The Lost Crosby/Hope film? (Road to Hana reviews)

[jast]

My suggestion is for you to draw MS Paint pictures of what you think we look like based solely on each entry.

That's the most awesomest idea ever.

[jb]

man, people here are VICIOUS

[Amelia]

whats up everyone its amelia. thanks for all the feedback on the song. we know its not perfect. our band lyterrally started with this song its just me and my cousin recording at home on an imac. luke the "not terrible" singer has never done anything but play guitar and matthew "the vocally talented one" has just been doing acting and playing around on the guitar. we found the songfight page and thought it would be fun. luke wrote the song the night before and matt was having trouble learning the melody. so we decided to record it together. We appreciate all the feedback even negative stuff. let us have it we want to grow as a band and are not stuck in our ways. we have a couple other songs up on our myspace that have also been 1 day projects. this isnt a plug to get hits to our page we just want feedback.
- Amelia

[JonPorobil]

Amelia - Earnest, heartfelt, but somewhat lacking in artistry. It really feels like the melody is driving the lyrics throughout (and not vice-versa). The lyrics lack subtlety. Nor do they sound like they aspired to it, so maybe that's my fault for trying to make this song something it's not. Not my cup of tea.

The Cthurfin' Dead - Cthawesome! It's funny; when I think of you guys, I normally think of a crisp, clean sound. This is dirty as all get out, and I love it. Interesting lyrical approach. I would not have taken it in this direction. Voting for it.

MC Milk Plus - Dude, this isn't a contest. You're going to win this hardcore. I have nothing to suggest here. Just keep doing what you do. Disco groove works really well. It's nice to hear a good rapper on Songfight who can also sing, too. There've been precious few. The fadeout works too! Voted.

Ross Durand - This is the kind of melody that sneaks up on you after you've already dismissed the song. It seems like a simple idea, and maybe it is, but it's got real staying power. I like the soaring quality of the chorus, as well as a clarity of the lyrics. One of the trickier aspects of songwriting, for me, is thinking up a chorus that bears repetition without sounding forced, and "I close my eyes / and I'm on the road to Hana" fits the bill really well. I'd love to hear this with some bass and maybe a few mallet cymbals for emphasis. Voted.

Roymond - This is pretty short. I wish you had extended the lyrical idea a little more. The intro feels overly long when weighed against the payoff. Musically, some really interesting stuff is happening; it jarred me at first when the drums came in playing a different time signature than what I'd perceived the guitar to be playing in. Sounded like 6/4, then the drums came in playing a 4/4 swing, which caught me off-gaurd, but in subsequent listens, I enjoyed it. Vocals start at 0:53, and the song is over by 1:40. That's a little odd. The lyrics are compelling, but I'm not sure what they're about. Maybe explore that idea some more, or maybe I'm just missing something that you thought needed no further explanation.

State Shirt - I wish you would rein it in every once in a while. This song would be great if you could trim about 1:30 of fat out of it. As I remarked, your voice sounds a little different from normal, tonally. Sounds a little more nasal than usual. The mood-change to that Postal-Service-esque feel during the "Are We There Yet?" part is alright, but didn't necessarily bear that much repetition. Did you use a drum machine this week, or is this a real kit processed beyond recognition? Also, making the chorus "Are we there yet?" seems a little unintentionally funny. You know what, though, you've got your production down to an exact science! So yeah! Do that, but not for as long. Doesn't sound too hard, right?

THB - Nice groove. I can't really understand your lyrics that well. I don't mind the effect on the vocal, but maybe they should be brought up a little. Great drumming, nice riffing. The band sounds very together. This song is pretty fun, but it doesn't really stick with you. That may or may not be resolved by bringing the verse vocal up, though. Good entry. I'd listen to more. Might vote, pending a transcription of your lyrics.

The Weakest Suit - I didn't mind the the "Ha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na" or the weird drum stuff over the high note in "Paradise," but they both get repeated too many times, and by the end of this song, I'm hanging on for dear life. There's some pretty good phrasing here, and your inter-verse riffing is low-key but effective. It's just those two hooks. They were both fairly worthy risks, but neither one paid off. Better luck next time.

[Fortunato]

Hi guys. Sorry about last week. It won't happen again. I'll probably retire this name soon anyway (ycch hate this name) and I won't promote that way again.

Anyway, I'm listening to the stuff and here are my thoughts.

Amelia: Your chorus vocal is much more fluid and flowing than your verse vocal, which is very halting and lacks confidence, in spite of the simplicity of the melody. I like the guitar work, generally. I'd also use more contractions in the verses; "cannot" feels very forced. :42' entrance is badly timed. You've got a good 4/4 thing going on before that and then BLAT there's the next verse. Didn't vote but good recording and decent singing.

Cthurfin' dead: Nice drums! Really nice surfer guitar. Awesome lyrics. Could you turn up the drums though? they just feel a little far back, though well made. The lyrics sound terrific, but ends up feeling well, undermastered. But I'm not sure about that one. Maybe I should just turn it up. Also man that's a lot of reverb. Feels a bit out of place with the whole surfer style you're going for in the sound; like beach blanket bingo in rockefeller center. Wanted to vote but there were so many other awesome competitors here that I just had to give it to someone else.

+MC Milk Plus: Very cool loop. Not sure about vocal sound but that might be the mic. Gutsy (but wise) decision to use a largely altered vocal. Nice bass. That cool fill on the toms is so far back it's barely audible (which is too bad because it's p cool) and I hope the distortion is deliberate because there sure is a lot of it. Again, I recognize it could be my end. Voted

+Ross Durand: Ah, the king of G&G. You bring the bar up really really high dude. Your guitar work is very expressive. Do you record both the vocal and the guitar at once? I'm impressed you can sing and play that expressively at once. Very nice. Voted. The lyrical content isn't really my style but musically this one easily steps to the other stuff here.

Roymond: I really like the electric guitar and the reverb effect. That flute at the beginning is iffy and imo unnecessary. Also man your drums are far back too. Depressing; the pattern is good and regular, but there's just no bite in the drums, except for the crash. Also I can't really understand your lyrics. Would vote with stronger drums, more interesting bassline and better vocal harmonies. Also that ending is pretty abrupt.

+State Shirt: Ah now that's the beefy bass I'm looking for. It complements that pretty guitar work nicely. Cool singing too. LOVE the change at 1:25, nice lyrics too. This is a really really nice combination of acoustic and electronic and HERE are the strong drums I'm looking for. I'm rooting for you in this fight. This song definitely doesn't wear out its welcome and rewards its 5:07 length. I hope I can sound like this eventually (except as a baritone rather than a tenor). Edit: on further listening, the transition from the first chorus to the second verse is a bit jarring. I'm not sure how it could change; maybe the fill at the end of the chorus is just a bit too aggressive when transitioning into a gentler section of the song?

+THB: Processed vocal reverb. Man, I can't vote for everybody; that would be pointless. IMO of the live drums yours are the best in this set. Those good drums got you my vote. You stole the vote from Cthurfin' Dead, so feel good.

The Weakest suit: for G&G you're up against Ross. Nice chord progression. The na-na-na-na-na was cute but I'm not sure it worked. Liked, didn't love, and there's too much I loved here. Sorry.

General fight notes: What's up with all that reverb? Man everybody just reverb'd out their stuff this week and turned down the drums.

Oh one more thing: State shirt, this is going in my ipod. <3 <3 <3

[Ross]

+Ross Durand: Do you record both the vocal and the guitar at once? I'm impressed you can sing and play that expressively at once.

Thanks for the kind review.

I do generally record both voice and guitar at the same time - especially if I am submitting solo-acoustic. I actually think that both my playing and singing are more expressive if I record that way.

[mcmilkplusuk]

+MC Milk Plus: Very cool loop. Not sure about vocal sound but that might be the mic. Gutsy (but wise) decision to use a largely altered vocal. Nice bass. That cool fill on the toms is so far back it's barely audible (which is too bad because it's p cool) and I hope the distortion is deliberate because there sure is a lot of it. Again, I recognize it could be my end. Voted

Thank you for voting and reviewing. Always good to get constructive criticism. The Sub kick drum which crashes in at the beginning of every 2 bars is so hard to mix and I think I've totally messed that up which might be contributing towards some distortion. I think I also over compressed the lead vocal. You're also right about the tom fill which I'll fix next time I sit down to fix the track up. Thanks again....... M+

[Erin&Tash]

Go MC MILK PLUS!!! Great Stuff! xx

[inevitableguy]

Wow, really solid fight this time around. I voted for 50% of the songs, and put 25% of them into my iTunes. Of course, those numbers might be skewed by the size of the fight. Anyway, on with the largely unhelpful reviews:

Amelia - This makes me smile. It's a little too straightforward - I keep hoping for something a little unexpected and I'm disappointed that it never happens.

The Cthurfin' Dead - This plays off the title really well, but it's just not grabbing me in any significant way.

MC Milk Plus - Clever and catchy. I'd like to hear it get a little more adventurous in places, but overall it's a really solid track.

Ross Durand - I think I'd really like this played live. It's a well-writen song, but as a recorded piece, I can't get really into it.

roymond - This sounds like a good starting point for something. I'd like to hear it developed into something grander.

State Shirt - Fantastic. I can't find a thing I'd change in this.

THB - The verses could use a little more variation in the riffing, but it's still a nice little ditty.

The Weakest Suit - I think this needs a few layers of backing vocals or something. I'm just not getting into it as is.

There you have it, folks. Sorry I haven't been reviewing more often lately, but I've been pretty negative recently, and have been having trouble writing reviews that are more in depth than "This sucks, try again."

[heipa]

MC Milk Plus = Nathan Barley

[Ross]

This was nice bunch of songs to listen to - not a clunker in the bunch. I could easily image all of these being in the top tier of a larger fight.

My reviews, for what they are worth.

THB - neat guitar thing right off the bat. I like the verses a lot, but am frustrated to not be able to make out a bunch of the words, then the chorus seems to slow things down quite a bit. Let’s see what the bridge does....I think the looped drums may actually work against you on the monotony factor - and a bridge would have helped. I really like your sound - espically the verse texture and the way the guitars worked into it, but I never really felt the song that was driving the sound.

Milk+ - Your mix of rap verse with sung chorus is good - the fact that you do both well is a big plus. As not necessarily a rap person - the verses get kinda long here and don’t really keep my attention. This is a very well done version of something that isn’t really my thing - but I won’t mind losing to you

State Shirt - This week I am listening without having seen the video (was there a video?). Love the textures and performance as always, and I thought incorporating the “are we there yet?” thig was a great idea. Ultimately though the song wore out for me - I’m not sure I’d say it was boring, but it was a little monotonous - still good on the ears, though.

Amelia - so much right here. The two voice thing is a little odd given the song content, but it ultimately worked, I like the way you worked to vary the melody around the very repetitive vamp underneath, the build works, but I think ultimately in a song this harmonically static there needs to be a “moment” where that is broken for dramatic effect, I found myself waiting for that moment, which never came. I think a break in the singing here and there in the first half could have helped too, then the lack of breaks later in the song could have built more tension. Even so neat song, good instincts - nice approach.

Chthurfin Dead - This is great - your voice with the nouveau surf is a neat blend, especially with the song topic, and the Jim Morrison spoken word bit is good - But the chorus was supposed to kick back in - t just was, can’t you hear it? Bigger and scarier, maybe with a guitar solo and a Roger Daltry scream to kick it off. This really did make the song feel very unfinished to me.

Roymond - the opening is great, I like how it feels slow, but the riff settles into a faster tempo - smoothly and well done. In the end the lyrical content ended up not feeling like enough song for me. I wanted a fuller structure and more complete thought. I mean, I get that the lyrics wrapped it up, but it just felt too fast getting there.

The Weakest Suit - This feels less like an acoustic song than an acoustic demo for a song. That having been said - I get the na na na thing, but it didn’t work too well for me as a listener, maybe it was just one too may times. The bridge change up was nice. Not a bad listen, but nothing that I particularly loved about it either. The addition of drums helped.

[eaandm]

Just my luck, the pool is almost empty and I didn't jump in...oh well.
Anybody want to carpool to Hana?
I've decided, in the future, to only post reviews of the songs I like and in some cases to ad feedback as to why I like them. Hope that's okay.?


The Chthurfin' Dead> Creepy, in a good sorta way.

Ross Durand> Nice. I enjoyed it.

MC Milk-Plus> Nice thick bottom end. The neighbors will hate it though. Like the "wheels and a microphone" lyric.

Amelia> Get the rest of the band (drums, bass, kazoo) in on this and Jimmy Kimmel will sign you in a heart-beat.

State Shirt> Complicated. I'll need to study on it sum, but I think I like it.


WOW, short and sweet, like my ****.

OOps, guess I can't say **** on here...

[eaandm]

HHhhmmm...after reading through the other 'reviews', it looks as though Spintown is the Ugly stepchild this week. Not sure why the whosit he is C&Ping refuses to post reviews here, but I'm thinking maybe I should start doing that on my site, to 'drive traffic' to it.

BTW

My suggestion is for you to draw MS Paint pictures of what you think we look like based solely on each entry.

I think Irfanview is a better app to do this with. It's a FREE download. There is a link to it on my site...

[Madren]

Wow, everyone's really good this week. Reviews finally in as promised

(X) = Vote
(*) = Gold Star

Amelia(*): Like a mix of Bayside and Yellowcard. Some vocal phrasing is awkward (you bulldoze through a bunch of words as fast as you can, aka "IknewI'dloveyou"). In terms of lyrics, you literally bit off more than you could chew. Other than that, it was very pleasant, and the guitar was very nice.

cthurfindead(**): I like it and its (un?)intentionally humorous tone, even down to the little laugh at the end.

McMilkPlus(***): Yum british poetry corner funk. It's tight and vaguely disco-ey and reminds me of DCTalk, a band that I very much enjoy.

Ross(*): Very pleasant guitar. Vocals are the type where I can't tell if they're on or off and it just bugs me the whole way through. I'm going to assume that since that consistently happens with me with this type of genre that it's reviewer bias. (EDIT: I will dub said genre warble-folk, and I've heard it in places like upstate Michigan. I second inevitableguy's call that I would probably enjoy this live).

Roymond: Weird flutey thing at the beginning just sounds like a distraction. I would remove it. I love the oasis/keane/radiohead-like drums and guitar. The vocals don't seem to fit though, either because of the processing or the way you're singing it. Maybe I'm just too trained to hearing a nasally British voice to this type of music. Maybe it's because it sounds out of place to have an octave harmony on the voices.

State Shirt (X**************************************************************************): I have actually been listening to this on repeat all week long. You know the phrase "bringing a gun to a knife fight"? Well, you brought a nuke to a song fight. To the rest of you, I'm really sorry, but I geniunely LOVE this song and want it to win so badly I'm willing to only vote for it to demonstrate that. You get not a gold star, nor even a platinum star. You get a star made out of pure unobtainium. Wear it with pride.

THB(*): I like your choice of sounds down to the processed drums. Might want to bump up the vocals a little bit as they were a little hard to make out at points. Reminds me of a bunch of indie bands that I keep promising myself I'm going to listen to some day.

Weakest Suit(*): Yay! No lasers!
In all seriousness, you really captured the laidback Hawaiian feel. Nice 80s-inspired drum beats interspersed in there. It gets a little repetitive in the lyrics with the "na na nas" and "paradiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...." It feels like this crutch I'm still working over myself where you repeat things four times or so to fill space

[JonPorobil]

Milk+, you earned that win, and probably would have taken it even in a larger fight. Congrats.

[stateshirt]

thanks for the thoughtful reviews and comments everyone. i thought i might have had this one, but alas i was beaten down by milk. nice work!

[Ross]

Good songs by everybody Congrats Milk, and Shirt for a close second - I hope this gets remembered as one of the more solid all-around fights in some time. Proud to have been a part of it.

[mcmilkplusuk]

thanks for the thoughtful reviews and comments everyone. i thought i might have had this one, but alas i was beaten down by milk. nice work!

Beaten Down??? Hardly!!

That was a close fight with some really excellent music all round. State Shirt & Ross... I've had your tunes on my ipod and there they will stay.

and if it's any consolation at all State Shirt.... that's the coolest name out there.