The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Juliet's Happy Dagger is noah mclaughlin and lalabrookie

The only French I know is "café au lait" and "s'il vous plaît,"
"Parlez-vous anglais" and "Je ne sais pas."
All those "useful" things that aren't so much
When a tall glass of Cabernet sits beside you on the plane

Tout mon anglais ne suffirait à décrire
Comment ses yeux agissent sur mon âme
Mais c'est sa voix plutôt qui me rend totalement fou
Elle parlait toute à l'heure et on dirait un ange...

[All of my English would never be enough to describe
How her eyes move my soul
But it's her voice that really drives me mad
She was speaking a moment ago, and it seemed angelic]

Comment dire?
What to say?
Un simple mot...
I don't know, but I think -
Mais je crois -
I think I might -
Je crois aussi que je -
- Salut
- Hi

The only French I learned will never get this right
But I can't fuck this up; it's a six-hour-long flight
Am I ready for this? I don't even know what this is
Am I ready to kiss him?

Tout mon anglais ne menerait jusqu'à ses pieds
Toutes les bêtises que j'ai commises déjà
Comment tendre la main, ô pourquoi est-ce que
La couleur de ses joues me fait de choses pareilles ?

[All of my English wouldn't even get up to her feet
All of the missteps I've already made
How to reach out, oh why does
The color of her cheeks do these things to me?]

Comment dire?
What to say?
Un simple mot...
I don't know, but I think -
Mais je crois -
I think I might -
Je crois aussi que je -
- You're from ...
- Lyon. Et toi?
- Cleveland.

The only French I know will never be enough
But all of my English fails me, too
Can he see through my eyes, deep inside
What is this tongue we've found?

Tout mon anglais ne suffirait jamais
Mais mon français m'a également failli
Peut-elle me voir derrière les yeux, ô cieux !
Quelle est cette nouvelle langue ?

[Pretty much the same, just flip "English" and "French"]

- Oui, je te comprends
- I understand you, too
- Est-ce que tu m'aimes ?
- I do

Back in '67 when LBJ was president
I was fresh out of high school and most likely to be sent
Off to Vietnam to join the fight against the reds
Get PT stress, come home a mess, or maybe come home dead.
But then I heard about a place up north where
peaceful men could go,
And that's where I learned the only French I know.

It's funny, because Vietnam was a French colony;
Somehow we took over, I don't know all the history
But I was not a killer, and I was not about to start -
I objected conscientiously with all my heart.
And the day I got my notice was the day I had to go
To the place where I learned the only French I know.

Au revior, America, I'm headin' up the road;
When you come to your senses, maybe I'll come marchin' home.
And I won't be alone.

Now, I salute the volunteers, our modern fighting men
But 40-50 years ago, things were different then.
And when I talk with friends of mine who only half returned
I wonder why we went there, and I wonder what we've learned.
So... pardon my language, but when I'm about to blow
I tend to break into the only French I know.

(God dammit) I break into the only French I know.
(This is bullshit!) I break into the only French I know...

For the record... I graduated from high school in 1970 and dropped out of college in 1971, while the war was still on and Nixon was president. I had a low enough lottery number that I would have been drafted if Nixon hadn't ended the war, and if I had been drafted, I would not have gone off to Canada; in fact, our church pastor had asked me if I wanted him to write a letter to help me get a C.O. deferment and I didn't feel like I could honestly have done that. So this song is about things I lived through, but it's not about things that I did myself.

The Only French I Know by Johnny Cashpoint
Vocal, keyboard, guitar - j$
Drums, bass - Andy Balham

A true story. Kinda.

The only French I know
I learnt from a porno
Bought it years ago
From a basement in Soho
A scratchy VHS from a
Dubious address - and I
Wore that tape to death, now
French is all that I have left, yes
The porno is long gone
That shop‘s now a salon, but
I still go to France, when-
Ever there’s the chance.

You might be surprised, by
How you can get by, when the
Only French you know is for
“Plumber”, “Hot” and “Blow.” Yes, a
Massive francophile, can
Get by with a smile,
Fast-forward through the fluff,
Slo-mo repeat good stuff.
See, all the French I know
Are well inclined to go for
V.O.* bedroom fun -
God bless the foreign tongue.
ooh, la la!

The only French I know
I learnt from a porno
Twenty years ago
Pre-condom Cadinot

*V.O. - Version Originale - films in their original language, subtitled not dubbed.

The Only French I Know - Paco del Stinko

Lawrence sent them to me - And I took all of their money
Thawing out from the cold - They find us to be sunny
Bring us your cash then get going fast

The only French I know, don't come from France

I see your Fleur de Lis - And I smile inside
I could give your tongue back to you - But I've never tried
You struggle and moan while I wish you'd go home

The only French I know, don't come from France

Go eat your fried dough - And move slow in your Speedo
I know now we're a bargain - But I still wish you would go
From this moment forth I bid you go north

The only French I know, don't come from France

Don't get me wrong - I mean you no harm
My bark may be strong - But I know I could charm
We're really the same - And though I've been terse
I know of the pain - When our roles are reversed

The Only French I Know
by Billy and the Psychotics
DJ ranger Den - vocals
Paco del Stinko - lead guitar
Ken Mahru - drums
BLT - rhythm guitar, bass

You say you've heard me this way all before though
…damned if I do. damned if I don't ..know

i'm on a deadline like i gotta catch a plane
but you already know the end of my movie anyway

CH
maybe you'll let it slide
if i can't do it this time
and i'll apologize
...je suis désolé
I am your stereotype
your money shot, your cherry pie
The only French I know,
coming in right on time

I find my self in these situations all the time;
and I'm thinking - why should i try?
I don't feel french in front of the lights:
On the camera you're a lover
but off, you're just another guy!

Maybe you'll let it slide
if i don't show up this time
hell i'll apologize
...je suis désolé
maybe i'm not your type
(we all know what you like!)
The only French I know
is how to kiss goodbye

BR
in a dream
you're so sorry
for games we played
sticky serenades
but you tricked me
from the beginning
but you say
hey, babe
that's reality
"isn't love a double edged razor blade?"

The whores on the Rue Saint-Deni know
what it's like to put on the mask for
show and tell
and baby I aim to please as well...
but when a pro becomes an addict they'll play for free,
I hear tell..

So maybe let me slide ..
for all those extra times
Why should I explain?
je suis désolé
but i'll apologize
for your pack of lies
The only French I know
is how to kiss goodbye

Maybe you'll let it slide
if i can't work it this time -
pornography will survive
...je suis désolé
That's all i need to say
I gotta catch a plane
The only French I know
...is adios