The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Unexpected Guest
by Jon Eric

Supposing all of this is random happenstance
Your most important life decisions left to chance
Bad things could happen but we’d never find out how
I wouldn’t know a whole lot less than I know now (about this)

[chorus]
Unexpected guest (Unexpected guest)
Unexpected guest (Unexpected guest)
Unexpected guests don’t get a seat
Unexpected guest (Unexpected guest)
Unexpected guest (Unexpected guest)
Unexpected guests don’t get to eat

So you’re not talking, but I’m here, for what it’s worth
It’s like you vanished from the surface of the earth
And if you told me that I ruined all your plans
I wouldn’t like it but at least I’d understand (that I’m an)

[chorus]

You don’t ever wanna be the one who sees the light first
You don’t ever wanna be the one to do the deed
They’ll complain about rejection, but you’ll feel worse
How quick they will go from loving you to wanting you to bleed

Don’t mind me talking to myself if you can hear
I’m just rehearsing for the day you reappear
You’ve gone one-eighty and decided that I’m yours
It wouldn’t matter if you crawled back on all fours (you’d be an)

[chorus x2]

Unexpected Guest
Genevieve Johnson and The Chiefs
featuring Rabid Garfunkel, Merisan, Abominominominous, Sven Mullet, Jon Eric and MCEricB


Rabid Garfunkel: Introduction

Abominominominous: guitar

Merisan and Genevieve Johnson: Let me in
Rabid Garfunkel: Yeah baby
Merisan and Genevieve Johnson: Let me in
Rabid Garfunkel: Ooh yeah
Merisan and Genevieve Johnson: Let me in
Rabid Garfunkel: Yeah baby
Merisan and Genevieve Johnson: Let me in
Rabid Garfunkel: Check this out

Genevieve Johnson:
I know you weren't expecting me but I'm in your neighbourhood
I had to come and see you baby just because I could
You have this weird effect on me it makes me feel so strange
Every time I see you baby I think I start to change

Merisan and Genevieve Johnson: Let me in
Genevieve Johnson: You make me feel like an animal
Merisan and Genevieve Johnson: Let me in
Genevieve Johnson: I worry for my health
Merisan and Genevieve Johnson: Let me in
Genevieve Johnson: You know you can trust me baby, but I don't know if I can trust myself

Rabid Garfunkel: Check this out

Sven Mullet: guitar
Jon Eric: Voracious carnivore
Rabid Garfunkel: Yo
Genevieve Johnson: at your door
Jon Eric: Voracious carnivore
Rabid Garfunkel: Yo
Genevieve Johnson: at your door, you were't expecting me
Jon Eric: Voracious carnivore
Rabid Garfunkel: Yo
Genevieve Johnson: at your door
Jon Eric: Voracious carnivore
Rabid Garfunkel: Yo
Jon Eric and Genevieve Johnson: Voracious carnivore
Jon Eric and Genevieve Johnson: Voracious carnivore
Jon Eric and Genevieve Johnson: Voracious carnivore
Jon Eric and Genevieve Johnson: Voracious carnivore
Genevieve Johnson: Ah-oooooooooooooooo
Rabid Garfunkel: Yo
Genevieve Johnson: Ah-oooooooooooooooo, let me in, open the door, or I'll blow it down
Genevieve Johnson: You bring out the animal in me, let me in, you bring out the animal in me babe

MCEricB: Baby, love is a scary thing
Merisan and Genevieve Johnson: Let me in or I'll blow your house down
MCEricB: Baby, love is a scary thing

Rabid Garfunkel: epilogue


Samples from:
Let Me In - Abominominominous
Let Me In - Merisan
Accelerator - Sven Mullet
Say The Word - Jon Eric
A Scary Thing - MC Eric B
Not In This Lifetime - Sid Denison and the Harpooners featuring Rabid Garfunkel

Expected guest: Sausage

you let him in, then he locks you out
accidentally

just like before, never heeding doubt

he steals it all, then he breaks it
and you're strong enough to take it

you let him in, then he locks you out
and he can't find the key

and you take him in
he's unexpected

and you comfort him
he's unexpected

and he leaves no rose
he's unexpected

when it's time to go
the unexpected guest


wouldn't it be nice if you could turn the tables for once?
be the one to walk on in and feel most important
one of you is going to have to pay
split cheques won't happen today
wouldn't it be nice to be the one?

wouldn't it be nice to take a hold of your own keys?
live day to day today, feeling feeling free
and if someone wants to come on in
they won't know where to begin
wouldn't it be nice to lock the door?

Unexpected Guest - Frankie Big Face
Featuring Student Band!

Saw her standing in the market checkout queue
Stood behind her even though the rest weren't full
Dumped my groceries and just bought a pack of gum
Helped her carry her bags to her station wagon

She smiled, I smiled, I touched her arm
She flinched, I turned to walk away when she said
Are you inclined to have an open mind
I said I think you're beautiful and we kissed

CHORUS:
Oh! Oh! You're better than the rest (She's better than the rest)
Put my mind and my body through a battery of tests
Put my hand under your dress
Introduced me to your unexpected guest

In the morning, I found myself confused
Wondered what in the world I'd gotten into
A cup of coffee and the answers soon emerged
I would call her and explain this was absurd

I dialed, it rang, she spoke, I stammered
She laughed, I laughed and said I'll be right over

CHORUS:
Oh! Oh! You're better than the rest (She's better than the rest)
Put my mind and my body through a battery of tests
Put my hand under your dress
Introduce me to your unexpected guest

And she said thank you for not punching me in the face
Like that asshole Stephen Rea in The Crying Game
I said I think he overreacted
But then I'm not Irish Catholic
We're not built the same, We're not built the same

CHORUS:
Oh! Oh! You're better than the rest (She's better than the rest)
Put my mind and my body through a battery of tests
Put my hand under your dress
Introduce me to your unexpected guest

"Unexpected Guest"
Words by Ligers with Attitude
Music by LWA and OC
All sounds and arrangements by OC (and child)

(lyrics are the original contribution recording differs a bit)

Well he's hangin' out inside of your digestive track
And since the day you brought him there, he's never looked back.
You see the meat that you were eating was under prepared,
And now he's gone and taken up a residence there.

He's the guest you don't expect, he's a nuisance he's a pest,
He's a parasitic blight upon your life.
Oh he's flat when he's around, and he doesn't make a sound,
He's a dirty thief who thrives when filth is rife.

He's hopin' that you're feelin' no... intestine pain
While he makes himself the master of your... your ab domain
He likes his life inside of you, o host with the most
And he's feasting off the food you eat and hopes he goes unnoticed

He's the guest you don't expect, and he doesn't stand erect,
He's crawlin' up inside of your good nature.
There's a wellspring there's a glut, and it's all up in your gut,
And he takes advantage, not because he hates ya.

And now its sunday morning and the kids are at the pool,
The sun is shining brightly down on something in the stool.
Call a doctor, call a nurse, call whomever gets there first,
There's a treatment, there's a pill
Just one dose for just one kill

He's the guest you don't expect, he's a nuisance he's a pest,
He's growing up to twelve meters long.
He came in with the dirt and now he's staying for dessert,
And hoping you don't think that something's wrong.

He's the guest you don't expect, he's a nuisance he's a pest,
A parasitic blight upon your life.
He's flat when he's around, and he doesn't make a sound,
He's a dirty thief who thrives when filth is rife.

Gooey Caramel Centaur ft. Rabid Garfunkel

E A (x4)

E E7
B B7

They say that everyone is faking it
And if that is the truth
Then I'm just sorry to have learned
That I'm no good at fooling you

They say we're born and die with nothing
But a pile of hope and bones
So I'm just happy to be bluffing through it
Like a rollin' stone

A E B B7 E
A C#m A C#m B

And the winners, yeah they're gonna win
And I do not detest
The spirit of the fight, the thinking
You'll come out the best
But I'll still be here rollin' even
If you're not impressed
I'm the third wheel at your party
I'm your unexpected guest

Yeah maybe I had best stop trying
If the outcome stays the same
But I know that it's not if you win
It's how you play the game

So you can call me out and write me off
And I won't take it wrong
I'll just keep doing what I love
Until the breath in me is gone

And the winners, yeah they're gonna win
And I do not detest
The spirit of the fight, the thinking
You'll come out the best
But I'll still be here rollin' even
If you're not impressed
I'm the third wheel at your party
I'm your unexpected guest

Unexpected Guest
By Merisan
lyrics by 15-16puzzle(!)

Sit by my bed again
Just for a minute
No one here will look me in the eye
You seem familiar
But I can’t remember
hope there’s something here you'll recognize

We’ve notified the doctors
They haven’t got a clue
Exhausted every option
before turning to you.

Chorus:
It’s our unexpected guest
that we hope you can address.
Heaven help us if we’re wrong
but help us nonetheless.

Came to your room again
Hope for the last time
Can’t stand to look you in the eyes
You seem distracted
And I can’t understand
The words that you’re saying come as a surprise

I’ve notified my elders
They just don’t seem to see
I haven’t lost my faith in God
I’ve lost my faith in me.

Chorus

cause it’s not amusing
when your head starts to spin
the reverend comes over
but you can’t let him in

It’s our unexpected guest
that we hope you can address.
It’s your unexpected guest
making your whole life a mess
Heaven help us if we’re wrong
but help us nonetheless.

The Worldly Self Assurance featuring Glenn Case

Lyrics by Thanks for the Frisbee & Glenn Case

it's gonna take a little time
to get back to
the place where i can find
the courage to ask
where did you go that night
I didn’t know if you were alright

the smoke sits a little bit low
it’s hard to see which direction you should go

faster, running even faster now that you can’t see the
road under your feet starting to erode, you fall into a hole
and you are still, and quiet
unsure if you’ve died yet

I’m gonna need a moment
to clean up
and gain composure
enough to speak up without
blurting out my rage
you showed up here unexpectedly

the smoke sits a little bit low
it’s hard to see which direction you should go

faster, running even faster now that you can’t see the
road under your feet starting to erode, you fall into a hole

and you are
left with your own thoughts and memories
And there's no trace of happiness around
I'm not saying that we will be enemies
But I can't have you in my life right now


I’m gonna need a moment
to clean up
and gain composure
enough to speak up without
blurting out my rage
you showed up here unexpectedly

the smoke sits a little bit low
its hard to see which direction you should go

faster, running even faster now that you can’t see the
road under your feet starting to erode, you fall into a hole
and you are…
faster, running even faster now that you can’t see the
road under your feet starting to erode, you fall into a hole
and you are still, and quiet
unsure if you’ve died yet

Unexpected Guest
Chris Cogott
Guest - Boffo Yux Dudes/Lyrics and intro

So finally you can call me daddy
Our prayers have been answered
We thought we couldn't do it
But our infertility's been cured

I look at little Maggie's face
And Mark and Luke and Ron
And Kate and Pete and Hope and Earl
Oh lord what have we done???

Who's daddy's little boy, now?
Who's daddy's little girl?
I only ask 'cause I can't tell
My head's all in a whirl
Who's daddy's little boy?
Who's daddy's little girl?

We only thought there'd be one of you
But somehow we got eight
We love you all 'cause now we know
Fertility drugs work great

There's diapers piled to the second floor
And none of them are clean
The sound that drowns the crying
Is the pulsing of my spleen

I haven't slept in seven weeks
And I think I'm going bald
I never thought I'd meet my match
From gremlins two feet tall

Who's daddy's little boy, now?
Who's daddy's little girl?
I only ask 'cause I can't tell
My head's all in a whirl
Who's daddy's little boy?
Who's daddy's little girl?

I'm so happy being up day and night
You all send me over the moon
But I think I need some cigarrettes
I'll be back......real soon

UN-EXPECTED GUEST
DJ Ranger Den (w/x-tra special guest Billy's Little Trip)
(co-written, co-performed, co-produced. all guitars, drums, and some other bubbly sounds and things.)

out of time
out of sight..so out of mind
and yet, these skies were never mine
..to fly by

CH/in he creeps
unexpectedly into your dreams
sleep cannot win
when your shadow comes calling

uninvited ...
so i'll smile politely
and be just like they like me
...no dreams are mine

CH/she slithers in
you did not invite her!
she's your unexpected guest
uncovers all your secrets!

BR/go back to bed! -
she said, she'll make it go away -
all these nightmares in your head!
(fingers crossed behind)

CH/in he creeps (in he creeps)
unexpectedly into your dreams
sleep will not win
when your shadow comes calling
in we creep
unexpectedly into your dreams
sleep will not win
when your shadow comes calling