The Song Fight Bulletin Board

World's going to hell in handbasket, but don't you cry
You can still make a sow's ear look like a silk purse if you try
Appearances can be deceiving, and that's all right
Just get yourself to a vest factory

You know the place that makes the clothing makes the man
If you want to make yourself rich, well you can
If you want to make yourself a gentleman, I understand
Just get yourself to a vest factory

Those who want to look their best
Are well-advised to wear a vest
But where a vest may be obtained
Has firstly to be ascertained

(chorus)
That's why I'm looking for a vest factory
It doesn't have to be the best factory
A local outlet would be satisfactory
As long as they can make a vest for me

(solo)

One might have thought a retail chain
But that, I think, would be too plain
I want no common vest to wear
I want a vest extraordinaire

I have the fabric set aside
A pleated argyle naugahyde
Emblazoned with my family tree
It's something you don't often see

(chorus)

(repeat first verse)

All the girls they love you
love you love you love you
precious piece of clothing
the way you hold my skin...

the way you adorn me
they all wanna be like me
they all wanna be
the prettiest vest in the vest factory

but if they knew me
knew me knew me
they would know I am lost
if all your precious seamstresses could
see see see see
the cost

they would see right through me
their mouths would gasp
like the little fishes
and they'd be lost
...lost lost
just like me

CH
in this silent scream
trapped in these seams
trapped in the seams of the
vest factory
trapped like the way that you hold me
so very straitjacketdly

no..
they would know know
they would know know
they'd would know for sure, for sure
that I am quite, quite alone
and they would be
they would be, they would be,
sorry.. so so so so so so so
sorry
about my lack of control..
and they would know
that I've got nothing -
so, so?

CH
they would know me
in this silent scream
trapped in between
these dreams
the seams of the
vest factory
trapped so straitjacketdly
trapped so straitjacketdly

BR
i have a waistcoat, I call it a vest
It's kinda light green, and actually I have three or four
they're kinda my thing I'm known for
well, that and avoiding …
all the issues of course
not following prompts / I put my hands in my pockets

CH
and yeah, I scream
so silently
in between the seams
trapped straightjacketly
I'm lost, I'm lost, I lost
in these streams
trapped so straitjacketdly
drowning, drowning, drowning….

in the factory
of you … and me

Vest Factory - Paco del Stinko

Here at the vest factory, we make the vests
You don't get the sleeves but you do get the rest
Come try one on and give it a test
And then you'll see why our vests are best

Well, maybe you'd like a leather one
Like a biker or Nick from Big Valley
With a pocket or two for a watch or maybe a tin of chew
No-one would dare call you Sally
So put one arm through and another makes two

Here at the vest factory, we make the vests
You don't get the sleeves but you do get the rest
Come try one on and give it a test
And then you'll see why our vests are best

Well, maybe you'd like one that's orange
Like a construction guy or a crossing guard
You'd glow and be hip with a nice shiney silver reflector strip
As you stopped all the cars by the school yard
So just put one on it sure won't take long

Me, my favorite is inflatable
The safety of which is undebatable
When I pull the cord it puffs up to my throat
At the top of the ocean for hours I can float
It goes from flat, and under disguise
In one second flat it'll widen your eyes
Just how cool is that?


Here at the vest factory, we make the vests
You don't get the sleeves but you do get the rest
Come try one on and give it a test
And then you'll see why our vests are best

Well, maybe you'd like one that's bullet proof
Like a body guard or maybe a cop
You could stop any round - off your chest it would simply bounce
Like a super man who just can't be stopped
Don't take the hit, get one that fits - it fits you


Here at the vest factory, we make the vests
You don't get the sleeves but you do get the rest
Come try one on and give it a test
And then you'll see why our vests are best
And then you'll see why our vests are best

We're wearing vests, and it's so snazzy
We're wearing vests, looking so dazzle dazzy
I peed on my ass, that wasn't easy, no
Wore a douche-ass vest, out to a picture show
I came on pop-corn without even being hard
Slammed up the toilet seat and pushed out a shard
Wear It tight, we'll be out all night
Plutonium stain, I think I'll add the word "might"
Have you ever had holes in your pants?
And your lady said "hey"
I said "I've just been at work"
"working in this vest factory"
Oh so snazzy
Oh, dazzle dazzy
Looking so snazzy
And feeling classy, oh so classy, oh so classy, oh so cool.

Vest Factory by Johnny Cashpoint
Vocals, keys, guitars - Johnny Cashpoint
Drums, bass - Andy Balham

Got myself a cool Tee
It's a knock-off Nike
Made from sweatshop cruelty
Direct from the vest factory

CHORUS
I will not ask you questions
Willing ethics suspension
If it means it'll get me
nice pair of cheap jeans

It's not much less pricey
Than what you see on High Street
But like veal, vest factory's
Suffering makes it tasty

CHORUS

Vest factory
Hypocrisy
Dim-ocracy
Plutocracy