Fortune Cookie

[deetak]

You'll live a long, happy life
Someone's speaking well of you
Happy news is on its way to you

The joyfulness of a man prolongs his days
Something you lost will soon turn up
You find beauty in ordinary things
Don't lose this

Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause
A quiet evening with friends is the best tonic for a long day
It’s been a long day

You will take a chance in something in the near future
You will witness a special ceremony
Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later
Good things are being said about you

You’ve lived a long, happy life
Someone’s speaking well of you
Happy news is on its way to you

Pray for what you want, but work for the things you need
The time is right to make new friends
Be mischievous, and you will not be lonesome

You have spent old age in comfort and material wealth
A member of your family will soon do something that will make you proud
Make you so proud

Be prepared to accept a wondrous opportunity in the days ahead!
You will witness a special ceremony
Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later
Good things are being said about you
Above ground they doubt you
Below ground they hound you

You will wear her wink like a ring
You will have a very pleasant experience
You will be invited to an exciting event
Your desires are extravagant
They will not be granted


[[[[[[ Most of the lines taken from http://www.chinese-fortune-cookie.com/f ... uotes.html

[The Weakest Suit]

Song Fight Song 079
Fortune Cookie

My first girlfriend was a Ouija board
Painted and naked and lying on the floor
Sometimes “yes” and sometimes “no”
Sometimes her fingers would spell it out slow
But it doesn’t always go just like I said
We’d start out fucking, end up speaking with the dead
That’s why my eyes started getting lookie-lookie
For a slightly less haunted fortune cookie

My next girlfriend was like a magic-8 ball
She never had much to say about anyting at all
If I wanted an answer, I’d have to shake her
But most of the time she’d just say “ask again later”
But it doesn’t always go just like I said
Icosehedral girls can be wild in bed
But all signs pointed to me getting lookie-lookie
For a slightly more talkative fortune cookie

Now it seems I’m at the end of my tail
Talkin’ ‘bout the girl whom I currently nail
I met her at a buffet dessert station
“Confucius say…” starts every conversation
And this one’s going better than I said
After dinner every sentence always ends with “…in bed”
Now every night I get a good lookie-lookie
At my fresh-baked, sweet-tasting fortune cookie

© 2009 Weakest Suit Songs

[jast]

Fortune Cookie by Jan Krüger

I've got a fortune cookie sitting on my plate
Its message is quite simple: your day will be great!
I can't wait to see the things I'm going to enjoy
What will it be, a raise, new love, or yet another toy

And when I have to pay the bill, I see I have no cash
Right, okay, I'll do the dishes, and take out the trash
I'm coming home, band practice time, the drummer isn't there
He calls me, says: you suck, I quit, but I can't seem to care

'Cause the fortune cookie told me that my day would be great
And I can wait

I'm still here, I'm feeling good, and music is alive
So what, the drummer's gone, who cares, our band will still survive
Damn, a string just broke on my guitar, what will I do
Oh wait, I can still sing and play piano, we're not through

The fortune cookie told me that my day would be great
And I can wait

What's the noise, oh crap, a pipe burst, water's flooding in
All my effects are dying
The bass amp is frying
But the fortune cookie told me that my day would be great
And I can wait
I'll just stay here and keep on rocking, looking for great fate
And I can wait
'Cause the fortune cookie told me that my day would be great
And I can wait
And I can wait

[Paco Del Stinko]

Fortune Cookie - Paco del Stinko

I got a fortune cookie and this is what it said
Be careful when you go home tonight and look under your bed
So I finished off my Scorpion Bowl
Then I went home and did as I was told

Sometimes you get a little luck, it can be good or bad
Sometimes you gotta know when to duck, or when to tip your hat
Don't mind if you hit the suck, or get laid out flat
You won't find that your down is up, but you'll make it back
Everybody gets a little slack

So I staggered home and stumbled up the stairs
Crouched down to look under the mattress and see just what was there
I saw a miniature man in a silken robe
He turned to face me and this is what he spoke

Sometimes you get a little luck, it can be good or bad
Sometimes you gotta know when to duck, or when to tip your hat
Don't mind if you hit the suck, or get laid out flat
You won't find that your down is up, but you'll make it back
Everybody gets a little slack

I asked the guy, what are you doing here?
He looked at me, while stroking his beard

I write the fortune and put them in the cookie (oh really?)
But it was my chance to escape (hmm) when master was not looky (well good for you!)

I helped him out, put him in a shoe box
I offered him a bite to eat, and he said thanks a lot
He said it was time to retire
I set him up on the mantle right over the fire

Sometimes you get a little luck, it can be good or bad
Sometimes you gotta know when to duck, or when to tip your hat
Don't mind if you hit the suck, or get laid out flat
You won't find that your down is up, but you'll make it back
Everybody gets a little slack

[irwin]

Fortune Cookie - Suckweasel

We started with the house chow mein
Now all the pork is gone
And then we ate that spicy eggroll
The burning lingers on
And I'm a rat but you're a snake
your sister, she's a boar
And now you're waiting for that cookie
To tell you what's in store

God damn that fortune cookie tells you how to live
And keeps you from feeling when you take too much to give
I know it's hard sometimes to make your own mistakes
But that's the way the cookie
That's the way the cookie
Yeah that's the way the cookie breaks

I'd order up the general's chicken
But you don't like it hot
And you would rather count the holes
Than all the things we've got
But the cookie says good things will come (in bed)
If we can only wait
And if it seems the fish won't bite
Consider changing bait

Don't let that fortune cookie tell you what to do
It's never too late to start over anew
I know we've had our share of rain and had our tumbles
But that's the way the cookie
Yeah that's the way the cookie
Oh that's the way the cookie...

That's the way the cookie
Oh that's the way the cookie
Yeah that's the way the cookie breaks.

[martyr]

Fortune Cookie
by Zinkline

Rice and chicken
Or should he take the shrimp?
Kung Pao, not spicy
Strokes his beard in contemplation, cracks open his fortune

Great things come in small packages
You will go a journey
There's strength in numbers
You are a kind and generous soul
That is not a fortune
That is not a fortune

Genii tea, reading the pattern
The leaves all flow to the bottom
There is more to be found here
Than the words inside, than the words inside

Great things come in small packages
You will go a journey
There's strength in numbers
You are a kind and generous soul
That is not a fortune
That is not a fortune

Can't say this out loud
Laughter would drown
Need to come up with something else
Something that would work in the sandbox

Great things come in small packages
You will go a journey
There's strength in numbers
You are a kind and generous soul
That is not a fortune
That is not a fortune

What are all these numbers on the back?
Going to the 7-11 to buy a ticket

[Rabid Garfunkel]

Fortune Cookie
by Rabid Garfunkel, with help from Whoregasm

Roz:
Although that thing [synthesizer] is fun, but people who actually call and say they're making music, quote-unquote, when it's some douchebag with a fuckin' expensive-ass computer setup, and like, not you, but like people...

Pat:
I'm a douchebag, with a cheap-ass computer system...

Roz:
But you don't say, you don't say "I made music" and then fucking do nothing but like that. You know what I mean, like and then have this, give a cd of like that "Whaddya think man, it's pretty amazing, huh?" Noooo, you pressed one fucking key on the keyboard and a fucking computer program did the rest of it for you. It's not amazing, it's annoying, you suck. Fuck off.

Pat:
Uhhh, you're not saying anything newwwww.

Roz:
I know, totally. No, you don't do that, you actually make... people who use the computers to enhance their music, or like, uh, drum machines, or, um, for the violin tracks, or whatever that's fuckin'... don't, no, no...

Pat:
Drum machines?

Roz:
No...

Pat:
[triggers drum machine]

Roz:
Okay, fuck. Okay [laughs], alright.

Pat:
I'm sorry, you said drum machine and...

Roz:
Alright. Clayton! [drummer] Come on, Pat's getting cracky!

Pat:
[triggers drum machine. again.]

Roz:
[laughs] This is your typical Saturday. I wish I could wear sandals.

[Lucky Spoon]

Fortune Cookie by Lucky Spoon

V1 (NOT, the intro)
Unfortunate
That's what you wanna be
Unfortunate
That's what you wanna be
Unfortunate
That's what you wanna be
Unfortunate

V2
You said that you were hungry
You said you had needs
moved to the silence
waited patiently

Use metal or use wood
fulfill your desire
when it's all over
destiny won't lie

CHORUS
You broke yourself
Shattered outside
Leave the pieces
and read what's inside

You think you know life?
You think you deserve?
Your fortune tells
all of what's in store

BRIDGE
???????????

V3
Unfortunate
That's what you wanna be
Unfortunate
That's what you mean to me
Unfortunate
That's what you wanna be
Unfortunate
That's all that you can see

[CharlesLindbergJr]

So, apparently my lyrics are not detectable...

Charles Lindberg and The Aviators - Fortune Cookie

Baby I don't care
if you're from China
all I know is that I just
just wanna make you mine-a
and I know
that my parents might frown
but I don't care
if you're a little, bit, brown

cause baby you're my fortune cookie
I wanna break you in half
and read what's inside of you
fortune cookie
tell my friends what is says
and then eat you in front of them
fortune cookie
girl you come in a plastic wrapper
fortune cookie
whenever I get chinese

and to think
I was thinking of a male order bride
oh but girl
you've given me so much pride
our love will never end
even if you build a great wall
I'll fight off Gozilla for you
and you'll never be touched by Mothra

CHORUS