Dead Pope

Caravan Ray · Post by **Caravan Ray** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 7:16 am

So how do they pick a new Pope nowdays - it it still that puff of white smoke crap?

I'd like to see all the Cardinals put into a house and have everything they do filmed for 2 weeks - and every night, the 1 billion Catholics in the world (or at least those who aren't living in extreme over-population related poverty) call call in and vote one of the Cardinals out. Personally, I'd vote for the one who'd let me put a rubber thing on my cock, but I know that that's just crazy talk. It would be cool if the token gay one could make it through to the final four.

Or maybe put them on an island and give them physical challenges to do -like the first one to run up the beach, de-frock a choir boy and then polish their organ without spilling any holy water gets immunity when the papal council votes somebody off the island.

Don't get me wrong - I've got nothing against Catholicism - I'm the product of 12 years of schooling by the Marist Brothers, and they never molested me once....(why not? what was wrong with me?)

Caravan Ray · Post by **Caravan Ray** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 7:18 am

...and after 25 years of Pope John Paul - I really hope the next bloke calls himself Pope George Ringo

Kapitano · Post by **Kapitano** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 7:38 am

Caravan Ray wrote:So how do they pick a new Pope nowdays - it it still that puff of white smoke crap?

Yeah. Black smoke = No decision. White smoke = New puppet.

The pope-choosing process this time must be utter chaos. There's so many factions and hairline disputes. My guess is they'll agree on the most banal, vague, noncommittal candidate available. But maybe from somewhere that isn't in Europe, as a symbolic move away from eueocentrism. A bit like Kofi Annan at the U.N.

Don't get me wrong - I've got nothing against Catholicism - I'm the product of 12 years of schooling by the Marist Brothers, and they never molested me once....(why not? what was wrong with me?)

Hah! In my early teens I went to a small catholic boys school run by a priest. All fire and brimstone, lots of readings from Revelations, and Sodom & Gomorrah.

I never got molested once - well, not by the priest or his ever-changing circle of teachers. The boys themselves did all the molestation. One boy in particular I got close to...we were both 13...he had the most wandering hands...

Yes well. Anyway. <cough>.

I really hope the next bloke calls himself Pope George Ringo

It could be a woman! Doesn't have to be a bloke!

Oh, yeah. I suppose it does. Sorry.

Caravan Ray · Post by **Caravan Ray** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 8:08 am

Can Dan Brown be Pope?

He's probably done more to get people back to church than anyone - even if it is only to look for anagrams in the hymnals or secret passages into the tabarnacle

john m · Post by **john m** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:08 am

Pope Lando II.

thehipcola · Post by **thehipcola** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 10:12 am

Dan Brown SHOULD be Pope.

I think he's actually Illuminati...like, I'm reading Angels and Demons right now...the Pope just died in that story too....how could DB know all this stuff if he wasn't Illuminati? The Illuminati clearly offed the Pope. If you use the Fibonacci Series to select prime numbered words from all the pages, it actually gives you the location of....

wait...my internet connection jus-

Kapitano · Post by **Kapitano** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 10:47 am

TheHipCola wrote:Dan Brown SHOULD be Pope.
I think he's actually Illuminati

That's what the communist aliens who control the CIA flouride mind control program want you to think.

Time Cube Is Real!

Hoblit · Post by **Hoblit** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 11:59 am

Kapitano wrote:
Caravan Ray wrote:So how do they pick a new Pope nowdays - it it still that puff of white smoke crap?
Yeah. Black smoke = No decision. White smoke = New puppet.

Don't get me wrong - I've got nothing against Catholicism - I'm the product of 12 years of schooling by the Marist Brothers, and they never molested me once....(why not? what was wrong with me?)
Sodom

One boy in particular I got close to...we were both 13...he had the most wandering hands...

Yes well. Anyway. <cough>.

I really hope the next bloke calls himself Pope George Ringo
It could be a woman! Doesn't have to be a bloke!

Oh, yeah. I suppose it does. Sorry.

you make Catholosism seem hot.

Anyways... There will be a new pope...he'll be full of too much respected religious power as the last one was. Oh, and he'll be European...thats just about a gaurantee. He will not be able to stop WWIII.

erik · Post by **erik** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 12:09 pm

Catholicism is a very real important vibrant part of people's lives in lots of places in the world that aren't Europe. It's like an anthem for people who are seriously struggling in their lives, not like "man, I can't afford a new car" struggling, but like "man, I can't afford to eat" struggling.

http://slate.msn.com/id/2089815/nav/ais/

jack · Post by **jack** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 12:52 pm

all you people that voted senile old prick better look both ways before crossing the street.

j$ · Post by j$ » Mon Apr 04, 2005 12:53 pm

Some of those countries which you refer to are the same ones where they say 'I can't use a condom despite the AIDS epidemic because the Pope tells me it is a sin' ... one european telling 'places that aren't Europe' how to think is as bad as another ....

erik · Post by **erik** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 12:59 pm

I wasn't commenting on how one would be better than another, but just that it's not all sewn-up that the next pope will be European.

j$ · Post by j$ » Mon Apr 04, 2005 1:00 pm

Ah sorry, i misunderstood your tone. My bad.

j$

jack · Post by **jack** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 1:08 pm

most of the media chatter points toward the next pope most likely being either italian or from a third world area like honduras, or mexico city, or africa. and apparently, they want an old pope that won't have such a long tenure, as they don't want to be locked in for 30 years again.

interesting segment on 60 minutes last night about this.

mico saudad · Post by **mico saudad** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 2:25 pm

jack shite wrote:all you people that voted senile old prick better look both ways before crossing the street.

Yeah I'm pretty rabidly agnostic and I still had an impossible time summoning the irreverence to see making that statement. My respect for him may be purely selfish though -

If a person can so easily dismiss the entire life of a man who has accomplished as much as he has, then how easy will it be for others to call me worse when I'm dead?

Answer: very easy. This realization makes me somewhat sad and more than a little scared about its inevitability.

Rabid Garfunkel · Post by **Rabid Garfunkel** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 2:50 pm

john m wrote:Pope Lando II.

Molari or Calrissian?

Leaf · Post by **Leaf** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 2:53 pm

Griffen.

fodroy · Post by **fodroy** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 4:01 pm

Kapitano wrote: Time Cube Is Real!

wth is that thing about anyways? i tried to read some website about that, but my bullshit siren was blaring so loud that i couldn't focus.

Kapitano · Post by **Kapitano** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 5:26 pm

fodroy wrote:
Kapitano wrote: Time Cube Is Real!
wth is that thing about anyways?

If I understood it well enough to explain it, I'd be extremely worried.

roymond · Post by **roymond** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 6:53 pm

Yes, Bush has only 8 days or so to make his decision, right? Now, about Wolfowitz ... did he formally accept World Bank? Even so, isn't the Vatican just a subsidiary? Or is it the other way around?

Hoblit · Post by **Hoblit** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 11:48 pm

15-16 puzzle wrote:I wasn't commenting on how one would be better than another, but just that it's not all sewn-up that the next pope will be European.

Yes, I understand this.

Hoblit · Post by **Hoblit** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 11:49 pm

roymond wrote:Yes, Bush has only 8 days or so to make his decision, right? Now, about Wolfowitz ... did he formally accept World Bank? Even so, isn't the Vatican just a subsidiary? Or is it the other way around?

ha, ha ha ha

Dead Pope

Pope John Paul II was:

Dead Pope

Re: Dead Pope

Re: Dead Pope