You Spin Me Right 'Round Baby Right 'Round (Spin The Bottle)

[Larry Knox]

Ok, here's my first stab at critiquing.

I have decided that rather than give (supposedly) helpful criticism for each song, that I would just give a list of my favorites and pick the winner from them.

My take on SF is that the song has to communicate something to me. As I played each song I judged if it was compelling to me or whether I wanted to hear more for what ever reason. Purely subjected I admit.

I don't feel that giving specifics is fair coming from someone who is not experienced or versed (yet) in any of the areas normally mentioned in song writing.

So here's my list of favorites in no particular order:

Toasted Sandwich
Those Meddling Kids
The Sky Looks Pissed
Paulotteson
Paco del Stinko
Ka Maua Hana Punahele (props for cleverness and Hawaiian theme)
Drew Styles & the Blue Velvet Band
Charles Cack & His Little Cack Surprise (props on retro effort)
The Bourbon Drops
Billy's Little Trip featuring Quimby
Ash Kanna
MC and LK (ok.... guilty. This is my entry... so shoot me)

And my pick of the litter....

Ash Kanna

Based on the fact that it was the only song (other than my own of course) that I listened all the way through the first time. Well done. And it's normally not a style I care for.

Good job all.

Larry

[LML]

Okay... psyching myself up for this now... gotta do it gotta get it over with. All songs reviews are based on first impressions so don't get whiny if I don't like it at first. I'm gonna try to be constructive this time so no ratings and votes are confidential.



Wages-Good guitar in this one, but the static kinda ruins it. Lyrics need a little bit of work, it's lo-fi cool, but you need to invest in maybe some better recording devices. But not your fault, it's what you got. Vocals seem a little confused (does that make sense?) but they're mostly good.

The Bourbon Drops- Live things make me smile. Indie very much thank you. Harmonies are great. I don't have any real constructive criticism to give. So good job. Makes me clap along.

deetak- Atmospheric singing off to a good start. Your vocals take a little bit of getting used to but I listen to indie all the time so don't worry about that. It doesn't seem like everything meshed and maybe you wanted that. Pale legs like leather? I don't know. I'm kinda frightened but entranced at the same time. Creepy works for you.

Charles Cack & His Little Cack Surprise- This is cute I guess. But it's gonna get old after I listen to it more than once. Joke entry, but yeah, keep your cack in your pants. Nobody wants to see it.

The Weakest Suit- Acoustictastic. Try not to over extend your voice. Head boppin. I got lost with all the names. A little lyrically weak but I'm one to talk.

LSK- I'm deaf now. I don't want anyone getting this confused with LML.

Paco del Stinko- Good background and the bass is good but a little too loud for me. I don't know... maybe you should have brought up the voice volume? I'm not one of those hi tech sound technicians.

Jim McCarter- The vocals are a little creepy when you consider it's sung by a grown man. But besides that the vocals are a little off. Are you trying to explore different styles? I can imagine this to country. but not slow emo guitar.

Andrew Reist- Rock! An electric guitar? WHHHAAAAT? Lyrics are kinda...made up last minute-y. Were they? The lottery thing was a little weak. I tried to make sense of this one but it just didn't click in my head. Only weakness is lyrics in my opinion. Chill out on the high notes for awhile.

Ash Kanna- This is interesting, but I couldn't really get past the slickness of this song. It just doesn't really sound like a songfight! It's a little lyrically weak. Hot dog? But it's catchy. You have a great voice.

Berkeley Social Scene- This sounds like it was recorded in a bar. That's kinda a cool thing. I feel like I'm there. Man this title really got all of us by the balls didn't it. Lyrical balls. Imagine that for a moment. Okay, onto the next one.

Adam Adamant- Tune your guitar please? But it's earnest I suppose. I like the sincerity of the song. The tinky piano is kinda cool. Or is that a flute?

mc joebudy- Yeah this needs work. Work on the background music and take more time writing your lyrics. I did laugh though. You wanted that reaction I hope.

Jedi Spaceship- Yeahhhh I'm head banging to this one. I love saying no for no reason in my songs. It's just the best. Who cares about the lyrics? This would be MUCH better if I was jazzed by red bulls.

Those Meddling Kids- Serious acoustic talent for a change. I'm jealous. I wish the vocals were just a little tighter. Reminds me of another songfighter. I can't remember his name though. Seavers? Yeah it's an atheist anthem and i'm a born again christian, but that's not your fault.

Pathetic Wannabees- Work on getting some better recording equipment. Good harmonica though. Bass is tight. I don't really like how you're holding back with your singing. Let it out man. LET IT OUT!

MC and LK- Jammin' mon. My stoner friend would love this. Is that offensive? I have no idea if this is authentic Jamaican music, but if it is I like it. If not, this song is interesting.

Toasted Sandwich- Awwww sweet guitar and vocals. This gets my indie heart excited. I like the hey la la la's. The scatting was a little bit lazy (I'm talking about the type of singing not the other stuff) but I like your percussion. So there.

South Sycamore Wheelbarrow Factory Ensemble- Make this less of a mash of different tracks and try to mesh them together with more harmony. Don't try to sound punk with your lyrics, it makes it seem slightly retarded.

paulotteson- I love me some harp. Great vocals. Lyrics are actually interesting to listen to. In this group of songs, I say that's an achievement.

LML- I suck. Don't like me. I sound no better than I did in 07. Go listen to the archives to get what I mean.

noah mclaughlin- Drums are interesting but is this song french? I'm sorry I don't understand one word. But the music is good. Fromage.

The Sky Looks Pissed- I listened to this song twice. I want to do a cover of this. You sound young. It's cute.

Billy's Little Trip featuring Quimby- *head bops* Yeah I like this. No criticism you haven't heard in your experience here. Just keep goin and doin what you're doin.

Ka Maua Hana Punahele- YAY! Spongebob! No wait, Hawaiians. Are you actually Hawaiian? If not, I go back to my Spongebob comment. The lyrics are cheese. I think you know that.

Drew Styles & the Blue Velvet Band- Last on my list and by now I'm a little drained. This perked me up a little actually. Work on being in tune when you harmonize with yourself. What a hypocrite I am. But yeah, thanks for this.


Okay guys remember my opinion means nothing and I'm a loser. I tried to be constructive and not catty.

[Teplin]

Ash Kanna - Great voice, catchy tune. Not understanding Teplin's 'poppy' criticism... what pop songs are a capella

I didn't mean the genre was pop, of course. My first impression, gut reaction was that the voice has a certain quality to it that reminded me of the voices of nsync, or maybe boyz II men. Because that's not the sort of voice I tend to find interesting, I was looking for interesting lyrics, but "girl you make my world go round" lyrics tend to turn me off too.

On the other end of the spectrum, there was Paul Otteson's entry. It's damn hard to make a GnG track that stands out around here, and it's not like this song is really anything new, but his voice has a certain quality that I find very appealing. That, along with lyrics that interested me, made it one of my votes. It's all just personal taste.

[LML]

Yeah it was a little jazzy. I have to agree with that. No offense of course.

[mc joebudy]

Okay... psyching myself up for this now... gotta do it gotta get it over with. All songs reviews are based on first impressions so don't get whiny if I don't like it at first. I'm gonna try to be constructive this time so no ratings and votes are confidential.


mc joebudy- Yeah this needs work. Work on the background music and take more time writing your lyrics. I did laugh though. You wanted that reaction I hope.

Like I said before, I just found this site last friday, so my time was limited. But I try to stay away from excuses, and promise to do better next time. I will def. spend more time mixing this week/the next time I do a song.

I am glad you laughed, I was trying for that

[Ross]

Ash Kanna - Great voice, catchy tune. Not understanding Teplin's 'poppy' criticism... what pop songs are a capella?

"Don't worry, Be Happy"

This style is quite popular with American Collegiate A capella groups the last 5 or 6 years or so. There was a group called "The Bobs" that did this kind of thing with limited popularity in the late 80s

[Lucky Spoon]

This style is quite popular with American Collegiate A capella groups the last 5 or 6 years or so.

So is the theme from Super Mario Brothers.

[adamadamant]

Adam Adamant - Seems very Ween, could use a synth drum sound.

Just went to their website to have a listen. This was not what I intended, I am sorry. That was awful.

Ween makes a wide range of music, so don't be offended. Some of it is out there, some of it is country, some of it is contemporary. What reminded me in particular was the strumming pattern/rhythm, guitar sound, and the contrast between other instruments and the acoustic guitar.

Sorry, that was a bit quick of me. I only listened to part of one of their songs.

[sswfe]

Hello from the wheelbarrow factory. Denise, our operator, is letting me use her iPhone to type this out on my lunch break!

Thank you for the kind word and not so kind words about our song. We now realize we need to have much better recordings and playing. Also, Takeshi Muramata was recently fired for stealing paper clips from the supply closet. I'm not sure what someone would do with 20 boxes of paper clips, but this means that we'll have a new singer for the next song. We realize now that Takeshi was an awful singer. Unfortunatly, we have not found a drummer yet to replace Levon Hernandez Gebhardt and we will still have to chain together the PLC units to make a drum track

Also due to the late season snowfall, we were able to increase sales of our top of the line wheelbarrows and our plant manager Ron Cleveland is letting us record our next song in his basement while his wife is at the salon! This should give us much sound qualities than recording in the break room at the factory.

Thank you for listening and we apologize to those that were offended by our song.

Thanks,

Dan Djuraczowskivich

P.S. Buy our wheelbarrows.

[Ross]

This style is quite popular with American Collegiate A capella groups the last 5 or 6 years or so.

So is the theme from Super Mario Brothers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Shdnv1GY ... re=related

[Billy's Little Trip]

Hello from the wheelbarrow factory. Denise, our operator, is letting me use her iPhone to type this out on my lunch break!

Thank you for the kind word and not so kind words about our song. We now realize we need to have much better recordings and playing. Also, Takeshi Muramata was recently fired for stealing paper clips from the supply closet. I'm not sure what someone would do with 20 boxes of paper clips, but this means that we'll have a new singer for the next song. We realize now that Takeshi was an awful singer. Unfortunatly, we have not found a drummer yet to replace Levon Hernandez Gebhardt and we will still have to chain together the PLC units to make a drum track

Also due to the late season snowfall, we were able to increase sales of our top of the line wheelbarrows and our plant manager Ron Cleveland is letting us record our next song in his basement while his wife is at the salon! This should give us much sound qualities than recording in the break room at the factory.

Thank you for listening and we apologize to those that were offended by our song.

Thanks,

Dan Djuraczowskivich

P.S. Buy our wheelbarrows.

All I have to say is.......

..oh, and sorry to hear about Takeshi.

[Ethan]

The Sky Looks Pissed- I listened to this song twice. I want to do a cover of this. You sound young. It's cute.

This used to be my song but I edited so now it's gone. Because it was annoying? I don't know.

[LML]

haha I copy/pasted that into my computer. I'll pm you when I've finished it. Or just post it here.

[Ross]

The Sky Looks Pissed- I listened to this song twice. I want to do a cover of this. You sound young. It's cute.

(note: my guitar is tuned about 1 1/4 steps down)
lyrics and chords

The little green envelope under LMLs avatar is a private message button

[Steve Durand]

Ka Maua Hana Punahele - I don't even know what to make of this. Hilarious, and awesome take on the title. I think you're Steve Durand.

This is a collab between Ross and I. We both wrote the lyrics and Ross played the steel guitar and one uke, and sang some backup vocals.

Thanks for the review!

[Teplin]

This is a collab between Ross and I. We both wrote the lyrics and Ross played the steel guitar and one uke, and sang some backup vocals.

Thanks for the review!

I wondered who did backup vocals, thought it might be Ross. Very very nice, you guys.

[Ethan]

The Sky Looks Pissed- I listened to this song twice. I want to do a cover of this. You sound young. It's cute.

(note: my guitar is tuned about 1 1/4 steps down)
lyrics and chords

The little green envelope under LMLs avatar is a private message button

That would have been a much better idea. Hm.

[Larry Knox]

MC and LK- Jammin' mon. My stoner friend would love this. Is that offensive? I have no idea if this is authentic Jamaican music, but if it is I like it. If not, this song is interesting.

Sorry, just a couple of old white guys from California.

We just wanted to have some fun with the song and the lyrics. And Mike (MC) is very talented with many different styles of music so he wanted to give reggae a shot.

Unfortunately, the drum loops he got became unruly and ran out of time to go back and fix the timing issues. We like the song though and plan to resurrect it taking out one of the chorus's and inserting an omitted verse, get rid of the fade out and correct the drums. Ah what fun.

Larry (LK)

[Paco Del Stinko]

Adam Adamant- Aw, poor bugger. Nice mopey picture painted by the narrator, hands in pockets, all down and out. The 1950's feel is only missing some shoo-be-wahs and maybe a simple waltz type beat. Nice simple structure and patient pacing work well here. I like this even if I don't know some of the dropped names. Maybe a little wimpy sounding during the section with strings alone on top of the guitar.

Andrew Reist- I like the threatening menace here, but don't think it delivers. Developmentally, I suppose. There are some good vocal melody ideas here as well, if feeling a little lost at times. The huge snare hits sound great and remind me of drums from the Black Sabbath Born Again album. The guitar lead adds nice focus to the song, and tightens up the gravelly sound of the rhythm guitars nicely. Moody, but lacking the breakout explosion that while maybe typical, would've kicked ass.

Ash Kanna- Nice work, and well delivered lead vocal. It all gets a little mumbly sounding at times, with all those layers going on, but all the parts are very well done. I'm pretty much only understanding something about getting a hot dog spinning. Is it spinning into the bottle? Well, that's kinda goofy. Anyway, nice feel and good work. The length is good too.

Berkeley Social Scene- Some good word play and a nice ick factor (for me) situation. No offense, guys out there. I'd like to think I'm open minded enough to give it a go, but I dunnoI like the loose and airy drums under the syncopated crunchy instruments. Something Deadish about this, all the bits going in their own direction, yet holding together somehow. The song does wander a bit, and that's great for a jam, but lacks melodic development. Eh, so what. I like the casual sunny groove and let's do whatever we want attitude. Good fun and excellent playing all around.

Billy's Little Trip featuring Quimby- That intro guitar riff sounds like it was copped off of a DEVO album. Point! There's a bit of a flirty feel here in the vocals at times that works well. I like the chorus section with the high, dissonant guitar accents, the song breaks open and threatens to get too cluttery, but hangs on. Good times vibe comes through well here, as it should from the backyard party master, and I like the arrangement as well. Quimby's voice fits in very well here and hopefully you guys'll collab again.

The Bourbon Drops- The song pulls together nicely when the lead vocal comes in, all nice and strong. Straight forward but strong melody and pretty good backing vocals. I like the approach to recording that you guys must take, and it suits a tune like this well, keeping it organic. It may start and end a bit clumsily, but trivial compared to the overall pleasant vibe here. An excellent example of tune over production unlike, uh, me or someone. Nicely done.

Charles Cack & His Little Cack Surprise- Despite the totally nicked melody, I like this. It's probably the horn though, mostly, kind of stumbling along with the song. i was expecting it to break out of the old 78 sound, but glad it didn't. Little cak is funny, too. Pleasant tune.

deetak- Love the intro, too short, but so sweet. This is great. Billowing purple fabrics and misty clouds, it doesn't stray too far into outer space although hints that it might at times. Very interesting melody that is far from typical, yet accessible. Feels a little short, but I have no idea what you might want to add to it. If it's done, it's done. This would have to contend for the vote back in the single vote era.

Drew Styles & the Blue Velvet Band- Something stumbly about that beat, I think. Regardless, I like the happy/sad feel of the progression. It's nice when the chorus guitars come in midway, maybe too late. They could've come in earlier, and then for a different verse played a different pattern or something Still, it adds a depth missing from the first half. The nostalgic perspective is portrayed well here, we're all getting older and all that. Nice, straight forward tune that would sound better spiffed up if you took the time.

Jedi Spaceship- Ha! Nice try Booty boys. I'm a fan so I'm digging this before it settles into itself although it opens confidently and feels like it's always been around. The jam section doesn't quite gel, but that section threatens to blow your face off. Funny how the opening riff, which borders on goofy, a little, feels much darker and tough nearer the songs end. The song may wander a bit, but brings the rock and a big heap of 'tude. Excellent!

Jim McCarter- Nice story song although dope that I am, I thought that there might be something fishy going on here. Guess not, though. I like your vocal timbre and been around a while delivery. Guitars sound very nice as well, and the accents are tastefully done. The song structure provides all that you need: bit of story, simple chorus to put the point to it. Well balanced and well done.

Ka Maua Hana Punahele- This name of this combo I know from a song performed by Les Paul and Mary Ford. Anyway, love the instrumentation and the slide sounds the nuts. Good fun and lively, you guys took a seemingly radical turn this fight. It may be a traditional sounding song, but who could've seen this coming, and the dolphin bit is great. This goes to the top of the list and would also contend for vote in the single vote era. Great work, bros.

LML- I like the pulsing throb and synthy accents. Your voice is nice, but a little flat, delivery-wise here. Like without affect. I wouldn't know how to put something like this together as well as you, but it's missing some heat, especially with the guy-baiting threat of girl on girl. Maybe some kind of swirling, airy pad or something. Still, danceable and the chorus is fairly catchy.

LSK- I dunno. feels like an old joke that I've heard before.

MC and LK- Gets a little clunky at times after the strong opening, but nothing really bad. The chorus works better than the verses, I think. And although it almost feels out of place the bridge works well. Out of place only in that it sounds like it was adapted from a pop tune to fit the reggae vibe. Not that that's wrong, just felt maybe a bit shoe-horned. Well done tune with a good vibe and right amount of the gray I see with certain reggae tunes.

mc joebudy- I dunno, what's wrong with this? Production issues aside, this song makes me smile. It's goofy, and I guess if you were trying to be all cool then you failed. But the synth sounds and crammed all in there vocals are great. I'm liking this alot, although I may not want to hear it a year from now. OK, a week from now either. But still! The slight hesitation before you say...Spin the bottle! nearly makes me wet myself. Dig around the boards for help on EQ, singing techniques, compression, dig in and improve.

noah mclaughlin- I wasn't sure that I liked this the first time that I heard it start, like it was a little too disjointed or something. But I when the loopy guitar riff and especially the weird vocal collective comes in, I dig it. The chorus vocals sound like they could be done by a mob of children. Maybe slightly scary children, but still. I also like how the song uses the same progression throughout and doesn't require a bridge or whatever. Nice separation in the mix down and the guitars all sound good. Nice work.

Paco del Stinko- I like the instrument parts, mostly. Vocals, eh. I think this was the only time that I played spin the bottle, somewhere in the 70's. I started thinking of some better song ideas after this was done, unfortunately.

Pathetic Wannabees- Ha! That's my motto. I like the mushing up of some Caribbean style or whatever, and like a Delta blues desire, with a funk bass line for good measure. A crooning bridge with a breakdown, musical or emotional, might've been cool as well. I think that this has dance-to appeal, although for me it might take a few bottles. Good tune with a great feel good vibe.

paulotteson- What a nice, smooth, voice, and performance as well. Love the feel and pace of this song, warmth for spells, and then sadness. Great end, too, hanging on that moment of deep sadness. Short but excellent, one of the best tunes this week. And it's not even about rape. Imagine!

The Sky Looks Pissed- This is a good tune with a nice progression and interesting arrangement. I like the outer space stuff, all romantic. The delay accents are a good idea, if a bit sloppy. Man, if you had a pedal steel or good imitation, you could've made people cry. Yeah, drums played with brushes, a two or three note bass line, pedal, great out live. Of course, it works good here as basically a guy and guitar jobby. Good job.

South Sycamore Wheelbarrow Factory Ensemble- Wow. I like the way distorted rhythm progression and where it goes, but the voice is a bit rough, especially so high in the mix but especially so off time. Maybe that was the intention, a shocker or something. Eh. This could've been catchy, in parts anyway, and that's more effective, ultimately. Stand up straight, then relax and try again. Attaboy!

Those Meddling Kids- Aw, this is sweet! It's like a sun-lit room, light and sparsely furnished, but warm and homey. Light musical elements, versus pounding, that may float a bit but don't get lost up in the air. Traditional, from you, non-traditional arrangement, that feels as though it picks up momentum as it goes yet stays true to itself. A delight to listen to, and top tier of the week, and perhaps, the TMK catalog. A salute!

Toasted Sandwich- The hey-la-la-las are welcome and the psychedelic transformation as well, after thinking this would be too 70's singer/songwritery. I like the cute bottle always comes back to you sentiment. Romantic and bordering on too cute at times, this works quite well and should sit nicely at the top of the heap this week. Good job.

Wages- Nice and poppy, from you. Some good progressions and melody ideas going on here. The demo label in your tag is appropriate, as some of the vocal lines could be better delivered and hammered into place. The delayed out section tagged into the middle is a good idea, if it transitions into itself a bit awkwardly. Nice ending idea as well, spinning off all rockingly. It's all right there.

The Weakest Suit- I didn't like the name dropping thing at first, but got it when the second verse came. Of course, it hints at 88 Lines About 44 woman. Sorry, I can't help the reference. Nice energetic performance and imagery if rough around the improvised edges. Right where it ends is a good spot to have it return in a build. Like, turn the end into a false ending and then the old dynamic, tom and snare, 16th note build. Eh, when you go live, I suppose. Fun tune.

[LML]

Oh I delivered it like a robot. I wasn't really into the song that much, or lesbian undertones so I have to agree that the delivery leaves more to be desired. But that to me was new wave music at it's best. Completely unemotional songs about stupid things. Maybe that's just my take on it. I was born in 88 for pete's sake.

[Billy's Little Trip]

Billy's Little Trip featuring Quimby- That intro guitar riff sounds like it was copped off of a DEVO album. Point! There's a bit of a flirty feel here in the vocals at times that works well. I like the chorus section with the high, dissonant guitar accents, the song breaks open and threatens to get too cluttery, but hangs on. Good times vibe comes through well here, as it should from the backyard party master, and I like the arrangement as well. Quimby's voice fits in very well here and hopefully you guys'll collab again.

Devo? Yeah, I can hear that. Manhattan said Gary Newman and B-52s, lol. Maybe my kissy memories were strongest in that era. I just have a bug right now to happy up my grooves. Maybe it's Jen's involvement, she's always all rainbows and kittens, lol. By the way, have you been looking at Lunkhead's answers? There's that dissonant guitar thing again. I know what dissonant means, but I never get how that applies to my guitar. Maybe point out a spot on the song so I can hear it, that might help me get what you guys are referring to.
Thanks Chaz. My reviews are coming, so don't forget to bring a towel. Ay OH!

[mc joebudy]

mc joebudy- I dunno, what's wrong with this? Production issues aside, this song makes me smile. It's goofy, and I guess if you were trying to be all cool then you failed. But the synth sounds and crammed all in there vocals are great. I'm liking this alot, although I may not want to hear it a year from now. OK, a week from now either. But still! The slight hesitation before you say...Spin the bottle! nearly makes me wet myself. Dig around the boards for help on EQ, singing techniques, compression, dig in and improve.

I was trying to sound like I was trying to be cool. I will try to make the beats better this week, my friend (whose house I use to produce my music) is participating in this weeks song, so I will have more input on the beats. As for the hesitation, I really don't know why I didn't think that needed to be fixed. I guess it was because it was late sunday night... Hopefully this week I can record on saturday and have an extra day to make it sound less n00bish.