Father Bingo wrote:
But the lead female's voice doesn't do it for me. She sounds like she's either bored or trying too hard.
Or painfully shy about her voice. But we're working on her....slowly chipping away.
We also didn't have enough time to get multiple takes recorded. What ended up on the recording was, I think, her second, and final, take and her only complete run through the song. AND, it was her first time recording. Its still wierd to sing into a mike in the middle of abecedarian's rec room.
Many thanks for the words, both kind and constructive, on the inaugural submission from all you guys. Bridge and myself have been shadowing the fights for a while now, mostly basking in the reflected glory that is abecedarian (skinny blue momo), so we took great pleasure in contributing.
I see the the skinny one pretty much daily, so I've already said this to him. However, it bears repeating. Dude, you rock. he played the part of producer to the tee. He pushed Bridget's lyrics, he set the song structure and had some pretty dead-on aesthetic opinions. Oh, and some mad cubase crash recovery skeelz. Many thanks.
Dan Wrekenhaus 2 wrote:Really, I'm not gonna spend any amount of my time trying to find a song I've never heard of because someone says my song ripped it off. I think the riff is too generic to pinpoint the ripping-off to 1 particular band, but I'll have to give this a listen (watch) when I'm sitting at a faster connection. To clarify, I am sure my song sounds like this, as you have all said, my problem is with the term "rip-off."
Sorry about the term rip-off. Of course, it's not a rip-off if you've never heard it. It just happens to be very similar musically.
PS. I was moderately surprised that a lot of people interpreted the song title as being dark or moody. I can kinda see it in retrospect, but to me the title implies something really bouncy and upbeat.
Desolation Radio: I really like the groove, but once the singing starts it feels a little weak. As it goes on, it sounds almost like a karaoke track. The music makes me want to like it, but the singing and the vocal melody sound like they could've used more time. Trust your voice to sing well without the weird affection.
Tonamel: My ears perk up immediately from the Plaid sound. The chorus is a nice payoff when it arrives. I kinda like this one. It sounds like what I wish I could do.
Thornberry: This is used in the fight scene of the movie "We Are All Made Of Strings", no doubt. I like it, but I won't remember it tomorrow.
DJ Dan Wrekenhaus: Cute. I was starting to get bored (this sounds like stuff we did in high school) until you started screaming at the end -- then it started working for me. More screaming please. Also I spent a couple of minutes afterwards wondering why you were moving from my right side to my left while you were screaming. Are you raving while circling or am I spinning around? I had to listen again. Okay I started out feeling like this was totally skippable and now it's in my top 3 for this fight.
Bridget & the BlueState MoMo's: As the other voices come in, this song really takes off. This is a keeper! Normally I automatically dismiss songs that are just singing with an acoustic. It's too easy to plop down in front of the mic for a few minutes and toss out a sensitive acoustic thing. But the multiple chaining voices was cool, and the chorus melody made me happy.
Battle Cry Creek: For the love of god, help me! I'm trapped on a people mover in an airport and it never ends! That escalator at the end never gets any closer. I'm in hell. Well, at least at 6.5 minutes, you've taken the heat off my "block city" song, which people thought was monotonous at four minutes. This would be bad at one minute: it's unbearable at 6.5. Stop.
Matthan Minster: Your recording equipment is even worse than mine, but this shows that it doesn't matter. I liked this song until the chorus, then I loved it. This is awesome. You almost certainly have my vote. I wish I knew you in real life so I could convince you to do a collab.
Calque: The talking thing doesn't work for me. There's not much else here. It sounds like a computer whispering.
Minty Handy: This is something like my friends would play in their car(s), which I would tolerate but not enjoy.
Ice Weasels: One of my friends pointed out that I'm doing a subconscious homage to (early) TMBG here. I had no intention of doing that but I just read everyone else's reviews and I guess everyone else saw that too. Mental note for the future, Ice Weasels: TMBG homages do not win fights.
"ice weasels: move to the 1980 Philippines and you would be a huge hit"
Thornberry- This song started out well and had me expecting great things, but it never took off. It seemed like it should be a jam in the middle of a song (and it would have made a cool jam). I was bored by the end.
Calque- The beginning two thirds sounds like a cross between a whacked out eastern philosopher (instrumentation and deep voice) and a devil child in a horror movie (whispering voice). A little less creepy as the guitar comes in more. Weird. I like it.
Ice Weasels- Maybe I've been put in a dark mood by Calque, but it seems very bouncy and upbeat. Weird guitar sounds like a vacuum cleaner being turned on and off. But I like the transitions and especially the parts of the song without the vacuum cleaner. Overall, it fits together (strings together?) nicely.
DJ Dan Wrekenhaus- The yelling gets a little annoying. The guitar would sound pretty cool if everything weren't so dirty and repetitive.
Tonamel- You build everything up very nicely. Nice instrumentation. I enjoyed the lyrics (though it was a little hard to hear them at first). I like it a lot.
Battlecry Creek- I really liked the spacy sound, especially at the beginning of the song. I liked it a little less as it seemed to drag on and on. Change it up a little and it could be really cool.
Matthan Minster- Awesome melody/harmonies, though the voice sounds a little tinny at times. Upbeat and catchy.
Desolation Radio- You worked the whole dark, depressed thing really well. The voice gets flatter as it goes higher- stick with the deep, raspy talking.
Minty Handy- The actual string sounds and drum beat were awesome. Entertaining and definitely didn't have that too-long feel that a couple other songs had.
Bridget and the BlueState Momo's- So that's me (and Bob and Sean). Let's see, my voice is painfully flat a few places (but thankfully, Bob (Blue State Momo) already made my excuse for that). I'm definitely shy about my voice, but trying to work on that. "Singing from my diaphragm," if you will.
This is my first post here on Songfight, and the first song I've written. Thanks Sean (abecedarian) for showing Bob and I the recording ropes- and for staying up late to get everything finished after Cubase crashed!
I wish I had gotten involved with Songfight earlier- thanks you guys for taking the time to listen to and give feedback on all of these songs! This rocks.
Thanks that one person liked the sound. Basically I wanted to redo the song because a drum part was missing and it was too long, but my cf card wouldn't let me change anything. Also, I guess solos are just not really "in" anymore, but I just got caught up in the mixolydian mode a little too much.
first off i'd have to say that everyone did a fab-o job. really.
battle cry creek: when i fist played this somehow winamp launched 4x and was playing at different times. i was thinking it was pretty far-out and i was thinking about dropping but then i realized what was happening and was disappointed. so you found the pitch shift nob or something. i like the strange voice. and well, ya this is waaaaaaaayyyyy ttttttooooo llllllooooonnnnnnngggg!
bridget & bluestate momo's: your so sweet and nice. i don't care if you sing out of tune. i want to go to the park and you can feed me grapes and we can skip rocks and kill the pigeons that don't get along with the swans.
calque: talking about swans. that's so cute that you let the children living in you basement in on your recording. i'd like to hear whatever that is in the background but i can't. this sliding guitar is reminding me of battle cry creek and starting to make me mad.
desolation radio: i'm not into how the chorus turned out. i shoulda but some guitar in there and well ya know, melody. i compressed the hell out of this thing thinking it was so soft and the bass so low that you couldn't hear a thing on a laptop but is took a lot of airiness out of the vocals and made for some annoying highs.
dj dan wrekenhaus: this song is good for hula hooping. i hope that the vocals turned out like this due to the equipment and not for effect. i'm so sick of that over driven tube sound on vocals. but in any case i like the low-fi so i'm digin' it. nice ending.
ice weasels: the guitar sounds like it's spewing at me. gross. nice way to mix it up with the chorus. sing songy and familiar sounding.
matthan minster: so your sorta happy but kinda sad. and you were the first one on you block with the shins album. that's cool though. i like the shins and i like this song.
minty handy: i don't know about this. it's either making me feel like i'm in the class room or watching the news and i don't want to do either, unless you put in the sexual fantasy. nope. but there is a nice orchestral arrangement.
thornberry: ya i believe you, your probably packing like six inches maybe eight but i don't believe this has any thing to do with the song title. nice recording. not as tight as your pants. i'd make a good porn soundtrack.
tonamel: i like the sparseness of this. you have a nice voice dude. i think it will turnout all right. the snare sounds kinda strange at times, maybe it's stretched out or your attempting a roll but it's sounding stretched out with artifacts.
not everyone is going to like, understand or care about what you've recorded. some people are polite listeners, some will stroll away during playback, some will talk, some will tell you who you sound like, and a precious few will ask to hear it again
Battle Cry Creek
I'm with the rest of the folks: it ran a little long. Electronica is not particularly my cupa, so I tend to think that most of this genre runs long anyway. Positives: when the melody synth moved into the faster paced staccato run, I got a lot more interested. That was nifty.
It was a little sparse in terms of the amount of layers. Other things. The melody synth would go into some "loose time" sections. I wasn't a big fan of those. Also, there were some extended chromatic tone shifts of which I was also not a big fan.
Claque
Reminded me of some stuff by Steve Tibbets and/or John Fahey in one of his more experimental soundscape moods. It was nicely spacey. I really liked the addition of the strummed acoustic guitar on the back end of the song. Negatives: the tone on the "whisper track" kinda made my ears bleed. I didn't like how it sounded in my headphones.
DJ Dan Wrekenhaus
Very Stripes/punk scream ballad. Music for the verse is fun and angry. Needs: 1)A drum track. 2) A change of key or some movement. The main theme gets repetitive, and the chorus isn't much different from it. Loose the falsetto chorus. too goofy, too cheesy.
Thornberry
Rock ballad. Twas way too loose, though, all around. The main guitar riff repeats maybe two times more than I would have wanted in the opening verse. In the middle, there was a solo section that got really muddled. Most of my critiques revolve around execution rather than the music itself though. The bass on some sections needed to be more a part of the rhythm section than taking off on lead-like tangents.
Tonamel
I liked the way the layers come in and out of this piece. Musically, I dig the interplay between the baseline and the keyboard. The tape hiss in the background was a nice touch. I disagreed with dropping the baseline out of the verse. I thought it left it a little empty, and not in a good, sort of Philip Glass minimalist kind of way. The vocals, while being a little too loud at the beginning, were nice, clear, and well done.
Ice Weasels
The rhythm static bothered me. Very, very TMBG, but thats ok, cause it sounded good. The lyrics were cute, and the music was bouncy
Desolation Radio
Nice, dark, moody, layered. Cool. The dissonant, calliope bass line on the chorus was out of place. I didn't like that much. (apparently you didn't either) The quiet guitar that runs through the verse is really effective, especially on the little solo interlude.
Matthan Minister
this was my favorite song from the fight. Instant headbob reaction. I'm a sucker for a nice strong back beat. The harmony and the movement on the verse (get out and see the world...) that was frickin' great. There were little touches that were subtle but added to song. The synth that followed the chord progression. the little piano hits on the outro. I really don't have any negatives of which to speak.
Minty Handy
Reminds me of the android sisters stuff from this NPR radio play that I heard like ten years ago. (aside, does anyone know what I'm talking about? can you remember the name?) Very orchestral. Tight. I like the vocal effects, and the two verses are very informative, really. Being in the midst of the ivory tower, I appreciate and identify a little too closely with the second verse.
Bridget and the Blue State Momos
What a piece of crap! My thoughts on our submission. More harmonies. Especially on the first part of the chorus. I still love the F out of the harmonies that we put into the later half of the chorus. (go Bridge and Sean) I like the bass part, especially on the second verse. I would have liked to add a few more tracks, like a simple organ part and/or a little lead guitar in the progression between the verse and the chorus. Maybe some simple percussion like a foot stomp, or maybe a simple snare and bass drum.
Last edited by Big Blue Momo on Wed Apr 13, 2005 12:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
to those of you who dislike my vocal effects and/or screaming... I would bet dollars to donuts that I'd hear about it all day long if I left my vocals untainted and/or "sang." I'm not exactly what you might call... ..a singer.
Even on the <a href="http://poemtastic.com">internet</a> I can't make friends.
Sorry, "scream ballad" came off like it was a bad thing. its not. (this will probably get me flamed but...) I like the White Stripes. (I don't listen to the radio much, so the whole exposed/overexposed thing passes me by) I thought the verse was fine. The effects were fine. It fit the style. It sounded good. Keep doing that. It was the chorus that sucked, and more for stylistic reasons. it was out of place.
I'm perfectly content with the term "scream ballad." It was not really your poast I was reffering to. Thanks kindly, I appreciate everyone's input here.
Even on the <a href="http://poemtastic.com">internet</a> I can't make friends.
Battlecry Creek
/// Nice delay but a little too strong ///
--- Oh, now I hear the creek. You expected me to sit through six minutes of this? ---
Bridget and the Blue State MoMos
/// Folky female acoustic acts seem to be as plentiful as tattoo'ed rap-rockers. What are you doing to stand out? ///
+++ It's a decent song with a nice chord progression. +++
--- Bass seems to be really amateur and inconfident. ---
Calque
/// Niveous? ///
+++ The live vocal reminds me of Max the Cat. I also like when the chords get loud +++
--- It could use a little more melody. Maybe just one little keyboard flare with a sweet delay every 10 seconds? ---
Desolation Radio
/// Apt band name ///
--- Oh shit, it was attacked by a giant swarm of suckage at 1:20. ---
+++ The rhythm is nice, with the swirly effect coming off of the ride. The bass is sweet how it starts and stops so loud, kind of like a good smooth jazz song (oxymoron?) +++
DJ Dan Wrekenhaus
+++ It's a decent Dead Milkmen rip-off, or something. Oh, and it's over befor two minutes. +++
--- That falsetto is a pitch-slut ---
+++ Nice scream pie +++
Ice Weasels
+++ Much welcomed geek pop +++
--- Forced meter. Ex: "A-cor-DING." Spend a little more time and get your words to sound natural ---
/// Not a big one for religious themes or whatever. I am prepared for the hyprocite fistfight with the HO&S track this week. ///
Matthan Minster
/// Manhattan Minister would be cooler. If this is your real name, you must be sick of that ///
+++ Another decent geeky poppy philoso-tune. The Dismemberment Plan sound of the chorus vocals makes this a contender. +++
Minty Handy
/// Minty goes spy-dork ///
--- What's with the poor-man's-wreckdom speed-flow? ---
+++ Although quite MIDI, your best production yet. +++
Thornberry
+++ A sweet little rocker. +++
/// I'll totally sing your next track if you give me warning. I like what you've got here. ///
--- At 0:27 it sounded like you were ramping up the tempo for one measure, but then it cut right back to the same tempo. A programming problem? Also, I'd like to hear alittle more practice on the bass. During the solo at one minute there's a little too much free-wheelign there and not enough structure. ---
Tonamel
+++ Cute ambient spy-jazz-MIDI intro. +++
--- What the fuck are you wailing about, anyway? How pretentious ---
EightLeggedOedipus wrote:--- Bass seems to be really amateur and inconfident. ---
My excuse for the evening:
Yeah- the bass was thrown together quickly late at night after the system had already crashed and we almost lost everything. I wanted there to be a bass in the background there, but I was basically afraid of doing anything I might mess up on an have to rerecord. I agree, it sounded like a watery mess that the cat puked up.
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.
