Scratch it, it smells like bacon (Pig Sticker Reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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Scratch it, it smells like bacon (Pig Sticker Reviews)

Post by erik » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:03 pm

mmmmmmmmmmm
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Post by Daj Werkenhorse 1 » Fri Mar 25, 2005 1:40 pm

Yes. That is what I'm speaking of.
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OMFG 1st review LOLZoRZ! !!1!OMG!!!1

Post by phatcactus » Sat Mar 26, 2005 6:51 pm

My very first review ever. I love you all, but you need to work on distorting guitars without making them sound like broken glass.

Minty Handy: Too cute. TOO CUTE. *Puke* in a very good way.

Daj Werkenhorse: I could really get into this if it didn't sound like a warehouse. Squealing vocals are fun. I imagine stuffed animals hanging out in a huge empty warehouse doing drugs together. It's kinda cute. Good length.

Luke Henley: I've always felt that organs are incredibly sexy. Turns out organs with noise and crap on top are even sexier. Thank you for opening up this new world to me. The extreme volume changes are annoying, and sometimes I think your organ is so loud it's distorting my (crappy) headphones, but it goes well with the "I'm too quiet to hear" thing you've got goin'. Great ending.

WreckdoM: I feel underwater. I don't know what the hell's going on. Vocals could be clearer. Cool sounds goin' on, but you sound bored.

Ratt Poison (Nigo): Whoa, more cool sounds. Sitars get me hot. Metal-distortion-guitars do not. Cool, but too long. Cool ending. Now it just got all fucked up and I like it again. Reminds me of the Locust trying to be heavy. Except I really like the Locust. I only kinda liked this.

P.S. Ratt and Poison are my two least-favorite bands ever.
P.P.S. This is not an instrumental.

Other White Noise: I don't like songs about how awesome people are. I don't like tough guy music. I can't rate this fairly. I'll never get past the Metallica voice, and thus, memories of the football team. It might be cool. I couldn't tell ya. Best of luck.

Johnny Cashpoint: I like it lots. But I could do without the distortion on the guitar. Sounds like a dremel router on maple.

Grand Hotel: Sounds like the 80s. Your guitar distortion makes me sad too. The song reminds me of a punk rock band I used to see a lot. Not that that's a bad thing.

The Special Relatives (ME): Im bummed that I didn't record any really cool nonsense guitar, but oh well. Fun times.
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Post by nyjm » Sat Mar 26, 2005 7:55 pm

pig sticker

daj werkenhorse
- ok, how about concentrating on making one GOOD song? hell, i'll settle for listenable.
- the vocal harmonies are awful
- not funny, just bad

grand hotel
- grinding guitar seems out of place in the verse, ruins the mood
- i want more oomph from your voice; sing it like you mean it
- interesting "hotel of the rising sun" breakdown; kinda like it
- i do like the bass work

johnny cashpoint
- these are some disturbing lyrics
- rock out some more on the chorus

luke henley
- i'd be interested in hearing why you chose to arrange the song like this. i don't really like it at all, but it's an interesting arrangement choice

minty handy
- love these lyrics!
- it would be interesting to hear this produced a bit more; there's a wealth of humor as yet unplumbed here

other white noise
- green jello did this a while ago...
- recorded live? would like to hear the vocals more
- boring

ratt poizon
- i don't think this is the right song (nigo? very good?)... well, there being no such band or song title in the archives, perhaps this is the right song; if this doesn't apply, then just ignore me
- there's too much going on on the vocal level; the various parts compete rather than compliment each other
- perhaps this could benefit from a little more focus; less sampling and few layers
- THE DEVIL JUST TOOK OVER MY COMPUTER! good god... what's with that part after 4:00? that's almost as scary as last week's x-tokyo-river-god...

the special relatives
- like the loping rhythm
- good sound use (the crickets and all)

wreckdom
- weird opening, and it just gets weirder
- this is pretty wild, almost beck-like in the way it jumps from genre to genre

i feel bad saying that nothing really jumps out at me from this category, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. after some mulling, i'm going with minty handy for the smile it gave me. ah, i remember those days...
"You sound like the ghost of David Bowie." - SchlimminyCricket | it was a pleasure to burn | my website | Juliet's Happy Dagger
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Re: OMFG 1st review LOLZoRZ! !!1!OMG!!!1

Post by j$ » Sat Mar 26, 2005 8:36 pm

phatcactus wrote:Sounds like a dremel router on maple.
I have no idea what this is, but it sounds super-cool :) Could you please elucidate?

BTW, I was going for Warsaw-era Joy Division on the guitar, FWIW ....

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Post by jack » Sat Mar 26, 2005 9:02 pm

a dremel tool is this cool little tool used for woodcarving and stuff. routing is carving. and maple is wood.
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Post by MintyHandy » Sat Mar 26, 2005 9:22 pm

Ratt Poison

+++ Nice percussion opening, drew me in
--- Can't hear your voice unless I turn it up to the point of pain
+++ Very compelling moments when I can actually hear you
+++ Sitar, baby, sitar
--- Who changed the radio to the metal station?
/// Not particularly cohesive, and a bit tedious, but fun in spots

Minty Handy

I wrote this in ten minutes, did a reference take with my wife clapping, then decided to submit it as-is so that I could get work done last weekend. I hope it makes you laugh more than it makes you cringe (some flat notes in there, boy howdy, and I'll never sing in a "kid" voice again)

Wreckdom

+++ Okay, you're creeping me out. Stop that. (shudder)
--- Those lyrics would work with a Les Claypool delivery, but like this it's uncompelling
--- "Gawwwn"
/// More gimmick than song, but some fun gimmick at that

Dajwerkenhorse

+++ The Tiger Lillies say hello
+++ By the second "Pig Sticker" I was grinning ear-to-ear
+++ Short and sweet
/// No idea what the lyrics mean, but...Piiiig Stiiiicker...Piiiig Stiiiicker...aagh! Earworm!
/// Reminds me conceptually of Ween's "Poop Ship Destroyer"

Grand Hotel

--- Ouch, the bassist needs lessons
--- And a tuner
+++ Otherwise, a typical 80s Goth-wannabe song
--- Doesn't go anywhere

Luke Henley

+++ Something tells me this is going to go somewhere
--- But it doesn't, not really
/// Is there any escape from noise?

The Special Relatives

+++ My ears like this from note number one
+++ Tight and complex arrangement of a simple song
+++ Cricketz are l33t
--- I always like songs to be catchy, and this isn't one of those
/// Overall good soundscape for shuffle, but I'd never listen to it intentionally

Other White Noise

--- One-note wonder
/// White noise usually doesn't have crunchy bits in it like this

Johnny Cashpoint

+++ Another 80s Goth-wannabe song
+++ With fun quotes
+++ Some people don't like his voice, but I do, dunno why, just do
--- Wears out its welcome after a while
+++ Gouging out the offending eye -- ew
+++ Enjoying the whispery part
/// The thong thing, and now the gouging thing...why do you insist on putting these images in my head?

Tough one here, can't make up my mind. Nothing stands fully out and says "embrace me". Johnny Cashpoint, The Special Relatives and Dajwerkenhorse are the fronts for me, though. Hmm...it appears my wife has already registered a vote from our computer (and she said it wasn't for me, dammit), so I can't vote until Monday at work anyway.
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Post by phatcactus » Sat Mar 26, 2005 9:35 pm

jack shite wrote:a dremel tool is this cool little tool used for woodcarving and stuff. routing is carving. and maple is wood.
And a Dremel is quite underpowered for real routing work (cutting channels and such), and maple is a relatively hard wood. Weak tool + hard wood = terrible noise (and usually some smoke). I don't know why I assumed anyone would know what that sounds like. Sorry.

And I actually live in a hole, and have never really heard any Joy Division. I will iTunes them pronto.
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Post by Ratt Poizon » Sun Mar 27, 2005 2:27 pm

wow!~ I almost feel like appologizing. I made the RattPoizon song. I Just realized that one of my vocal tracks just cuts in and out randomly and sounds terrible! well the song's terrible, so I guess worse than terrible. geez! I guess that's what you get when you drink a case of warm millwaukees best, then try to mix everything down on a giant, confusing 80's tape 8-track.
-I still think the sitar guitar with deathmetal is a perfect match.
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Post by Daj Werkenhorse 1 » Mon Mar 28, 2005 11:10 pm

MintyHandy wrote:[
+++ The Tiger Lillies say hello
Hey, never heard of them.
What kind of music are they?
I dig weird bands if you can tip me toward a few!
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Post by EightLeggedOedipus » Tue Mar 29, 2005 12:06 pm

Daj Werkenhorse
+++ Got a decent swing to it +++
--- Pointless loud hook is really annoying ---

The Grand Hotel
+++ Decently written rock song +++
/// Needs some mixing help, very demo-ey ///
--- Vocal style does not match the rock feel. Keyboard inaudible. Loose timing on all voices ---

Johnny Cashpoint
+++ Hip New Wave intro +++
--- Loose timing on that guitar. ---
+++ I like the lyrics I'm hearing, and the TV sample is well-placed +++
/// Good god, with this rate of output, do you have time for any other life activites? ///

Luke Henley
+++ This is both sweet and creepy. definitely your best since Prep School +++

Minty Handy
--- The lyrics are music but still sound rushed and forced. ---
+++ I like the basic chord, but nothing to write home about +++
/// I like the live-in-the-room feel, but the discussion at the end kind of kills it. ///

The Other White Noise
+++ "I'm not racist, I hate everyone the same" +++
--- Poor man's Wreckdom ---

Ratt Poizon
/// Why does this show up as Nigo - Very Good My Friends in the ID tag? ///
--- Slow boring ---

The Special Relatives
+++ Damn, I was expecting poop from you, but this awesome! +++
/// I could do without the talkover, but it's unoffensive ///

WreckdoM
--- Wreckdom vs. a theremin with backwards vocals ---
/// Now we're kind of going somewhere, but not fast enough ///
+++ Holy shit where'd this song come from? Cut the first part entirely and you've got a winner +++
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Post by Niveous » Tue Mar 29, 2005 4:42 pm

Niv's Review Paragraph

Time for more stream of consciousness reviewing. First fight of the day- Pig Sticker. First up, The Other White Noise. Bad Metallica coverband goes to Chinatown, gets drunk, records, sends to SF, forgets the next day hopefully. I know I'll forget this tomorrow because it's not even offering up humor for me. Just guitar and yuck. Next. Oh, it's J$ time. And the J$ rock revolution continues. Last year, he was much more techno. This year, check out that guitar. Not digging the drum sample at all. "Gouging out the offending eye" is a superb lyric, so is "disconnect from the world's serrated edge". Making me jealous. My school violence song "Dead Kids at Degrassi" pales in comparison. Yet again, J$, I kowtow to your brilliance. Contender. Next, Daj Werkenhouse. Why did you enter this? Do you have a lot of pride in this tune? Or is it very hilarious to you? You guys if you tried could make a real contender if you wanted to. Try next time. Next, Minty Handy. Festooned- Vocabulary point. College dorm room recording hijinx. But I can't help but bop to it. High fun factor makes for a good tune. What the???? Next song just started. Grand Hotel. Gothy lyrics appease my darkside. But it's very sloppy. A minute longer than it needs to be. Potential is there but it's not working this week. Next Wreckdom. And I guess lightning isn't striking twice. It's the sounds of inside of a beehive. But I appreciate something different and experimental. Gets a little repetitive for a moment. And what's with the crying? Getting funky at the end. Schizo song doesn't work for me. Next,Luke Henley. "This is Future Bear" is gonna be some fucking album. Yes, clipping to the max. I thought you'd gone soft there for a sec, or at least did it up like your Red Balloon stuff (which rocks by the way). That was ok. Not great but ok. Next, The Special Relatives. I adored last week's song and I hear a bit if it hidden in this week's tune. Hmmm. That was mighty short and that'll cost ya. It wasn't enough to leave a lasting impression. Nigo is up next. What's up with the tag? Nevermind, if I run through the review thread I'll probably find the answer. It's very well done, but as interesting as watching Byron Allen. And it's so long. It's just dragging and dragging. Oh, I see that Nigo is actually Ratt Poizon. Nice try but it lacks feeling. Oh wait, what's this at the 4 minute mark. Aggression but still no feeling. This might as well be done with TTS with how little humph there is behind the vocals. I'm done here. Vote time. My vote's for Cashpoint, with Minty Handy a close second and Henley third.
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Post by MintyHandy » Wed Mar 30, 2005 11:57 am

Daj, The Tiger Lillies are...well, best to just point you there: http://www.tigerlillies.com/2003/index.php
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Post by Dan Wrekenhaus 2 » Wed Mar 30, 2005 12:29 pm

MintyHandy wrote:Daj, The Tiger Lillies are...well, best to just point you there: http://www.tigerlillies.com/2003/index.php
Daj, this is the first group that popped into my head when I heard your song. You might find it interesting at least..
http://www.pastemusic.com/product/188
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Post by Richard WreckdoM » Wed Mar 30, 2005 1:18 pm

Reviewing again. If only everyone would.

Minty Handy:
Live recording...How many takes did you have to do? I don't really understand what's going on here. This seems like it could be something that kids would enjoy if It was geared a little more toward them. Minimalistic with most attention on the vocals isn't really my thing. In my version of hell, it's a lot like songfight. The musicians play the same chord progressions in the same time with different "witty" lyrics each week. This isn't bad, but it's nothing that I'll ever feel compelled to listen to again.

Daj Werkenhorse:
Sounds like you're having fun. That's very important. Abrupt ending. I can't say that this went anywhere. I'm not sure where the lyrics came from or where they went. The sound is pretty good though. With a little more focus this could be something.

Johnny Cashpoint:
I could stand to have this mix stand out a bit more. The vocals are way out on top. "Gouging out the offending eye." I suddenly don't want to say anything offensive. This appeals to me a bit more than most of the Cashpoint Hits. Really. Put down the Pig Sticker.

Luke Henley:
Hubbaduh? It's a funeral turned Industrial Dance Party. Something that I think would be a smooth transition. They're essentially the same thing. The volume fluctuation on the organ could be much smoother. I'm not really sure how the title fits in here. You capture some sort of Mid Life Crisis feel here. Good job on being so bizarre.

WreckdoM:
I didn't have all that much to do with this WreckdoM song, but I like it that there's more inspiration here than one song can handle. I did try some new tricks on the final mix. I tried to make it feel like you were there. Tied up. Being forced to listen. Struggling. I like listening to it on Bose headphones. I think that it sounds clean; very clean.

The Grand Hotel:
Not to be discouraging. This singing style just seems that it could better lend itself to a different sort of music. That guitar is asking for something more intense. It really starts to come together about 4/5 into the song. If it could have started more like that, it probably would grab more attention. Then it's just a matter of holding it.

The other White Noise:
This sounds like it's recorded on a computer mic from across the room. Is the mic in the computer case actually? I think I hear the processor fan. Recorded live I take it. I just find it impossible to believe that this is a mix down. "Do you have illegal weapons?" This sounds like you had a good time. You're Awesome!

Ratt Poizon:
I'm a fan of the insane, and this is so far pleasing. This song successfully recreates the feeling of walking through neck deep jello. For some reason though, the temperature is not consistent in the giant warehouse full of jello, so you'll hit places where it is warm and has the consistency of water, then extremely thick parts. Hey, who's been pissing in the jello?! This started out seeming alright, but it sort of drags on. I doubt I'll listen again. Thanks.

The Special Relatives:
Quality mix. Nice recording as well. I have little to say about this song. It's short and doesn't offend. I like what's been done with the cricket noise. I'm not too sure what the pig sticker is in this one. It is mentioned, but I don't know how well the title was used in this one.

Quick Fight. Not much in here with solid winner potential. I will probably end up voting for WreckdoM. I know it's lame, but I really like it best. Is there something pretentious about that? Lame perhaps? Probably, but I don't care.
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Post by phatcactus » Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:08 pm

Richard WreckdoM wrote:The Special Relatives:
Quality mix. Nice recording as well. I have little to say about this song. It's short and doesn't offend. I like what's been done with the cricket noise. I'm not too sure what the pig sticker is in this one. It is mentioned, but I don't know how well the title was used in this one.
Thank you (all of you) for the comments. I'm not gonna explain the whole song (I managed to fit a whole lot of crazy crap in a minute and a half, which is why I didn't make it any longer), but I'll tell ya that the adhesive on the pig stickers is laced with LSD! And at the end (or middle or beginning; the song doesn't go in order), all the cops (pigs) die (stabbed?).

I am just unbearably clever.
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Post by j$ » Wed Mar 30, 2005 6:32 pm

Das Werkjenhorse - good potential here, musically, but lyrically trying too hard to be wacky, imo. Vocal just trips over that line between novel and novelty and then thinks 'ah well, might as well not take it seriously'. So I won't.

Grand Hotel - Shame about the mix because there is a great Dead Kennedies song stuck in there somewhere. I quite like the vocal even through it's a bit watery. Nice lo-fi guitar buried too deep - the undulating bass volume is an interesting idea but overall the peaks are too loud and the lows too quiet. Certainly not the worst first sf entry I've heard. (if this is your first, I have that impression but I don't know where from)

Luke Henley - For myself, I'm not particularly interested in having my noise limitations tested. Throbbing Gristle were doing 'keyboard punk' stuff like this nearly 30 years ago, and I am sure they're weren't even the first. Not that that should stop you - tune wise it is really interesting but there's nothing new here, even within the boundaries of your own music universe. The most punk thing you could do next week would be to produce an AOR tune :)

Minty Handy - cute. Not enjoying the giggling though, I don't like 'look what fun we're having' type songs or 'fake live' songs generally. It's just a personal thing, mind ... I guess it's just a doodle, but enjoyable for what it was. And (in retrospect) it was an enjoyable change of pace from the rest of the fight.

TOWN - Another good punk song badly recorded. Though I hate the comedy vocals. It's not making me want to be your friend or anything :) Beneath the 'performance' it sounds like you have a good voice. i can't make out the words particularly, unfortunately.

Rattpoizon - This is very enjoyable (but the shaker is a bit too hard panned) for the first two minutes. It doesn't go anywhere at all after that for me. Shame, because as a two minute creep-a-thon, it's great. Exercise a little economy next time, I feel.

Special Relatives - I like the lead vocal a lot - maybe mute the 'backing vocal' and this would be great. As it is, it's entertaining, I like the overall impression a lot - but that extra vocal is not adding anything - if anything it's detracting. Oh, and ditch the unneccessary keyboard at the end - it makes the song noticably 10 seconds too long, for me anyway ...

Wreckdom - predictable.
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Post by Richard WreckdoM » Wed Mar 30, 2005 8:54 pm

j$ wrote: Wreckdom - predictable.
Now, of all things to say about WreckdoM that could be quite valid, you go with this? Hmmm. Maybe we've just got such a recognizable sound... If you could elaborate, I for one would appreciate the feedback and advice Mr. Cashpoint.
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Post by MintyHandy » Wed Mar 30, 2005 10:20 pm

Live recording...How many takes did you have to do?
I don't like 'look what fun we're having' type songs or 'fake live' songs generally.
Yeah, I really set myself up for this feedback, which is (obviously, if you've listened to the song) completely valid...

For what it's worth, it's neither a 'fake live' take nor the second or third or fourth take -- I literally wrote it in ten minutes, and when my wife walked in the door, I had her clap to it while I recorded primarily as a reference track so I wouldn't forget the melody while recording the initial chords (and secondarily to amuse her, because she'd not heard it yet, hence the "I'm singing like a child" voice). So all the giggling and whatnot is an actual reflection of the fun we were having...it's a bubbly little household we have 'round here.

But, like I said, I opened myself up for this feedback, because I hit stop on the reference recording, then thought "aw, hell, I'm just going to submit this and get some work done this weekend". So I knew I'd take heat for it. If I'd listened to it before submitting it (other than to fade in and out) I probably wouldn't have submitted it. But the song itself I'm having trouble getting out of my head, so maybe it's a success there.

It will be interesting to see if the first-take performance and giggling and whatnot are enough to sabotage any votes it might have gotten -- heh.
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Post by Daj Werkenhorse 1 » Thu Mar 31, 2005 11:13 am

j$ wrote:Das Werkjenhorse - good potential here, musically, but lyrically trying too hard to be wacky, imo. Vocal just trips over that line between novel and novelty and then thinks 'ah well, might as well not take it seriously'. So I won't.

.
This is kinda funny on a couple levels.

1 - We don't have to try hard to be wacky (and we don't even drink!)
2 - Novelty: That's more relevant then you may understand!

:lol:
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Post by Dan Wrekenhaus 2 » Thu Mar 31, 2005 11:21 am

Daj Werkenhorse 1 wrote:
j$ wrote:Das Werkjenhorse - good potential here, musically, but lyrically trying too hard to be wacky, imo. Vocal just trips over that line between novel and novelty and then thinks 'ah well, might as well not take it seriously'. So I won't.

.
This is kinda funny on a couple levels.

1 - We don't have to try hard to be wacky (and we don't even drink!)
2 - Novelty: That's more relevant then you may understand!

:lol:
Take caution with these sorts of comments, inside jokes don't seem to go well here, unless the predefined clique is in on them.
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