tbuk00 wrote:I'm not really sure how you got my real name, kinda creepy to say the least. I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that again.
You included your real name in the metadata (ID3 tags) of the MP3 file, probably by accident, and Noah probably just copied the info from the tags when he reviewed all those songs. I assume that iTunes (which you used to encode your song to MP3) had your name set as a default value for tags. The tags in the file look like this:
(If you really want your real name out of the public eye, you could consider asking the moderators to edit it out of Noah's post and replace it with your band name. I'm sure it's not such a big deal that anyone would complain.)
Please see Jast's post above; this is precisely what happened. However, instead of bugging Spud or JB (who have way better things to do), I've already changed the name to "Everlasting Gobstopper" in my review.
Stream of consciousness while listening because that's the only way these will happen.
Banging Betty
The sparse guitar and bass at the beginning is pretty ok. Really don't like it when the distorted guitar comes in. Vocals could be more solid. I can hear that you are trying to do a kind of bluesy thing here, but the feel is totally absent. It's, like, not in the pocket, you know?
Berkeley Social Scene
The music is nicely atmospheric. I'm not very fond of the singer's voice. Part of it is just the tone of it. Sounds a bit flat, not in the pitch sense, but in the emotion sense. It might also have something to do with how the voice was recorded. However, the "you break me" vocals with the reverb on them work pretty well. Guitar solo was a bit noodly. The bass playing is good.
Cobalt Stomach
I'm a sucker for cheesy synth stuff, of course, so I'm not immediately turned off. The vocal is pretty atrocious. Maybe if you had put some sort of wacky effect on it so it melded with the synth stuff more it would have been acceptable.
The Colour of Infinity
Love the uke. Hard to wrong with uke. The recorder is quaint, but does get a bit old after a while. The vocal is not as strong as I'd like. The rhythm is sometimes a bit wonky.
Crack My Jaw
Lyrics at the beginning caught me way off guard. Was deliciously effective that way. Could do without the heavy reverb on the vocals, though. The song should have just ended at the point where you go into the floaty reverbed stuff because it's doing nothing for me.
Crank Radio
You don't need to put that much reverb on your vocals, I swear. I feel like this song could potentially be really affective if it was recorded differently. Like, everything close-mic'd really well and intimate. No weird synth that doesn't make sense with the acoustic instruments. More controlled vocal. Tighter drums. Are those sequenced drums or a real drummer? I like the "scratchin at the bottom of the well" line, which seems to be your chorus, basically, but I think the rhythm you are singing it in steals away any profoundness the line could carry. Give yourself the time to say all the words that need to be said, regardless of where that leads your song structure.
Dav
Don't like the guitar tone. This could be excused if the vocal delivery was better. Practice more, this is my suggestion.
Doscientos
What are you saying? I don't know, I can't understand it. This song is kind of mushy.
Elly Lane & the Janglin' Jims
You are singing about shuffling feet, but you are not quite shuffling the rhythm of your singing. This may be what nyjim is talking about when he says you manage to almost turn the song into a Renaissance folk ditty. This sort of thing can work, just listen to early Magnetic Fields, but there is definitely a bit too much tension here between the vocals and music. Cleaning up the couple spots where your voice falters a bit with new takes would have been a good idea.
Everlasting Gobstopper
I hope your situation is that you don't have great recording equipment and not that you chose to make your recording sound this way. Again too much abuse of reverb.
Flvxxvm Florvm
The beginning of the song and they way you deliver the first few lines make really not want to listen to your tale because I already have the impression that I'm going to be bored to tears. If you are going to do some sort of story song, man, you've got to pull me in right away. I've got to feel some kind of emotion so that I actually want to hear the story.
Future Boy
I think it turned out pretty well, given the short amount of time I spent recording it. I have every intention of recording a proper version. Though I do worry that any additional arranging I do will some how spoil the charm. We'll see.
Gooey Caramel Centaur
I had high hopes at first, given the lo-fi piano action going on, but the vocal delivery just doesn't hold up. Really, you should focus on singing actual notes, as opposed to quasi-notes. The words just sort of plod along, I'm drawn in by any particular structure or rhyme.
The Georgias
There is a decent song in here being crushed by this godawful recording. If you are making due with crappy equipment, I salute you, but the incredibly lo-fi state of the recording (mono!) makes it difficult to listen to. You could have, at the very least, put the voice more in front of the guitar. There are moments of vocal faltering, you should clean those up. The guitar solo is not convincing.
Howl Down The Chimney
See, now this is an effective use of heavy reverb. It sets a nice dreamy, eerie mood. Not a fan of the recorder. Maybe I just have a thing against recorders. Nice progression on the chorus. This a good song.
Jan Krueger
This is really great, especially once it gets going. I think the "dos" should have been double tracked to give them a bit more thickness, make them feel more solid. All the ahs and stuff you have mixed in the back-middle are really nice, though. The bass could be louder, as well, I think. But maybe you are just trying to mask the fact that it's not a voice doing the bass part. Well done, sir.
Jay Bullock
Can't say I'm immediately drawn in by songs that start with guitars of this nature. But the mutlitracking works well and I was willing to go along with it. The vocal really does not hold up, though. You are just singing words, you are singing a song. It's kind of wooden and doesn't deliver on the potential epicness that the guitars set me up for. Also, the song needs to build to somewhere as it goes along. Bass and drums need to kick in at some point.
King Arthur
Not a fan of the horns. The effects on the vocals aren't really working for me. They sound really lo-fi, even though the bass part is pretty warm sounding. Can't say I'm very excited about the lyrics, either. But you def can still write a cohesive song.
Kooler Kate and the Alcoholics
For all the distorted guitar it is pretty unimpactful. Not at all a fan of the vocal performance. It was easy for me to ignore this song.
Lord of Oats
They keyboard stuff is fun. Does sound like you are stretching your voice a bit, which isn't bad, you've got to do that to increase your range, but it is not always effective. Sometimes I feel like, ok this vocal is kind of good-bad, and then there are few notes where I'm like, no this is just bad.
Mantzfield
Weird abrupt change in tempo? Though the vocal did improve a bit at that point. Again a change in feel with distorted guitar. Not following.
Paco del Stinko
The guitar part is way more interesting than your vocal melody. If the melody was comparable, I'd be right with you. As it is, I kind of want to just listen to the track without vox.
Pathetic Wannabees
This is charming, in its way. Why the mono recording?
Rick Evans
Oh, man, those synth sounds are totally not in right now. But, you know, whatever, you gotta use what you think is cool.
Rogue Wizard Force
Promising cheesy piano at the beginning. Song ruined by terrible vocal and lyrics. I'm sorry that your life sucks.
Rone Rivendale
This is pretty awful. Do you listen to this and think "this is pretty good!" If so, why do you think that? Perhaps you need to work on being more critical of your own work?
Sheail
This is not terrible. Again abuse of reverb.
Simpsons Donkey
You need to get closer to the mic. You need to practice your song more before recording it. Or you need to do multiple takes and use the best one.
Sky Looks Pissed
This is pretty nice. Would also like you to figure out how to get closer to the mic. The closer you are, the more intimate the song will sound, which will match the vibe you have going on here. Also, why mono?
Wages
This is pretty poorly performed. Maybe it is a good song, I can't tell.
The Weakest Suit
Again, get closer to the mic, somehow. Record the guitar and voice separately, if you have to. This song does not seem to go much of anywhere.
Thanks guys, yeah the whole name thing just sort of took my by surprise. As you can tell I'm new to this.
Future Boy wrote:
I hope your situation is that you don't have great recording equipment and not that you chose to make your recording sound this way. Again too much abuse of reverb.
That's exactly the situation, the only equipment I have is the mic built into my laptop and my guitar... plus garage band. But I feel like I can do well enough with that.
tbuk00 wrote:Thanks guys, yeah the whole name thing just sort of took my by surprise. As you can tell I'm new to this.
No sweat; I can understand how creepy that would be. Learn something every fight, sometimes, it's just the basics of ID3 tags.
tbuk00 wrote:the only equipment I have is the mic built into my laptop and my guitar... plus garage band. But I feel like I can do well enough with that.
Don't fool yourself, if there's one thing that Song Fight! has taught me is JB's maxim: "Garbage in: garbage out." Nothing, no amount of talent, skill or zeitgeist, will replace quality equipment. Save up (don't skimp) and get yourself a good mic and an interface.
In the interest of a balanced opinion, I am re-quoting Caravan Ray's observation:
Caravan Ray wrote:
Yes, that is true. But so is the corollary:
"Garbage in: garbage out." Nothing, no amount of quality equipment will replace talent, skill or zeitgeist.
See the Help and How To forums for advice of all kinds, from the technical to the esoteric. Folks around here are both immensely knowledgeable and helpful.
Last edited by nyjm on Thu Aug 06, 2009 1:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Future Boy wrote:
Rone Rivendale
This is pretty awful. Do you listen to this and think "this is pretty good!" If so, why do you think that? Perhaps you need to work on being more critical of your own work?
My turn! Do you read topics before you reply to them? If so, why do you think you said this after I had already posted a reply near the beginning of this thread that reads:
The tracks seperately were good, but somehow the mix killed it, it was a horrible death.
Perhaps you need to work on knowing what you are talking about before you open your mouth?
(for the record, I'm just being an ass. Yes, the song didn't turn out well. Thanks for the review)
From spoken word to actual singing, I can screw up any style with style.
Rone Rivendale wrote:
My turn! Do you read topics before you reply to them? If so, why do you think you said this after I had already posted a reply near the beginning of this thread that reads:
The tracks seperately were good, but somehow the mix killed it, it was a horrible death.
Perhaps you need to work on knowing what you are talking about before you open your mouth?
Ah, yes, now that you mention it, I do remember reading that. It was late a night when I wrote up my reviews, though, so I did not remember reading it at the time. In any event, was this a realization you had before submitting the track? Because if it was, you prob just shouldn't have submitted it. What were you hoping to learn, if you already knew that the two tracks together suffered a "horrible death"?
This section of the forum is "Fight Discussions and Reviews", not this thread. This thread is "Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)". Posts in this thread that aren't discussing or reviewing the songs in the "Dry Spell" fight seem off topic, if you ask me. But hey, that's just my interpretation.
Anyway, my favorites are Berkeley Social Scene, The Colour of Infinity, Future Boy, Howl Down the Chimney, Jan Krueger, and Sheail. (The Colour of Infinity song reminded me of the Bourbon Drops' "Spin the Bottle", in that they both have female vocals, uke, hand claps, and recorder.) I also liked some of the band names in this fight, like Gooey Caramel Centaur, Jay Bullock, and Rogue Wizard Force.
Hi everyone. It truly has been a dry spell since our last songfight 5 years ago. I am sooooo glad to be back. Russ had a stroke back then and all songwriting stopped until recently when he buried his Dad. Since then, he's decided to go on living. And that means recording, to you fellow musicians. I sure recognize some of you from way back and I hope to review all soon.
I have heard that some of you had trouble hearing the lyrics. We hope to do better in our next song. Here are the lyrics to Dry Spell, which is about a scarecrow's concern over his crops. Based on some happenings in my garden, notice poorly mixed real crows in the solo section. Anyway, hope you enjoy it.
DRY SPELL 7/28/09 Doscientos
Guardin' in this yard of fun
howz it happen to be?
bunnies eat'n all the corn
munchin' happily
things not growin' like they could
drops won't water where they should
melons wither on the vine
crows know things ain't goin' fine
Dry spell, Dry spell
Rain locked in the sky
Dogs all runnin' round the place
throwin' dirt hi in my face
feelin' bare and tattered torn
a shower now I'd feel reborn
standin' cryin to the skies
open up and fill my mind
with refreshment like the past
hurry up and drink it fast
Dry spell, Dry spell
Rain locked in the sky
Dry spell, Dry [spell]
Pray my crops ain't gonna die
solo
Dry spell, Dry spell
Rain locked in the sky
Dry spell, Dry spell
These crops aint gonna die
Dry spell, Dry spell
That spigots standin' nigh
Dry spell, Dry spell
just bend my nail and try
Guardin' in this yard of fun
water comin' I'm the one
It's all up to me.
Hey! Welcome back, we have missed your music around here of late.
Just thought you might like to know: they have a place just for this type of thing now.
Hey! Welcome back, we have missed your music around here of late.
Just thought you might like to know: they have a place just for this type of thing now.
Man, Doscientos hasn't fought since the Dumbrella days! Welcome back! Hope you don't have too much trouble navigating the new forum!
Best wishes!
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Dori Kettle wrote:
I have heard that some of you had trouble hearing the lyrics.
See, I like these lyrics, wish I could have heard them better in the song. Interestingly, the song that the lyrics suggest to me is WAY different than what y'all recorded. Not calling that out as negative, just interesting.
From little ole' Dori's corner: Thanks for the welcome back. It was a great to hear you all this week. Lots of entries equals lots of fun! Here's my take:
Banging Betty - I like the chorus. Sisters, eh, never had one but I can imagine there is competition.
Berkeley Social Scene - I'm hearing Simon and Garfunkily sound here. I liked the guitar solo with the bass backing it up.
Cobalt Stomach - Singing reminds me of a cross of David Bowie and Suggs. In fact the whole song really reminds me of Madness. Very catchy. (smile)
The Colour of Infinity - The simplicity and sweetness of this is awesome. Harmonies are lovely. I will be listening to this again and again, thanks. Have you ever listened to IZ (Hawaiian)?
Crack My Jaw - This is a cross between a woman's study course and a science class. It “cracks” me up. I would never be so brave.
Crank Radio – I like this jazzy sound. Fun for a sunny afternoon.
The Dav – I love the guitar solo sound and especially with the second guitar backing. Sweet, worthy.
Doscientos – I posted lyrics in earlier post about how the scarecrow in the end helps the crops. Hear the real crows at solo.
Elly Lane & the Janglin' Jims – I love the harmony vocals. Catchy and I'll be listening again, thanks. Funny, your lyrics that “ this song has gone on too long” showed up in another song this week. Am I missing out on an inside joke?
Everlasting Gobstopper – I like the sound from the solo guitar, it was beautiful. I'll be listening to this again, thanks.
Flvxxvm Florvm – I can relate to failing crops. Very fun song, good for a State Fair.
Future Boy – Carley Simon influenced? She is a favorite of mine.
Gooey Caramel Centaur – This started out as a good Mr. Rogers story and turned sooo sad. I hope this is not a true story. I like the outdoors a lot, so hearing anything about it is always interesting to me.
The Georgias – I like the stompin' bass when it kicks in.
Howl Down The Chimney – I like the feeling of being on the moors of Ireland.
Jan Krueger – This reminds me of Klaus Nomi. If you're not familiar with him, check him out.
Jay Bullock – I like this. It reminds me of Neil Young. I like the story. I'll listen again, thanks.
King Arthur – We remember you back from our Songfight songs 5 years ago. Glad to hear you're still here. I liked your song a lot. Fun.
Kooler Kate and the Alcoholics – Distortion fun, yeah. Good use of title.
Lord of Oats - Wow, more David Bowie this week. That's cool.
Mantzfield – I like the chorus and abrupt changes are fun/funny like Fantomas.
Paco del Stinko – I like all the percussion. Interesting song.
Pathetic Wannabees – There is just not enough real ole' country left in this country anymore. Thanks for the fun. I'm smiling. Mono recording is the only way to go for this, way to go.
Rick Evans – Go Six Million Dollar Man. Movie spell fun.
Rogue Wizard Force – You can still clap, though. Cheers.
Rone Rivendale – Makes you examine, smile and wonder?...
Sheail – Bass is cool, man. I think the chorus is fun.
simpsons donkey – I hear the beauty. Thoughtful lyrics.
The Sky Looks Pissed – Nice way to express sincerity.
Wages – I see that you are tenacious (lots of songs on your ladder). I think this is good, I especially like 50 times, thanks.
Phillipso, Older Brothers, Semolina Pilchards, Zipline , Thank Glennny for the Frisbee, The Odoriferous Valley, The Worldly Self Assurance, Berkeley Social Scene, Very Gentle Knives, Daddy Bop Swing Set, GUNS, The Kraken Lives, Cavedwellers
Thanks, everyone, for reviews and everything. This result is yet another example that shows that my predictions are always off.
Dori: I didn't know Nomi. I can see how I would remind you of him, but stylistically I think we're quite different. And he was a better vocalist, too.
Future Boy: you're right that I wanted to keep the one instrument in the song in the background a bit. Apart from that I'm not a good bass player (it's not actually a bass, anyway) and it would be easier to notice if I made that track louder.
Future Boy wrote:Because if it was, you prob just shouldn't have submitted it. What were you hoping to learn, if you already knew that the two tracks together suffered a "horrible death"?
I think it's because his desire to have a consecutive string of entries is more important to him than having good entries...
-bill
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