The Song Fight Bulletin Board

That one's for Glen.

Ha!

Plunger? I hardly know her!

Berkeley Social Scene
is very nice, I enjoyed it. I might make the bass a little punchier.

Caravan Ray
is very tinny and feels like it is assaulting my ears in an unpleasant way. but I just had a drink and am in kind of a chill mood.

Chocolate Chips
is this mic being overdriven or is that an intentional effect on it? I might like a warmer take on vocal recording. bass coming in is quite nice. not sold on choice of pitch for second syllable of SATAN in your melody.

Crayon Cereal
this is a sad song but I know that feel man. by the end i am thinking the lo-fi recording works really well here.

DJ Ranger Den
yes liking this ambiance is good mix of mellow piano and some pads hiding in there. this is heartfelt. i put my thumb in the air for it. i might have ended the lyrics with "i'm just me"

Foobar
shades of david byrne in this voice, crazy. drums (not the cymbals) are too far back and verbed out. this needs a solid upfront kick and slightly verbed snare that cuts through. i think that'd help with the impact. maybe a slightly less meandering piano part, though i like the way the chords move forward in an unexpected way, extending by a measure here and there. feel like the bass guitar and piano are not always agreeing on what the bass note is and that should probably be remedied.

Fred Haiyce
this is not very good rapping, i'm sorry, but please keep at it. at least if you are going to rap, mix the voice forward so we can hear/understand your words because that's like the point, right? some cool stuff going on in the drums.

Future Boy
this is me. i'm pretty happy with this song. i'm sort of obsessed with using my casio for drum beats lately. i recorded the vocals while suffering from allergies so i will likely rerecord them at some point. this is a true story.

glennny
lovin this loose jazzy vibe man. wtg with the 5/4 action. great sax. can't really follow the lyrics, seems to involve something about sex. i give thumbs.

Gregg Boethin
like the description of eyes. there is something muddy going on in the midrange that is unnecessarily stepping on your vocals, i want them to punch right through. this is tolerably country for me, but i would push your vocals more towards the eagles than modern male country styling. the performance (of everything really) feels a little plodding and stiff, would be nice to loosen yourself up a bit and go for more like effortless flow.

It's Chris
this vocal style feels like a put on and i think it is unnecessary. maybe i am wrong and this is just how you sing. ok.

J.A.N.
oh hello synths. is that J$ I hear in there? i want the vocals to be a little more intelligible. i would put more focus on the kick and bass than the hard panned stuff.

John Lampson
oh yes 3/4 well done. not sure how i feel about these lyrics or this poor girl you are singing about. i feel like you could push your voice more towards like the decemberists or the dude singer on 69 love songs that wasn't stephin merritt. otherwise mix is pretty good i think, vocal maybe gets buried sometimes. wouldn't say the song like grabs me or anything.

Kevin Mellows
i like your voice. but otherwise i feel like this song is made up of a bunch of very generic rock elements and so i am not very excited about it.

New Image
voice seems sometimes not always under your control. i would prefer more controlled affectation. "came to me / meant to me" nope. but there are other nice turns of phrase in there.

Odilon Green
no on this vocal style, nope, nuh uh. where are you coming from with this? the music is otherwise not offensive, i might even say i like it? i like the weird direction the lyrics go in, haha, no really these lyrics get real good at the end. 3 billion of her masturbate, so good.

Whoph
yes this has many good things going for it with the snappy clicky percussion bits and your vocal stylings are nice. i might try to sound a little less like the whiny white boy with something in his mouth. the fuzzy bass i would put dead center and solid, rather than mixed back with the other hardpanned stuff, but i appreciate that you are letting the vocals dominate center and therefore remain intelligible. feels like this wants to grow in intensity at certain points and does not. like the nebulous chord progression a lot.

WreckdoM
oh good i'm glad you covered the robot angle. and also the giant spiders angle. so many good angles being covered here. thanks for keeping songfight weird dudes.

I'm doing these one by one with edits to give them each a bit of time to sink in rather than burning myself out with all of the songs at once ... I am giving first listens to those who do reviews. When I get to all of them I will add green faces/votes to my four favorites.

finished - VOTES/Green Faces added for four favorites.

FUTURE BOY - I'm digging it. Nice drum beat and synths. It has a groovy feeling which is impressive ... most of the times a songfight entry with drum machine and synths like this sound a bit robotic, but this has a feel to it that gets the bobble head going. I don't love the vocals but they are OK. I can imagine them growing on me as they have a ... earnestness to them that is a bit endearing. Nice melody & lyrics too, appreciating them more on the second listen. This seems like a very likely vote but I have to listen to all of them before handing out the green faces!

THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS - I did this one in less than 24 hours as I had to give up on a previous idea. So there is a rushed quality to it. I would have liked to re-record quite a bit of it but didn't have time. My favorite part is the bass guitar that comes in during the bridge. To respond to the above review about the melody on "Satan" ... yes that's an F# over a C chord ! an unusual choice but I decided to stick with it as it is certainly a bit satanic. Maybe too on the nose though for something that maybe just sounds like a mistake. ( old lady eating a pickle for the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF6ZVvLmc48 ... be warned, it turns me on and I feel weird about it afterwards ... maybe you will have a similar issue? )

JOHN LAMPSON - I like the slow tempo ... vocals remind me of Ben Folds a bit, pretty good! I like how clear the vocals are in the mix. Cool solo around 2:30. The song also reminds a bit of Weezer. Not sure why. This is a good one with a lot of neat ideas in it that seem mostly realized (although I'm not sure about some of the timing things.) Another possible vote.

KEVIN MALLOWS - Pretty good alt. rock/indie type voice but could be a bit stronger for more mainstream appeal I think. I'm not crazy about the lead guitar part for some reason, it seems a bit over the top (and not really fitting the song so well.) Still there are elements of this song I quite like ... I'm not sure how I feel about it actually! Only have time to listen through to it once at the moment - may come back for another listen when deciding on my votes.

DJ RANGER DEN - Love the spacey synths/production. Nice that the vocals are clear and up front - although I kind of want to hear them a bit wetter (maybe more coming out of the spaciness instead of sitting on top - still ... maybe this works better!) Definitely has a good atmosphere but I do definitely crave a bit more structure to it. Although maybe it's there and I just have to listen more times to get it. Basically: the vocals, production/mix, and what I heard of the lyrics first time through were all very good. but ... I'm missing out on a tune to hold onto. I will listen again before deciding on a vote, I have a feeling it may be one that grows on me the more I listen. (ps: I loved your review of my track, very amusing!)

NEW IMAGE - Nice simple production for a straightforward type song. I'm not crazy about your acoustic sound (the playing is good, I mean the tone) ... vocals are good but maybe a bit too dry? Although the past couple of New Image songs I heard had a lot more effects so it was kind of nice to hear one more straight. I'm not sure this is one of my favorites of yours, but I read your review where you talked about what it was about and ... I feel for you on that. I have my own things (why I wasn't here for a long while) so ... yeah. I have a problem of never wanting to put any real emotions into my songs (at least not as The Chocolate Chips - as it's too silly with the voice fx) but it's nice when people do something that's more serious on Song Fight as there are so many joke songs here (and I'm obviously quite guilty there.) Anyway - keep on rocking - I like your tunes and your voice/playing.

FOOBAR - This is definitely a cup of not my thing - as far as ... even if it were perfectly realized I probably wouldn't really like it, it reminds me too much of over the top '80s piano ballads. Still; there are some nice elements here ... Nice deep bass sounds (although maybe overpowering the mix at times) ... Vocals sometimes get a bit buried. Also vocals seem too dry, especially in the context of this very big sounding production.

CARAVAN RAY - Nice punk rock thing that doesn't overstay its welcome. I could talk about how the production is thin and buzzy but it all seems a part of what you were going for. Cool guitars. I like the lyrics.

ODILON GREEN - It's hard for me to know what to say about this for me; some of the midi arrangement stuff is kind of enjoyable ... and the "3 billion of her masturbate" line is pretty great but overall I just ... it's ... I don't have much of a soft spot for these kind of things and it's hard for me to know what to say that's constructive because I feel like even if it were perfectly realized I wouldn't like it. Maybe I would find it more engaging with more real instruments rather than midi arrangements? But I don't know... we can't please everyone! Especially those of us who take an unusual approach. From looking at the reviews it seems that others are into it, so keep on doing your thing.

WHOPH - I'm immediately drawn into this one. I really like the percussion sounds, neat. The vocals are very good and mixed well. This is my favorite of the fight so far and I'm going to go ahead give it a VOTE because I'm sure it'll end up in my top four. Great imagination shown in this arrangement. Really impressed.

FRED HAIYCE - It's hard to get past the amateurishness of it on one level, but sometimes I can find such things quite appealing (there's this album by this guy Lone Pigeon that reminds me of this and it's really cool) ... still, for something like this to work there has to be some element of it that grabs the ear (maybe that's what it all boils down to, eh?) and I just don't hear it here. Maybe if the vocals were more clear the lyrics would bring me into it.

JAN - I'd like to hear the vocals a bit more clearly. Overall it seems overly busy. It's like it's attempting to be intense but it just doesn't come across like that. This one doesn't work for me because none of the elements really stand out. I can't understand the lyrics well enough to get pulled into them and there aren't any musical or sound design/production type things that really pull me into it either.

GLENNNY - Nice open sound. This is an enjoyable listen. Maybe a bit of a background track (doesn't really grab me to make me pay closer attention) ... but it seems well done. Some amusing lyrics!

IT'S CHRIS - It's hard to want to put much effort into reviewing when there doesn't seem to be any effort put into the song.

CRAYON CEREAL - It's not terrible for what it is but it doesn't appeal to me. Besides the Jason Mraz / Maroon 5 lyric ... I've forgotten the song by the time it's over.

GREGG BOETHIN - I don't really care for this style of music but I still find this to be a pretty decent song. I like the openness of the mix. Vocals are good. Overall a bit too much of a genre workout, doesn't stand out enough - doesn't seem to have enough of its own personality to make it really memorable.

WRECKDOM - This is pretty fun. I like the warped sounds and the orchestral stuff. I don't really get all of the lyrics/story but I kind of liked it. If I was high right now you'd probably be getting a vote. I should start smoking grass again, eh?

BERKELY SOCIAL SCENE - I like the vocals. I like the synth. Nice rhythm guitars too. The guitar solo is tasty. I think this is among the better BSS songs I've heard (and I must have heard about 25 to 30 by now) ... I like this one. Possible vote, I need to go through the songs again before deciding.

Wow, this one was posted really quickly - lots of fun!

I'll do the "* thing" again this week and put an * next to the vote-getters. Over half of the entrants got a vote from me. I start to think how I should do something like "The Chocolate Chips" does and only vote for a few, but I think I'll just continue to vote for any song I like even if that means I vote for everyone (or no one, if that ends up ever being the case).

Berkeley Social Scene*

Very catchy rhythm! This whole thing is a little wetter than I like and I'm having a hard time hearing the vocals but I like this. One thing I appreciate about your stuff is the attention you to panning and balance (vocals notwithstanding, in my opinion). This has a nice flow, good parts, and is well performed. I'd like to hear more drums in addition to more vocals. The guitar solo and synth parts are a nice addition further along. Nicely done!

Caravan Ray*

This reminds me of something, and it's a good thing, but I don't know what that thing is. This is pretty damn cool and that bass just really drives this whole thing forward. I'm beginning to suspect there must be a problem with my ears or something as I keep wanting to hear the vocals more up in the mix. Other than that, this is super cool.

The Chocolate Chips*

This has a few instances of that synth I consider your signature element but is, indeed, different from what I've heard from you so far. I love the Satan references coupled with the backwards masking. There are some points at which the timing seems a little crazy (or something) but that just seems like part of the charm to me.

Crayon Cereal*

This is really nice. You are right to call out Jason Mraz, because I heard that influence very clearly. Although I feel like this stands on its own, I would like to hear a more clearly-recorded version of this from you if you're looking for something to do sometime. The heartbreak is evident on this one. You've inspired me to keep my next track very simple (as I can get carried away very easily). Cool stuff!

DJ Ranger Den*

Did you get Julee Cruise to sing on this? That's a compliment, by the way. Although I love this and am voting for it, it starts to drag around 2:30. I'd suggest a revisit to the arrangement to make it a bit more dynamic, to keep the listener more engaged on future listens.

Foobar*

Right away I get the sense that we are in for something awesome here. Very epic-sounding piano. And your vocals are very present in the start. As the mix gets more dense, they do sink back in the mix quite a bit. I have a feeling that a bit of subtractive EQ in the right spots would help you a lot. I like your song!

Fred Haiyce

Although this isn't typically a style I would listen to, what I will say is that I appreciate the lo-fi aspect. The Butthole Surfers-style rapped vocal gets way off tempo very quickly. You know, I bet that if you had a stronger vocal performance and turned UP the vocal that you could almost have this as a marching-band style song. And I bet your sister might find that an even more awesome tribute (when she eventually stops being all, like, OMG with you).

Future Boy*

This has a great, jaunty vibe. I don't think you can ever go wrong with a song about unrequited love. That section starting at 1:40 is awesome, by the way. Then the section following that is a sweet jam, too. I'd suggest some vocal compression or automation on the quieter vocal parts to make sure they don't get lost. Just a little bit should get you pretty far. Very cool!


glennny*

Very jazzy. Look at all that scat! I'll try not to step in any of it! There's a lot to like about this. I would like the vocals to be more clear, but everything else sounds really nice. This is just a plain-old well-constructed jazz arrangement. That guitar solo kills me and I love the vocal harmonies. Oh, and the lyrics? Almost as classy as that walking bass line.


Gregg Boethin*
Nice bouncy fun-sounding song. Very sweet lyrics, too. The first solo guitar sounds distorted in a slightly weird way, but what would most benefit this song is a better mix. The first suggestion I'd have is just to carve some of the low frequencies out of any guitars and vocal tracks. I know I'm harping on the sound of it rather than the actual song, but that's because I think this is just a plain old good, well-performed song in this genre and the only thing that should be added or subtracted is some frequencies here or there. Nice work!


It's Chris
Hi Chris (if that is your real name), I don't suspect you'll get many votes for this entry for a number of reasons. My main reason for not voting for your song is that this doesn't sound like a song to me. It sounds like a rough demo of an idea which could be a song; however, it doesn't sound like a song. Don't let that stop you from entering, though! My first entry wasn't a full song, either. But just spend a little bit of thoughtful time if you like and get something out there and bring on some more songs, yeah!


J.A.N.
More vocals, please! The beat is very well-focused but my ears get easily fatigued by the whoop-whoop when they feel like they should be hearing your lyrics more clearly. Although I do like the instrumental sections, and appreciate the sprinkles of soundbytes here and there, they're tough to hear and as a result I end up focusing on a song that doesn't seem to change much.


John Lampson*
This is my song. I wanted to write a song I could also play on acoustic guitar live. Despite this thing being laden with bluesy guitar licks, it's totally doable. I do notice a few sections where the vocals got buried after the fact. I also don't feel like I have a very distinctive chorus to the average listener. One thing that improved this song was shaving about thirty seconds off of the end at the last minute and adding a different solo section. Always easy to be critical of yourself, isn't it? For a positive thing, I'd have to say that this sounds pretty damn good. Also, it's about my guitar, and my guitar is a truly awful lover.


Kevin Mellows*
The intro has a good energy. I'm excited to hear what you'll do with better-sounding virtual instruments because I find I like your stuff. What are you using to record your guitar? It sounds very virtual and, although that may be your best option, I find it can distract me quite a bit. You have a lot of nice parts in here - what I would see as the biggest improvement is just getting better sounds, whether that be from different instruments or EQ tricks or what. I do have a hard time hearing the vocals in the more dense parts of the mix but I like your song a lot and I feel it's well performed.


New Image*
I like that acoustic sound. Your voice reminds me of someone I can't put my mind's finger on. Maybe a mix of Clapton and someone else. Back to the song, though, it's a great retelling of this experience and just the right length for what it is and what it does.


Odilon Green
This is substantially different from the previous couple of tracks, and my first thought is that it's a bit of a joke. Is it? It is funny, and I can hear the vocals/lyrics very clearly. Although I don't find this grabbing me enough to garner a vote, I do appreciate the clever humor of the lyrics!



Whoph*
I find myself liking this right from the start. You do a great job of building this and still keeping tension. Even though there are these close-sounding intimate vocal parts, they get buried very easily. I'd probably turn up the kick a little, too. You do some great things instrumentally and with the vocals on this and the percussion. Around the three-minute it starts to drag a bit but you did a good job of bringing it back up. This strikes me as a bit long but I don't have much criticism at all on this.


WreckdoM
It's almost like you're daring people not to vote for this! Challenge accepted! It is pretty funny, but it doesn't seem to go anywhere. There might be something I'm missing here, though. That's a wrap!

Berkeley Social Scene

Vocals are a tad low, but otherwise the mix is great. Full featured and very satisfying stereo image. I like the subtle guitar riffs in stereo left during the second verse. Keeps it interesting without being distracting. I like the tiny ending extension, too. You guys perform with an ease and technical proficiency most of the rest of us aspire to some distant day. I just wish songs like this had a little more emotional punch. There's something just a little too laid back for my taste. I hope I'm not sounding like a broken record, but I feel like there's so much more potential lurking here. I hope you don't mind.

Caravan Ray

Can't help tapping my toes along with this, in spite of the fact that I don't like the vocal styling so much. You manage to keep the lyrics clear despite the processed sound, and that the vocals seem to be coming from the exact same spot as the distortion guitar. Abrupt ending! Feels more like an experiment than a full song, but I like the direction and enjoyed it overall.

The Chocolate Chips

What is that background sound starting around 0:45? I can almost make it out but not quite. It's super distracting for me and takes away from the otherwise really simple and nice arrangement. Once it cuts out, it's quite enjoyable. Is that some kind of echo effect? Or a muted background vocal? I'm totally baffled. Anyway, I like the simple groove and clear easy to listen to mix. The song itself is a little mellow but I think I understand what you were going for.

Crayon Cereal

I don't know why this always seems to happen to me, but I hear this track as completely blank - no sound at all. Once again, it shows as length 2:28, but no audio content plays.

DJ Ranger Den

So many great little moments in this vocal performance. "the day, the night" and lots of unexpected jazzy turns. I think there's too many breath sounds in the mix. I wonder if the vocal track compression is amplifying the start and ending breaths around phrases. I get that some of the sharp inhales are intentional and part of the sound. Just some light editing while listening to that track solo would help a lot, imho. As an overall song, I think this is too meandering for my taste. I'd love some more contrast, maybe even some light rhythm to create more energy around certain parts. And the ending is just too unexpected. It's like the song just stops without warning. Just seems a shame to waste such a strong vocal performance.

Foobar

This is my effort. I really tried to focus on the vocals and produce something more expressive than past weeks. I'm not thrilled being right after DJ Ranger Den in the alphabetical list, though, because listening to it right now it sounds a little feeble by comparison. Ah well, I'll keep working. Future Boy, I appreciate the comments on the drums and reverb. I agree it kind of got wishy-washy. Would love tips on how to avoid that in the future. Mixing drums is still a bit of a mystery to me.

Fred Haiyce

I love the idea of a tribute to the little sister, but the execution doesn't work for me. Reading the lyrics, I like it, but I can't really follow the track itself. Sorry, I really wanted to like this one.

Future Boy

I like the intro first 0:15 or so. Very smooth. I like how the synth texture fades in and out to make room for the rest of the arrangement. Vocals stay 100% crystal clear throughout. "she means a lot to me" is kind of heavy-handed. We totally get it. I'd much rather learn something specific or concrete about her or why she is so great. I really like the high energy chorus around 1:55, I wish more of the song was in that mode. The verses and breaks drag a bit for me in comparison. Whereas that chorus has a lot of authentic emotion in it.

glennny

Why didn't this jazz ensemble tune up before hitting record? Everything is just window dressing for the horn solo in the middle. That sounds so sweet, so clear. The rest I view as just a vehicle to get there. I wish it was longer.

Gregg Boethin

Vocals are a tad hard to hear. But I like the lyrics, at least what I can make out. The color description of her eyes is nice, for example. Strong performance all around. The guitar tone on the solo is a little odd to me. It has such a sharp attack on the start of each note, it almost sounds like it's clipping on my speakers. I can't tell if that's what you were going for. This starts to drag for me around 2:45. I wish the whole thing had just a little more energy or maybe some more contrast between sections. I think your vocal performance works really well at this tempo, because you can drag out some of those vowels great. But I wonder if the rest of it would be more fun at a faster tempo. Just a thought.

It's Chris

Keep at it. These lyrics suggest you have a lot of good ideas, and I look forward to hearing more.

J.A.N.

I alternate between being entertained and thinking this intro sounds like some kind of alien creature being tortured for information. The vocals continue the UFO theme. There's so much scifi craziness going on here I can't make out the lyrics very well. For example, the intermittent sound that kicks in starting around 1:15 is really hard for me to listen to. The dissonance is way too much for me. OMG it's getting worse. Around 2:02 I have to crank down the volume. I just can't take it. I had to stop before the end. Sorry, just not my cup of tea.

John Lampson

Right off I like the stereo field set up between the two guitars. So much more interesting than just the usual exactly doubled parts. You do a great job of showcasing many different guitar sounds, which is appropriate for the lyrical content. Towards the end, I kind of lose track of the song and its structure. Reading the lyrics, I think the repeat bit involving "in front of a crowd" is awesome, because we appreciate it so much more after the big reveal of what you're talking about. But listening to it (as opposed to just reading), it doesn't have much punch, because I don't really recognize the section as a repeat. I think it would help to have a couple of repeated riffs or simpler arrangement parts that recur to help the listener follow the sections. You can still have plenty of room to be virtuosic, but just leave room for a few hooks. It'll also give more power to the solo right after "i love how she sings" which is really the heart of the piece, imo. Your vocal performance is great once again. There are a few phrases here and there where I think you're a tiny bit wobbly and could use a few more takes. Happy to be more specific if that'd be helpful, but I feel like this review is going on and on so I should stop here.

Kevin Mellows

Satisfying if somewhat cliche intro, just about the perfect length. Would have liked the piano to be more stereo-balanced when it's the only instrument. Around 1:00 the high pitched guitar totally drowns out the vocals. The stereo image continues to bother me. It feels like the guitar drums and vocals are standing very close together stage left, and the piano is almost in another room off stage right. Vocal performance doesn't speak to me, and combined with the overpowering guitar tone, this whole thing is kind of turning me off. I'm trying to pay attention to the lyrics instead, but it's pretty hard to make out what the song is about. All that being said, there is a core sound to this track that sounds very familiar. The descending chords remind me of something pop (that I like) that I've heard before, but I'm having trouble placing it.

New Image

Guitar sounds slightly out of tune to me. Vocals sound like you are straining at times, which is a shame because I like the song and your emotion feels heartfelt. I like the simple arrangement. Guitar performance is nice. Definitely approve of the use of the word "solace" especially. Like.

Odilon Green

OK, it took too long for the joke to surface. I couldn't decide if you were trying to be serious for the first 0:50. Now this is funny, in a Twilight Zone of way. Mix is clear and easy to follow, too.

Whoph

Serious way to start. Very pop. I like the vocal effects and the music, but the snaps a little distracting. Reminds me a bit of Jed Whedon And The Willing. I like how the intensity builds through the first 1:30. I kind of wish it was a straight build from the very start, without the softer interlude. I really like that bass synth sound, whatever that is. You kind of alternate between two textures, one which is that bass plus the piano, and then one which doesn't have a lot of low end to it. I really like the bass texture a lot more than the other one, especially when you have multiple voices going, like around 3:20. Heartfelt and fun to listen to. I wish it was more tightly edited, as some parts in the middle meander a bit. Overall, though, I think it's my favorite texture in this fight. Very memorable.

WreckdoM

You've trained me to turn down the volume and cringe a little more when I click the link. This is funny and totally silly. Why are you obsessed with Roger Corman? I can't believe I enjoyed that, but I guess I did. Well done?

Berkeley Social Scene - Nicely soft-rocking and very polished. I definitely liked it, especially the pre-chorus and chorus, but didn't quite love it enough for a vote.

Caravn Ray - Cool punky music and snotty vocals. A very solid job. VOTE

The Chocolate Chips - I think this immediate redirecting from "her" to "him" is a bit of a thematic cheat, but it's a fun cheat, and I enjoyed listening to this song, especially the Satan "reveal" thirty seconds in. I don't think it quite gets a vote, but it does get a big smiley face.

Crayon Cereal - Ah, unrequited love. But while the lyrics seem pretty earnest, the singing sounds a bit sarcastic to me, and I just couldn't reconcile the two.

DJ Ranger Den - The singing works wonderfully; it sounds wounded and raw and fits well with the clever lyrics. The music is almost a bit too understated to me, and not that memorable on its own, but it melds well with the singing, so I don't really know what I'm complaining about. VOTE

Foobar - this is the kind of dramatic Meat Loaf-lite song that I admit I'm a sucker for. Dramatic music, dramatic singing, dramatic relationship issues, all add up to a dramatic VOTE from me.

Fred Haiyce - I recognize this is pretty basic -- percussion loops, undermixed vocals, etc. -- but it's quirky and grabbed my attention and I came oh so close to voting for it. But then that abrupt end came and I just couldn't. Was it accidentally cut off or something?

Future Boy - This had a very '70s feel to me. Really liked that in-your-face bass paired with the more subdued piano, and then the claps and organ come in and it's all AOR bliss. Might be a little long for what it is, but what it is is lots of fun, so a big happy-smile VOTE from me.

glenny - The delivery of the punny lyrics seems a bit too understated to me, even if it's in keeping with the jazzy music. And as a matter of personal taste, I'm not that into jazz either. So I couldn't quite get into this song.

Gregg Boethin - This country tune had me hooked from the get-go with the too-detailed exploration of what her eyes look like. Almost a parody song, but reasonably subtle and definitely tuneful, and worth a VOTE.

It's Chris - I appreciate the lo-fi tuneful strumming and directness, but couldn't quite get into this one. Definitely looking forward to the next one, though.

J.A.N. - I had some problems with the opening, but once the vocals come in and it sounds more 90s electronica, I grew to like it quite a bit. Still, it's still a bit "busy" for me, and I have a hard time making out the lyrics, so I'm not sure what the "her" reference is.

John Lampson - Good bar-rock tune, and I can almost smell the beer all the way on this side of the computer. The "realness" of this (I can feel how special that guitar is to you!) gets it a VOTE.

Kevin Mellows - Cool electric guitar. Has a nice late-night vibe to it. This would work great on an overnight drive down a long highway. VOTE

New Image - Lovely guitar part, but the lyrics, although sung well and with conviction, were a little too sensitive / New Age for my personal tastes. Still, I definitely enjoyed the listen.

Odilon Green - Me. Gosh, I wish I could sing. So I sing in funny character voices instead to give me confidence. Also, I know this song is very stupid. But, on a relisten, I still like it, and no one can take that away from me. So I'm happy.

Whoph - Sounds very professional, and I can see the tremendous skill here. But even when it picks up a bit, it's still a bit too jazzy / mellow for my tastes (and also feels a bit long). Not a criticism so much as an admission; I just had a hard time staying with the song for the full length.

WreckdoM - I don't quite get it. I mean, I get what's literally being sung about, but, well . . . no, I don't get it.

I hope there are not errors in these reviews, but we are going to hear a good friend's newly mastered jazz album and to dinner so I have to leave it be. I hope I do not offend and that everyone is having a nice day.
-RangerD.


Greg Boethin: This makes me feel like I’m having a dream where I’m ice skating in Nashville - but with fuzzy aliens. You have a not country-but-close thing going for me. The chorus sticks its landing when it arrives. My mind is still rejecting the Straight Up Country definition, so it grabbed compare-y sticky tabs from the Flaming Lips section of itself for some reason. I spent a lot of time trying to think “Who does he sound like?” I know this happens to me a lot and lately I’ve been thinking “oh, this is because I did not hit them in the face with awesomeness in my song..." I need to sound like my CHARACTER…” Still it's nice to be challenged out of your instant associations and to come across something with uniquey-potential … but if you could temper the things that pull you out of Same-Old Same-Old and make them flavor rather than distractions. I was too busy focusing on the unique sonic flower that was You to really focus on The Song. So it could be fine tuned.

It’s Chris
a “Beatles-countoff” here leads into the long-suffering lead vocal of one of the cool kids. The line about “something I wish I knew before” could have been repeated. The ending on “Her” was great. I tried to judge this on its own merit because it worked atmospherically for what it was. I think your voice would sound great in an alt-rock band too, in my imagination at least. This song needed to be stuck at the end credits of some appropriate “but… ehhh! ehhh!” movie scene to have a shot of relevance for something other than just being a Thing to build on for later. Anything else you’d want for it would need an angry band with a matching attitude. But setting a scene of any kind is a good thing.

Foobar
the sound is luscious with a bass almost too epic for itself with tasteful drums and cymbal bordering on barely annoying against the piano’s straight pattern. The lilting vocal lines I like but they come off a little too dry over the part, which is much more sonically lush in comparison (probably due to the piano and perhaps the treatment as well). Good length and strong playing. Your songs always begin so full of a You-Characteristic, and the uniqueness always shows lots of promise. Developing on this and using an uncommon set-up as a vehicle for what a song wants could make things even more distinguishing. Again, uniqueness = good if it can be tightened, tightened, tightened. This is what I tell myself, at least.

CRay
Your voice is so ANNOYING in this, perfectly matching the arrangement, making it much less annoying. Really good lyrics, very entertaining presentation and as usual you say “here is your mood for this tune - now get in it” and we do what we are told. The really good thing about you is that you write the song, and it writes you and you make an agreement and go at it like consenting adults. A story or mood or something gets told. One of those people where you don’t know what you’re going to hear when Play is pushed. Drums sound the way I would like drums to sound if I had the personnel to play this kind of music, which I secretly would like to do, all by myself, so it’s not a secret anymore I guess. You’re kind of an enigma.

CrayonCereal
“Blue moon…moon blue / if I have too” is a GREAT lyric and I wish that I had written that. The whole thing is fairly clever and cute, with notable arrivals and some good zingers in there like that opener I mentioned. Your voice I have decided I would like to hear belt to a band. I want her to dump him and like you too. Sell it! I should write more but I don't have a lot to say. I'm very sorry. Once again, I appreciate good words-writing.

Kevin Mellows
This was very sonically confusing to me. It sounds like you are fighting with the guitar for vocal supremacy and the piano feels that it’s about time for both voices to take the night off because he’s also gone rogue. The piano knows what it's doing though and can play stuff, I think the guitar and the piano want to see other people or something. Everyone in the band has its own idea so it’s hard to pay attention to the lyrics even - I do hear there’s a lot of earnestness and passion so ‘It’s Complicated.’ It doesn’t deserve this terrible metaphor I just inflicted upon it, that’s for sure. Guide the passion into more restrained performances done at levels that can’t be argued with and your will can be done.

WreckdoM
Superb arrangement but mostly in the red (so was Future Boy’s and I just upgraded a bunch of stuff, maybe I need to recalibrate everything? hmmm. back to your actual review….)
“In the Year 2014 / there will be a lot of WreckDoM …” wins you all of the titles. It’s the perfect band. This was like a nightmare dinosaur lullaby with Creepy Dream Elements. I love this. I just posted on your Facebook wall. I had to do something fangirly. Y’all are awesome. I hope I didn’t ruin the surprise. I would smile here but there are police - but hey! Vote for WreckDoM! In all seriousness, the way you set up a theatric rock show both live and in recordings is done with intentionality as well and never just sounds like you’re goofing off into a mic in any kind of a bad way, it’s always entertaining. It takes a good production ethic to pull off the musical and comedic and this often goes unsung.

Whoph
your voice is gorgeous! this is intriguing. the snappy bits were a bit pop-pop confusing and distracted me from the thrust of your vocal and the bass could have been rounder and more caress-y around the mix. Maybe. There was something about the whole set-up that seemed to call for the contrast, like you had a hot-buttered-robot-baby-doll kind of thing going. For activity or mood-listening, this length seems appropriate but less so for a focused listen, it wasn’t that kind of song for me. It could almost use a dance remix, that might be stellar. If I was driving a car into oblivion, I could see getting wrapped up in this tune, but sitting here trying to criticize it made it inappropriate. You suffer from environment, I think. Not your problem, of course.

John Lampson
Read your lyrics first, and liked them. UNH! That kick! You are DEFINITELY playing in 3/4. You have the presence in the bottom that I find hard to get. Something that if, the rest of the arrangement were spaced tastefully and beautifully, would be very impactful I think. The stops are nice, but everything going so strong on the beats not so much - like you are overstating a good point with a funereal plod rather than a more chill hangback, all beats when just one would have done. This is another one where the guitar is really trying to be a hero when it should be a supporting actor and let the singer be who he is, only to come out with a delightfully interesting and different guitar tone during a solo. The tone used throughout the song wasn’t really appropriate for what it was trying to be.

Future Boy
The development in this song, the way it rises and falls, taking breaths and guiding us pleasantly through sections rather than sounding like it followed a songwriter rulebook was a treat. Good presentation, yet for me the bass voice was a bit more than mildly hairy and distracting. Everything was mixed well, although things were a tad hot in my meters (I’m wondering if that is me, I just upgraded things). I’m probably too conservative about low end voices, to my own detriment. The “space in her heart / heartless” line was great. Yes I did hear some singing-things, but I thought it had a charm to it that matched the Adorability Factor of your synths, which were and always are stellar. It always sounds like you have a family of electrons helping you tell the little stories of your life.

Odilon Green
I was locked into the plot of this the entire time. It was original and great and you handled everything expertly. It’s cheesy and dorky and well presented and silly. And not too long. Awwwwww. What a meany! That line about uh … well .. um … poor guy ... I’m in stitches. It made the Her album diverse and more uplifting. I don’t have anything negative to say about what is basically a funny little time passer that would go really well on a comedy record or a nerdy podcast or one of those online radio chat things that are happening now-a-days.

Berkeley Social Scene
This tune is a well put together jam with a pleasing top line and feels comfy. The way the ensemble handled that-clever-yet-still-accessible progression was ...pleasing, and yet … I kept trying to figure out WHY the pre-chorus / chorus combination bothered me. There was HOOK there, at the beginning, with a fairly well constructed antecedent (particularly in the pre-chorus) and a nice round sonority; well balanced across a good spectrum with nothing distracting poking out. But melodically speaking, those neat changes should have set the scene for something a little more outstanding to carry the chorus out to that sophisticated little verse vamp. It didn’t seem to deliver, both lyrics and melody feeling lazy over something with such structural potential. The song is a good show of musicianship though, which is de rigueur for your band.

New Image
I’d call you quirky. I like this. Almost. There’s sorta kinda absolutely nothing wrong with your voice but it’s not at the top of the podium for me. There are moments where I think that you’re going to break into something that is going to make the song and your vocal be IT for me. But it never grabs. I feel bad saying this to you until I remember I have songs of my own that I just don’t listen to and they make me go “meh….” As for this on its own however, you’re an intriguing singer and I’ve got that lick stuck in my head. The song really RELIES on that lick, in fact. But will the ear worm stay there and stand up to the stimuli that big world has to offer? And I really wish it hadn’t ended like that.

J.A.N.
This really jams. Oh, hi j$. What to say… okay, in the verses this is really la-la-la-la-la-la on straight eights and could use some variation of texture, maybe? That thump drum which is so wonderful gets a little lost but drive is still there and I can see a stage production with an angry robot assassins chorus line. It’s hard to catch the gist of all the lyrics. particularly since there’s this fuzziness that goes on and on and your chorused vocal is so full of this “woosh” sound (not the scientific term). I did like the dance-y feel, you do that really well without fail but this was a little assault-to-the-ears for too long and could have varied. Or … not? My poor brain was glad when the buzzing was over and maybe that was part of the whole zazzzzzyyz thing. Hmm.

Fred Haiyce
This is a fun bit of looping that ends abruptly and you talk fast well. The lyrics are really cool. If you had some more things coming through it and some other voices helping you out, it might flesh out to sound more like A Song that went to finish. I heard some real percussive horns in my imagination, for instance. There could also be more percussive elements on top of the drums to make them be a little less stock, some wood sounds maybe. It needs a bit of bass (nothing obtrusive, just some slaps, perhaps) and maybe some light organ, some fills, a bit of a moving part here and there and light comping. Nothing overdone with that much movement. It’s nice to have a song in here written to a family member and lyrics were smile-y to read. I was looking forward to it and I did bop to the drums.

The Chocolate Chips
:O
I’m going to review glennny. And gather my thoughts. Then I’m going to deal with you.

glennny
I spent the entire set of reviews waiting to see how these lines of yours were going to play out. So I already laughed when I read the lyrics and after the mess at the beginning when this cruise ship departed, I laughed again. Great drums and a lovely and pleasing guitar tone lubricates charmingly painful puns and soloing that honestly could have been more gratuitous and wasn’t. That was a surprise, and a well placed and pleasant one because time was needed to react to the funny-ass chorus. It was nicely done and you couldn’t have picked more appropriately silly and genre appropriate notes and comically stacked harmonies. You didn’t go too far and add the obligatory scat solo either and the accents were whimsical and fun. Slight imperfections in the execution but skillfully performed and recorded and it comes off as sounding real Tiki Room. Cheers.

Okay, Chips.
First, a list of what your chorus COULD be saying. I looked in the Lyrics Archive.
1. The Dark Potato. 2. The Dark Mo Tatum 3. The Dark Road Taken 4. The Duck no tape in. 5. The dark no, taint in. (sorry - your fault).
What are you saying!?!? Do I want to know? What is this song about? Do I just have a dirty mind? Maybe you’re just making macaroni! Aaggh!

I just gave up as I got further from the truth. Some of these aren’t even close. This song feels very lascivious and I actually clapped my hand over my mouth as I was appreciating the production of it. But I sure was paying attention to the song! And it was because of a combination of production and the other stuff. So I love the way you always have A Characteristic Sound and it doesn’t step on your mission, in this case - a song which seems very inappropriate and confusing and funny and possibly up my alley with cool mellotrony sounds and clever development. Your bridge is … uh … set up really well! You really got your point across. Sheesh. When the bass comes in on the embarrassing bridge I feel like I’ve walked into the late 70s and there’s this party going on that I shouldn’t be in and ….
god never mind.
It ends too abruptly. It could hang on a little longer. That felt a little sloppy. But perhaps you ought to be a little blushy.

Me (DJ Ranger Den)
Writing this song was good for me so I brought Chris in at the end of it. I didn’t want to do the wrong thing at the end. It is correct that there was some production discussion of the song ending before the bridge, but I couldn’t part with it. There’s another version of it with some chords happening after the bridge and the song was originally longer with yet another chorus but that was too, too long. It’s still being hashed out. I also have some more instruments that I made for it, some vibraphones and other synth-y noises. I’m thinking about some swells and gongs (a la Vest Factory) too or maybe trying it Jazz Band style at some point. I like the feel of the lyrics on this one and I wrote it at the piano, words and music all at once. I usually like those the best. I’m going to keep working on it. I can already perform it, so I’ll probably do a video.

Thank you very much for writing songs and for your comments on mine.

Hey guys! Here's my yummy review for all y'alls:

Berkeley Social Scene*
I like the reverb on the vocals. Great mix, but the instruments could be more present. I like the separation of the instruments, they are clear. VOTE.

Caravan Ray
Woah man, this song needs some bass. The highs are very piercing. I like the energy of the song.

The Chocolate Chips*
“He’s the one I recommend for fun” was stuck in my head all day. Interesting backwards effect in the left. I like the bass part in the pre-chorus. VOTE.

Crayon Cereal
Not very good recording quality. I didn’t like how she “likes Maroon 5 and singing”, and you “like none of those things”. But given the singing and chord progression of this song it’s a bit hypocritical.

DJ Ranger Den*
Love the space the vocals sit in. Great chord progression, it flows beautifully. I like how the vocals have almost a whispering quality, it fits the emotion of the lyrics. VOTE.

Foobar*
Really love the wide piano sound here. Vocals are super clear. Your snare sounds like a wet pizza box, but the cymbals are clear. One small gripe, the very last chord didn’t need to be cut out so quickly, let it ring out a little more. VOTE.

Fred Haiyce
I like what you’re trying to do, but I can’t make out the lyrics much. Also those drum beats are kind of whack.

Future Boy*
Great production! Wow, everything is super clear and present. I was a little thrown off by the arrangement, I thought it would get bigger one last time. By the way- I had to wash a bunch of dishes the other day so I thought I would go through the songfight again but see how the songs sound in the background. Even though I had the sink going and was playing these tunes from a small tablet, I could STILL make out the vocals and feel of this song. So good job! VOTE.

Glenny*
My native instrument is drums, so it’s a pleasure to listen to your arrangements! The lyrics make me laugh. I love the line “a grab a drink and lose shirt”. Great tune, everything is nicely balanced, but I think the vocals could be a little clearer. VOTE.

Gregg Boethin*
Crisp and slick production. I don’t care that this song is only three chords, it’s well made. Thanks for the tune! VOTE.

It’s Chris
Sorry man, this didn’t work for me, but I can relate to the lyrics.

J.A.N.
Woah man, this song is intense! I like the screaming, sweeping stuff in the left and right, but not through so much of the song, I feel like this song doesn’t give enough breathing room for the listener.

John Lampson*
Yes, this is clear and well made. I like the vibrato in your voice. The drums sound a little stiff. I like how you ran with this weeks prompt. VOTE.

Kevin Mellows
This is me. I made some mistakes with this production- I didn’t mix it well and then I juiced it too hard with a limiter so it sounds quieter that it should and has a weird pumping effect. Ha, there’s my confession. Otherwise I like this song, I hope you enjoy it too. It’s about a beautiful girl that lights up a room.

New Image*
I really like the melody of your verse, I find it’s catchier than the chorus melody. I like the simplicity of the production. Vocals are are clear, good job! VOTE.

Odilon Green
I read the lyrics for this song before hearing it, and I was really looking forward to this one because the story has many twists and is really interesting. But I wasn’t expecting this song to sound like an alien sang it, lol.

Whoph*
Love the feel of the vocals! Sometimes its hard to make out what you’re saying, but good job on the backup vocals, they support the main voice really well. Great production, this one had my head bobbing. VOTE.

WreckdomM
Well… Hmmm… You completely ignored this week’s prompt in favour of writing a song about yourself. Nope, no vote from me. But keep on shining you crazy star.

Cheers,
-Kevin

Kevin Mellows wrote: You completely ignored this week’s prompt in favour of writing a song about yourself.

One of the ten nominations for best picture this year is Spike Jonze's "Her", a film about a man who falls in love with his computer's female personae, which I personally have never seen. I understand if you don't care for our song, but it's title was certainly not ignored in it's creation.

Geoff WreckdoM wrote:

Kevin Mellows wrote: You completely ignored this week’s prompt in favour of writing a song about yourself.

One of the ten nominations for best picture this year is Spike Jonze's "Her", a film about a man who falls in love with his computer's female personae, which I personally have never seen. I understand if you don't care for our song, but it's title was certainly not ignored in it's creation.

Ah, haha, that flew right over my head!

Chips...

You're saying Satan, aren't you? I should have looked at the other reviews. I don't like them to bias me. I just feel dweeby now.
*sigh*
a pickle.. I'm going to watch the video. Tomorrow.

I noticed a lot more experimentation this week. "Her" inspires a wide breadth of styles, and some of them expanded some of those well established already.

Berkeley Social Scene
Quite a departure from the GD style I'm used to. Doubled vocals with depth have my knees swaying. I think this has a new wavy feel thats really cool. Now, is that Ken on vocals? If yes I'm getting ready to begin the Ken Fan Club. No doubt you all are a mixture of the great talents in your circle. The ending is nutty but I like the taste of the whole ordeal.*

Caravan Ray
Manic from the first millisecond. However, it just doesnt get over the angst threshold. I dont know if you were trying for that, but I felt you trying to get the punk feel so thats why I say that. What I mean is, its got the punkish jumping forward/jumping back imagery, but its not 'angry?' enough. Maybe the verse vocal lines are just a word or two too long. You know the punk feel where they blurt out 5 2-syllable words at most? Yours are more sophisticated, thus longer and not so biting.

The Chocolate Chips
Ah my friend, a folkish rendering. And with your innate ability to make a head swinging tune, it sounds pretty good. But I have to add, there are parts (like in the chorus) where there's some background vocals that intrude - theyre very faint but I can tell there's someone there. I wish they werent. I've come to the conclusion that vocals are the first part of a song that gets criticized, maybe because everyone can sing, well, I forgot bob dylan. Anyway, thats why I bring up the background vocals. Even if the vocals are perfect, if there's a badly placed passage, it becomes the sore spot. People forgive perfect instrumental work, but vocals always get nailed. My submissions and their reviews are proof of that. So all I'm saying is that you've done better mixing. But as always, I enjoyed listening to the song very much.

Crayon Cereal
Now I think this could be a pretty good tune. The vocals are good - you have a good voice. Your uke playing is great. Now for the impressions: the mix gets overdriven in the chorus - get a separate mike for the uke and one for your voice. Also spring for at least a four-track recorder. I found my first one on craigslist for $50. Even cheap mikes and a low-budget recorder would have let you add more dynamicism without clipping. You did this in one take right? If so, its very good.

DJ Ranger Den
Wow. I like this. All of a sudden "If I could look like anyone in the world" the chord progression behind "like" is off - not your singing, its the choice of the chord. I need to say its not your song or your singing that I'm criticizing - because I love the song and your delivery. Its such a minor thing to pick on, yes, but it stood out only because everything was happening so perfectly. The rest of the song proceeded to flow really well. One thing though, near the end you are using more of the acoustic piano than the synth as you were at the beginning. I really like the airy feel of the synth. Overall, top-flight.*

Foobar
Really really nice work. Wow - lots of hooks. "and it awwwlll fades away" excellent. Nice open spaces. Your use of side instrumentation at various times is good for attracting a distracted listener. I'm not one of them, it hold my interest. This is by far your best work yet. Super duper my friend, super.*

Fred Haiyce
First off, rap to me is a vocal with some instrumentation. So the vocals have to be way out in front. I hear your vocals and they are buried. The lyrics sound pretty good, but again, I cant make out your story. It moves, yes, but without clear enunciation, you lost me.

Future Boy
Soul with a new age background first came to me. And its not bad at all. Your vocals are clear and good. I like the chorus ("no space in her heart for me"). The verses up to then were keeping me at a ho-hum level, but when you get going at the bridge, interest picks up. The synthed whistle is really intriguing, I wasnt expecting it at all. I was let down with the verse following the bridge. But overall, I've always been a fan of soul, and you captured the spirit here.

glennny
Someday when you make an album of your submissions to SF, you will include this as a trinket of the style so uniquely yours. I always know what to expect: always well done. Always right in line with the genre. Always well mixed. All harmonies are so cool. Always the touch of humor. You are amazing. Noone else here is as consistently 'always'.

Gregg Boethin
Watch out for that well-worn intro. Even tho you did it well, it has been used so many times before that you have to add some uniqueness to it so it doesnt sound pedestrian. Now, your voice is great. Clear, and it mixes well with the instrumentation. However, even tho I like country rock, it stays layed down too long. Why not mix it up a bit with a key change or speed it up somehow in parts?

It's Chris
OK, chris? This is a bit better than your "Crayon" submission, more edgy. Kind of raw.

J.A.N.
I cant help but think of that fat korean guy with the glasses. But I'm laughing anyway.

John Lampson
Kind of dirgy sounding. Was that what you were looking to do? Up until you started into the "battle axe" slamming of her, I thought this was almost dangerously real. Now, if you play this for your real "her" on valentines day, she damn better have a sense of humor or your gonna get a real axe in the skull. But for me, I think its great.

Kevin Mellows
Ha, sorry but I thought I was hearing "wake up sleepy jean" for a moment. Ok, now you and glenny must share a gene in your DNA. Cuz this is an electrified glenny tune. The feel is same to me. I think if this is your style, its gonna get contagious around here, and I won't mind a bit.*

New Image
Well, I wrote this for my mom. I was channeling my stepdad. I loved him very much and he raised me. He passed the weekend before last. He and my mom always gave me their praise. He was a navy captain. I did this in about 2 hours before leaving for my mom. I was still there with her when this fight was posted, and played this for her. Thanks for that.

Odilon Green
I needed to laugh, and this came up. Thanks! Clever use of overlayed verse lines. I hope this is your style. Because its done well, and easy to listen to. This must have taken quite a bit of work to record and mix because its very clear and precise.

Whoph
I cant help but recall the group "America" here with the harmonies and sparse instrumentation. But the clicking percussion is somewhat distracting, maybe too "clicky". Nice experimentally. What's with the continuous All Aboard? Are we going to ride a train? If so, that needs to be empasized. I was confused. Other than that, this is really sophisticated and interesting. Very good.

WreckdoM
Geez geoff. What is it about aliens that inspired you and some others this week? I thought of the guy who introduces "SvenGoulie" on TV on saturday nites while listening. Wait a minute, what about that song from the '60s called "in the year 2025" was that on your mind? Anyway, I'm vamping because my head feels like it's being trampled and even though it doesnt hurt, it sure is breaking, er, wrecking something.*

That's me on vocals for BSS this week. Our usual singer Martin couldn't make it the night we tracked the vocals so I filled in.

Thanks for all the reviews everyone! I'm about halfway through mine.

"But the clicking percussion is somewhat distracting, maybe too "clicky". Nice experimentally. What's with the continuous All Aboard? Are we going to ride a train? If so, that needs to be empasized."

In hindsight, the clicks are mixed too high. I was all self-congratulatory about my ballpoint-pen-percussion so I wanted it to be up in the mix. But anyway, I agree with you.

And the "all aboard" is referencing boats, which some of my other lyrics reference. About halfway through writing, I was like "oh Herrrrr! She's a boat!" Anyhow, thanks again for the positive feedback, and I'm hugely appreciative of the criticisms from everyone's fresh ears!

In strict order of preference:


1. DJ Ranger Den: Excellent. Great vocals. Great lyrics. Great production.

2. Crayon Cereal: Nice work. Good song. Good simple delivery

3. J.A.N: Good. Very cool music. Vox needs to stand out more

4. The Chocolate Chips: I like this. Nice devil vox.

5. Gregg Boethin: Cool melody. Good work, though I find the lead guitar a touch overdone

6. Foobar: Sounds pretty good. Like the lyrics. Good vox - though the odd phrase here and there sounds a little rushed.

7. Womph: Like the idea of the clicks - but they sound a little messy. Otherwise this os pretty good. Good vocals.

8. WreckdoM: it's 2014. I'll vote for Wreckdom

9. Berkeley Social Scene: This is pretty good. Like the chorus. Not sure if the guitar rhythm of the verses really works.

VOTE
------------------------------------------------------------------------------VOTE LINE
NO VOTE

10. glennny: "liquor in the front, poker in the rear"?!?! Oh dear glennny - even I wouldn't write a line like that. Well done - but a bit too jazzy for me (but I guess you already knew I would say that)

11. John Lampson: Bit too laid-back West Coast for me - but it is a clever lyrical idea well executed.

12. New Image: Nice

13. Fred Haiyce: If this had a tight vocal delivery - it could be pretty cool - but it doesn't quite make it. Nice effort anyway.

14. Future Boy: Not really grabbing me. Bit robotic sounding, but not in a good way

15. Odilon Green: Like the lyrics - but find the overlapping of the lines quite annoying. Not a fan of the music or vocal delivery

16. Kevin Mellows: Finding the vocals a bit off key or something. Maybe that's just me. And I prefer lead guitar in much smaller doses - seem a bit overdone here

17. It's Chris: Not getting much out of this. Hard to hear vocals and a few rhythm fluffs put me off.

Kevin Mellows wrote: Odilon Green
I read the lyrics for this song before hearing it, and I was really looking forward to this one because the story has many twists and is really interesting. But I wasn’t expecting this song to sound like an alien sang it, lol.

Sigh. That's my nerd voice, not my alien voice. Isn't that obvious?

Kevin Mellows wrote:

Geoff WreckdoM wrote:

Kevin Mellows wrote: You completely ignored this week’s prompt in favour of writing a song about yourself.

One of the ten nominations for best picture this year is Spike Jonze's "Her", a film about a man who falls in love with his computer's female personae, which I personally have never seen. I understand if you don't care for our song, but it's title was certainly not ignored in it's creation.

Ah, haha, that flew right over my head!

It's still over my head. Maybe great art is not meant to be understood.

EvelBist wrote: DJ Ranger Den
Wow. I like this. All of a sudden "If I could look like anyone in the world" the chord progression behind "like" is off - not your singing, its the choice of the chord. I need to say its not your song or your singing that I'm criticizing - because I love the song and your delivery. Its such a minor thing to pick on, yes, but it stood out only because everything was happening so perfectly. The rest of the song proceeded to flow really well. One thing though, near the end you are using more of the acoustic piano than the synth as you were at the beginning. I really like the airy feel of the synth. Overall, top-flight.*

Hmmm. I thought about this. Why did I do it? I think I wanted the dissonance in the piano of that Bb because I wanted that sixth to REALLY feel resolve-y. Plus, I have a habit of using "Re" as a dissonance when I write pieces that have chords with added 6ths. I liked that cluster sound that the I chord makes with all those tones, but spread across two timbres (voice and piano) maybe it is a little unexpected. But I was going for swampy in a little bit of a lazy, blurry way. Maybe subconsciously I thought the dissonance could be trying to get you used to the idea that it's going to get a little grumpy and there are more Bb-s to come that could be played as part of clusters in any of the chords - because really, it's a blues tune. Who knows why I do things, sometimes they aren't deliberate, because I try to do things that feel right to me. But you are correct, the 2nd scale degree isn't meant to show up in the accompaniment until the chorus ... technically.

I.A.A.C. W.A.I.L.

BSS = my, those drums are quiet in the mix (at least on headphones) - a pretty melody (with an unpleasant tinge of yacht rock to it. The weird cod-reggae off-beat guitars aren't saving it. Loving that moog-VST patch mind) - Short sit back and consider... hmmm, this is either the best song I've heard and hated, or the worst that I've heard and loved. What's that weird far-too-fast clicky sticks thing going on about 2.20? Who thought that was a good idea? I mean ... couldn't you have sung "All of your bases belong to her"? You clearly wanted to. Ok I am just half-drunkenly f**king around. I think is is a very pretty and pleasnt song but I'm not sure it's going to stay with me too long.

CR - Doctor Caravan Ray, I presume? That's great. Yeah. I'd like some more dirty grind on the guitar tone, but otherwise what else here is not to like? Like the pay-off especially.

Chocolate Chips - I go away for a mere year and The Dark Lord Satan made you pick up a guitar? Get back where you belong,doing amazing harmonies and keyboard gymnastics, and stop vote-whoring with forgettable crap like this. That said, that's a lovely bass line. Really, I continue to wait for the e-mail inviting collaboration and this, though very well done, breaks my heart because it's empty. NICE ONE!

Crayon Cereal - Does anyone actually play the ukulele anymore? Is it 2008 still? You mentioned Maroon 5 and lost me. You have a nice vocal timbre, and the overall mood is pleasant, i suppose. But I had to listen 4 times to be sure you CAN'T PRONOUNCE "PESSIMISTIC" - ha ha ha! Please tell me I either misheard or that's deliberate! I jest, this is pretty, and doesn't really outstay its welcome all that much, but it doesn't speak to a black empty soul like me. Go on, mis-pronounce "pessimistic" again! That was my pestimistic highlight

DJ Ranger Den - This is very pretty while being about a minute long for what it is. This could be end-of-set lighters-out woopin' song, had I not just given up smokin' again and thus am without lighter. You do this all so well. I want to hear you fronting early Cabaret Voltaire or the Residents. Which, incidentally, will explain why J.A.N. will be in touch shortly.

Foobar - loving that swelly drone background keyboard in the background. "guns won't fire and my lungs won't scream" is not my favourite lyric sample of the week, it must be admitted. I think this is a very well performed song; unfortunately I don't buy into the sensitivity it's selling. I am not convinced. That's not just the synth "grand piano" setting, or the uncomfortably-close-to-coldplay impact. It's just don't sound either full of loathing or regret. Sorry, man. It's a good sound, it's just not a believable one for me.

Fredhaiyce - Now this is great. Could do with a spare synth giving it a melodic anchor, right? Not listening too closely to the lyric, bizarrely, in case it stops me giving this the VOTE it deserves. Next time do a low-end compression on your drum track give it a crushing power, if there's nothing else, right?

FB - I knew it was you, without checking, within 10 seconds. it's lovely pretty. As ever with FB I love what's going in the background more than what's kicking in foreground town... that bitcrush bass thing is very nice. it's great to hear you. I am not sure this is my fav. FB song (and you always have to go Herbie Hancock, don't you?) but it has an ambition and purpose that is sorely lacking elsewhere.

GLENNY - Jazzzzzzzz. I am having a deja vu flash back to a previous review ... great sound, and admiration for going for a style that requires more than most musicians have, even when it appears so easy ... "Bogart in the rear"? Obviously not, but I'm having that for FAWM. Lovely solo. You sould get DJ Ranger Den to vocalise your jazzy side. You can sing, but I think it's a very exposed genre vocally - I wouldn't touch it myself for instance ... deja vu, right?

Gregg Boethin - For songfight.org contest, I chose to review this in a sentence which is a rhetoricalquestion.org - why does anyone with this much talent choose to waste it on a flat parody of a music no-one actually dislikes? *skip at 1.45*

It's Chris - Hey, it's Chris! Everyone, it's CHRIS! Over here, quick, it's CHRIS! CHRIS! You know, Chris? No? Chris? The guy who was playing ukulele in a corner at the party while everyone else was outside? The guy who thought singing "Fuck her" was funny? Yeah, right, OK, so let's go outside. Where the party is.

J.A.N. Ooooof. This is a three-way (tee hee!) Can't hear the lyric? Poor you. They are not meant to be heard. Oh, I could do with a break from the relentless repetition? Poor you. Dance, bitches, dance. I torture robots for a living. What's your excuse? Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Rather her than me.

John Lampson - it's not really "my bag", but I like it. It's got drive, a strong melody, a confident delivery ... I'm not sure about the lyric at all - it kind of goes off into all kinds of areas that don't make sense.. your childhood sweetheart gets called a battleaxe? Did you date a cougar? No, actually, the lyric ruins this for me. It's not witty or smart enough to justify wasting my listening time. Frankly I like her more than you. Goodbye and *skip*. Sorry.

Kevin Mellows - Jesus, let that be your real name. There is nothing wrong with this, per se, but equally, nothing right, either. "The floor gets ignited by her"? Yuk. Also,someone call H&S. Awful 80s John Parr metal solo-ing is doing nothing for me. Oh gawd, I feel like I'm kicking a puppy when I tell you I can't listen to another second ... skipppppppppppppp

New Image - an interesting choice of name for a musician from whom I hear nothing new whatsoever - which I don't mean as a bad thing, per se, as long as the song is good ... I have a problem with emotive singing when what is being sung about is in no way emotive "Lord, take me down to Boston, just me, just me"? That's not a good line, sir, IMO, but it's the only one that stands out. Neil Young would probably love this... "Our lives have intertwined in solace" , "My glass raised to words"?????? Words are not raising their glass to you, that's for sure.

Odlion Green - Hello Fred Schneider, can we get gay married? I like this a hella-lot! It has all the things that should fucking annoy the shit out of me (nerd-rap about aliens) but damn it, but I like it, and the story evolves at just the rate from hate to like which I approve of. Not the best song ever, or even the best song in this fight, but one of the two so far who are getting a VOTE. Please remember to write a chorus next time, which isn't just backing vocals over the verse riff, or you'll never get a vote from me again.

Whoop-H (?) There are a whole bunch of things I like about this (the vocals, the relaxed approach, the amazing sex-bass) in many ways this could be future-boy (which I mean as a massive compliment) BUT the jazzy, uncommital overall feel doesn't make me engage- it's a personal thing, please don't worry about it (which obviously you wouldn't) and if I could have an entire song that sounds like approx. 1.40-2.10, I would vote for you forever and always; but just not this time because I personally don't like the 70s jazz feel you resolve to. God by 3.30 and her ropes keeping holding you I am in Music Hell. My bad. Soz!

Wreckdom - Great drum sound. Everything else, as a gay man, is WAY too gay for me. That is all. See you next week.

Votes for Caravan Ray, Fred Haiyce (?) and Odlion Green (as long as he remembers a CHORUS next time).

j$ wrote: Kevin Mellows - Jesus, let that be your real name.

Heh! I thought the same thing.

Well Kev? Is it?

j$ wrote:DJ Ranger Den - This is very pretty while being about a minute long for what it is. This could be end-of-set lighters-out woopin' song, had I not just given up smokin' again and thus am without lighter. You do this all so well. I want to hear you fronting early Cabaret Voltaire or the Residents. Which, incidentally, will explain why J.A.N. will be in touch shortly.

sounds good