Back in the day, and I mean waaay back in the day, the community came up with a list of excuses that people typically make when they're unable, for some reason, to submit a song to the fight.
I did a bit of searching and came up with only references to the original list. This topic is to resurrect the list. I think it might be fun, eventually, to inscribe the list of excuses on a .org page for posterity. Here's what we've got so far:
I DID NOT ENTER THE FIGHT THIS WEEK BECAUSE...
Your mom.
What’s Song Fight?
I am a person of insecure nature, weak in constitution and mental fortitude. [2019 UPDATE]
I can’t read, so I got the title wrong.
I am poor, so they cut off my lifeforce/Internet, and I never heard of a library
I couldn't think of a good bridge
The dog ate my lyrics/Ha ha I am sad
I didn't want to "waste it"
I’m too tired
Game of Thrones
I’m afraid I won’t win
I had to mind my brother’s greyhound for some reason and he sucks at harmonies
My parents/siblings/roommates never left me alone long enough to record.
Nobody understands my music anyway.
I won’t win so why bother
My record contract forbids it
People on the message board are mean!
I couldn't write a decent lyric if my life depended on it.
My porn machine keeps crashing/won’t crash
My collaborator flaked on me just after I broke both my arms
My guitar neck turned into a snake / I took some drugs
‘Roneing’ never caught on
Butt-hurt from reviews last week
I’m just not feeling it
Spent too much time feeling it
Caravan Ray stole my idea and did it better
I’ve got blistahs on me fingahs
These people have no taste.
It was just too much of a good thing
I had wicked bad cramps
My porn machine ate my project files
The Song Fight auto-reply message offended me
My chorus was amazeballs, I swear
Boss interrupted my recording session at the meat-packing plant
Johnny was out sick, signed Dr. BULLSHIT
Octothorpe won last week so this whole thing is corrupt
No short term… something
Procrastination / Fear of inadequacy
It’s more like Production Fight anyway so F all of you
No shoes to poop on
Hurricane / knocked out by boxer / drank too much
Self-abuse/injury
The title is terrible.
Just plain lazy I am
Every tune I write sounds like “She Works Hard for the Money”
-My vagina hurts
-I'm too fat
-Squirrel!
-My wife has burned the scrambled eggs
-The dog just bit my leg
-My teenage daughter ran away
-My fine young son has turned out gay
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
my actual excuse for "The Lurker" - I wasn't near my recording equipment for about 10 days (almost exactly coinciding with the time we had to do "The Lurker.") but I'm back now and ready to get at the next title ! rock n roll.?
chocolatechips wrote:my actual excuse for "The Lurker" - I wasn't near my recording equipment for about 10 days (almost exactly coinciding with the time we had to do "The Lurker.") but I'm back now and ready to get at the next title ! rock n roll.?
Why haven't you perfected a non typey way of using a keyboard? If you're putting this task on my shoulders, I'm suggesting perfecting the talky voicey thingy. If you insist on the clicky sound of the keyboard, then design it in to your program. IE: Hi, my name is fluffy. And as you say it you hear clicly clacky click click click clack. Also, it helps if you drink lots of drunky water like me. ....Glad I could help.
Next caller, you are on the air with BLT in the evening. What can I do you for?
- Nobody reviews any more, and that's what it's all about right?
- This shit is so beneath me
- I got tired of people thinking I'm faking my accent
- I heard 1D and thought "what's the point when I can't be that good?"
- My penis is too sore
- I forgot about time zones
- I didn't know when to submit because there aren't 23 months in a year like the due date implies
- I ran myself over in my own car
- Got caught in a sharknado (but then somebody safely chainsawed me out of a shark so I could submit the following week.)
Yeah, I laughed at the new version when I heard it on HuffPost. The added legalized and tax revenue parts are great.
The state made revenue, because I got high
They built a school or two, because I got high
Now the state can fund drug treatment and I know why
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high
My excuses are "I lost my beat loops" and "I went on vacation and couldn't take my mixer". That last one isn't as funny as the first one, but it is true.
Others:
Ceiling cat was watching me
Monorail cat was late
I was chasing the little red dot
Clogged litterbox
(No, there's no pattern here. It's your imagination.)