we need (Everybody Now 'to give' reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
Poor June
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we need (Everybody Now 'to give' reviews)

Post by Poor June »

so the show must go on...
"You haven't been really bad in a long time." - jim of seattle

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Kapitano
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Post by Kapitano »

What We Need More Of Is Reviews.
<a href="http://kapitano.me.uk/">Kapitano's Site of Musical Stuff (Under Construction)</a>
Poor June
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Post by Poor June »

sounds like a possible future title
"You haven't been really bad in a long time." - jim of seattle

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nyjm
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Post by nyjm »

everybody now

Andy Balham ft. Sarah Beanz
- ooh, i like your voice; if i wrote you a song, would you sing it?
- kind of cheesy feel-good lyrics, but i really like the melody
CONTENDER

ants (invisible)
- great 60's rock vibe with the clapping percussion and the chorus backing vocals
- like the keyboard parts
- EPIC CHORUS! that was great, but(and? b/c?) it really made me laugh
the chorus makes it: CONTENDER

bile
- work on smoothing out your vocals out and back off the mic
- the super echo on the chorus doesn't do anything but make me alertnately strain and whince
- the drum machine just doesn't work with the guitars

daj werkenhorse
- like it better than your "systematic panic", but does this go anywhere?

the 'over
- is that a ukelele or a mandolin? it's pretty
- a neat little appalachian vibe
- until the overdriven guitars kick in; that was weird
- i like the "cool hand luke" bit, but g'n'r did get to it first...

edge of la
- i like your lyrics; thanks for posting them early
- great guitar riffing here
- good vocal melody, but maybe you could make it a bit riskier
- the ending: HAHA! more cowbell! HAHA!
CONTENDER

father bingo
- drums seem a little out of time
- i kind like the way this grooves, tho
- seems like you just got bored or ran out of ideas at the end

noah mclaughlin
- the intro and outro is the preschool playground below my apartment; yeah, it's french
- took me like five million takes to get the first verse vocal you're getting; still not quite right
- simultaneously channeling leonard cohen (vocals), tori amos (lyrics) and kurt cobain (guitar); this was supposed to be a lot faster

poor june
- the backwards guitar part is interesting, but doesn't always work, especially during the chorus
- i do like the guitar tone, though; works really well
- at 2:23, i'm still waiting for something really cool to happen... it never does

son of supercar
- feels out of kilter; this seems intentional, but can you keep this up for 4:00 minutes?
- needs to be tightened up, especially the chorus; too many time changes
- sounds like a soundgarden jam session/outtake

tubatoothpaste
- cute; not much musically, but after some normal ranting the lyrics get really reall really funny
- "and you behaved because it was big and you were small"; haha!
- the tuba in polite company!

vaesitrum
- ooh, i like you voice, too; can i write you a song? ;-)
- the verse is really nice, but the chorus doesn't grab me; seems to be from a different song

damn, this is really close, but i'm going to go with ants (invisible) who get just a few more cool points for taking on the optional challenge (and pulling it off).
"You sound like the ghost of David Bowie." - SchlimminyCricket | it was a pleasure to burn | my website | Juliet's Happy Dagger
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Jim of Seattle
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Post by Jim of Seattle »

Thanks for the vote, nyjm! Welcome. You're one of the few real live Europeans we have around here. How cool is that.
Here's my record label page thingie with stuff about me if you are so interested: https://greenmonkeyrecords.com/jim-of-seattle/
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Post by nyjm »

Jim of Seattle wrote:Thanks for the vote, nyjm! Welcome. You're one of the few real live Europeans we have around here. How cool is that.
you're quite welcome. the whole chorus part just had me applauding.

funny thing is, i'm as american as they come; just studying in france for the year. come june i'll be plunking back to PA.
"You sound like the ghost of David Bowie." - SchlimminyCricket | it was a pleasure to burn | my website | Juliet's Happy Dagger
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Post by MintyHandy »

Ants (Invisible)

--- A little trouble getting into the rock-out part...
+++ But I'm glad you got there, welcome to fun!
+++ Very original, nice choice on "miss the train" and similar
+++ Always a fan of the organ
+++ Hooky chorus
/// Great harmonies, great energy, Devo meets 60s Psychadelic meets They Might Be Giants
/// By the end I feel like I've listened to three different songs, all good

The 'Over

--- Feels a bit pretentious
+++ But pleasant and jangly enough
--- Gets tedious, no real hook or melody to catch ahold of
+++ So I keep myself to myself/living in this cubbyhole
/// Overused choice of sample, but very interesting way of cutting it up
/// Sorry to hear you're in trouble again, hope it works out

Andy Balham featuring Sarah Beanz

+++ Sarah has a lovely voice
--- But it is also very dispassionate
--- Guitar has many poorly played (or chosen) chords, very distracting
--- Same goes for the bass, and some awkward tempo wandering
+++ But when well-played, very nice song indeed
--- Fate rhymed with wake, or in fact just the word fate at all
/// Get this band some more rehearsal time, and stick Sarah with a pin until she gets frustrated

Vae Sitrum

--- Starts out very forgettable
--- Stays that way
+++ But the bassist is giving me something to groove on
+++ Best use of title so far, lyrically
--- Halfway through, felt like song was just starting over

The Bile

--- Flat vocals leave me flat
--- Suddenly, he fell down a well!
--- Percussion awkward and uninspired
+++ But the guitar riff is nice enough, if generic
--- Hey, who let the cat walk on the synthesizer?
/// My kingdom for a couple of extra chords!

Noah McLaughlin

--- Initially not really a song, just someone growling while a guitar plays
--- Strange doubling of voice, considering it's just a single guitar being played
/// Seems like I'm supposed to get meaning from the lyrics, but that's not my bag, so I'll just stop here

Tuba Toothpaste

+++ Tu-ba! Tu-ba! Tu-ba!
+++ Very unique take on the title
--- Gets old after a while; only Tom Waits can get away with a song like this at this length
+++ Tuba solo
/// Get a vocal compressor and pop filter, please, to do your performance justice
/// Song equivalent of a Mad Libs where every blank is filled in by "Everybody Now"
/// Regarding end of song: yep, it sure is, isn't it?

Sonofsupercar

+++ Really unique and dark
+++ Very much enjoying the percussion choices here
--- Vocals well produced, but not as compelling as I'd like them to be to carry this off
/// Not really my cup of tea, but for people who like this kind of song, it's really well done
/// Makes me long for Les Claypool to take it over and run with it

Poor June

--- Too much bass in the vocal, made it hard to hear without turning it up until the guitars hurt a bit
--- Too much dischord for me to find it listenable
/// The vocals and dischord might be justified in the lyrics, but I couldn't figure it out -- probably just me missing something

Edge of LA

+++ Strong right out of the box
+++ Very much what the kids are listening to these days
--- Those quiet breaks need to be tighter and have much stronger drum and bass to carry it off
--- Ouch! That chord hurts my head for some reason (that one you repeat without vocals)
+++ Mostly a very competent song
/// Doesn't particularly grab me, but pretty good overall

Father Bingo

+++ Shadowy Men On A Shadowy Planet vibe
--- Song stops working for me right when lyrics start, though not necessary because of the vocal delivery
+++ Child's piano nicely used
/// Reminds me of a song we had in a college band, called "No Bikes on Roadway" -- we played anything we wanted for a few minutes, then stopped to allow the singer to shout the title, then played anything we wanted for a few more minutes

Dajwerkenhorse

+++ A nice little soundscape...
--- ...does not a compelling song make
/// Best entry-that-took-five-minutes-to-create in the contest

I'm gonna give it to Ants(Invisible), although there was lots of good stuff here, too many to list.
j$
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Post by j$ »

Jim of Seattle wrote:. You're one of the few real live Europeans we have around here. How cool is that.
I would like to point out that Great Britain is part of Europe. But yes, it's cool to have people on the European mainland! Welcome!
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Father Bingo
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Post by Father Bingo »

MintyHandy wrote:Father Bingo
--- Song stops working for me right when lyrics start, though not necessary because of the vocal delivery
http://mediamogul.seas.upenn.edu/pennso ... t-blue.mp3
from July 28 ... http://www.ubu.com/outsiders/365/07-2.html
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Jim of Seattle
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Post by Jim of Seattle »

j$ wrote:
Jim of Seattle wrote:. You're one of the few real live Europeans we have around here. How cool is that.
I would like to point out that Great Britain is part of Europe. But yes, it's cool to have people on the European mainland! Welcome!
Yes, well that's why I said one of the few instead of "the only".
Here's my record label page thingie with stuff about me if you are so interested: https://greenmonkeyrecords.com/jim-of-seattle/
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Post by Edge of LA »

minty handy:
-- Ouch! That chord hurts my head for some reason (that one you repeat without vocals)

Yeah, at 1:47 :(... I didn't notice that until after I submitted. I fixed that and also changed some of the lyrics and closed the ending sooner here: Everybody Now
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Post by Edge of LA »

Hey Johnny $, is that you on Vae Sitrum? Who is with you? It's sweeet.
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Post by Dan Wrekenhaus 2 »

Dajwerkenhorse

+++ A nice little soundscape...
--- ...does not a compelling song make
/// Best entry-that-took-five-minutes-to-create in the contest
To take it a step further, "Best entry-that-I-made-entirely-with-my-mouth-and-sonic-foundry-in-five-minutes-on-a-three-dollar-computer-mic in the contest." No synthesizers were used in the making of this boring little song, that tends to scare my daughter a little. Thanks all, for even following it through to the end.
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Post by Daj Werkenhorse 1 »

RockAndRollBot wrote:
Dajwerkenhorse

+++ A nice little soundscape...
--- ...does not a compelling song make
/// Best entry-that-took-five-minutes-to-create in the contest
To take it a step further, "Best entry-that-I-made-entirely-with-my-mouth-and-sonic-foundry-in-five-minutes-on-a-three-dollar-computer-mic in the contest." No synthesizers were used in the making of this boring little song, that tends to scare my daughter a little. Thanks all, for even following it through to the end.
RockandRollBot has to the beats to slay the beast.
-Austin
-Low Quality Is My Aural Asthetic.
(SENZA)
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Post by Daj Werkenhorse 1 »

RockAndRollBot wrote:
Dajwerkenhorse

+++ A nice little soundscape...
--- ...does not a compelling song make
/// Best entry-that-took-five-minutes-to-create in the contest
To take it a step further, "Best entry-that-I-made-entirely-with-my-mouth-and-sonic-foundry-in-five-minutes-on-a-three-dollar-computer-mic in the contest." No synthesizers were used in the making of this boring little song, that tends to scare my daughter a little. Thanks all, for even following it through to the end.
RockandRollBot has to the beats to slay the beast.
-Austin
-Low Quality Is My Aural Asthetic.
(SENZA)
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Post by thehipcola »

Everybody gets 2 listens. Trying to give a bit more
detail in reviews, so some of the thoughts are just typed
as they pop into my head.

-------------------------------


Andy Balham feat. Sarah Beanz
This is alright. Nice positive message. The intro is
weak. It doesn't flow to the verse well. The mix is
working pretty good. Nice voice, but it sounds like
Sarah isn't lettin' it all out. At times the track
loosens up tempo-wise, which is distracting, it needs to
be tight to rock. It's lethargic feeling. This is
possibly a drum programming/performance issue. imo there
could be a better dynamic build into the chorus, and the
chorus needs a little kick. It's a good framework for a
chorus, but it isn't shining just yet.
songwriting: 8/12
production: 8/12
performances: 7/12
would I listen again?-I guess so.

Ants(Invisible)
This is quiet out of the gate. Very showtunish. Like the
use of the title. Wow..huge power chorus toward the end.
I'm impressed again by your musical sense and agility
structure-wise. I'm underwhelmed by some of the vocal
bending you use to marry those 'themes' together. Let's
put that in perspective...you are impressive in your
abilities and what you are trying to do. I'm just not
sure it always hits the mark. The mix is flat. It seems
like it clips at times. This tune needs some air and
some brightness. I love the instrumentation, though I
thought I heard guitar sounds played like a
keyboard...please tell me it ain't so! Fun song, very
capable writing. I'm hard on you because you are very
talented.
songwriting: 10/12
production: 9/12 (points lost for mix)
performances: 10/12
would I listen again?: definitely

The Bile
Drum programming needs a little ....help. Clipping
vocals are a big no no...to me anyways. Chord
progression is throwawayish. You can't have boring drums
and boring guitars and boring vocals. ;) The buried
vocalverb is kind of interesting. Guitar sound isn't
half bad, I've heard much worse. And then we get to
multitrack insanity. You lost me there. Sounds like the
first time you recorded anything. Keep it up...but try
to stay focused.
songwriting: 4/12
production: 3/12
performances: 4/12
would I listen again?: no

Daj Werkenhorse
You don't really expect me to review this, do you? [edit] I just read that you did it in five minutes with your mouth. NOTICE: I need a minumum of 10 minutes worth of effort to give a review. I'd like to see what you could do if you spent some QT on an entry. Maybe next time
songwriting: 0/12
production: 2/12 the looping was alright
performances: 0/12
would I listen again?-no

David Over
Like the use of the title. I like that you really try
with the harmonies. The guitar playing is nice for the
most part. The mix is odd, the spoken vocals
particularly sound out of place. The main lead guitar
over the distorted section is too hot. You lose points
for using the same sample that GNR used. Of all the
sample possibilities out there, why on earth would you
use that one? The song itself is ok structure wise, but
wuddup with the ending? It didn't make musical sense to
me. I hear progression from previous entries, which is
great. Keep it up!
songwriting: 6/12
production: 7/12
performances: 7/12
would I listen again?-no

Edge of LA
That same programmed crash cymbal sucks. Find some
different samples, or use different instances of that
one, pitch them slightly different, pan them around. Not
a big fan of the cowbell..doesn't seem to fit. You have
a pitch issue, maybe try not doubling your voice. I'd
suggest tracking with one ear out of your headphones, and
maybe if you use a computer, try throwing an autotuner as
an insert to sing with..you'll naturally try to avoid out
of tune singing. The mix is muddy, but not bad for the
type of music. Drum programming is solid but not
interesting. But good enough for me not to focus on the
programming (except the cymbal). Ha ha..I don't like the
ending, but it's funny. I would not recommend more
cowbell. Your voice is kind of flat sonically, more
sizzle might sharpen it up and make it a little clearer.
I think you need to explore better use of the stereo
field. That will help your mixes alot. A solid track
though, but a tad uninteresting.
songwriting: 7/12
production: 8/12
performances: 8/12
would I listen again?-probably not


Father Bingo
This is cool, like Tortoise kind of cool. I dislike the
use of samples, and wish there was some vocal action. I
like the drum track. After the 2nd time through, I
figure you all have more musical talent than is apparent
from a single listen. Ok...I change my mind on one
sample, the "everybody, everybody" sample works well.
But it's no substitute for vocals. The
disappearing-into-stereo-enhancer-after-the-reverb
sounding bits are kind of cool because you used it
sparingly. I would have only done it once. Lofi,
creative, needs vocals. Mix is awright. Drum track sells
it.
songwriting: 9/12
production: 9/12
performances: 8/12
would I listen again?-yes

Noah Mclaughlin
It's pronounced eee-nun-see-ay-shun. I understood 3
words in the first 3 phrases. What's with the kids in
the b/g, was that deliberate? Double tracking vocals is
tricky business...don't settle for less than good takes.
If you do, flaws are obvious. I'm not a big fan of the
way you use your voice, it's kind of metal singer doing
acoustic pieceish. The song is slow, and doesn't draw me
in, probably more to do with the mumbled vox than
anything else. Musically it isn't really grabbing me
either. Standard progression for the most part.
Clipping vocals...big pet peeve. Keep it up Noah, it'll
come. AHHH..the kids...are they the Everybody you got to
get away from? Got it now.
songwriting: 6/12
production: 6/12
performances: 7/12
would I listen again?-no

Poor June
Oooh...nice reverse guitar bit at the beginning. Rolloff
some bass from your voice to lose some of that livingroom
recording sound. Try it around 180hz. I can't wait to
hear you record with everyone out of the house so you can
RIP IT UP AND GET LOUD. The reverse stuff around 1:00
doesn't work as well..some dissonant stuff going on in
there. Main guitar sounds alright, if underplayed like
you're being quiet. The song needs more stuff to move it
along for verses after the first. It's too empty and I
can't make out the words well enough to walk with it. I
like that you are trying some creative production
stuff..keep exploring! I think if you focus on making
your voice sound clearer, your songs will present better.
songwriting: 7/12
production: 7/12
performances: 6/12
would I listen again?-no

sonofsupercar
Hey, nice to see SoS back around here.Wow, what a durge. I like the rising crescendo bits. The drums have an interesting middy punch. The highs are sizzly, but not hifi..cool. The main vox are nice and
clear, but sound over VW'd or somthing. I like the
groove at 1:45. I like the singers voice in this track.
There's alot of wanky noise going on which detracts from
what could be a more solid tune. It's cool from a noise
experiment kind of perspective. I'm sure buried beneath
the noise is a great guitar player, but I'm challenged to
find him beneath the wank. The song is really dark and
dirty, and doesn't really do it for me as a song, but
there are elements I really dug about the recording and
production.
songwriting: 7/12
production: 8/12
performances: 9/12
would I listen again?-no

Tuba Toothpaste
I like the tuba. Dislike the narrative. Drum loop is
too mechanical for me. Not feeling this at all. Sorry.
Mix is ok, for the few tracks. Love the last 15 seconds.
songwriting: 6/12
production: 7/12
performances: 6/12
would I listen again?-no

Vae Sitrum
I like the electric piano in the intro. The vox are way
too effected. 2nd use of the title as the end of a
sentence..hmm. I don't really like that. No reason, just
don't. BAcking vox are not always in tune. You have nice
character to your voice, so track and retrak it 'till
it's right. Hey, nice job on busting out of the 2 part
trap. I like the bridge..it needs more vision, but it
works. By vision I mean differentiation from the rest of
the song. The mix is ok..I can hear everything and it
seems to be well balanced. I like the snare sound,
dislike the crash. Try sending it to a different output
and apply seperate processing to get it more natural
sounding. Overall, an pretty good sounding song that
doesn't really grab me. But it made me feel kind of sad.
songwriting: 7/12
production: 8/12
performances: 7/12
would I listen again?-probably not


----------------------
Thanks for the tunes all!

3-sonofsupercar
2-Father Bingo
1-Ants (Invisible)
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Andy Balham
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Post by Andy Balham »

And now some Easter reviews from the Balham jury. All tracks get at least two listens and for once the second listen is on some decent loudspeakers. Anyway on with the reviewing…

Andy Balham feat. Sarah Beanz (me and Ms. Beanz)
Thanks to Sarah for doing a great job in turning my off-key caterwauling into a melody. Thanks for Stevie Windsor for providing the solo and sparing the listeners of the Balham blues explosion I had prepared. Thanks too to Krissy for inspiring it in the first place.

Ants (Invisible)
I like the dynamic change between the verse and the chorus. The chorus sounds a bit over familiar – always a problem when you’re singing ‘Hey yeah’ I guess – and I found myself getting a little bored with the repetition. An enjoyable listen though and odds on to be the winner.

The Bile
The vocals on the verse are too loud in the mix and are getting clipped. It’s now a minute in and the backing hasn’t changed a jot, so I’m getting bored. Now there’s a little variety, but it doesn’t improve things much.

Daj Werkenhorse
I feel like I’m listening to some sort of mechanical machine operated by a simpleton.

The 'Over
Pretty sounding guitar. Interesting pronunciation of ‘me’ in the chorus, though it sounds a little forced to my ears. The sample kind of works, though I always remember it from the start of ‘Civil War’ by G ‘n’ R.

Edge of LA
This is fun and well produced. I like the little breakdown and the guitar instrumental is simple, but effective. There’s not enough in it for its length though, I suspect you could trim it by almost a minute. Too much cowbell for me too.

Father Bingo
Interesting cacophony, though falls under my category of instrumental. Doesn’t outstay its welcome though.

Noah McLaughlin
Good to hear we have a French Johnny Cash. I like the mood that’s generated, though there’s some recording artefacts in there that detract from my enjoyment. I’m not adverse to the sparse enjoyment, though yet again there’s not enough in it to sustain it’s length. Nice guitar solo and I look forward to hearing more from you.

Poor June
It would be nice to have the lyrics in the archive as I find some of them hard to make out and it sounds like some effort has gone into them. It’s a little melancholy for my taste and, once more, goes on too long with too little variation. Some interesting sounds going on though.

sonofsupercar
I like the aural assault. I’m not sure I would want to listen to a whole album of this, but it has raised me out of my post-meal torpor.

Tuba Toothpaste
I know this is comedy, but I can’t help liking it. There’s a serious message in there too. I once enjoyed seeing the mother of an awful family actually phoning out from a cinema during the film.

Vae Sitrum
This is nicely produced. I prefer the verses to the chorus, they sound just a little too fussy. Nice guitar break after the first chorus and nice tone on it too. A welcome change in pace at around 3:00. This could do with some drum rolls to help the transitions. Yet another entrant who I’m looking forward to hearing from again.

Top three:
Undecided as yet as nothing really grabbed me, so I shall cogitate awhile. Maybe it’s my punk background or my distaste for all things prog, but I keep finding myself criticising songs for their length or lack of variety. Let’s have some key changes folks…
"Some may say I couldn't sing, but none may say I didn't sing" - Florence Foster Jenkins
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Jim of Seattle
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Post by Jim of Seattle »

Andy Balham wrote:Ants (Invisible)
I like the dynamic change between the verse and the chorus. The chorus sounds a bit over familiar – always a problem when you’re singing ‘Hey yeah’ I guess – and I found myself getting a little bored with the repetition.

Maybe it’s my punk background or my distaste for all things prog, but I keep finding myself criticising songs for their length or lack of variety. Let’s have some key changes folks…
Holy crap! I tried really hard NOT to have any key changes this time around, but to just let the repetition rip. My mantra was to let it rock and not dick with it. Try Gin or Ginseng if you're looking for key changes.
Here's my record label page thingie with stuff about me if you are so interested: https://greenmonkeyrecords.com/jim-of-seattle/
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Andy Balham
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Recording Method: Reaper, Guitar Rig LE, Edirol FA-66
Submitting as: Andy Balham, Bobby Davros, The Masters of Grip, MC Heapey
Location: Somewheresville, Englandshire
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Post by Andy Balham »

MintyHandy wrote:Andy Balham featuring Sarah Beanz ... stick Sarah with a pin until she gets frustrated
I've been told not too.
nyjm wrote:kind of cheesy feel-good lyrics
It was inspired by a kind of cheesy feel-good person, so I guess they are appropriate :)
"Some may say I couldn't sing, but none may say I didn't sing" - Florence Foster Jenkins
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Andy Balham
Tamarin
Posts: 263
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 2:18 pm
Instruments: Guitar, bass, ukulele and drums
Recording Method: Reaper, Guitar Rig LE, Edirol FA-66
Submitting as: Andy Balham, Bobby Davros, The Masters of Grip, MC Heapey
Location: Somewheresville, Englandshire
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Post by Andy Balham »

Jim of Seattle wrote:Holy crap! I tried really hard NOT to have any key changes this time around, but to just let the repetition rip.
My plea for variety was not to you Jim. It was directed more towards the four and a half minute boy and guitar songs that go nowhere. It's a little ironic that when I have my little rant you didn't for once have a key change :)
"Some may say I couldn't sing, but none may say I didn't sing" - Florence Foster Jenkins
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jack
Lemur
Posts: 3754
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:41 am
Recording Method: ProTools, Logic, Garageband
Submitting as: brody, Jack Shite, Johnny in the Corner, Bloody Hams, lots more
Location: santa cruz, ca.

Post by jack »

Jim of Seattle wrote: My mantra was to let it rock and not dick with it.
did this come out of Jim of Seattle's figurative mouth?!? :lol:

actually Jim, i really enjoyed your tune. great arrangement but you should talk to obscurity about getting some rockin MIDI guitar patchs....still, stellar production man.
"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure." - Mark Twain
Dan Wrekenhaus 2
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Post by Dan Wrekenhaus 2 »

Daj Werkenhorse
You don't really expect me to review this, do you? [edit] I just read that you did it in five minutes with your mouth. NOTICE: I need a minumum of 10 minutes worth of effort to give a review. I'd like to see what you could do if you spent some QT on an entry. Maybe next time
songwriting: 0/12
production: 2/12 the looping was alright
performances: 0/12
would I listen again?-no
I really would've liked to have spent more time, but this week my time and resources were limited.
Daj Werkenhorse
I feel like I’m listening to some sort of mechanical machine operated by a simpleton.
Close, you're actually listening to an mp3, created by a laptop, operated by a simpleton.
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