Instrument Accident Commiseration Thread

[frankie big face]

Okay, I just have to get this off my chest. I put a sizeable (1") gash in the spruce top of my limited edition Taylor acoustic by dropping my Rode NTV tube mic onto it (and then the floor) about two weeks ago. Neither of these instruments ever did nothing to no-one and here I am beating the shit out of them for no reason at all. Do I have guitar stands? Yes. Do I have cases? Also yes. Do I have hangers on the wall? Yes yes yes. Where was my guitar? Leaning precariously against a small rickety table.

Anyway, after I stopped wanting to throw up, I told myself this is what happens to guitars that get played and there's no point in owning instruments you're not going to play. But it still bugs me and now I want you to tell me about the time you did something even worse to your instrument so I can stop feeling like crap.

[Spud]

This is a different kind of Instrument Accident. The morning before the "Octothorpe and Friends" show at the Jewelbox in Seattle some years ago, I was getting the drums down from the top shelf at my office to get them ready to take to the show. I forgot that I had put the hi-hats on top of one of the toms, and so when I pulled the tom down, a cymbal slid right off, and STUCK RIGHT INTO MY FRESHLY SHAVED HEAD. This put a sizable (1") gash in my head, which I wore proudly to the show that night, looking meaner and nastier than ever. Good news is, scalp grows back, spruce doesn't. Sorry about your guitar. It's gotta hurt almost as much as my head did.

SPUD

[Märk]

We had a bonfire in our back yard last summer (back story: the guy upstairs used to have a roomie who played guitar, and we got along quite well) I brought out my shiny new Ibanez accoustic (not a Taylor, no, but still a nice a guitar, and the only accoustic I have)

When I woke up the next morning, and eventually found my guitar laying on a pile of wood beside the firepit, with about 500 scuffs and scratches on it, I was a bit miffed. But here's the good news: it sounded better after that. A well-made instrument gets better with age.

[roymond]

Sorry about that, Frank. But yeah, scars are a part of life and "add character" to us all.

In 1984, I had my brand new Lowden with me when I went to Fripp's Crafty Guitar class in WV. After a week of studies, we played some gigs at U of VA and one in DC. Backstage, Fripp kicked my guitar case by accident as I was putting it away and the top came down. The lip of one of the buckles punched into the top of my guitar, then bounced and gouged a line about 6 inches down the front. I almost cried. But I also figured "it happened on a gig with Fripp". Anyway, I was friendly with Thomas Humphrey back then and he did a great job carefully sanding it out so not to affect the tone, and there are only a few small marks left. Still love that guitar more than most anything else in life. Sadly, Thomas died last month. Check out his Millennium guitar. Truly awesome instruments.

[Märk]

Oh, I almost forgot: One time back in probably 1993, my band was playing a gig at a 'booze can' (an illegal after-hours club, mainly set up by and geared towards bikers). Half way through out first song, I noticed our bass player was just standing there with a weird look on his face, not playing bass. I glared at him like "What are you doing? What's wrong?" but he gave no response. I went over and bumped him on the arm, and as I did, I felt the most horrible sensation of electrocution. The poor guy had grabbed the mike stand to sing backup, and, his fingers on the bass strings, had made a short circuit in the incredibly bad house sound system. I didn't really know what to do, so i kicked the mike stand out of his hand, and broke the circuit, he pretty much collapsed, and our show was over. A few minutes later I was expressing my major dismay to the owner of the club when I noticed a circle of bikers closing in around us, so I just said "Okay, whatever. Fuck you." The bass player was okay, he told me it was a horrible, paralysing feeling, he couldn't seem to let go of either the strings or the stand. Worst. Gig. Ever.

[Paco Del Stinko]

In 1989 I bought a brand new Gibson Les Paul. After owning it for a week, I had it around my neck on a strap, and as I leaned forward to punch in on the 4-track, the guitar strap came loose on the neck side. Big karate chop into the floor, busting off two tuning pegs, and adding a couple of nice chips in the headstock. With replaced pegs and straplocks, I still have the guitar. There are others, but that was rather painful at the time.

Sorry Frank, it hurts, but one day you can tell the grandkids your war story.

[Billy's Little Trip]

Oh, I almost forgot: One time back in probably 1993, my band was playing a gig at a 'booze can' (an illegal after-hours club, mainly set up by and geared towards bikers). Half way through out first song, I noticed our bass player was just standing there with a weird look on his face, not playing bass. I glared at him like "What are you doing? What's wrong?" but he gave no response. I went over and bumped him on the arm, and as I did, I felt the most horrible sensation of electrocution. The poor guy had grabbed the mike stand to sing backup, and, his fingers on the bass strings, had made a short circuit in the incredibly bad house sound system. I didn't really know what to do, so i kicked the mike stand out of his hand, and broke the circuit, he pretty much collapsed, and our show was over. A few minutes later I was expressing my major dismay to the owner of the club when I noticed a circle of bikers closing in around us, so I just said "Okay, whatever. Fuck you." The bass player was okay, he told me it was a horrible, paralysing feeling, he couldn't seem to let go of either the strings or the stand. Worst. Gig. Ever.

Exactly 32 years ago today, Keith Relf from the Yard Birds, died from being electrocuted by his guitar.

[Lunkhead]

I don't have a personal story like that. I've dinged/scratched/dropped/chipped/etc. my instruments, but none of them are worth a lot of money, just sentimental value. However, I was in a local music store one time when I witnessed something pretty awful. I was just buying some strings, and one of the clerks was ringing me up, when I heard a big "CRASH!!!!". I turned around, and saw that a patron had been trying to get one of the really expensive ($2.5k+) guitars down himself, and had a little "oopsie". The guitar slipped out of his grasp and came whacking down onto the hard floor, almost completely breaking the neck off. There was a stunned, shocked silence in the store. I paid my bill and got the hell out of there. I don't know if it's related or not but ... the store went out of business a few months after that.

[Sober]

Whenever I break something, I swap it out at Guitar Center.

[Billy's Little Trip]

My wife smashed my Gibson acoustic against the wall. She bought it for me as a gift, so I guess she felt I didn't deserve it anymore. I can't remember what I did to piss her off, but I'm sure I deserved it.

[Märk]

It's because you have a small penis. (how's the cannon?)

[Billy's Little Trip]

(how's the cannon?)

Well, it has huge balls that don't explode, but they can put a nice size hole in the poop deck.
....wait, we are talking about penises, right?.....arrrrrrr.

[Hoblit]

1. When I was about 16 (and not a very good guitar player anyways), a friend and I were camping in the Georgia woods. I brought my 12 string acoustic out there and everything was great. Beer, best friend, three chords, nature, it was a blast. We eventually passed out and I guess I managed to crawl back into the tent to sleep it off, leaving the guitar outside. It rained. It rained and I slept right through it and had no idea until I woke up. By then the rain had stopped and I had slept in ... you know, after drinking so much. So the sun had time to come out and boar down on it. I crawled out of the tent to find a guitar which was pretty soaked with water engaging it from the inside through the hole and the guitar was also hot to the touch. This story never got any better.

2. Recently as a year ago I had an acoustic guitar laying against the window. The cats knocked it over while playing and the neck totally separated from the body. LUCKILY that guitar wasn't so great. (However, it was the only acoustic I had at the time) Yes Frankie, I too had guitar stands it SHOULD have been sitting on. Was it? Of course not.

[ujnhunter]

yea, short story... carrying my bass guitar from my car w/ strap over my shoulder (didn't have a case...) strap came loose from the top and bass went crashing into the asphalt... now i have strap locks and a nice big gouge in the bottom of the fiberglass (?) bass...

[frankie big face]

Thanks guys. These are all helping.

Now if only Willie Nelson would post to explain his guitar...

[Rabid Garfunkel]

This is a small story compared with all y'alls (but damnit, I loved that brush). Band practice, savage drummer on my kit (enthusiastic, and dangerous... it's a small room, and flying sticks--or shards of sticks--is a constant danger). We're trying to work out some vocal lines, and his concept of dynamics is loud and louder. So I hand him my brushes & turn down my amp, so's we can all hear each other and work out vocals.

It works, for a song or two, and we're all happy and not shouting to be heard.

Then, in the next song, tiny needles of metal wire suddenly shoot through the air. Somehow, he blew the fucking thing up while using it. I'm still (months later) finding the shrapnel.

[Jerry]

My brother and I were wrestling around and of course, rolled right into my '50's Hofner archtop that I foolishly leaned against the wall. Snapped it in half. After the World's Worst Repair (done by a local shop), it's still around. Cool guitar. Shame about the chunk of quarterround under the neck.

[No Horse Town]

My wife smashed my Gibson acoustic against the wall. She bought it for me as a gift, so I guess she felt I didn't deserve it anymore. I can't remember what I did to piss her off, but I'm sure I deserved it.

Ouch, really? That's fucking harsh. Did you kill her puppy or something?

weirdly, I've never had any significant damage to my guitars. And I take *terribly bad* care of them. Never in a case, always leaning against something precarious, maybe even wedged behind something. Shit.. lucky me! (for now, uhh...)

[fluffy]

I must be way too careful with my gear. Aside form the occasional bumping things stupidly and going "oh shit oh shit oh shit" for a few seconds while I inspect it for damage which isn't there, I can't think of any time I've damaged an instrument like that.

There is a small crack in the casing on my SIDstation, which I think is a result of when it fell to the ground at SFLive Austin, but it's barely visible and it's in a spot where I have a feeling it'd have eventually cracked due to stress anyway.

[Billy's Little Trip]

I have a feeling it'd have eventually cracked due to stress anyway.

You really shouldn't put unreasonable demands on your equipment, Fluf.

[Caravan Ray]

Cheap instruments have better survival skills.

I had an old no-name acoustic that I used for over 20 years busking, on camping tips, on stage (on one memorable occasion - being played upside down while helpful audience members suspended me by my ankles) and it travelled halfway around the world to remote Pacific atolls with me on dodgy planes, canoes and motorbikes - never got a scratch on it.

However, the Martin I bought a few years ago is already scarred by plectrum damage from overenthusiastic strumming in suburban Brisbane. But still, it is only cosmetic and the guitar is fine - but that is because it is a bottom-of-the-range Martin. If I bought something really expensive, I'm sure I'd break it.

[fluffy]

Well, that explains why my Ibanez can take such a beating. It cost only $250.