She Already Knows that you dig her song. Right?

[LML]

I have a version of my song without the drums if anybody would like to take a crack at it. Yeah the drums suck, and there IS a 5 second gap in the beginning, but I do these songs with love people, not skill. It's lovable right?

[efemjay]

I think the drums sound really cool.

[Mike Lamb]

...

You know, instead of just shitting on everything, maybe you could add in some ideas on how songs might be improved?

[oddbod]

...

You know, instead of just shitting on everything, maybe you could add in some ideas on how songs might be improved?

Woah, pretty aggressive.
Perhaps if you read all my reviews and not just your own you'll see I haven't 'shit' (as you put it) on everything.
I said that your song loses momentum around the middle and limps out at the end, which I thought might give you some idea as to how to improve it. However if you want me to spell it out -
Shorten the guitar solo (35 secs in a song of only 2.45 is too long) or bring some other element in along with it to create some new interest.
Everything drops out in the entire last verse except strumming acoustic and vocal. I'd build up the last verse with more not less. It helps create a sense of anticipation. You could drop everything out right at the end; for say the last few bars but not for an entire verse.
Of course everything expressed above is My Own Opinion. Music is art, there are no rules.

If you get so angry about a slightly critical review, perhaps you ought to reconsider posting your songs. Or do you expect to get nothing but praise? I personally prefer honest review rather than an ungenuine one from someone worried about causing offense.

[MENBAH!]

Work, band practice and Your New Dress are keeping me from finishing these reviews so far (I'll still try!), but here's what I had when I stopped:

Barely Adequate: Cool instrumentation. I especially like the little vocal-counterpoint part where the percussion drops out. Overall the mix isn’t great, which is the main thing holding this song back.

Billy’s Little Trip: Nice arrangement, with a cool bass part and interesting lead guitar throughout. The writing is fine, if a bit dated. I’d like more melody in the vocal. Overall I want it to do something for me, but it just doesn’t quite.

Christopher Cogott: Sweet drums, good melody, great harmonies, awesome energy. Vote.

Deetak: Pretty song; not much more to say. With a bit more development, this could easily be voteworthy, but it falls just short in its current version.

Don’t Tell Betsy: With that much pop energy, I want this to be turbo-poppy. Tambo, ooh-la-las, the works. Failing all that, it at least needs a bridge, especially at 4+ minutes. I suspect this will be my favorite non-vote song of the week.

DuToVa: It looks like this week is mostly about energy. This one would be awesome at about 10-20 bpm faster, and with more variation in the arrangement. Right now it’s Talking Heads on Valium, and leaves me a bit disappointed.

efemjay: Can’t think of anything that put me off at all. Vote.

Flvxxvm Florvm: One chord + unison vocals + no chorus = Bland. I like the arrangement and everything, but that blandness is the aftertaste I’m left with. Blandness can be an aftertaste, right?

Gooey Caramel Centaur: Needs more drums and less lead vox in the mix. I like the writing, and the octave drop in the last verse. There are an awful lot of almost-votey songs this week, and this is a perfect example.

Josho: OK, so the vocal was supposed to sound funny. I get that. But being on-key would have helped, and not given me nearly as much of a headache. I like the concept, and thanks for making it so short.

[jast]

I have to vote for my own

I've wondered what the etiquette here about this is.
I've never voted for myself as I see it as "just not cricket" or "terribly bad form" as Bertie Wooster would put it, but maybe my sense of fair play is stuck in the last century.

I try to apply the same voting criteria to my songs that I apply to others' songs, so it happens that I vote for my own song. I have sometimes not voted for my songs, though, and I don't vote for my song if I don't have enough time to listen to and review all other songs.

[LML]

I don't vote for my own songs because in essence when I get the results I don't count that extra vote in my mind. Seems pointless unless you're really after the win and even then it's rare as hell. Once upon a time I did a song with Wes and Des and we won by one extra vote put in by Wes. Winning doesn't mean jack to me, but if you're sure you're gonna win if you have that one extra vote, go for it.

[irwin]

I'm with Jast. I usually try to vote for the 1-4 or so songs that break away from the pack. If I think my own tune is among that group, I'll vote for it.

I think that has only happened once or twice to date.

Personally, I think I'd be more embarrassed if I voted for my own song and got only one vote than if I didn't vote for my own and got zero.

[Billy's Little Trip]

I vote for everyone but except myself. I believe everyone deserves a vote for effort.

....except Rone.


























































Kidding, Ronester.

[bdog5778]

So, I haven't posted a proper set of full reviews in a while -mainly due to the investment of time necessary. Sorry, it takes me a while to collect all of my thoughts/impressions to do it justice. So, for now, I'm goiing to do a few as I go. Hopefully I'll have time to do them all, but no promises.

Barely Adequate

Getting a little bit of a Cake w/ a British accent vibe here. Dig it. Someone else didn't like the whispered/robot/whatever vocals. To be honest, they were the only thing that kept me listening to it. A few more listens though and I'm definitely enjoying it. "Bag of rats"? It only works because YOU are singing it. Like the auto-wah solo, too.

Billy's Little Trip

Oh yeah. Wicked bassline and 5th harmonized vocals. Guitars need more "grunt", "thump", "sack"...whatever you want to call it. "Look like a rat"? Sorry, only Barely Adequate can pull that off. Only one "rat" reference per SongFight. Hehe. I want a lyric substitution on the second refrain of the chorus; i.e., no repitition of the "woman scorned" line. Perhaps, even, just on the last chorus. Just to shake it up. Still, great vibe to this song. I like vibe. [N.B. I tend to overuse the word "vibe". Work with me here.]

Christopher Coggott

All the elements are here. Byrds/Monkees jangle -check. Brian Wilson on vocals. Poppy goodness. The melody/lyrics just doesn't really move me. Sorry. I really like your voice and would like to hear some doubling on the vocals. I'm thinking "Wouldn't It Be Nice?" (while we're going with the Beach Boys thing). The harmonies are great too. That bit right before the solo is excellent. DON'T like the '80s solo, though. The tone just seems inappropriate and/or jarring given the context of the song.

All right, more later. Lunch hour is over.

[efemjay]

If the one vote for your own song is meaningless, then so is not voting for your own song. Go ahead and subtract one vote from my song in your heads. Since MENBAH! voted for me, that will still leave me with at least one.

[Billy's Little Trip]

Billy's Little Trip

Oh yeah. Wicked bassline and 5th harmonized vocals. Guitars need more "grunt", "thump", "sack"...whatever you want to call it. "Look like a rat"? Sorry, only Barely Adequate can pull that off. Only one "rat" reference per SongFight. Hehe. I want a lyric substitution on the second refrain of the chorus; i.e., no repitition of the "woman scorned" line. Perhaps, even, just on the last chorus. Just to shake it up. Still, great vibe to this song. I like vibe. [N.B. I tend to overuse the word "vibe". Work with me here.]

Ha you just reminded me, I forgot to post my lyrics. No rat in this song, lol. Thank for diggin' the vibe.

[Paco Del Stinko]

Nope. Never voted for one of my songs, as Paco or otherwise. Told myself that I'd only do it if I had the best song of the week, and that's yet to happen. When it does, I'll vote it up. Stubborn bastard, I am.

[nyjm]

Thornberry
+++ trippy change of pace for the second part of the chorus +++
/// as cool as the dynamics of this piece are, I lost interest about halfway through... It's not you, it's me. ///
/// I promise to listen again ///

As promised:
+++ great opening groove +++
+++ outro / bridge at 2:30ish : great blend of all the grooves and tones +++
/// the high reverb snare for the trippy parts seems a bit out of place, the one really effects-laden sound in an otherwise very organic-sounding recording ///
+++ glad I gave this a second listen +++

RE: voting for yourself
Now that we have the multiple voting option, I always vote for myself. For me, it's like a democracy: voting is a critical part of the whole thing. On the flip side, I try to never submit something that I don't think is my best work at the time.

[Mike Lamb]

...

Woah, pretty aggressive.
Perhaps if you read all my reviews and not just your own you'll see I haven't 'shit' (as you put it) on everything.

OK, sorry that came out more angry-sounding than I intended, I was clearly having a bad day. I posted that comment because I did read all your reviews, and was struck by an overall tone of negativity. Personally, I find it vexing when people (not just you) post reviews that are a laundry list of the things they dislike without providing much in the way of constructive criticism, but everyone is entitled to their own style.

I certainly have no illusions about the quality of my work, so the reviews that are most interesting to me are the ones where people post specific suggestions for areas of improvement. In your followup, you did just that, and I appreciate the insight. I know it's difficult and time consuming to come up with those kinds of suggestions, so thanks for taking the time to review and add info.

-Mike Lamb

[bdog5778]

Lunchtime again.

deetak

Almost embarrassingly earnest. Still, it works. Lovely, lilting vocals and melody. Okay, I actually like this quite a bit more than I may be hinting here.

The acoustic guitar needs some gating for all of that hiss. May I recommend FLOORFISH. It's a free plug-in and can be downloaded from http://www.kvraudio.com. I've used this to remove hiss from condenser-recorded acoustic guitars to great effect in the past. Or you can go directly to http://www.digitalfishphones.com to get it directly. I HIGHLY recommend the compressors: Endorphin and Blockfish. Better than Waves' Renaissance Axx for my guitars (which I also have).

Don't Tell Betsy

Some forgotten gem from the '60s. Seriously, if this came on the radio, I would spend some time afterwards looking on the interwebs trying to figure out who it was. It sounds like you have a plate reverb on the lead vox, but I think a slap-back delay might work a little better (could be wrong on both counts, though). This song does need to be a minute or two shorter.

DuToVa

Boring drums. Just absolutely snooze-a-riffic. Kills the dynamics of the song -making it seem longer than it really is. Don't care for the ratty guitar tone and I can't stand the flatted-5th chord change.

Now, on the plus side, I like your voice and the keyboards -especially on the outro- are rather gnarly. Production's slick and everything seems to be in time. The outro, in particular, really works here to elevate the song but it may be too-little, too-late.

efemjay

Nice production. Nice lyrical cadences. LOVE the keyboard. Don't care for the "uh-huh"s. The bike horn is excellent. The gronky outro is sweet, too. Not a fan of this style, but you've done here, you've done well.

Flvxxvm Florvm

Like the melody, just needs something to break it up. An arpeggiated/single note bridge, perhaps? The kick is almost subsonic -which is interesting. You may, however, want to add an EQ boost (Q=1.3) between 4 and 6 kHz. This gives the kick some "slap", enabling the listener to hear the kick as well as feeling it. Definitely some hiss on the instruments here as well. See deetak's review for my proposed solution.

All right, lunchtime's over.

[rone rivendale]

As far as the whole voting for yourself thing, I (almost) always vote for myself because I like (almost) all the music that I make. If you don't like your own stuff, you need to re-evalute what you are doing.

[Paco Del Stinko]

Barely Adequate - I like the instrumentation in this, although not the knock-knock so much. Nice when it opens up and you get all tender-like and the 2nd time, with the horns is real nice. A recording with more organic instruments would sell thiseven better, probably offering more looseness: great live tune.

Billy's Little Trip - File under: About Frickin' Time! There's my rubber bass tone I love so much, against my better desires. I enjoy the menace here, despite no strong hooky-hooks. I was guessing LML before I even heard the song, am I right? Anyway, the song rocks enough to be a moody piece under some of your video experiments or in the scene while some crazy drives over to kill his obsession. Glad it's not me! Good warm up, now clobber it.

Christopher Cogott - Whittled down to a minute or whatever, this could be a sitcom theme. Friends (yuck) meets WKRP (Yay! Hello, Baily) or something. Very nice vocal work and the drum programming should get a nod as well. Fitting lead too, in that tone I'd never use category. What is there to offer as improvements? Play it live and I'll take on the bass line while the good looking people stand up front and sell it. Great work, now get it on TV, for the right price.

deetak - Tender and intimate, I can only appreciate how you readily let us all in to what feels like very personal space. This song almost mopes as it gets going, and then takes a little journey starting here and ending there. Quiet and sad ending stirs the chemicals in my heart that want to make me cry. Good thing I'm not at the coffee house, sobbing in the silent crowd. Come around though, and I'll blubber for you in public.

Don't Tell Betsy - Love the loopy guitar hook, I wish I had written it. And the chord progressions as well, as they are right out of the book that I can't read. Catchy vocal line, a little over the map performance-wise, but I get where you're going. Good drum programming as well. I think you could really benefit from some call and response vocals. The "Find Love" being thrown right back at the lead singer by two or three other parts, real snappy and sweet, especially the climb at the end.

DuToVa - I think this song works better in the line-up than if it were a single. But I like the loping, descending progression and half-step business. Nice and thick, this dinosaur remains cuddly despite being giant. Verses work better than the chorus, which while melodic, lack something I can't place. Maybe a more noodly synth squiggle? I like the ominous wind sound though. Turn this into a Sabbath pop song/jam, and count me in for some power sludge.

efemjay - I have like, two rap CDs in my collection, minus Beastie Boys (of course) but this reminds me of Digital Underground Sex Packets which I love. The goof move of the guy leaving his phone on is so delightfully embarrasing. Nice beat and loops, open and airy, a nice hint of mystery. I enjoy your delivery and the skippity-bippity ending sounds like something I'd do. Not that that makes it good!

Flvxxvm Florvm - Somewhere between a sea chant and some Eastern drone, arrives the fuzzbox-less FLORVM nugget. While I don't think it quite takes you to another plane, I dig where it wants to go. It's maybe a little forced feeling, but that's certainly understandable. Feels like the tempo slips near the end. Maybe a sitar drone, turned into something that's no longer a sitar, would've been cool. Regardless, I like this and hope it's a peek at better relatives yet to arrive.

Gooey Caramel Centaur - Boy, this song is right there, but misses the mark. Great energy and motion, but doesn't hit it out of the park as it could. I think a refined vocal melody and performance could do wonders for this, as the backing tracks are cooking along very nicely. Dynamics, layered vocals are all in good spots, and make sense to do, but I'm not getting the powerful feeling I should from this energetic tune. Re-load it, and re-work it, there's a strong tune in there a little lost.

Johnny Cashpoint - Nice and scruffy, this is great once it gets past the stumbly opening. Right about the la-la area. My! In the la-la area, are we? It's so cute and infectious yet there's a bit of rough wool scratching the back of your neck at the same time. Maybe a little cluttery at times, I can't imagine this more opened up and slower paced as it would likely lose it's nutty charm. As always, masterful turns of phrase and humor. Keep'em coming!

Josho - Ha! This sounds like something I would have done 20 years ago just to waste time while waiting for friends to come over or something. Silly and pointless, I chuckle at the foolish who cares attitude and give you credit for that. The synth line is great against the deadpan vocal. Do a 180 next week and blow our minds.

Kasper - Tender and mature, I shouldn't be allowed to listen to this. Nice tune, with nice tones, I like and appreciate the loving feel that you've done a good job of capturing here. I think it works more as a she knows I love her better than a I'm not there lament. More looking into your eyes than yours filled with tears, type thing, that is. The lean instrumentation is nice and well played, and fitting. This would also work well with ooh-aah type backing vocals, I think, but that could also get too gushy. Nicely done as is.

LML - Forget the drums suck business, they are fine, as is the guitar. Missing? The glue that is bass. Gimme a holler any time you need a bass line, they are so often the 'secret' puller-togetherer of songs. Anyway, the lyrics are fun and the melody is direct and effective. Backing vocals would work well in the big studio version, but this song sells itself on its no bullshit charm and open palm approach.

MENBAH! - Ambitious and ballady, you should be out in the rain when you make your video for this. Bigger drums, a wall of vocal choruses and this'd be all over the radio. I like the arrangement and progression, strong theatrical whiffage works here. Production-wise, it could use a bit of beef, or maybe some arpeggiated chords under the vocals. A bit o' meat. Regardless, nice ambitious endeavor.

noah mclaughlin - I'm not clicking with the simultaneous meters here. I love the change between the two, but it feels awkward when they rub against each other. I really like the song though, with it's stop/starts and open strum sections. The backing vocals move nicely and offer up some emotion. The main melody is direct and effective, but the layering around it gives it its strength. Fix that timing business, and you have a very strong tune here.

Paco del Stinko - Dissonant, typical of me, I reckon. At times there are six guitars going, some of them doubling up. Instead of clarity and separation, I went for a blended collage.

Panna Cotta Army - Something of this reminded me of Robyn Hitchcock. A good thing, to me, anyway. I love the just a couple of chords thing, it's all you ever really need, isn't it? I like the very lean chorus, it works far better than other songs here with one or two line choruses. Why? I dunno. Rolling along and easy to catch, the song is effective in its keep it simple approach. This goes for the production as well: simple hits on the tambourine, the warm harmonica, and the big snare, all well defined. Very nice work all around, sir.

Signboy feat. Realist - This should be stronger than it is, although it's right there. I like the slinky groove and the sax parts are effective. And while I like the vocals, nice voice and all, the melody doesn't put you in a death grip. I imagine this playing in a club but people are not dancing to it. Too bad, as you could. (not me, I'm a doof) Anyway, the production is sweet, I like the dry studio sound and clear separation of all of the parts. Nice parts, ultimately lacking a strong hook. Love the breakdown section.

Thornberry - One of my faves this week, and of yours in general. The progressions are right up my alley, as is the trippy section which shows up unexpectedly, at first, but transitions out of perfectly, back into the main part. The second half of the song builds and layers wonderfully, yet could probably have some time lopped off, as it loses some of the deep atmospherics it shoots for. Maybe go deeper a little quicker with verb, receding voice, etc. Great outro idea. Anyway, nice work all around and far from failing.

Wages - Bit druggy, with the phase. Works for me, to a point. The leads are right out of The Pusher Man as well. HA! What's going on down there? I like the mood shift in the chorus and the bridge, although sloppy, goes for a good feel. Timing and vocal pitch are the issues here. For your backing vocals try something like figuring out which notes you'll be singing from the chords your strumming. Pick one at a time, record it, go back and layer the next. Make sense? Pretty simple and better than winging it. You're right there, Phil!

Walt Cronin - Charming tune, mostly performance issues arising. I love the happy/sad strumming progression, despite the poor tuning. The lyrics are decent enough but need a better delivery, and perhaps a voice in a higher register delivering one or both parts. Re-work it or toss it, whatever, but try harder next time. OK?

The Weakest Suit - I really like this one, it's right up to the tops of my faves of yours. Put me in your band for the live version, please? I shouldn't like the uh-ohs, but can't help it. And I'm a sucker for paranoid sounding receiver devices. The chords bouncing back and forth instead of charging forward are great. It gets a little stuck in the last third, but catches up to itself. Scream the vocals last time around! Shred those chords and send it home in a blazing ball of joy!.

[jeff robertson]

fuzzbox-less FLORVM nugget. ...hope it's a peek at better relatives yet to arrive.

Hate to disappoint, but my "Your New Dress" entry is 85 seconds of mostly fuzz.

[Paco Del Stinko]

Hate to disappoint, but my "Your New Dress" entry is 85 seconds of mostly fuzz.

Oh no. No disappointment! I love your fuzz tones. Some of the best guitar tones and playing around, seriously. I was just saying that I like where you were going with this tune as well, but usually expect the da fuzz wit da FLORVM. Bring it on, my man!

[LML]

There is a bassline buried in there somewhere. It's embarrassing so I didn't make it distinguishable. But if I ever need a bass line I'll give ya a holler.

[bdog5778]

Again with consumptiion of comestibles...


Gooey Caramel Centaur

Same thing others said: needs a more confident performance. More reverb on the vocals; what sounds like "too much" when you listen to the track in isolation is often the perfect amount for the mix. Dig the harmonies. Good dynamics. Using FLOORFISH (see above) you could get rid of hiss and bring up the level on acoustic guitar.


Johnny Cashpoint

I've had better (from you). Like the fuzztone -hate the riff. Totally dig the call-and-response vox and the way you slip into spoken word. Technically excellent, just doesn't move me.


Josho
Thoroughly ridiculous. I'd love to use this as a soundtrack to some of my home movies of my drunken escapades. Not something I want to hear all the time, but I get it. The tuba is perfect. Good recording, too. Hmm, further listens only makes this funnier.


Kasper
Ah, the dramatic exhale -almost pretentious. Wouldn't work if the vocals following it weren't heart-rending, but they are. Wow, very moving. Loving the guitar noodles, too -there just might be little too much there. Concision goes a long way. I know, I can hear you saying "Dood, it's only 2:45!" Even so, the solo is too long.


Actually, maybe you should split it in half and apply the second half around what is now the 2:20 mark. Then, sing one last verse before the "without me". I also think that the volume needs to steadily decrease there as well -it seems like the guitar stays at the same volume. Maybe if the strum devolved into arpeggiation? Just a thought.

More reverb eveywhere and a bit more compression would go a long ways toward solidifying the mix (cohesion).


LML
The drums really don't bother me here. The melody, however, grates. Too much of the same and I don't think your vocal character is suited towards this song/style. Guitars are fine but it does seem like there's not a big enough difference between the verse and the chorus. The lyrics kind of remind me of "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus (but without the sweet riffage): "Her boyfriend's a d#@k, and he'd probably kick my a#$ if he only knew". Just my take. Sound quality is just fine and somebody here had to get the right amount of 'verb on their vox.


Okay, time to digest and return to productivity.