catchy as possible, and literally go exactly where your ear wanted it, but I always kinda think that it makes it sound like I ripped it off...
I am assuming By "swung reprise" you mean a slowed down part at the end... But I don't know what that means, kinda taught myself, so terminology is not my high point. But if I am right in my assumption, I totally agree, I can imagine a slow harmony "via... My sweet via... Sunderland" da dum dum dat... ting

WARNING: opinions ahead

historyman68 wrote: (snip)

No. Veto. Disagree. Especially when it's encoded at 320kbps.

BBABM wrote:Do you know what I did this time that was different than before that you liked?

You had a really strong performance, and I think your voice lends well to faster tempo music. You did well on TRLS too apparently in my quick search.

BBABM wrote:I tried to make it as catchy as possible, and literally go exactly where your ear wanted it, but I always kinda think that it makes it sound like I ripped it off...

I like catchy. There are only so many chord progressions in the world. Don't beat yourself up for it.

BBABM wrote:I am assuming By "swung reprise" you mean a slowed down part at the end... But I don't know what that means, kinda taught myself, so terminology is not my high point. But if I am right in my assumption, I totally agree, I can imagine a slow harmony "via... My sweet via... Sunderland" da dum dum dat... ting

This is not the best example, but take a look at my REALLY REALLY OLD song fight "We are all famous". You can look up swung beat on wikipedia too but that won't get you anything tangible. So yeah, take it slower but kind of ham it up. I have a punk song my band does that's pretty short, and when we play it live we add this slow, swung ending - it turns out pretty cool. I just think it's a fun trick to pull out when you have a short, fast song... but I've been known to be incorrect.

cool. thank you, and i agree that i do better with fast tempo songs. i think it is because it forces me to change quicker, and more often. i appreciate the response.

historyman68 wrote: Just because you can use two channels doesn't mean you should.

That's what I always tell the ladies.

booty wrote: Brian Wilson with a J- Great METAL Beginning. I wish I could turn this up but I am at work. The one question I ask, where’s the ripping solo? C’mon it’s mEtal!!!

Wow. Thanks, man! But I gotta tell ya, I just can't shred. Besides, I was going for a little bit of a "Rammstein" sound. And they really don't do much as far as solos are concerned (as far as I know).

BBABM wrote: Jon Wilson: lol. Not my style of metal... But how can you dislike this? Riffs are heavy, you can understand the words, some are german(?)but they are sung well. The drummer kills it at the end! I like it a lot. Vote

Thanks! The German translation goes like this:
Four, nine-cylinder engines
Feel the mighty roar
Give Hell to the Germans
Let the bleeding proceed
I wanted to incorporate some German "evil" sound into the song since it's about a war plane and I was going for a little of the Rammstein feel.

Manhattan Glutton wrote: jon - Pretty awesome. I love the double bass pedal work and the guitar riffs. The singing is a little weak on the verse, but solid everywhere else. Suggestion: Boost the lows; bass sounds like it was recorded through a guitar pod.

Thanks! I know, man. My voice just isn't cut out for even pseudo-roaring, lol. I am a very clear tenor by nature. Let's just say a lot of coughing and re-tracking was going on!

I actually didn't use a guitar or bass POD for the bass. I went DI through an Emerson 80's 4 channel mixer and added an Ampeg SVT amp sim after the fact to fatten it up. I wasn't happy with my bass sound and was running out of time to get it better (we're talking last couple hours of recording and still needing to mix like 9 other tracks). So as a result, I beefed up the drums and thinned the bass just a touch - which is more ok to do in metal. And by "not happy with" I mean that there are some low-frequency string-noise artifacts caused by my aggressive fingerstyle (and placement) that the only way I could get rid of was by either thinning it out or re-recording the whole part. And being the production whore that I am, I'd rather have had a thinner bass sound than for it to be fatter, but muddy. However, I totally agree with your assessment.

jonthecomposer wrote:.......I went DI through an Emerson 80's 4 channel mixer and added an Ampeg SVT amp sim

Correction: I meant "Realistic" mixer.

You nailed rammstein... As soon as the vocal harmonies broke in, that is exactly what came to mind



Oh, and I figured out who I ripped off.... Tell me my song doesn't sound reminiscent of "I would walk 500 miles". I swear it's in there

jonthecomposer wrote:And being the production whore that I am, I'd rather have had a thinner bass sound than for it to be fatter, but muddy. However, I totally agree with your assessment.

I think it may also be a mastering issue. It's not just that the bass is thin but the whole song feels thin. Still, kickass tune.
Edit: I'd love to fuck with your tracks in my bored time if ya like.

Manhattan Glutton wrote:

jonthecomposer wrote:And being the production whore that I am, I'd rather have had a thinner bass sound than for it to be fatter, but muddy. However, I totally agree with your assessment.

I think it may also be a mastering issue. It's not just that the bass is thin but the whole song feels thin. Still, kickass tune.
Edit: I'd love to **** with your tracks in my bored time if ya like.

Definitely production issue(s). Ampeg SVX and your bass still sounds like THAT??? In the words of so many LOLcats: ur doin it rong. Hehe. Little extra multiband comp on the low frequencies should help quite nicely. Oh, and turn down the treble as opposed to turning up the bass. The hats are up too high in the mix and have too much sizzle (7-8 kHz). Just my $0.02.

On the plus side, this song is pure awesomeness. Already voted for it without listening to any other entries (the promise of METAL! was too great). Wicked cool. Lots of hooky, riff-y goodness and some strong lyrical krep, Rammstein-ish melodies, etc. Really taking me back here -haven't owned any of their stuff since Sehnsucht.

Guitars and drums sound really good, too. Want to hold forth on the details there?

Manhattan Glutton wrote: Still, kickass tune. Edit: I'd love to fuck with your tracks in my bored time if ya like.

Thanks! That's ok. I might remix it and post it with the other tracks on the link at the bottom.

bdog5778 wrote: Definitely production issue(s). Ampeg SVX and your bass still sounds like THAT??? In the words of so many LOLcats: ur doin it rong. Hehe. Little extra multiband comp on the low frequencies should help quite nicely. Oh, and turn down the treble as opposed to turning up the bass. The hats are up too high in the mix and have too much sizzle (7-8 kHz). Just my $0.02.

On the plus side, this song is pure awesomeness. Already voted for it without listening to any other entries (the promise of METAL! was too great). Wicked cool. Lots of hooky, riff-y goodness and some strong lyrical krep, Rammstein-ish melodies, etc. Really taking me back here -haven't owned any of their stuff since Sehnsucht.

Guitars and drums sound really good, too. Want to hold forth on the details there?

[/quote]

Thanks as well! But seriously, I was running short on time. I actually EQ'd the 6+ k down before the final mix. I do tend to mix the hats hot.

Here's a link to a couple of tunes I've had much more time to mix.
http://www.reverbnation.com/thevortexuousflaperons

I apologize in advance if I wasn't supposed to post a link like that. It's not for the purpose of self-promotion. It's to show I know what y'all are talkin' 'bout

A new poster here, was going to enter this round but couldn't acquire a microphone in time. (Just as well, my song wasn't half as good as most of these.) I'm mostly posting to express love for the Jon Wilson and Na Style Jaa tracks, which I've been listening to repeatedly, but most of the rest are pretty good too.

Jon Wilson: thought of Rammstein almost immediately on hearing this. Great stuff. Your german pronunciation isn't brilliant, but that's a highly minor quibble. (Mine is also pretty awful.) Can't help singing along to the chorus.

Na Style Jaa: I love pretty much everything about this song - the synthesiser line that runs through the whole song but doesn't get old, the chorus, the wistful homesickness, slick production, the application of the "east side!" cliche to the English coast... This should be getting radio play. (I initially read the name as "Nasty Lejaa".) Only thing not to like is that I'm on a slow connection and this doesn't really need to be 9 MB.

Bobby Davros & Naked Philosophy are both somewhat reminiscent of 80's british punk/rock. The Davros track reminds me a bit of the sex pistols, nice take on the "via sunderland" thing with the lyrics; the nekkid philosophers' 'oh-oh'ing in the chorus reminds me of some other british band, but can't think what offhand. I enjoyed both of 'em.

Shamanizer/John Diehl: interesting sound. Wish I could hear the words slightly better. Someone mentioned it's like an intro which needs a song on the end - I think it's more like a track you might find on the end of an album as an offbeat lower-volume outro.

BBABM: short but sweet. I kinda want it to go on longer, though it would lose its 43-second charm if it did. I do not find it noticably reminiscent of "I would walk 500 miles", for what it's worth.

Paco del Stinko: I'm not entirely clear on how this relates to Sunderland, perhaps I'm obtuse. But it's good: quality ominous intro, segueing into striking lyrics, decent tune, worthy guitar work.

Criminals: Not really sure what to make of this one and the story it tells. (Is going to jail a freedom to be sought because it affirms the singer's nature and dignity as a responsible moral actor, existing in an existential space defined by the capacity to transgress and the consequences thereof? Enquiring minds want to know.)

Dinnertime boys: I liked last week's song by them better. The tune to this one annoys me within the first 3 seconds or so, it's the only one of this batch I skip whenever it comes up. (Also, lack of Sunderlandishness in the lyrics. Also, lack of lyrics.)

Community Payback: again, nothing Sunderlandish about this song. It provides a nice, mellow, minimalist instrumental break on the "Sunderland" playlist I set up, and it would make a good inbetween track on an album for that reason. On its own, not much to say about it.

Voices/Andrew Jagger: this is a promising song, sung so badly as to pretty much ruin it. I'd like to hear a rerecorded version with a vocalist who can sing, because I suspect it'd be really good. It should also be cut short at 5:30 if not earlier. That said I almost kinda enjoy it anyway.

Chad the Dad: great track. I like the stark guitar 2-step and the 70's Leonard Cohen voice.

Votes go to Jon Wilson and Na Style Jaa because, as I said, I've been playing them over and over. A lot of good songs here, though. Bonus warm feelings go out to everyone who made their song less than 3MB in size.

godescalc wrote: Jon Wilson: thought of Rammstein almost immediately on hearing this. Great stuff. Your german pronunciation isn't brilliant, but that's a highly minor quibble. (Mine is also pretty awful.) Can't help singing along to the chorus.

Thanks! I know, lol. I've never taken German nor have I practiced much. I'm glad everyone is catching the Rammstein thing. I rarely listen to them, but actually did some research on their guitar sound and song structure (arr/guitar mix) beforehand. The damned thing took almost a whole week to write and record and I still need to remix it!

hmm.............

http://spintown79.blogspot.com/2011/02/ ... rland.html

Sorry I didn't write about many this time, but not much interested me in this go around.

Na Style Jaa - I enjoyed this a lot. The flow was nice, and I could actually make out most of the lyrics...unlike a lot of rap in Song Fight. There were a couple lines I really hated, like rhyming "didn't know it" with "poet". The lack of creativity in using a line like that annoys me when I'm enjoying most of a song. You're still the hands down winner in what was a lackluster fight in my opinion. (voted)

The Dinnertime Boys - I could never vote for something like this without lyrics. In no way does it meet the challenge, but in all honesty I enjoyed it.

Naked Philosophy - Alright, but in this group it seems like a masterpiece. Lyrics didn't really grab me, but the music wasn't bad. The song felt very repetitive despite being short. So that's probably not good.

Paco Del Stinko
Intriguing opening and well performed and produced, but strangely un-engaging. I was left pondering what the purpose of the song was.

Bad Boys at Bat Mitzvahs
Short and sweet and enjoyable. I like a song that doesn't outstay its welcome.

CHADtheDAD
I like this a lot. It has a fine Tom Waits feel to it. The vocals suit the backing and the overall effect works very well to my ear.

Jon Wilson
This is the highlight of the fight for me and reminds me why listening to the songs here is always worthwhile. Very well executed, with a hint of Iron Maiden-esque prog leaning.

Naked Philosophy
Fun, if feeling slightly generic. The bridge is nice, the solo could do with a bit more work. The chorus is pretty catchy though and the song gets out whilst it is ahead.

Na Style Jaa
Another well executed, but unaffecting song. I just get the feeling I have heard it before and I know almost exactly where it is going with the breakdowns and other sections.

Voices
Some nice ideas, but too long and lacking the necessary precision in execution to pull off such a grand plan. I for one though applaud you for trying.

godescalc wrote:
I do not find it noticably reminiscent of "I would walk 500 miles", for what it's worth.

Yeah, it's kind of a stretch. To me, part of my vocal melody sounds like the "num nana nah nah nah" part of that song.... That just sounds like I'm a crazy person, maybe if it actually sounded anything like it I could make a better case.