The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Pasty and tasty.

Now let's not be hasty ...

well, i know only 3 people have probably heard it at this point but man, that Molsen Twins tune reminds me of PiL. johnny cashpoint goes all out johnny rotten on that chorus. kudos to my better two thirds....

Hey Songfight, long time no see (my computer's dead).

To respond to several future comlaints:

The bands Phunt Your Friends and Phunt, don't tell are composed of different people, who used the same idea and, with the same resources, took it in different directions. It's like a collaborative effort spread across two songs. I'm a member of Phunt Your Friends.

And yes, the only relevance to the title in either song is that the narrator is a pasty white man. What more do you need?

Mogosagatai wrote:What more do you need?

I need a haircut. And a cookie. Want, however, that's totally different.

I need a cookie as well. Never mind oxygen, occasional sleep, or a temperature somewhere between -10F and 110F--these are all just things I want.

I need hair and a cookiecutter.

jack wrote:well, i know only 3 people have probably heard it at this point but man, that Molsen Twins tune reminds me of PiL. johnny cashpoint goes all out johnny rotten on that chorus. kudos to my better two thirds....

Oh, yeah, without a doubt - 'First Issue' is in my top 10 albums of all time - why do you think that 'hello' is there, at the beginning? '*croons*... public imaaaggggeee you got what you wanted'

[in-joke that will become an out-joke when the songs are put up!)

My reviews are worth exactly thirteen cents and that's not a whole lot. Don't get too excited, but feel free to rebut my ill-informed commentary. Also, because I don't normally look over the boards, I don't know what usually gets said and blahblahblah. Just remember that no matter how objective I try to sound, it's just my opinion.

Battle Cry Creek - Funny, at least at first. I kind of like the cheesy electric staccato.

Blake Walker - Reminds me of The Eagles. Great production. Are you insane?

Hostess Mostess - This kind of quality always surprises me on SongFight! but there it is. You're really tapping into that reservoir of images that this type of music is supposed to bank on in your refrain. I'm adding these things to the list of stuff not to do right after spitting into the wind and messing with Jim.

Luco Brazzi feat. Brad Sucks - That keyboard deal that trills up in the back there and some of the other touches give the backdrop a lot more variety than most of the songs in this genre. The intro for Brad is funny.

MC Fancy Boy et al - I think the live feel helps but I wish it was more consistent, and ultimately the parts where it gets noisier and fuzzier hurt it in my opinion. The instruments are a pretty sweet way to back up your rhymes because it implies a connection that's not necessarily obvious. When the sound is clear, I think I get that connection. Surpisingly, Steve Urkel references apparently can get old Hollywood ass-rape however is still fresh for at least another week!

The Molsen Twins - Trippy. Argh. Writing constructive reviews is hard. You had fun. You know it. And that fun is now dripping from the various pores on my computer.

Phunt; don't tell. - I'm glad with how this came out. I hope you are too.

Phunt Your Friends - Our fears that we'd sound too similar were clearly unfounded. This is hilarious and not bad on the ear. I'm sure everybody will love and understand us. Or we'll give them dry eye.

Primitive Screwheads - hehehe Staypuft Marshmallow Man is probably the Pastiest Whitest Man you could've written a song about and I might be in love with you. I think the song is strong enough to be a cool B52ish/Who Ya' Gonna Call? groove even if the listener doesn't get it. What's getting repeated around 2:30? Hot/Cold? I don't know if the second part or, incidentally, the bridge are necessary.

Smalltown Mike - Pathetic and funny but it could use some variety (like in that first minute) to keep my attention. I think it probably achieves what you were going for though.

Song Fight Orchestra - Whoa. It's over. It was very busy. I had the feeling it was going to break down a little and organize itself when it was actually planning on ending. Just surprising.

Your Momma's Muzak - This does not belong to my momma! The vocals are hilarious in form and content, but I'll be honest and let you know that I never want to listen to that again. But really hilarious and the intro is good so it set me up perfectly for the crazy vocals.

Cover art = Tor Johnson, from Ed Wood fame?

Blake Walker: I get the joke. Next time, though, make it with a *much* shorter cover. That's not something that should be endured before one's first cup of coffee.

What Hostess Mostess did here was make an instant classic. Pure gold!

After the Blake Walker thing I was almost a bit scared Hostess' song was along those lines.. but... just don't ask directions from a pasty white man.

Dear Blake Walker:

You are TEH funny!

Love,
Blake Walker

IMO. Written as I lisetn.

BCC - Um. If the vocal delivery was a bit tighter rhythmically, the bass was more driving and the guitar sample wasn't so clean this could be Cabaret Voltaire or someone. the line between good and bad electronica seems a lot more narrow than other genres

Hostess Mostess - Hmmm AOR blues .... lots of emotion for what appears a nonsense lyric ... well done, and all that

Lucco Brazi - is a great pseudonym. Pitch-shifted vocals? I know who this is Nicely done .. needs a glock solo Maybe some more variety in the drum loop?

MC FB - 3 whole hours? Gosh. Actually, I quite like this. The hiss is charming, although losing it would improve this. Squealing and certain self-referentialisms are annoying... actually this is becoming a little tiring. For me personally, this kind of fronting only works if the target is particularly deserving, and it has to be said, there doesn't seem to be any particulat target for all that apparnet wrath. So, fuck me, indeed, and goodbye at 1.57.

PYF / PDT - Well produced, but not particularly experimental.

PS - Ha! This is great! The mix is a bit odd - it's good but the vocal seems misplaced - The chorus could do with another instrument - maybe a buzzing saw-synth. I have no idea what you're singing about, but I guess it's some reference that I don't get ... great tune, well played, seems a little flat in my headphones mix-wise but nothing here that I wouldn't happily listen to again ...

STM - nice riff. The vocal could stand to be a little bit louder.

SFO - That's great. I might vote for this. Now this is truly experimental.

YMM - No.

The Molsen Twins is me, Jack's classy musical skills & Leaf's fantastic lead drums. Very happy with this. Don't ever tell me Good Charlotte are punk again.

Well, even if I ever voted for myself, I think this time round I would vote for SFO. Then TMT, then Lucco Brazzi and Primitive Screwheads. The rest passed me by, unfortunately.

Hostess - If I were listening to this right on the platform, I'd still miss my train.

Battle Cry Creek
--- Wow this is awkward. Vocals and drums are on a different rhythm. And why is that guitar sample so wack??? ---

Blake Walker
/// Now we're really talking smooth jazz ///
+++ The Spanish guitar is awesome. Although this may simply be a track off of some Eagles live album. +++
--- Oh, yeah it was ---

Hostess Mostess
+++ Nice grungy blues intro. +++
--- The chord and little noodling at 0:58 isn't working for me. Disruptive. ---
/// I was expecting some kind of percussion by 1:40, even tambourine or bongo. I was hoping for somethign really surprising like a distorted bagpipe solo over a drum and bass beat. But where you took it was pretty nice, too. ///

Luco Brazzi
--- Oh the chorus sucks. ---
+++ I like the pitchshifted high backing vox in the verses. Just the right amount +++
/// Decent beat. OK raps. ///

MC Fancy Boy and Ry Guy
/// bracing for monster suckage. ///
--- Monster suckage!!! ---

The Molsen Twins
+++ Oooh that's a killer beat +++
--- Hello johnny ---
+++ Oh my god this chorus with the chanting backing is murdering all preconceptions of cool! +++
/// I still have to hear a J$ song a few times before the delivery really sits with me, but now it's working. ///

Phunt; Don't Tell
--- I have put more effort into this review already than you did in this song ---
/// If I am wrong, you are very inefficient at sucking. ///

Phunt Your Friends
--- Part 2 of suck ---

Primitive Screwheads
--- What's that noise? It's a totally out of tune guitar! ---
/// Too much echo on vocals. You could gt a little closer to the mic. ///
+++ I like this "end of the world" part. +++

Smalltown Mike
+++ Intro is pretty cool. +++
--- You need a whole bunch of oomph in the drums to support this track. Try a Tape Sim effect (or bounce a hot track to an analog tape). Then an EQ I think I usually push somewhere around 200 hz for the Kick. Or just cut up some samples. ---
+++ Altogether a good song. +++
/// The thick reverb on the vocals makes yoru timing sound sloppier than it actually is. ///

Song Fight Orchestra
/// What are all those sounds? ///
+++ I like the flow. +++
--- There is a popping when the vocals first come in. After the gay sounding "inside" ---
+++ Last part is kind of nice. +++
--- Like all SFO entries, it's so short. Not really going anywhere. ---

Your Momma's Muzak
--- Poorly performed hyper acoustic noodling. ---
/// Almost wrote 'instrumental,' but you ruined it a different way instead ///

Mike, SFO, Molsen, Mostess... let's have another listen.

MC Fancy Boy and Ry Guy
take the microphone out of your mouth next time. both of you.

hostess mostess
great guitar and vocals. begging for some harmonica. are you playing an open tuning on this? guitars sound really nice together and you sing in a register that suits it perfectly. this is a really well put together tune.

phunt don't tell
maybe there's some sort of back story i'm missing here but this does absolutely nothing for me.

the molsen twins
OMGHFS* THIS IS PUBLIC IMAGE LIMITED IN DISGUISE! i'm still trying to figure out what "russification" is.

smalltown mike
lived at home to avoid artistic poverty is a great line. i like it but you sound sort of bored. nice changeup to the bridge too.

luco brazzi
this is me. thanks to brad for letting me mock him and rip off his music.

battle cry creek
man, this is just absolutely nuts! you sir are the new william hung of songfight.

your mommas muzak
the sloppy guitar is only outdone by those awful vocals. make your mama proud you did. yes sir.

primitive screwheads
hehe. this was pretty fun. like a lo-fi talking heads.

phunt your friends
maybe there's some sort of back story i'm missing here but this does absolutely nothing for me.

songfight orchestra
this is fucking killer. short and sweet.

*Oh My God Holy Fucking Shit

battle cry creek
- "ready... FIGHT!" wow, memories of getting beat down in mortal combat...
- vox are either too close to the mic or too buried and just about always out of sync
- i don't get the lyrics, and the music doesn't make me want to try to

hostess mostess
- oh, yes, nice groove
- overall, great, but this could use a little more kick after the first time around; some drums, a lead, something... somebody said harmonica, that would work, too. i could have fun with a screaming guitar solo over this...

luco brazzi
- hehe
- otherwise unremarkable

mc fancy boy and ry guy
- hehe
- otherwise unremarkable
- back off the mic

the molsen twins
- nice drums
- the kind of nicey-nicey music doesn't match J$'s punk vocal delivery; this should reek of three-chord rock and guitars slung around your knees

phunt; don't tell
- interesting musical ideas; interesting samples, but nothing really clicks together

phunt your friends
- see above and do more to differentiate yourselves; these two songs, production-wise and musically are really indistinguishable

primitive screwheads
- the lyrics really make me laugh. i love "ghostbusters."
- too long for a novelty song

smalltown mike
- nice guitar groove
- kind of a muddy mix
- this could be tightened; might drop the opening bit; the 2nd half meanders

song fight orchestra
- nice rhythm in the lyrics...
- ... well, for the first half, then it kind of tumbles off to one side.

your momma's muzak
- had about four bars of a promising riff, then it got sloppy.
- and then it got dumb
- and then it got unlistenable
- and then i hit the stop button

Luco Brazzi wrote:i'm still trying to figure out what "russification" is.

Russification

A policy in the mid-1800s on by the Russian government to obliterate the indentity of their satellite countries (Poland etc) by invading, banning the local language / culture and replacing it with Russian. you could only learn Russian in schools etc

j$, doctor of history.

I kept:

Hostess Mostess
Luco Brazzi
The Molsen Twins
Songfight Orchestra

I voted:

Songfight Orchestra

12:10am in a hotel room. Why am I not asleep yet? Because I'm dying to hear the songs for this fight. Let that pasty white flesh hang out! Whoooo!

Hostess Mostess

Great voice, great lyrics, great guitar playing -- gee whiz, nail them all, why doncha -- and Jim Croce's estate called; they want his notebook back. The only thing missing here is a more compelling, less cliche vocal melody. You sound terrific, don't get me wrong; it just always goes exactly where you think it will. Reliable. Comfortable. And that makes it a 7 instead of a 10, because it gets old quicker than it should. Yeah, that's what it's missing: novelty to keep it fresh throughout. But what an excellent 7. If you add drums and bass to this, pleasepleaseplease send it to me so I can put it in my mp3 collection. Well done. And...

...no clearmountain pause. Calls 'em like I sees 'em.

MC Fancy Boy and Ry Guy

I'm glad you guys had fun recording this. I had fun listening to it. Silly and goofy and exactly what you intended. However, I've been spoiled by Andrew Pants* (http://www.songstowearpantsto.com) and he does this sort of thing better than you, so you get no vote. Also a compressor and pop filter on your mic would have made this so much more listenable and entertaining. Still, I'm glad you did it. Heh. I need to go drinking with you guys. This could have ended at 2:00, by the way. Before you started talking about ass-raping. Yikes. Okay, I don't want to go drinking with you guys any more. And...

...no clearmountain pause/it's a losing cause/It was funny but I'm done and you get tepid applause.

Phunt Your Friends

Good initial speech sample. And the next one. Oh, it's ALL samples. I've done stuff like this, I enjoy making these. I enjoy listening to them, too. Technically this might as well be an instrumental, though, because you didn't write any lyrics. Still, it's fun. I liked it until the "Supernatural power" part, at which point you lost me. Your backing music (and the samples) got redundant and uninspired at that point. Too bad, because it was fun until then. This is like a Negativland tribute band. Incidentally, I do like the "uh...uh...uh...(dingdingdingding)" part. In summary, this is uneven and not really a "song" per se, but I enjoyed much of it. And...

...no clearmountain pause. I swear, if you'd found a sample of this guy saying "clearmountain" I would have shat myself.

Phunt, Don't Tell

The first sound evokes Fatboy Slim's "Kalifornia" for me, not sure why. Another sample-fest! Off the bat, I think the first Phunt's piece is more successful musically, as well as with the quotes chosen. This is like the band that opens for the Negativland tribute band. Wait, is this the SAME GUY? I guess "Phunt" is a reference to this guy, huh? Must be an inside joke that I'm outside of. In summary, read the other Phunt's feedback and reduce my pleasure by 50%. And...

...no clearmountain pause. Missed an opportunity here; could have made me soil myself twice.

Battle Cry Creek

Casio drum fantastic! Is that one of those kiddie electric guitars with buttons on the frets? I'm glad you entered this, because it's silly, and I like silly. I can't possibly vote for this as the winner, but so far it wins "biggest grin in the fight" for the "tuna in a can" nonsense. You're like some kind of post-rehab Ween. And...

...no clearmountain pause.

Luco Brazzi

Good intro, solid. Heh. I like the opening a lot. A Brad Sucks lick? Ah, yes, so indicates the id3 tag. The lyrics aren't winning me over, and I wonder if Brad really contributed, or you just sampled him to kingdom come. However, your delivery is top-notch, and you've made something compelling here. Too much of it comes from samples, however, for me to give you mad voting props. This is Brad Sucks meets They Might Be Giant's "D and W". You've got production skills, no doubt there; I'd like to hear what you could do without relying on someone else's music so much. No vote, but I enjoyed it. And...

...no clearmountain pause (heretofore referred to as NCP.)

Smalltown Mike

Here we go. Good intro. Then right into real music. Solid if uncompelling stuff vocally, basic but stable backing, good production except for being a bit trebly overall. The lyrics are starting to get old, though; I feel like this could have turned into a stadium rocker extolling the virtues of basement-dweller-turned-superhero or something. Overall a decent entry, although it ran a bit too long for me. Your lyrics at the end (before the ending chants) got better than the earlier stuff, by the way, and started to hint at the basement-dweller-turned-superhero thing I mentioned earlier. Not bad at all. And...

...NCP.


Primitive Screwheads

Who you gonna listen to? Primitive Screwheads! Better once the strumming kicks in. Less echo and more presence on the vocal would have been nice; fun lyrics, kind of Devo meets King Missle. I like. I just wish you had a more compelling chorus, because it's a fun number otherwise. Around 1:45 you begin losing me lyrically. I like the strange musical chanting around 2:25, though, lots of fun. And this runs way too long, I wish it had ended after the chanting. And...

...a clearmountain pause! Yay! It would have worked better if you'd jumped right back in with vocals and strong music, instead of walking back in slowly with a build. But you got into it perfectly, and bravo on fitting it in at all.

SFO

"Here I am/the pasty white man/inside/'cause I'll die if I tan." Lyrically, you blew me away with that. Simple, straightforward, perfect -- and perfectly delivered. Excellent entry. This is EightLeggedOctopus, yes? I always seem to find your voice and vocal melodies to be distinctive and compelling -- someday when I get stuck on a vocal melody, I'm sending you my music to see if you can save it. Being SFO, this is much too short, of course, but I liked it whole bunches. I can't bring myself to vote for a fragment, but I can bring myself to shout "well done!" and stamp my feet a bit. And...

...no clearmountain pause, but no surprise, because SFO. I listened twice, by the way. Actually, three times. Don't crush us all!

The Molsen Twins

At first I thought "this needs to be faster", then your drums kicked in, and it's all good. Great wandering guitar on the (post-drum) intro, by the way, really pleasing. Hello! Yes, hello! I feel like I'm listening to a band performing on The Young Ones while sketches are being performed, which is not a bad thing -- those were usually quite good bands. Very much wallowing in the 80s thing, though. This is the first time I didn't find your vocal stylings compelling, J$, and it took me a while to figure out why, because you delivered well. I've finally decided that the melody you're singing is very repetitive and doesn't counterpoint at all against the band. It feels like a very literal interpretation. That may be a limitation of the backing song structure itself, so I'm not sure how to fix it, except perhaps to suggest a chorus that features a different key and longer, slower lyrical phrasing. A fun little number, though, if a bit tiresome. Well-produced musically, although I'd like to hear a bit more bass. That new vocal production trick is still working for you, btw. Hey, it just kind of stopped. And...

...NCP.

Your Momma's Muzak

Instrumental, eh? It's 1:03am and I have to work in the morning, I might not -- oh, wait, lyrics! Yay! Er, wait. Not so much lyrics as warbling and shreiking. Still, that counts. The guitar was terrific, by the way, and I admire your committment to this style of vocal delivery. Gutsy. Heh, at 2:00 I laughed out loud. If Beaker (from The Muppets) were Spanish, this is how he would have sung at his parents' 20th wedding anniversary. I enjoyed this in an entirely non-voting way. Oh, and it just kind of stopped, just like the last one. Hmm. And...

...NCP.

- - -

Dammit. I had to go listen to a bunch of them again, and I've got four front-runners (in no particular order): Hostess Mostess, SFO, Primitive Screwheads and Molsen Twins (with Smalltown Mike getting shoved out of the way, but just barely). Argh. Hostess, your entry would take it if it weren't so predictable. SFO, your entry would take it if you had been able to maintain that level of quality for an entire song length. Screwheads, you who have taken it if your piece hadn't gotten bogged down lyrically in the second half. Molsen Twins, your entry would take it if you had found a more compelling vocal melody. Grr.

So, after careful deliberation heavily influenced by my need to get some sleep (1:13am here now), I'm giving it to Hostess Mostess for the Jim Croce feel, although I came thisclose to giving it to Primitive Screwheads for actually doing the clearmountain pause.

Off to bed.

*Note: if Andrew Pants ever finds songfight and decides to participate, we're all in trouble. So shh. Heh.

MintyHandy wrote: Luco Brazzi
Good intro, solid. Heh. I like the opening a lot. A Brad Sucks lick? Ah, yes, so indicates the id3 tag. The lyrics aren't winning me over, and I wonder if Brad really contributed, or you just sampled him to kingdom come. However, your delivery is top-notch, and you've made something compelling here. Too much of it comes from samples, however, for me to give you mad voting props. This is Brad Sucks meets They Might Be Giant's "D and W". You've got production skills, no doubt there; I'd like to hear what you could do without relying on someone else's music so much. No vote, but I enjoyed it. And...

...no clearmountain pause (heretofore referred to as NCP.)

well, brad contributed in that i did sample him to kingdom come. i did show him the song beforehand and he gave me his blessing on it but he wasn't really involved beyond that, and being cool about the whole thing. my main goal was to create a "mashup" for the backing mix, combining samples from brad's "borderline" and "dirtbag" (it's about 50/50 actually). i've remixed a number of his songs in the past so i had his samples laying around. the drums and keyboard is mine, as are all the vox. so a fair amount of my own material went into this as well. while i acknowledge brad's great loops, and their impact on the mix, they are still raw materials that are part of a much larger production. good raw materials but raw materials nevertheless. sometimes commercial rap tunes utilize a number of other artist's loops, sometimes unlicensed (not mine), sometimes even by popular rappers on songfight. doing a rap song with a loop based mix is fairly common practice. anyways, i do appreciate the kind words you wrote, especially about my rapping ability as i'm not a rapper, nor do i aspire to be one. just thought it to be a good challenge personally. oh, and i've done other songs around here that weren't built around loops and were a bit more "original" (although that could be a matter of debate too). just under a different guise.

and i have to say mr. handy, that you sir are one badass awesome guy for reviewing so many songs in such fine form and fashion. thank you for the time and consideration. and the listen.