...And all I got was a tie? (World's Greatest Dad reviews)

[jb]

Thanks NYJM. I really appreciate the feedback. I only had 2 hours to slap it together unfortunately so its a bit thin. I wouldn't mind some tips on creating interest if you have any thoughts on that. I'm relatively new at this and I'd like to learn as much as I can.
Cheers,

Spend more than 2 hours on it, and maybe some more stuff will come to you.

[glennny]

JB is a great singer, I like when he orchestrates better than his G & G. For my songfight money (kudos) the best G & G is the White Hat, mostly because he plays the Hell out of his acoustic guitar. Great song with a good melody and some awesome playing = great G & G.

[nyjm]

This article was brought up on the "Help and How To" boards recently, and though it's talking mostly about how to mix a pop song, I think this little nugget is a really good idea:

Now get out your CD collection and listen to some of your favourite records that sound good. Listen to some things that sound similar to the kind of thing you are trying to achieve, but also listen to some things that are quite different. [...] You're just using the other records to put "stakes in the ground" so you can say, "ah - this is where we are on the map" - "this is where we stand compared to everyone else". It doesn't mean you're after the sound of the records you're listening too - on the contrary, you might be trying to get very far away from it!

I find myself constantly listening to various bits of music and thinking "now that's a cool idea." It might be a drum part, a bass riff, or just the way the vox are mixed, but they often wind their way into the songs that I record (cf. the FTD song for this fight and then Nirvana's Smell's Like Teen Spirit.)

[2dogs]

Generic, JB, NYJM, Glenny. Thank you !!!!! Yep 2 hours doesn't cut it. Unfortunately this time, its all I had to write for my dad who has cancer. I'll try to record an english version with melodic improvements and additional instruments to see how far I can take it musically.
JB's tune is very good indeed and a great example for me to learn from. I've been at singing since last year so I have lots to learn to see what I can do with my voice. The mixing magic of not making a tune sound like a recording is a great point. Well. Lots to chew on. Thanks folks, I appreciate the time you took to help me. I'll get on it and see what I can do.
Cheers

[Eric Y.]

an english version

This does not guarantee to make a song better.
For instance -- compare the relative success (on American pop charts) of "Ninety-nine Red Balloons" vs. "Neunundneuntzig Luftballoons"

[JonPorobil]

Definitely. 2dogs, just in case your commitment to recording an English version was in response to my request for "a translation," just be aware... I just meant the English translation written out and posted to Ye Olde Lyric Archive.

[2dogs]

Definitely. 2dogs, just in case your commitment to recording an English version was in response to my request for "a translation," just be aware... I just meant the English translation written out and posted to Ye Olde Lyric Archive.

Tks Jon. Slightly less labor intensive than re-recording

Eric, I think the German version Nina's song had a certain "je ne sais quoi" , but overall, she was just damn sexy regardless of which version she sang !!!

Cheers,

[glennny]

World’s Greatest Dad

2 Dogs- I like the vocals. The guitar playing is a little sloppy. Timing and conviction could be much better. This is not helped by a very thin tinny timbre on the guitar. The recording tone for the guitar would work with a nice bass line to fill the bottom end. However with drums it would be competing for the cymbal space. So the song isn’t bad, although too long and repetitive for what it is. Remember despite a quarter of French in college, I don’t understand the lyrics, therefore the melody is of crucial importance to keep my attention. I think your voice. You strike me as a singer who plays a little guitar.

Crank Radio- ART! Walk around it! This is pretty bad ass. I always like Mandy Lynn (she’s hot). Nice groove that develops. This is very cool, but too short for a vote. I get the impression you actually got your dad to play on this? Very cool! I must check out more Crank Radio.

DJME- TOO MANY EFFECTS! Too many effects affect my ability to enjoy this. Not much of a beat or a melody to hang on to here. I hope this was fun for you. This is a ‘skip ‘on repeated listens.

Ford’s Theater Disaster- Great vocals in desperate search for the right melody. I think you could really soar with the right melody. This is entertaining. The driving band is pretty good. The guitar is a little sloppy. I guess the whole band is pretty loose. Tightened up this would be more powerful. Pretty cool stuff none the less.

Paco del Stinko- Winner? Best lyrics, best performance, best dynamics, best recording, best guitar playing, (I can’t give you drums over Ken, or bass over Ryan, your vocals are on par with Bella’s but I’m not objective). Those lead lines in the verse are just gorgeous! I also love it when you have the silly backing vocals. I burned this on my weekly mix CD right away, and have been loving this all week several times a day. Well done! Big VOTE!

Pathetic Wannabees- Very entertaining. There’s just the one groove. I won’t give this many repeated listens, but I like it.

Rat Tale- This is a mess. However I like it. I think the vocal melody and vocals are very strong. The claps and guitar are sloppy. Is this Worlds Greatest Dad? Or Stumble Back?
The mix is terrible. The worlds greatest dad sounds like a drowning robot. Sounds quick and thrown together, but a revisited recording session could improve this immensely.

Signboy- Are you serious? I think your voice is great. This song rocks! I’m as Atheist as you can possibly be. I obviously hate the lyrics. Not because of the subject, or the opinion, but for the lack of originality. All of these lines are rehashed and spewed out in every Christian rock song. I don't exclude an artist from being a favorite for opposing spiritual views, Sufjan Stevens is just about my favorite newish artist and he's as Catholic as you get. Anyway, concerning your song: The playing is great! The melody is great. I think if anything there’s too much reverb. Cool solo! Feel free to give me shout outs as the example of an Athiest on future songs. I find myself a little jealous of Mike Lamb. Anyway, good song!

Steve Durand- This is wonderful! The orchestration and composition are really great! The horns the piano and the mandolin sound great! This gets a vote. Nice lyrics!

The Weakest Suit- This is a nice song. Guitar is solid. Melody is pretty good! This strikes me as rather heartfelt. Your voice sounds really good in this track. All within your range and sung with conviction. Cool song!

The Semolina Pilchards- The 1st session was Martyr, ken and myself. We hashed out the chord pattern and main riffs. I feel like most of the riffs came from me and ken directed the structure of the song.The Berkeley Social Scene temporarily fragmented in order to support the Rock Cookie Bottom movement (Jonathon Mann). We lost Martyr and Lunkhead to RCB. So Ken and myself were fortunate enough to have Ryan available to write and record. It's so great to play with Ken and Ryan together. Years ago when we were all in a band together i played bass and Ryan played guitar, but I like this configuration where I play guitar best. I wrote the chorus lyrics and vocals. Ken and Erin I think wrote the verses. We throw up a google document as a lyric bag when we get the title and anyone in the BSS or associated BSS can contribute. So my favorite session was the one with my daughter Annabella. She’ll sing forever, we often get treated to an opera/ballet solo performance by her. So the directions I gave her were: Sing about what you like about me (her dad) and be sure to sing the words “World’s greatest Dad”. Originally I recorded some very sick sounding harmonies for the chorus. Ken tells me when he 1st listened to them they scared his girlfriend. (I’ve got issues with my father). Ultimately the non-scary dissonant harmony version didn’t make it. My favorite part is the bridge. That kid of mine is very musical. I’m never objective about my own music. They’re my babies, and this one has my daughter in it, and she’s singing “world’s greatest dad” so this is my clear favorite.

Small fight, but those who entered did some really good work!

Votes go to: Paco del Stinko, Steve Durand, Weakest Suit, and the Semolina Pilchards

[signboy]

All of these lines are rehashed and spewed out in every Christian rock song.

thanks dude! I guess that means I nailed what I was going for!

[Paco Del Stinko]

2dogs- Sounds like Dylan from the "Lay Lady Lay" era, whenever that was. I like the progression and the melody once it settles in. Sounds like you're straining at times to get it all right, and that's OK for demo reasons. I'm not sure why you switch to English except to let us know the title. I wonder if you shouldn't have just let us keep on guessing. I like the tambourine, although it could be tighter and reverbed all big. Good tune, a little wandery feeling.

Crank Radio- I like the textures here and the pling-plong intro. Somewhere between a Chinese western flick and Camper Van Beethoven's ethnic ska tones. I have no idea how it relates to the title as it appears to just be tagged onto the end. Still, good piece even if smushed into the title.

DJ Master Exodus- Like someone else mentioned, the backing track is kind of spooky, but the vocal delivery is flat, and way too buried in the mix. The vocal performance also suffers from being performed shyly. Maybe late at night not wanting to wake the neighbors/room-mates/parents? Give it a little gusto! Arrangement could use some whittling down as well.

Ford's Theater Disaster- Almost a Stones feel for a couple of seconds, prior to turning all Nirvana. I like the way that this opens and closes its fist as it goes along. Something about the snare rolls sounds a bit funny to me, though. I like the sound of the kit, just the snare hits are all too loud or something. While the vocals are good, a throat shredding delivery on the chorus would have served the listener well. Not your throat, but that's art, no? Good rocker.

Paco del Stinko- I had intended this to be my first pedal steel song, so I kept the progression straight forward, pretty much lifting the Stones "Dead Flowers". However, while learning the steel part, my fretting hand cramped so bad I couldn't grip the steel, or regular guitar for the rest of the day. So, off to simulated steel, which was way easier to pull off.

Pathetic Wannabees- If the one vote only days were still here, I'd have to cast it for this one. I love the rainy streets in the naked city feel blended seamlessly with the Tom Waitsian vocal/lyrics. Loose but not a slop-fest. I have no idea what chords are being played on the guitars and wonder if you do as well. (kidding...about you) I don't know what else this needs except more listens. Love it.

Rat Tale- This is delivered in a semi-humorous manner, but has a heart underneath. Drunken and sloppy, singing into a coffee can. Minus major points for turning a different song into WGD, and trying to pass it off, that comes across as lazy. Still, nice tune, or start to one.

The Semolina Pilchards- Great jam. The chorus works well, and makes the tune take off somewhat when it arrives. Glenn's daughter works very well here, given that it could be risky or too self indulgent for just Glenn. Great job, Bella! There are some points when I can hear where a guitar overdub might be good, like later in the song, the riffs start feeling a little thin, but you wouldn't want to muck this up with too much noodleage. Lean and tight, makes it right.

Signboy- Yeah, you got that 80's feel nailed alright. Great job on accomplishing what you wanted. Hmm. Also a whiff of Melvin in there. What's up with that? Or the big M, eh? Great vocal work and the huge chorus sells well. The guitars are fantastic, if on the gravelly side for me, tone-wise. The lead is the nuts though, and fits perfectly. I like this song in the context here, but wouldn't search out this type of music on its own. But hats off for seeing your vision through.

Steve Durand- This tune is cute and works very well, sold by its oom-pa-pa type charm. Great instrumentation and performance/recording. The lyrics are good if almost to cutesy. Still, nice story. Performance-wise they feel like they are right off the paper. Understood how and why that may be, just saying. Yeah, I'm one to talk about vocals. Still, a nice tune that is very complete and well balanced, it just may not rise to the top of your very impressive catalog. All those real instruments sound so good though, beautiful.

The Weakest Suit- Emotional and honest, this works on those merits alone. A harmonica would be a nice accompaniment to this as it stands. For the grand vision, it could build into a huge gospel choir. OK. Maybe not, but as always with your tunes, they can stand alone while offering an open pallet for ideas. Nice lyrics though, and hopefully you're in a place where you can share this with your dad.

[mrbeany]

2dogs: I don't know the language, but I liked it. Vote.

Crank Radio: Is the vinyl-esque crackle a specific effect you went for, or just accident? Either way, it works. Vote.

DJ Master Exodus: I listened to this again to verify it wasn't just genre-bias. Turns out it wasn't genre-bias. This just isn't a good example of any genre. If you're going to sing -- even briefly -- you'll want to try singing in tune. The whole wavy-echo thing you have going on doesn't hide anything. Practice makes perfect. You need more practice. My least favorite.

Ford's Theater Disaster: Well, this sounds like what I expect. Is it possible that breaking the status quo could result in more awesomeness?

Paco del Stinko: My second favorite this week. It seems a little more country than usual for you, but it fits the nature of the song. Vote!!

Pathetic Wannabees: I liked it. What is it, beat poetry? Vote.

Rat Tale: How's it relate to the World's Greatest Dad? The words seem to talk about a real asshole.

The Semolina Pilchards: What happened? This sounds derivative of something -- I think mostly "Ignorance is Bliss". I liked "Ignorance is Bliss" more.

Signboy: I don't know if it was intent or not, but this came off sounding like you're singing about Jesus being your dad. Listening to it again, I'm not sure if you're singing about a father who has passed away (if so, I'm sorry for your loss), or if you're singing a Christian Rock song. I like everything other than the lyrics.

Steve Durand: Definitely my favorite this week. Vote!!

The Weakest Suit: This seemed touching and realistic. Vote.

[nyjm]

Definitely a FTD song.

Ford's Theater Disaster: Well, this sounds like what I expect. Is it possible that breaking the status quo could result in more awesomeness?

Yeah, it seems like I've fallen into a mini-rut with the FTD stuff. To a certain degree, that's expected: I'm consciously working in the punk/alternative rock genre and that entails certain traits (overdriven guitars, verse-chorus-verse structure, social critique, "sloppy"/do-it-yourself production and performance, etc.).

On the other hand, Song Fight is frequently about seeking to bend and break the rules of genre and songwriting to find innovation that works. So, I'm going to start applying this to future songs. Also working on melody, because that's definitely a weak point.

[Steve Durand]

Congratulations Semolina Pilchards.

Whew Paco that was close. You almost broke your streak.

[Paco Del Stinko]

A photo finish! Congrats Semolina, and I am honored to be tied with the wonderful Steve Durand. Thanks to all who voted for me, it is appreciated. And yes, the streak contiunes. I want to say "nobody can beat me" but I guess that many can, and do.

[ken]

We owe it all to Bella.

Sorry Steve and Paco... great job all!

[signboy]

It's a little late because I'm a tool, but I would like to give credit to "Authors Of" for doing all the guitar in my song.

[Eric Y.]

2 Dogs - The singing is rather nice, with the possible exception of when it switches gears to English. The guitar isn't bad, just interesting enough to not sound too stark (the tambourine helps), though it probably wouldn't have worked if this had been much longer.

Crank Radio - The bass is kind of the odd-man-out in the arrangement, although it still works. I dig the music a lot, and the shouted vocals match the mood quite nicely. Wish it had ended differently though, the semi-sung title a few times didn't really cut it for me.

DJ Master Exodus - This really brings up memories of a Butthole Surfers song called "My Brother's Wife" -- I never got the point of that one, either.

Ford's Theater Disaster - Sort of threatens to fall apart in the choruses. Might have flowed better without all the backing vocals? Probably the first song I've heard where that imitation bass sound of yours (I've always wondered: is that an octave-shifted guitar?) sounds pretty okay.

Paco del Stinko - Feels like you're trying to go for an "I'm the son of a bitch that named you Sue" kind of vibe here. Although it sort of falls short of the mark, it's refreshing to hear you branch out (based on the limited experience I've had with your songs).

Pathetic Wannabees - The poetry is great, I really like it. The guitar sounds pretty sickly though, and unfortunately that keeps me from really enjoying the song as a whole.

Rat Tale - I like the rough, sloppy sound here. The vocals are pretty good on the "stumble back to you" parts; the "world's greatest dad" part really feels shoehorned though.

Semolina Pilchards - Sounds good, I especially like the singing on the "you- MADE- me in- to who I am", but not nearly so much on the "Wo-orld's greatest dad" part (here, the little kid does a much better job singing on-key than the rest of y'all).

Signboy - Very slick, well-done, but a huge huge "not my thing" due to genre bias.

Steve Durand - Like your protagonist, this has me wondering (at first) if you are being serious... it starts out sounding like another funny story, but then the second half (the "advice" part) is very heartfelt and a good message to share. Nicely done. Also, the harmonica part really reminds me of the Sesame Street theme (I think the end of the show, during the credits) -- not the melody, just the way it's played. (PS: I'd listened to these about twice before the voting deadline, and though I hadn't put together any reviews yet, I made sure to cast my vote while I still had the chance!)

Weakest Suit - Making my way through this, I kept changing my opinion of exactly what point you were trying to get across: lines like "I let Hallmark speak for me" made me think you were commenting negatively on people who buy into junk with the "world's greatest dad" slogan for lack of any creativity, but the "man-to-man" bits really seemed like you were being sincere when you say it's hard to put into words. I think the main thing was the times you talked about how Hallmark (or coffee mugs) can say how you feel better than you can -- it was a little hard to pick up on whether that was sarcasm or not. In the end, though, I think I've decided to take your words at face value. A nice little song that stands up pretty well on its own (how sick you must get of the "full band" comments!)... although whoever said a bit of harmonica would fit in nicely was absolutely correct: just a little bit here and there floating around, kind of like Neil Young's "Old Man". Good job, though.

[The Weakest Suit]

Weakest Suit - Making my way through this, I kept changing my opinion of exactly what point you were trying to get across: lines like "I let Hallmark speak for me" made me think you were commenting negatively on people who buy into junk with the "world's greatest dad" slogan for lack of any creativity, but the "man-to-man" bits really seemed like you were being sincere when you say it's hard to put into words. I think the main thing was the times you talked about how Hallmark (or coffee mugs) can say how you feel better than you can -- it was a little hard to pick up on whether that was sarcasm or not. In the end, though, I think I've decided to take your words at face value. A nice little song that stands up pretty well on its own (how sick you must get of the "full band" comments!)... although whoever said a bit of harmonica would fit in nicely was absolutely correct: just a little bit here and there floating around, kind of like Neil Young's "Old Man". Good job, though.

thanks for the kind words. most of the time my lyrics are sarcastic, but this time, and on my "ottoman" song (also for my parents), they aren't.