The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Get your snack bag today! Also, please review.

wow... big fight... im gonna need more than the hour i have to listen and do reviews.

p.s. night elf mohawk is an AWESOME name

BSS, who's singing? I love that voice!

Why do I always manage to get my act together for the fights that turn out to be HUGE?

Generic wrote:Why do I always manage to get my act together for the fights that turn out to be HUGE?

You and me both. I only managed to get in a small fight once, and I had a crap song then.

Billy's Little Trip wrote:BSS, who's singing? I love that voice!

Martyr

I think he sings most often for BSS.

King Arthur, your song made me smile. Thank you.

I didn't understand all the lyrics in BLT's song, but couldn't shake the impression that they were very dirty. Also, E-bow Phillips might be the cleverest nickname I've ever seen for a Songfighter.

Wages, your song isn't spectacular, but I think these are the best vocals I've ever heard from you. Keep up the good work!

That Guy - "na na na nana naaa" sound. I like it. vocals are like Steely Dan. Trippy. Good integration of what the bag of bones actually IS in your song. I likey!

Night Elf Mohawk - Cool name. I lol'd. This is like an aborted Genesis song. Long-ass intro. HAhahaha. I like this because it's insane and experimental. I'm putting it on my ipod and playing it during a cookout this weekend. I'll report back as to how it was received. The change to neo-speed-salsa was outstanding and ... then the... The Queen's speech near the end. hahahahaha. Jesus. I want to hear this in an 80's snuff film. "bag ooffff booooooones." oh man. Applause!

Equals X = Freddy cause I'll make you scream. hahaha. the second verse was recorded in a better fashion. Did you all make the beat too? I used to love to make beats. I like it, man. The only verse I wasn't feeling was the first one. The other ones had a good, listenable flow. All we need is Nate Dogg to sing the hook for you and we could go GOLD!

J.M and Young Nick - I love the opening. Kinda Mumford and Sons. Well built up! Pro! Very Wes Anderson. the two vocalists have a good contrast. I most enjoy the first voice and the second lyrics. A+!

YoungStroke aka Young Muscle Bob - Are you from Georgia? This is simultaneously bush league and pro. I like this a lot! "...abbreviated B-O-B." Hahahaha. I hope you were going for funny with this because it really WORKS on that level (at least with me). Keep it up!

Hey it's Romer - I have no reference for Trance/Insane/ADD/Techno. I like your song but I can't really make any comments because it defies my... word... ability.

Frolicking Swamp Sparklies - Shit! I love your voice! I'd like to hear you cover TANGERINE by Zep. I LOVE the verb on the guitar. The echo on the voice is ALL ME!! The keys are well placed. NICE! DRUMS! Experimental solo. Twinkling organ. Good lyrics. Wow. And it cleans up SO FREAKIN nicely at the end! Damn! CONGRATS! Favorite song so far!! (and it's true, freckled girls WILL take their clothes off for you!)


EggNogAdam - Subdued. Nothing popped. I get the feeling that you went for Nirvana and you ended up with... RHCP/Dokken on ludes. I've had the chance to listen to this song for like a week now. I like it but I will probably often hit "next" when iPod shuffling. Yea. That pretty much sums it up.


Jon Eric - Piano; always a good decision! It TOTALLY brings me back to Show Choir days of middle school / high school. Wow. Elton John could sing this and make a cool million. Well done. I am a fan of more-effected vocals but I appreciate your song. Well played, man! Well played.

Billy's Little Trip - Pro recording. Damn. Nice equipment and mixing skills! kinda Presidents of the USA meets Offspring. "Richard is about to blast." hahahahahaha. Formulaic song style but there's never been anything wrong with that. I can't wait to hear other stuff you do / have done!

Noah McLaughlin - Love the reverb. Oooh! Nice drum entrance! Quick. Me likey. Beatles-like guitar chorus riff. I totally appreciate that! Good mix. I like your panning. I would say this could be a strong Bruce Springsteen number. Good job! You've got my vote!

Berkeley Social Scene - I like your chord prog! Hahahahaha. Very Bon Scott vocals on the hook. hahaha. I like it. I like how rough they are in juxtaposition with the gentle pacing and clear backbone of the song. Well played!

Crack Hole - After 1 minute of thinking about it I have decided that I have two crack holes. One where crack goes in and one where crack stays near. I think your song is well made. I like that it's short but that's not a "thank god it's over" critique.

Daring Front - the music rocks. Are you a fan of Remy Shand, by any chance? Good soul. Keep it up!!

Fitzroy - Daaaaaamn! I like that shit! I wish you had been in a nice room with a board full of sound techs so your crunching would make my car windows rattle. Still, I like it!

lalabrookie - Solid and simple. How can I not appreciate this sing? My friend Rook might really LOVE this song, actually.

Hoglen and Wages - people's lighters actually DO say a lot about them. Hahahaha. nice. Crisp guitar. Highly listenable. Enjoyed the harmonies at the end. Well done.

Duderonymus Bosch - metronomes. fail. hahaha. I swear to god this song could pass for old. like... like "Internet Archives Blues." I like the stream-of-consciousness thing that happens in this song. It makes it very organic. Hope to see you soon!

TOSHIRO - Epic Drums! Wish I had some of these bombtastic drums. The backing vocals make me think of Bowie. Holy hell!! The chorus is TOTALLY Bowie. Hahahahahaha! I want to poof my hair and wear a tight sequined shirt with a 5 inch popped collar. I wish your verse vocals weren't tinny, but I like the whole thing! "Toll Free NUMBAAAH!"

Mantzfield - I like the low register your vocals are rockin'. I hardly ever have the balls to try that.

King Arthur - PFHSHSHSSSSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I literally spit out some eggnog when your intro hit. I forgot who I was listening to and was TOTALLY blown away. Now that I realize who's playing I'm not surprised (but I still am blown away). You kick ass!Your crisp effects are amazing. "in through the ears and out through the feet" is such a bad ass line! The organ fade in the back really makes the fade out work. Great job!!

Jan Krueger - band called "Double" track called "Blue." I dunno why but listening to this song made me torrent that album. hahahahaha. Ever see The Burbs? I am envisioning the Klopec's singing this in their basement while burning bodies. hahahaha. keep it up, man!

Generic wrote:I didn't understand all the lyrics in BLT's song, but couldn't shake the impression that they were very dirty

Like, not hear them clearly, or understand what I meant? If so, give me a line and I'll explain it......naked.

And yes, Glennny should from now on go by E-Bow Phillips, lol.

eggnogadam wrote: Daring Front - the music rocks. Are you a fan of Remy Shand, by any chance? Good soul. Keep it up!!

Just checked out...I am now a Remy Shand fan. damn.

Reviews! Random order based on the front page.

Nigh Tell Ifmo Hawk - I remember your "Green Eleven" fondly. It makes me wish this were more like it. Oh well. The pauses in the beginning are quite distracting; I thought my broswer was caching the song improperly. There were some good moments in the vocal delivery - I like the character you created for the spoken-word parts, and "traipsing" is a fun word. Your chorus is crap. "Papa don't like that bag of bones..." ick. And then the second verse devolves the song into jokes about senility and incontinence. Hooray. Honestly, I spent the first two minutes or so looking for diplomatic things to say about this song, but everything after the first chorus made me want to stop trying. I've heard you exercise more maturity and creativity in a song before. By comparison, this bites.

noam clock len - A little bit of off-key singing (I'm probably guilty of that myself, so I won't harsh too much). Your vocals are also too low in the mix. I wonder if you did that with the intention of masking the off-key vocals? If so, you should be advised that that trick never works. I like the pacing and structure of your song. I kind of wish the drum machine weren't so obviously a drum machine, but you work with what you've got. I like that "You ain't welcome here" bit. I wish the song had ended on that snare hit right before the third verse. Everything after that feels superfluous. Plus, your delivery on the last chorus is WAY off.

Kin Garthur - This is probably my favorite song of the week, so you should definitely take this with a huge grain of salt, but let's consider the metaphor which informs the title of your song here. Metaphors and similes tend to compare two unlike things. "Bag of Bones" is a special case, because - although it's a well-known metaphorical signifyer for the human body, especially a dead or dying one - it's also a literal description as well. When you use this well-traveled metaphor as the object of your simile "Shake it like a bag of bones," I wonder if it's not too on-the-nose for the simile; whether you are, in fact, telling us to shake our bodies like our bodies, forming a simile that is imperfect because the two things it's comparing aren't dissimilar enough. It doesn't matter. If we were back in the one-vote days, you'd probably have gotten mine. The lyrics are clever and evokative at the same time, and I'm a sucker for songs about the power of music. "It comes in through the ears, it comes out through the feet" is so beautiful. Filtering that message through the vignettes about people in dead-end jobs is a stroke of genius. I love this.

TOASH HERO - It sounds like Goth music, but are you actually singing Christian Rock? No, but that sounded weirdly optimistic in the first verse. Guess you were being more ironic than I gave you credit for. Okay, sorry about that. I love this genre, but some of your lyrics are buried under the mix, making it sort of a strain. This is less of a chorus when you a.) drop the phone filter, and b.) add harmonies. This is recorded well, though I dislike the extra-distorted guitar that comes in for the coda, and I think the televangelist character you made up there was just a little too over-the-top. Not bad, but there's definitely room for improvement.

Hyatt's Roamer - Gotta admit, I'm pretty curious about what the spoken-word sample comes from. The techno-instrumental that follows sounds really familiar. Either that melody is built into a loop that I've heard someone else use before, or you copped a melody from somewhere. I know there's nothing new under the sun, but when the melody is basically the entire piece, I have to point that out. Sorry to say it, but at the end of this song, I'm left wondering, "So what?"

Mance Feeled - Caught a throat-clearing on the mic... was that on purpose? Oof, the drums sound really uneven. I would rather a song with no drums at all than the lurching semi-rhythms here. It throws off the pacing, it makes the whole experience really unnerving. And then a death-metal song jumps in all of a sudden. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with the song that it interrupted, and then suddenly we hear the genre-shifted chorus. I'm not a metal fan, so maybe this is genre-bias, but I'm finding this incredibly unpleasant to listen to. I skipped to the next song at 2:10.

Egg No Gat, Him - "Don't hate my bag of bones / That's just how I live"? What does that mean? These lyrics are confusing. At least they're sung mostly in-tune and are mixed consistenty with the song. You have a pretty good ear for arranging, and all the instruments are played competently (or are they loops? I have a hard time telling sometimes). I wanna say that this isn't that great, but the bar is so low that you're like the second- or third-best song so far. In a higher-quality fight this would probably be dead-center. In fact, you're officially my benchmark now. Anything better than this is officially a good song. Anything worse is officially a bad song.

Bill Easily Tultrip - Gosh, I hate it when rockers count "1, 2!" That's not enough to get a feel for the tempo! Oh well. So these lyrics... "Outside my..." what? Hoocheroo? I'm confused. Okay, I see that I correctly intuited earlier that these lyrics are filthy. "Richard is about to blast." Woooo. Honestly, songs about oral sex are kind of boring to me. Yay, you're getting head. Shall I get the party-planning commission in on this? This is pretty clever, I suppose. You've written better lyrics and catchier melodies before, so I can't really offer this any more than the most pyrrhic of praise. You're better than EggNogAdam.

Fit Suroy - Oh my gawd I hate screamy vocals. Sorry, I don't think I'm going to last this whole song. I like the garage-band recording quality. These vocals are killing it for me. I'm sorry, I can't say anything intelligent about this.

John, a Thin Man - Oh, you're doing your big massive collab-o-rama thing, aren't you? Cool cool. Man, you can put together a very strong, thoughtful, well-arranged song when you put your mind to it. The title feels kind of unrelated to the first verse. The second verse remedies this issue. This is catchy as all get out, and I like the sudden appearance of the accordion when the chorus happens. I'll probably be thinking of this chorus when, six years from now, someone asks me if I remember the "Bag of Bones" fight. I'm gonna call this my #2 pick of the week.

Jung's Troke aka Jung Must Ell - Some people are content just to have one stupid name, but you had to snatch two stupid names all for yourself, eh? Your vocals are ridiculously strained. You've got a decent sense of how flow *should* work, but your attempts backfire when some of your lines run together awkwardly. There are some clever rhymes, at least. I really don't have advice for rappers whose flow is awkward. I mean, if you really genuinely thought that these lines sounded good together, then I don't know what combination of words will disabuse you of that notion. Just keep doing what you're doing, I guess... Eeesh.

Jawin' Earache - So, this was a demo that I sent to someone else for a collaboration. When that person didn't get back to me, I added the drums and bass at the last second, just to have something to turn in. As such, this isn't perfect. It's probably got the darkest lyrics I'll ever submit to Songfight. I like the feel of those suspended chords, but they made it difficult to sing, and that shows in the vocals here. Like I said, this was a demo, and the vocal was supposed to be re-recorded, so I didn't think some slightly-pitchy vox would hurt. Just shows to go ya, I guess. I was also really ambivalent about ending unresolved. The drums and the manual fade-out made that more tolerable, I suppose, though I wonder what you all will think. You gotta admit, at 2:25, I didn't overstay my welcome, at least.

Ho, Glen & Way Just - This is, to be honest, a kind of mediocre song saved by Phil's melody and vocal delivery. Everything else is competent but unengaging. Part of that might be the lack of low-end. I didn't even notice until the song was almost over, but there's no bass here. That extra oomph might have helped. Now, the world may never know.

Equal Sex - I'm not against the proliferation of recording technologies and music-making programs, but it really frustrates me that they've made it so easy to make bad music and share it with other people. I got really bored listening to this, so I quit at about the one-minute mark. The fact that you managed to bore me in under a minute is kind of impressive, I guess.

Burr Cleese Otial Seen - This is far muddier than we normally get from BSS. Martyr's vocals sound lost behind all the drums. The reverb on the guitars makes this tough to follow. I like the riffs, I think. Though it's be a lot easier to swallow if things were a little clearer. And hey, I can't fault you guys for lack of passion. Man, Martyr is going all-out. Maybe he's just worried he won't be heard over Ken's drums. I like the time-sig change. It's kind of funny. More often than not, BSS songs represent a fully-realized ambition that I'm simply not that interested in. Just an incompatibility of taste, I think, but I usually admire the execution, even while being unimpressed with the idea. This time it's the other way around - I like the idea, but y'all didn't stick the landing. So it goes.

The Frau Lickings Womps Park Lees - That delay on the voice is super-distracting. The vocals are off-key, which is troubling for a song that starts off mostly just guitar and voice. The keyboard comes in near the end of the first verse, adding a little bit of depth, but then when the percussion comes in, it brings what sound like a bunch of rhythmic hiccups. They make it difficult to listen to. At least your singing is on-key.

Thag Eye - Your guitars don't sound like they're in tune with each other. The slide is played well, but the plucked lead sounds like it's being played by someone who just learned how to play guitar. This definitely picks up as it goes. The harmony break after the first chorus is painful in how off-key it is. Your synth needs a break. It drones more or less constantly from the moment it starts. The contrast between the varying registers of vocals sounds like a ragged version of They Might Be Giants. You need to work on becoming more familiar with your own material and hitting all those notes.

Cra Cole - Squealing guitars over a drum machine... okay... Vaguely electro-sounding. :45 in and halfway through, still waiting for this idea to develop. No lyrics, no real motion in the piece. Yeah, you toss a couple of extra chords in about two-thirds the way through. But this does pretty much the same thing throughout its short length. Not sure why I'm supposed to care.

Yonk Rooger - Whoa, this sounds a lot cleaner than the preview version you showed me. With the dryer mix, the suspendeds and tense close chords the synths spend most of the time making are a lot easier to swallow than before. I like the vibraphone a lot, and your "The bones!!!!" delivery boosts the energy level a lot. Man, your vocals are tons better than they used to be, and I thought they were pretty good before! Well done all around. A likely candidate for the win.

layla brew key - Jeeze, can you not hear how out-of-tune your voice is relative to the guitar? The voices are in tune with each other, which leads me to believe the guitar is the culprit, though I wonder how that's logistically possible. I like the minimalist percussion, and you've got some reasonably smart lyrics here. Just sing on-key next time and we won't have any problems.

Dude, Ron I'm As Posh - "Don't ask me why"? But that's pretty key to understanding why you're singing this song. Okay, I kind of see the joke and all, but when you SCREAAAAAAM INTO THE MIC AT 1:30, IT REALLY HURT MY EARS, AND I DON'T GENERALLY LISTEN TO SONGS THAT HURT MY EARS. SKIPPED THE REST. PRETTY SURE I'M NOT MISSING ANYTHING THAT I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SEE COMING ANYWAY.

Day Ring Of Runt - I know MC Frontalot doesn't own the word "Front," but it's strange to see your name crop up in the venue where he cut his teeth and attained a fair amount of recognition. Just rambling here. Hey, you put together a pretty professional package here. On-key vocals (and a nice voice, too!), good drum programming, effective laying of synths and electric piano layers. Dude, I think you just landed a vote from me. This is rather pleasant to listen to. You should be pleased with yourself.

****

Alright, my only votes this week went to King Arthur, Jonathan Mann, Jan Krueger, and Daring Front.

Generic wrote:Bill Easily Tultrip - Gosh, I hate it when rockers count "1, 2!" That's not enough to get a feel for the tempo! Oh well. So these lyrics... "Outside my..." what? Hoocheroo? I'm confused. Okay, I see that I correctly intuited earlier that these lyrics are filthy. "Richard is about to blast." Woooo. Honestly, songs about oral sex are kind of boring to me. Yay, you're getting head. Shall I get the party-planning commission in on this? This is pretty clever, I suppose. You've written better lyrics and catchier melodies before, so I can't really offer this any more than the most pyrrhic of praise. You're better than EggNogAdam.

Yeah, it's not meant to be a deep literary piece by any means. It's just a sarcastic tune with a fun groove.
Also, it's not a song about getting head, although that does take place. Glennny inspired this with a simple line about a person, "plaster caster" he knew I'd be familiar with because of our ages and genre interests. To be honest, I became familiar about her from my KISS days and found out what their song Plaster Caster was about, lol. This is the first time since I was around 15 that I heard her name again.
The line, "you better hurry because Richard is about to blow" means that she better hurry and get her mold cured and off before I bust a nut. Because her method was to have her assistant keep you at full erection while she makes a mold of your member. As far as why I chose Richard Roundtree as my metaphor. His show was from that time period and it just seemed to all tie together perfectly and I thought it was a clever way to refer to my "shaft". Plus, Richard? Come on, that's just funny!

So you see, the song isn't about getting a bj. From the very first line to the last, it's about her wanting to make a mold of my dick to add to her collection (bag of bones). Ta-Da!

eggnogadam wrote:Billy's Little Trip - Pro recording. Damn. Nice equipment and mixing skills! kinda Presidents of the USA meets Offspring. "Richard is about to blast." hahahahahaha. Formulaic song style but there's never been anything wrong with that. I can't wait to hear other stuff you do / have done!

If you like campy songs, then you might like the feel good summer hit Shoelace Soup or the one I did with SF's own Hoblit called Double Take, or Cutie pie Jen of Quimby did Spin The Bottle with me, or our fight master here Spud and long time resident Paco on Rattlesnake. Spud sang on that one.


....wow, I sure write a lot of stupidly fun songs, lol. It's a shame that I can never use the line again, "life is best when we're side by each, you draws pictures of my dick when I'm asleep", because it's now lost forever in the great Song Fight abyss of clever lines.

Generic wrote:I know MC Frontalot doesn't own the word "Front,"

Thank you for the very flattering review. I pulled the name from webster's:

Daring - adj. - adventurous or audaciously bold; boldly unconventional
Front - noun - person or organization serving as a cover for subversive activities.

So he verbs, I noun. Still quite a coinkydink.

reviews... from me to you

King Art: it sounds like a Grateful Dead song, written without the psychedelic drugs. much tighter, on time/key, and has all the fun playfulness... but its missing the rebel edge. still an awesome tune. and either way, its your song, not theirs.

Jan K: those drums are pretty crazy. i like the music, the vocals im not crazy for, but they fit. but i think your accent fits very well, especially making it sound spooky.

Lala B: as always, the harmonies are on point. the lyrics are a little boring to me, and kinda stalker-ish, no? in a song called "bag of bones" that's a little disturbing. i know the song isn't about a stalker who kills her object of obcession and keeps his bones in a bag in the trunk of a BMW... but you can see how i could go there.

toshi: much much better than last week. the main vocal in the verse sounds hollow like your singing through a megaphone, but other than that really really big improvement. wow, sheep? tell us how you really feel.

crack: not quite what i expected, but pleasantly so. those are some crazy harmonies you have going there. but no lyrics? i have voted for an instrumental before, but this one doesnt scream "bag of bones" to me. i appreciate the entry though.

night elf mohawk: you have the coolest name of any band, i wish i had thought of it. i kinda wish you were speed metal... but w/e. "traipsing" is silly. the voices are funny. the chorus sucks, what does that even mean? the speed break at 3:40 is F*#@ING RIDICULOUS! that should be a whole song on its own. you may still get a vote for your name.

young s/m: hmmm. it sounds like c&c music factory. honestly, the rhymes aren't horrific, but the delivery was really bad. work on your flow.

jon & ynk: i like the groove you have going. the chicken soup line is a pretty weak start in my opinion. especially considering the strength of all the other lyrics. the chorus is fricking awesome. i dont know why but this song reminds me of a cold rainy day. i like it a lot... except for the first line.

BSS: your singer sounds like the guy from dead milkmen. i love dead milkmen. another awesome rock song from bss, i happen to like this singer better than the others because there is space between the lines, and it feels more open, and sing-along-able.

BLT+EBP: i could imagine les claypool playing bass on this song. i love the virtually constant innuendo, and when its not there, the blatant sexual reference. your voice especially makes this song kinda sound like the offspring songs that i hate, but in a good way... if that makes sense. good luck figuring that out. my favorite song so far. i read the lyrics a few day ago, and couldnt wait to hear it. you do not disappoint good sir.

noah: i dunno about those drums. it sounds like you put whitesnake drums to an allman brothers song. i think it may have been better as just 2 acoustic guitars, no electric. singing, you missed a couple of those notes.

t guy: ooh, thats a fun riff. those banjos(?) should have made a comeback somewhere in there, cause that was my favorite part. i like most of the lyrics, but it seems to drag on for a little too long with the "nothing in my bag of bones" round.

J Eric: someone had fun with the fake(?) drums. lots of crazy stops, fills, doo-hickies and what-nots. that's all drum talk, i dunno if you speak either way they are a little loud in the mix. on the other hand, the vocals were awesome, but they were almost lost behind the fantastic booming piano. listening to this song, i cant wait to see you live in NYC in a few weeks on a big piano... no pressure. cool tune, not my fave because of the wonky drums. i like interesting drums, these sounded a little too interesting. i play music by the motto K.I.S.S. (keep it simple, stupid). you obviously have to make it interesting, but too much is just as bad as too little.

=x: you have the opposite problem of young s/m... your delivery was good, your rhymes just sucked. you dont have to make a hard rhyme every time, and the last word shouldnt be the only thing in the line that rhymes. you do have the confidence necessary though, and that makes your song better than his, in my mind. work on those lyrics.

egg: i feel seattle in there, plus you have the scott wieland voice down pat. i think the drums could be more rocking, the rhythm guitar could be turned up, and the little weird guitar part should go into a face melting guitar solo.

dude b: you should write down some notes before you just wing the words. cause i like the premise behind the song, but it is just too disorganized to be funny.

romer: sweet. i like the electro breaks. i dont think you should have cut completely at the 2nd sample, you lose all momentum you had. other than that, i loved it. puts my ""if i had one" entry to shame. well done.

fitz: bb and I killed it in the jam room for like 3 mins something... we are too cheap to buy a cymbal. the screaming may not be for everyone... i think he sounds like the dude from snot. the real trick was getting the vocals to sound shitty enough that you would believe he was playing and singing at the same time. it took more tries than id like to admit. at least it sounds less like a diving bell this time.

hog+wag: not really my thingy, but everything at least sounds on key. i see potential for this to be exciting, but as it is recorded now, it is lacking some energy.

mantz: those drums, woof... when it goes heavy i like it, you should have growled the whole thing, the chorus where you bring back the acoustic part, should be screamed at the top of your lungs. just cut the first acoustic part and just come in heavy.

daring: you really have those r&b grooves down. not as hard as the previous, but still well produced. i'd like a little more bass.

the FSS: i was going to thank you for not ruining this with drums, but then the drums kicked in and totally ruined it. though they are minimalist enough to work, they are off beat with everything else. just cut completely. the lyrics were pretty.

there we go... votes go to fitz, blt+ebp, jon+ynk, romer. however, everyone did very well this week. and surprisingly no duds, or pranksters in the group. hope to see everyone back.

BBABM wrote: egg: i feel seattle in there, plus you have the scott wieland voice down pat. i think the drums could be more rocking, the rhythm guitar could be turned up, and the little weird guitar part should go into a face melting guitar solo.

aweswome. thanks! Would that I could! I can get about 2 triplets in before my fingers give up and die. I have tried (3 times) to record a smokin' solo, 2 triplets at a time, and the results were hilarious! Shit. I might try that again, now that I mention it. I think I'm gonna go more piano and acoustic on the next song. Thanks, though. Scott Wieland. hahahahaha. nice. Just a BIT more smack and I'll be DEAD ON! pffhahaha.

ps - I hit ctrl-V and summoned up this picture of a band I was in. I don't know when I ctrl-C'd the pic but... here it is.

pps. I'm the bearded singer with the light-speed-arm-twitch.

Generic wrote: layla brew key - Jeeze, can you not hear how out-of-tune your voice is relative to the guitar? The voices are in tune with each other, which leads me to believe the guitar is the culprit, though I wonder how that's logistically possible. I like the minimalist percussion, and you've got some reasonably smart lyrics here. Just sing on-key next time and we won't have any problems.

Generic, thanks for the review. In regards to pitch: (Maybe I shouldn't admit this haha) but I had just tuned the guitar with my handy dandy snark right before played. I know had a few moments (I was squeezed for time, so I just went with my first time through since I felt it as reasonably OK), but I didn't feel that I was off more than a couple times and then only by a small margin.

EVERYONE: I would welcome some comments on this - if am that off and not realizing it, then I need to know. Please be honest - I can take it! Thanks!

lalabrookie wrote:Generic wrote: layla brew key - Jeeze, can you not hear how out-of-tune your voice is relative to the guitar? The voices are in tune with each other, which leads me to believe the guitar is the culprit, though I wonder how that's logistically possible. I like the minimalist percussion, and you've got some reasonably smart lyrics here. Just sing on-key next time and we won't have any problems.

Generic, thanks for the review. In regards to pitch: (Maybe I shouldn't admit this haha) but I had just tuned the guitar with my handy dandy snark right before played. I know had a few moments (I was squeezed for time, so I just went with my first time through since I felt it as reasonably OK), but I didn't feel that I was off more than a couple times and then only by a small margin.

EVERYONE: I would welcome some comments on this - if am that off and not realizing it, then I need to know. Please be honest - I can take it! Thanks!

It doesn't sound out of tune to me, not enough that I would have mentioned it... generic, are you listening on speakers or really good headphones? I'm just on cheap headphones, I wonder if there's some high frequency stuff going on that makes it sound out of tune or something, that's not audible on inexpensive phones.

Charles

king_arthur wrote:

lalabrookie wrote:Generic wrote: layla brew key - Jeeze, can you not hear how out-of-tune your voice is relative to the guitar? The voices are in tune with each other, which leads me to believe the guitar is the culprit, though I wonder how that's logistically possible. I like the minimalist percussion, and you've got some reasonably smart lyrics here. Just sing on-key next time and we won't have any problems.

Generic, thanks for the review. In regards to pitch: (Maybe I shouldn't admit this haha) but I had just tuned the guitar with my handy dandy snark right before played. I know had a few moments (I was squeezed for time, so I just went with my first time through since I felt it as reasonably OK), but I didn't feel that I was off more than a couple times and then only by a small margin.

EVERYONE: I would welcome some comments on this - if am that off and not realizing it, then I need to know. Please be honest - I can take it! Thanks!

It doesn't sound out of tune to me, not enough that I would have mentioned it... generic, are you listening on speakers or really good headphones? I'm just on cheap headphones, I wonder if there's some high frequency stuff going on that makes it sound out of tune or something, that's not audible on inexpensive phones.

Charles

I just listened on expensive headphones and I'm not hearing the voice out of tune from the guitar either. Maybe he's confusing it with my song. Because my song and Brookie's song are identical and coincidentally are both about bags of bones.

BBABM wrote: BLT+EBP: i could imagine les claypool playing bass on this song. i love the virtually constant innuendo, and when its not there, the blatant sexual reference. your voice especially makes this song kinda sound like the offspring songs that i hate, but in a good way... if that makes sense. good luck figuring that out. my favorite song so far. i read the lyrics a few day ago, and couldnt wait to hear it. you do not disappoint good sir.

I get that Offspring comment a lot and I can never hear it, lol. I think Wages was the first one to say that. Thanks, Fitzy.

EVERYONE: I would welcome some comments on this - if am that off and not realizing it, then I need to know. Please be honest - I can take it! Thanks!

I just listened with moderate headphones and a guitar. My conclusion is that the key is undefined. You have two big chords. G major and C major. But unfortunately it sounds like you're singing in both keys. i would tend to think the song should be in G. You scoop up the the 5th (D) but you do it from C# instead of C. Therein lies the disturbing dissonance (to me). You may argue that it's really in C, but there are many F#s there to counteract that assertion. The vocal scooping and ambiguous extra notes give this effect.

that said, it's a pretty small deal, and can be chalked up to style. Nice song!

Something I have noticed in the past, though I don't think it's the problem here, is that my voice is really used to singing in A-440, and even if the guitar is in tune to itself but it's not in tune to A-440, I will have trouble singing. One time my tuner got set to A-439, and even that small of a difference made me feel like I was singing sharp a lot of the time. Just slightly sharp, but once I realized what the problem was and reset the tuner, it was much easier to record a vocal track and hit the notes.

Again, I don't think that's the issue here, but it seemed like a useful contribution to the discussion...

Charles (KA)