What do you call / What's the diff between...

[roymond]

Q: What's the difference between a terrorist and a female vocalist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: what's the difference between a violin and a cello?
A: the cello burns longer....

Q: what's the difference between a music attorney and a bucket of shit?
A: the bucket.

Q: what do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless

Q: How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ONE, they just stand there with their arm in the air and the world revolves around them...

[Billy's Little Trip]

Q: What's the difference between a terrorist and a female vocalist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

[jb]

Q: How do you know when your stage is level?
A: The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.

Q: What's the difference between a chainsaw and a saxophone?
A: Vibrato.

Q: How do you know when a drummer is at your front door?
A: The knocking speeds up.

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 100. 1 to change the bulb, and 99 to stand around talking about how much better Neil Peart could've done it.

[Albatross]

Q: How many ska musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to drop the bulb and the rest to say "Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up!"

[Caravan Ray]

Q: What's the difference between a puppy and a singer-songwriter?
A: A puppy will eventually stop whining.

[Billy's Little Trip]

Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
A: Drool.

Q: What's the best way to find a manager that really cares about the band?
A: Audition bass players.

[Caravan Ray]

Q: How many of Neil Thun's Doom Fairies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Maybe two at most.

[jb]

Q. Why did the drummer leave his drum sticks on the dashboard of his car?
A. So he could park in handicap spots.

[jb]

Q: How do you get a drummer off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

[jb]

Q: What did the oboe performance major say on his first day of work?
A: "You want fries with that?"

Q: How do you confuse a drummer?
A: Put sheet music in front of him.

[RangerDenni]

Q: how many guitar players will change lightbulbs in the future?

A: none. they will all talk about how the old tube-style ones were better.

[JonPorobil]

Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None; there's a machine that does that now.

Q: What's "Perfect Pitch?"
A: When you toss a banjo, and it lands on an accordion.

Q: How do you know if a soprano is at your door?
A: She can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.

[Billy's Little Trip]

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Q: How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
A: Put it in a viola case.'

For Steve Durand:
Q: What's the difference between a bull and a band?
A: The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back.

[Caravan Ray]

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Heh! I like that one

[Billy's Little Trip]

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Heh! I like that one

Yeah, me too. I thought that one applied to this whole community.