EightLeggedOedipus wrote:If not giving a mandatory self-vote this week, mine would go to prior champion Hostess Mostess for certain. Cheers to all who participated. Nothing personal if I didn't dig your song.
Mandatory Self Vote?
Indeed, you should wear your zero votes with pride. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.
Reviews to follow soon-ish. Though on first listen Max The Cat won my vote my a country mile.
"Some may say I couldn't sing, but none may say I didn't sing" - Florence Foster Jenkins
EightLeggedOedipus wrote:If not giving a mandatory self-vote this week, mine would go to prior champion Hostess Mostess for certain. Cheers to all who participated. Nothing personal if I didn't dig your song.
Mandatory Self Vote?
Indeed, you should wear your zero votes with pride. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.
Absolutely. Every zero vote I get is just further evidence of other peoples stupidity.
Mostess wrote:
Caravan Ray: I hear Loch Lomond in the last two lines of the verse; intentional?
Yes - sort of. I couldn't actually place what I was stealing but I was intentionally stealing something. I wanted parts of the melody to be familiar but not immediately recognisable. Now you've identified it for me - I may go back and tweak it a little.
I was delighted when I read Eight Legged Oedipus' comment "...Predictable but pleasant melodies". That was exactly what I was aiming for
Mostess wrote:
Caravan Ray: Heartfelt and honest.
Aren't you a psychologist? I'm a cynical fraud! I've never been to New York, I don't have a mobile phone and I only moved to Queensland relatively recently - although I do have a genuine affection for Bundaberg rum, Matthew Hayden and mangos.
(A further confession, I think it would be fairly unlikely that there are any jacaranda trees (Jacaranda mimosifolia) in Central Park - or if there were, they probably wouldn't flower in that climate)
Still, thanks for the comments, once again I'm delighted because 'Heartfelt and honest' was definately the sound I was trying to achieve.
Equal 1: Milkmachine: Says Tom Waits to me – nothing wrong with that. Awesome chorus. Great vocals. This is excellent – very enjoyable.
Equal 1: Hostess Mostess: Firstly – I saw the lyrics before hearing the song and thought they read really well – very impressive. It’s not a style of music I enjoy really – but your voice and delivery make it compelling for me. I’m entertained from start to finish. Excellent work.
Equal 1: Max the Cat: I like this very much. Backing music is great – that moody bass stuff. Your voice sounds great. The lyrics and the picture they paint are wonderful. Like the ending.
Equal 1: WreckdoM: Sensational. I love this.
2. Level Nivelo: Ha! This is great. Backing music is wonderful – as are the lyrics. But forget the quality – look at the length!
3. Eight Legged Oedipus: I like a lot. Reminds me of something – but I can’t put my finger on what. Changes all over the place like a mad woman’s breakfast – but there’s enough repetition to maintain some sort of cohesion. Good lyrics. I think this will improve with more listens
4. Rule 6: “…In the midnight hour we cry more more more, with the rebel yell, we cry more more more…”. Billy Idol comparisons aside – cool song. Vox get a little thin in the chorusy bits – but a cool song all the same.
5. Feldspar: Very pleasant. Sounds a lot like the Lazy Susans. Nice lyrics
6. The Masters of Grip: I would like to like this, but I can’t at the moment. I like the song a lot – but your vocal performance has killed it. I like your voice – it’s the phrasing that’s the problem – all over the place. Nothing a few more rehearsals can’t fix (I am guilty of exactly the same crime this week). Also, the vox seem to ‘stick out’ a bit. It’s one of those technical audio things I don’t understand – but whatever it is, you should fix it.
7. Historyman: Not bad. Efforts gone in here and it’s a pretty good song. Falsetto kills it for me though. Nice try – but not for me.
8. Fifteen Years: This not doing much for me. Shame – I’ve been a fan of previous stuff by you. No real criticism – I just don’t like the style, sorry.
9. Livestock at Large: There seemed to be a small amount of effort put into this. Shouldn’t have bothered really.
10. Prepubescent Canada: I like your name.
11. Magnetbox: Out of time drums, out of tune vocals and truly awful lyrics. And the final result is somehow less than the sum of its parts.
and...Caravan Ray: Apologies for the last minute recording – no production gone into this one at all. Even bits of the melody were still being ad-libbed as I recorded. I wrote this especially for an upcoming song contest in Aust, which called for a “Spirit of Australia” song about a place or person, etc. – so I made Things to do in NY a song about Brisbane. This is quite different than anything I’ve ever done before – because I purposely set out to try to write something that may be potentially ‘commercial’ (sentimental songs about ones home town are always popular here). Bundy rum and mangos are common clichés in songs about Qld – and references to Powderfinger and Matty Hayden give it a contemporary touch.
Even though I tried to write a song that I wouldn’t necessarily like myself – I’ve got to say it’s actually growing on me and I think I do quite like it after all.
I will take all comments on board and re-record this later this week.
I've placed 4 songs at equal first - all 4 excellent - vote will go to one of them - can't decide which yet.
i voted for mik machine, but i liked eight-legged oedipus' drummer's high hat patterns and trashy drums, feldspar's hi i'm ken's super duper feldspar and stuff sound, fifteen years' violin panning, historyman's bassline and falsetto (near vote, that shit was funny), maxthecat's stories about restrooms and total eighties bruce cockburn songwriter feel, and prepubescent canada's song against my will.
Because it worked so well last week, ping pong style again!
Caravan Ray:
Sweet, charming song. You have a clear concept, and you carry it out well. It's a little long; I think you were talking about adding instrumentation in the 2nd and 3rd verses: I think that would have helped, to compliment the minimal arrangement. Other things I like and dislike:
"handcuffed to a mobile phone" is a good phrase.
The use of the word "prioritize" always struck me as odd. I decided that it seemed too urbane, too hipster John Mayer/Robbie Williams/Josh Woodward-esque for my taste. But if your character is a globetrotting businessman (right?), then maybe it's in character. But it adds a layer of cleverness not present in the rest of the song, which makes it stick out (I like the understated simplicity of the rest). Although, if I think about it some more, maybe it's okay: even in his epiphanies, he still can't help but think in terms of self-help jargon. I dunno. All I can say is that that phrase set me off in a bad way.
The word "suddenly" in the second prechorus rings a little false because he's been on the same subject throughout the 2nd verse. Therefore, it isn't sudden.
Other problem: how difficult would it have been for you to simply add a little revirb to the end, or at least not cut it off? I mean, c'mon!
Wreckdom:
Every time I listen to this I hear something different. This time I hear something children could chant to each other on the playground. Last time I heard two businessmen sitting on my shoulders: one clean-shaven and likable, the other dirty and smarmy. The first time reminded me of why I should never listen to Songfight while eating. Though it does bring up the best thing to do in New York -- poopin!*
Eight Leggen Oedipus:
Some great musical moments. Great changes: I love variety in a song (sorry, Caravan). One of the best moments, however is ruined on the "i can't deny" section, where you unnecessarily cut off the end of the drums in the drum track. Maybe it only bothers me because I know exactly how you probably did it (unless it was a mistake), and I wonder if it would have the same effect on people not so familiar with production.
lyrics: clever, ironic, cool. But I take issue with the chorus. I mean, I'm all for suicide, but you guys seem too young and energetic to "[leave] here
the easy way." It would be nice if I could gather more of the lyrics just from listening instead of having to resort to the Lyric Archive (kudos for submitting, though. To everyone else: USE IT, PEOPLE!).
Great production except on parts I mentioned above. I'd like to hear more of your stuff.
Rule 6:
You have some similarities to Eight Legged Oedipus, but some important differences, highlighted by arbitrarily being next to each other. Where ELO is like 90's/Aughs alt rock, you go for the 80s metal, which kinda rocks more, kinda less (more on that later).
Your lyrics, like many of this title's, are observational, describing the things to do in New York, and you, like ELO and most of the others who do that (15, Max, Milk) put your own viewpoint into it. So while you were both disgusted by what you saw, ELO was annoyingly self-destructive, while you got all political, a la Bad Religion or your favorite punk band (ironic given your style).
The lyrics in the chorus are good, too, but unfortunately, your singing doesn't quite stay in tune on the chorus. Of all places to sound good, try the chorus.
Musically, pretty good, though not quite as variable as ELO. I did like the guitar break near the end, though the drums sounded kind of out of sync with it for a while.
I was thinking that this song would really rock live.
Feldspar:
Funny. I can hear pretty much what you were going for. All the instrumentation, backing vocals, solos, could have gelled together to create a unified sound, purpose, and atmosphere. But you failed and ended up with irritating electronic sounds, some half-hearted vibraphone synth acompaniment, and an embarassingly off-key guitar solo. In the hands of the right producer/backing band, you could have created a really nice sounding song. But right now I think it would be greatly improved by stripping away everything except guitar, voice, and some of the backing vocals.
The theme of getting away from New York comes up frequently, such as in ELO (like it or not, you're the measure of comparison, Rex). The lyrics and story are good, and I think would have sustained a man-with-guitar song. Trust yourself. You don't need silly production.
For me, the center of the song is
"there's nothing to do in new york
unless you're seventeen and lost and trying not to be alone again."
It seems the truest.
Prepubescent Canada:
Gotta love it. Kinda. Kinda reminds me of the children's show section of the Beatles "You Know My Name." My favorite part is the funny solo break at the end. Cause despite what haters may say, you have structure. And it works in this case. I'm not sure whether to tell you to try harder next time, because part of the charm is its tossed-off nature. But I'm not sure I could tolerate many more weeks of this kind of thing without any kind of improvement. I'm sorry if that sounded harsh. Nice shot.
Fifteen Years
First of all, hot beat. I love the strings. You create a great mood, and stay consistent in the mood.
I give you one demerit for the girl/world rhyme; a lot of your lines and rhymes are kind of suspect (though deposit/closet is nice), but it just adds to the general trashy vibe.
In this case, trashy = good, Madonna = better. Have you heard of Miss Kitten and the Hacker? Check them out.
Upon my last listen, I wondered if these were two different girls, but they mention the same apartment, so I think they're the same one. At first I thought you were setting up a framework of sung verse is positive, happy girl, spoken verse is negative, sad girl, but then I realized that the sung verses had sadness in them as well. I can't decide whether it would be better if you separated the motivations of the sections or not. Oh well. Great song!
Milkmachine:
you stole max's cat!
First of all, I'd like to say that this song is so awesome, and has so much right with it, that I feel silly critisizing it. At the same time, there are a number of problems that it has, that I paradoxically just don't care about at all. Interesting how that works, eh?
Someone already mentioned Tom Waits, the counterpart of 15Y's Madonna. In both cases, you kept the voice and character consistent.
Although not quite as crazy as Waits' musical backdrops, yours was solid yet deliciously amateur. The wailing horns: priceless.
I would like to hear a mashup of this and 15Y. Just because. Anybody wanna do it?
A few problems:
The first time you're at the chorus, you repeat the chorus one too many times. We want to get back to the verses and music; you can't let the wonderful chorus wear out its welcome too soon.
And the lyrics were of course vague, but it sounded all terroristy. Unless you're in the French Resistance...
Historyman:
I won't spend long on me. I do like this a lot; everything almost came together in this one to create a song that sounds maybe a little more mainstream, as well as groovy and short.
I was playing around with sampling instruments, so I might have gone a little overboard with the strings.
I still really like the line "of all the things to do in New York, I think you were the best." I'm surprised more people didn't use it or something like it. Am I the only one stuck in 3rd grade? No, Hostess Mostess too.
I think the second chorus may be a little on the long side, but I just love the horn break there, so I had to keep it. By the way, I just love those horns. Arrangement by myself. Using principles of voice-leading I learned this semester.
I also would like to point out that Blue said he almost voted for mine. I ROCK!
Max the Cat:
Sooo sinister! I love it! You also sound like Tom Waits, but there's also elements of Peter Gabriel, especially in your singing and production.
The production, by the way, is wonderfully understated. Perfect how after the first verse, instead of chorus, just the guitar plays, foreshadowing the chorus melody to come. The use of the strings: well done.
The singing could have sounded over the top, but you did it so well that it remained in the spirit of the rest of the song.
Great line about teenagers: "live, wear, become"
Other production notes:
The only problem was the snare near the end that comes in on the 3rd beat: a little irritating for some reason. However, I don't really notice it because it makes the song rock that much more.
And I love the EQing at the very end. It sounds like the underground-dwellers are tuning in to hear this song on their tiny underground radios. Great song.
Hostess Mostess:
Touching. It only really got to me the most recent time I heard it. Great use of metaphore, simile, and description. You don't tell too much. You tell just enough. I think it might have made the difference that i read the lyrics this time (GUYS! SUBMIT YOUR LYRICS TO THE ARCHIVE! IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE!).
Your arrangement- fingerpicking and voice - work perfectly for this song. I'm glad you didn't try to add anything else. Your voice got a little scratchy and I think might've clipped at one point in the bridge, but it was effective despite, and maybe even because of, its fragile, yet confident sound. And I like the way you danced around the Title, deliberately not saying it onbeat or in the place where you would normally expect the song title. And your repetition of "things" worked well for emphasis, understated of course.
One minor quibble: must you start with "and?" I suppose if you must you must. It does add to the sense of indeterminacy.
The Masters of Grip:
Despite your ludicrous story and too=long duration, you still gave me goosebumps at the end. Though my house is kind of chilly. But the 3rd person switch worked i n that case. And the gunshot. Yeah.
Your song rocks from the get-go, but unlike many other songs, your vocals just don't quite stand up to the same level of quality. They just don't quite do it. Everything about the song says "Hard Classic Rock" except the vocals. They say "amateur."
The chorus especially, while clever lyrically, is a) unintelligible, and b) not particularly together. As I said to whatsisface above, if you're going to make one part of the song sound good, make it the chorus!
But I do give you kudos for rhyming "arm/come."
And despite my bitching, it was a fun ride.
Level Nivelo:
Cute. Clever. Good structure. Good instrumentation, esp. the descending glissando when you talk about the ball dropping. Not really much else to say, except that you capture the attitude of any touristy-city dweller perfectly.
Magnetbox:
Your mediocre song is completely ruined by the horrible out-of-sync drum track. Your melody is shoddy, your rhyming and lyrics are atrocious. It sounds like you were just making up the whole thing as you went along, based on what rhymed to what. The chorus does have a certain charm to it, and the post-chorus part isn't too bad. And the solo kind of redeems the song, until it messes up halfway through.
I'm sorry if I'm being mean. I think there's some good elements which you could capitalize on in the future. I'm sure other reviewers will tell you that, as wel as what really has to go (Hint: it's the drumtrack!)
Livestock at Large:
The trick to making absurd stuff like this work is having the characters in it (if I can call them characters) have no idea that they are being made fun of. You pretty much succeed. The "blah blah blahs" in the back are very committed to their blah-ing, and the bored Ben Stein voice reading tourist attractions is pretty good too. Again, I'm glad this was not any longer. But it was a nice way to end my reviews.
So.........................
Great show all around. Only a few that I would actively avoid listening to, 5 or 6 that I could imagine winning. Unfortunately, mine is a step lower than those, but I feel like I'm really improving and might one day be at that level.
The winners this week were pared-down acoustic guitar arrangements and character-y narrations over interesting beats/textures. I will decide on a vote a little later. Probably somwhere between (in no particular order) Caravan Ray, Fifteen Years, Max the Cat, Hostess Mostess, and Milkmachine. (and I just might have to get in one of those Manditory Self-Votes!) Hopefully I'll remember to vote this time.
*anybody get the Diesel Sweeties reference?
"completely tramples any established production conventions." -Humbert
"I really have to curb my enthusiasm for flowery hyperbole" -Humbert
[quote="historyman68"]Things To Do In New York Reviews:
Eight Legged Oedipus:
Some great musical moments. ...where you unnecessarily cut off the end of the drums in the drum track... But I take issue with the chorus. I mean, I'm all for suicide, but you guys seem too young...
Drums: are made of samples of the intro to the newly released "Token
Eastern Song," a bootlegger's favorite, by Nirvana. With this new studio
version we get beautiful trashy drums with a noisy hihat. Nice. Unfortunately, it did require fast decay, which means the
samples don't carry through the syncopated parts. Too bad. It's the same
rhythm in the verse as in the bridge, but you don't hear the clipping in the verse because the power chords are so noisy already. I guess I should have at least used some quieter hat samples to fill the gaps.
Suicide lyric: It was going for clever-stupid, and I couldn't resist the play on "Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today" from New York, New York. I think It missed the mark of 'clever' and ended up in 'just stupid.'
I think I'm going to end up voting for Level Nivelo.
EDIT: I would've voted for Level Nivelo, but my sister had already voted for Eight-legged Oedipus. Apparently, multiple computers over a wireless network can't all vote. Or something. Next time I'm near a different computer I'll cast a vote in Level Nivelo's favor.
Drew Tetz wrote:I think I'm going to end up voting for Level Nivelo.
EDIT: I would've voted for Level Nivelo, but my sister had already voted for Eight-legged Oedipus. Apparently, multiple computers over a wireless network can't all vote. Or something. Next time I'm near a different computer I'll cast a vote in Level Nivelo's favor.
Wooooo! A vote!
***
"If possible, you may have gone creatively overboard". -Bolio
EightLeggedOedipus wrote:Suicide lyric: It was going for clever-stupid, and I couldn't resist the play on "Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today" from New York, New York. I think It missed the mark of 'clever' and ended up in 'just stupid.'
Thanks for your kind words.
Oh. Right. I should have figured that out. The New York, New York thing.
"completely tramples any established production conventions." -Humbert
"I really have to curb my enthusiasm for flowery hyperbole" -Humbert
I'm at work. It's a little slow. I should be able to review. I know it's been a little while, but I hope to be able to shed insight upon you. Live long and prosper:
Caravan Ray:
Speakers in my work emac are quiet. I think it's actually your levels though. I assume that the next song will break my eardrums. It's not exactly my thing, but I feel as if the vocal progression is stolen, which could be a good thing. If it's not stolen, great job. It has a really professional feel to it. Story-wise it really doesn't go anywhere.
WreckdoM:
I really liked working on this song. It was whipped together very quickly. I only wish I hadn't rendered the song without the opening sample. It really tied everything together in my mind. I tried to send in the correct file, but apparently too late. Short and sweet. I likes.
EightLeggedOedipus:
The guitar and drums sort of drown out the vocals and dominate. Nice little break down there. This has many good elements to it. Oh Yeah, Get the Clap! This seems like with a little polishing it could really be something. Good job.
Feldspar:
I really don't like this whiny guy-tar. Why can't people sing happy songs? Songs that pick you up or make you laugh? It's just not often that I'm looking through CDs thinking, "Hmm, what can really bum me out?"
Fifteen years:
Nice and short. Vocals come out strong and stay that way. This was pretty good. I really liked the vocals, but they're a bit flat. Great fight so far.
Historyman:
This is not very good at all. I'm not sure who you're targeting here. The music isn't all terrible. It doesn't sound very organic, and the vocals sound like a dying Hyena.
Hostess Mostess:
Sleepy time for little mac. I'm gonna give you a TKO from Tokyo. I work on my tan harder than I'll have to work on you. This isn't music, it's a sedative in disguise.
Level Nivelo:
Hey, it's nice and quick. I'm thinking Raffi. Writing a song for children is great. This, much like many recent movies by Pixar, meshes the line of for children.
Livestock at large:
Hmm, I think I blinked and missed it. Listening to it again, it's entertaining for a second. Nothing but vocal noises eh.
Magnetbox:
More whiney vocals. Cheer up or swim in the depression. You can't meander on the edge like this. It doesn't do it. Tone deaf? Some of these noises are pretty good. The vocals just bother me deeply.
The Masters of Grip:
That guitar is alive. The vocals don't really fit too well. It sounds like it should be really echoey with Reverb and what not.
Max the Cat:
Sounds very well mastered. I like the talking parts better than the singy parts. So far, this is the best production wise. It has a really cheezy 80s feel that I don't like though. I think I've heard this song on the Miami Vice soundtrack.
Milk Machine:
Nice vocals. I like the way they're done and they're in good time. Nice crazy carnival feel. I think that this is pretty good. The vocals seem to lose a bit of the pizazz by the end.
Prepubescent Canada:
Short and without merit. I have to be a fan of this. The little guitar solo at :21 is the best part.
Rule 6:
I like that guitar at the beginning. The vocals are a bit low comparatively. This sounds a bit phat. Sounds like something Danzig would do if he was more of a woosie. It's a really good start, but it doesn't hold water/blood and teeth yet.
Alright. I liked many of these songs. At least two were completely a waste of time. Keep on rockin! It's always so much fun. I'm not yet sure who I'll vote for, but I usually vote for WreckdoM. Not automatically, only if I think it's the best. Nanu Nanu.
<b>Caravan Ray</b>: Your voice is okay, but not great and definitley not good enough to merit making it the focal point of your sparse arrangement. Guitar is nice, from what I can hear, but too far back in the mix and too not accompanied by anything else. I do like your lyrics and I like your sentiment. <b>[okay]</b>
<b>Eight Legged Oedipus</b>: Rock! Yes. I like your sounds and I like the cut of your jib. I can't find too much bad to say about this. I like how it jumps all over the place. <b>[good]</b>
<b>Feldspar</b>: I am really really satisfied with this.
<b>Fifteen Years</b>: Shit is that some awesome motherfucking violin. Yes it is. But your song falls pretty flat aside from that. Cliché¤ to all hell and your voice sounds nice but not suited for rapping. <b>[okay]</b>
<b>Historyman</b>: That falsetto sounds like it would really get annoying after about six seconds but I think it works enough to get me to listen to the whole thing. The cheesy midi-sounding horns are okay at times. The guitar rocks. This is not terrible but also not really great. <b>[okay]</b>
<b>Hostess Mostess</b>: Sparse arrangment. But it works in this case. The guitar is sometimes really awesome and sometimes really disjointed and weird. Singing is great, but sometimes it sounds like it doesn't really fit together with the guitar. I don't think this is great, but your voice reminds me of Bob Dylan so I will give you a <b>[good]</b>.
<b>Level Nivelo</b>: This is just awesome. So true. Job excelentfully done. <b>[good]</b>
<b>Livestock at Large</b>: <b>[bad]</b>
<b>Magnetbox</b>: Wow. You realize that you're supposed to play on the same beat as the drum, right? And also your voice sounds like you're dead. And with lyrics like that, you'd probably have to be. <b>[bad]</b>
<b>The Masters of Grip</b>: Great guitar. The first thirty seconds of this are just great. The part where you are singing makes me wish I hadn't gotten so excited about this. <b>[okay]</b>
<b>Max the Cat</b>: This is just great. Love the guitar. Love the way it builds. When you start singing at like 1:30ish, I feel like something exciting is going to happen. But then nothing happens. But it's suspenseful. But when you finally hit the apex of the song, I'm not sure if it's enough of a payout to justify the rest of the song building like that. Anticlimatic. But great nonetheless.<b>[good]</b>
<b>Milkmachine</b>: Accordion! Bonus points right off the bat. Though I think maybe it's too much by the end. I don't actually see much in this to really love. Just kind of boring. Annoying droning voice. Annoying sparse arrangement. <b>[okay]</b>
<b>Prepubescent Canada</b>: <b>[bad]</b>
<b>Rule 6</b>: Nice guitar. I don't love the vocals, but when you get all high it sounds better, and when you scream it's really good for a second or two. Guitar is okay, like I said. <b>[okay]</b>
Mostly a good fight. Vote goes to... either Max the Cat or Level Nivelo. I can't decide.
Last edited by feldspar on Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
I've never been to New York, I don't have a mobile phone and I only moved to Queensland relatively recently - although I do have a genuine affection for Bundaberg rum, Matthew Hayden and mangos. 
