You See My Reviews First, But Not If I See You First Reviews

[ken]

See? First reviews...

[jlampson]

I was going to post first, but then I saw you.

[jlampson]

There's only one I didn't vote for? I don't know what that's all about but keep 'em coming. I'll shoot some of you down next with the next fight's reviews to make up for it, alright?

Berkeley Social Scene*
I like the electric piano but the vocals initially come across very annoying. I find them to smooth out quite a bit into the chorus, though. I love this chord progression and the cool, hard-panned guitar. I love the harmonies in the second chorus but the vocals start to get buried there and in the bridge section. I really like the lyrics and the concept of the song. This is different than what I'm used to from you guys but it has some great elements, including a sweet guitar duel. Definitely a vote!


Billy and the Psychotics*
Super-catchy intro, right away you have me hooked. I really have to focus on the vocals in order to hear them, which is usually a sign that they should probably be brought up in the mix, but I love what I'm hearing. Nice return to that guitar "thing", which is really the heart of the song musically. This is a very well put together arrangement. Loose and fun and playful with a great dynamic. I would like to see both vocals a little more up in the mix but overall it's really good and clean and gets my vote. Thank you for this little bit of fun in my night (that's what she....)!


Caravan ray*
This has such a great feel and funny ass lyrics! I'm glad you had the lyrics posted because I had trouble hearing the vocals. This has a great bridge and "dance-a-thon solo". And I'm voting!

Cookie Blue*
Very cool and intimate performance. I feel like I'm playing shaker while you're playing and singing this. There's something to be said about a one-mic, everyone-at-the-same-time recording when it's done right, and I feel like you did it really well here. Very chilling lyrics in a good way. The recording could be clearer but you had previously stated you're using Audacity and a cheap condenser and I don't really feel like the song suffers because of that. If you do get a better mic or whatever, it wouldn't make the song better, it would just make the sound of a good song better, which is a good thing, too. Either way, keep the focus on writing songs and submitting them, because I like your stuff. There are some points where the shaker rhythm seems to wander a bit but, then again, I did say it felt like I was playing the shaker so that's probably my fault. Things quickly got back on track, though, and that whisper at the end just seals the deal nicely. Cooooool and vote.


glennny*
Speaking of chilling, this has a hipster creepiness to it that I like. How are you getting that feedback? There's a frenetic anxiety to your vocal performance in the verse that fits perfectly. In the chorus I find the vocals to disapper, though. Very unfortunate, because that call and response is great! Hey, are you making fun of my "what she said" joke up above? Damn it! Oh, and we're in psycho-jazz-billy-core-land. I dig the hell out of it and you must, too. I think the average listener would have been past bored already, but I like that you just do your own thing anyway. There's then enough variance in that final chorus to set it apart. I think there could be a smoother transition from the break after the second chorus into the final chorus but I also like the jarring directions this tilt-a-whirl is going. You also get a vote!


Holly Furlone*
Noisy acoustic recordings are something I personally adore. You have a great voice and this basic arrangement is perfectly balanced. I'm a sucker for a sweet pop song and this fits right in there. It doesn't really break new ground or anything, but I like it and would like to hear more of your stuff. Do you have a web site with more music? Also, you get a vote!


Infinity Point Buck
I'm not sure where I'm being taken on this mystical journey. There's something weirdly familiar about your vocals. Perhaps I've heard previous submissions of yours? Okay, so I do like the beats but I am also finding it very difficult to properly make out the vocals and the rap, while far better than what I could do, seems to drift away from the beat enough to really distract me, which is a shame and cost you this vote. I will say this, though: Infinity Point Buck is a great name!


J.A.N.*
There is some really cool stuff going on here but the vocals are very often hard to make out. Even with the distorted effect I feel like there are ways to bring them up and out in the mix. Listening a little closer and a few times does help. Maybe that was your game plan? I think it worked. I do love how all over the board this is with crazy sound effects and it even gives the impression that the tempo is changing. Great use of dynamics. Vo-ting



John Lampson*
I actually had never really understood the idiom of "Not if I see you first" until my girlfriend explained it to me prior to me starting this fight. Once I understood it a little better, it only made sense to write a song about arguing on message boards. The end solo probably needs to be shorter and there are some vocal wobbles from time to time. And there's probably too much high-end in this mix. And I guess I'll vote for myself anyway.


New Image*
This has, vocally, a Glenn Phillips vibe to me. Musically, it has the feel of a live recording at the back of the bar, which is to say I like it. I'm not a fan of the guitar solo sound but I feel the part fits fairly well. The rest of the track is just awash in room sound that it sticks out in a weird way. Although I think this tends to drag on a little as it gets towards the end, I'm still voting for you. Part of that may be that you said the word whiskey and I'd really like some. That's probably a small part of it, though.


Paco del Stinko*
Good presence and nicely-placed solo. I like the call and response angle and the lyrics are very clever. The song is very quirky in places and then comes back to the standard motif, which gives you a great spot to start from again. Though it's not the only reason, the guitar work alone warrants a vote. Kickass!


ShotPounder*
I certainly can't critique you for having a song that drags, can I? This is a pretty sweet punk-metal (do I have the genre right?) entry. I was actually hoping to hear more and was surprised to see the seconds tick away like they did. Since I'm apparently handing out votes like candy on Columbus Day, I'll vote for you as well. But make it longer next time, please.


Slickitude*
That intro drum thing is a bit grating but I like where things quickly go. I think you could have developed this very easily into a 2-3 minute song. Perhaps I could introduce you to Sh$tPounder (their name according to the MP3 file) and you guys could write some crazy ass stuff. Or maybe....drum rollllllllol.....you're the same band? Either way, Happy Columbus Day!


Tall Walkers*
Very intimate vibe - this is your first entry, right? I like it. I would suggest you work on some timing issues with the vocals in a few spots to really tighten it up. An example would be the "slits of moonlight". It sounds like it slipped away from you a bit but that's an easy thing to go back and rerecord and fix. You have a good-sounding voice; however, it sounds like you are holding back and trying not to wake up anyone. Although that works really well for this song, I sense you'll do well to be able to just belt out stuff, too. That all comes with getting more comfortable with your recorded voice and getting more experience under your proverbial belt. Welcome to the fight!

[AJOwens]

I like the cover art.

[Billy's Little Trip]

I like the cover art.

Thanks. You didn't have a problem with ewe, did you? Because after I submitted it, I asked a couple people here if they could figure it out, without me showing them the title. One person said "not if I clam first" and the other said "not if I copyright sheep ribbon".
I got mad and said, it's clearly a female sheep, you bags of smashed assholes!


......I didn't really call them bags of smashed assholes.

[Spud]

I had no problem with the rebus, because the title is clearly posted below. You already know what it is before you see it.

[Caravan Ray]

Thanks. You didn't have a problem with ewe, did you? Because after I submitted it, I asked a couple people here if they could figure it out, without me showing them the title.

You should have used a sheep photo that was more obviously female:

[Billy's Little Trip]

You should have used a sheep photo that was more obviously female:

[Caravan Ray]

Dont want to seem petty....

But to whoever does the title page:
But it is "Caravan Ray".
Capital "C"
Capital "R"

I know I'm only new here - but I'd just like to get it right.


But funnily enough - I played at an open mic last night. A really crap one that I hadn't played at for over a year - I went back to see if it had improved. It hadn't. But the dude running it said "I remember you, you played here before...Caravan Ray...so...do you like live in a caravan and travel around playing at these things? I had to disappoint him and say "No - I live in the block of flats across the road."

[Caravan Ray]

Wow!! What a fight! Not a bad one at all. I tried to put these in order of preference - but couldn't. Really couldn't pick a favourite.

Awesome newcomers - Silkitude, Cookie Blue, Tall Walkers, Holly, John L - awesome efforts by old-timers - JAN, Paco, BSS, BatP, New Image

So hard to vote here

Well done everybody!


Slikitude: Short. But cool. Very cool.
Cookie Blue: So good. Catchy, cool sounding , great vox, great vibe. Please come back
Tall Walkers: Very cool. I like a lot. A real lot. No more to say.
JAN: Wow! This is awesome! What a fab trio you have become!
Shot Pounder: Short. But cool. Very cool.
New Image: Great vocals. Great lyrics. I want to do a cover of this. Love it.
John Lampson: Love the delivery. Don't actually understand the lyrics - but it sounds great.
Billy and the Psychotics: Wonderful. Twee, and catchy. If you were some op-shop clothes wearing 2nd year art students from Sydney Uni - this would be top 5 in next years Triple J Top 100. And I would be the middle aged lecho at your concerts telling 25 year olds that I liked your earlier stuff better. Well done.
Paco Del Stinko: Yes. Too much good in this fight. This cracked me up - in a good way
Holly Furlone: Nice Grrrltar. Good vocals.
Glennny: Fabulous lyrics. Pulling the genre bias on the music (again).
BSS: Opening vox bad. When doubling comes in - much better. The opening line of the chorus sounds like you are doing something to your testes. Despite all that - I like this.....wait...guitar solos...no - kill them, they add nothing. Where was I? Oh yes - I do like this - a simple chord progression with good melody is a beautiful thing. Fix the opening and kill the ending. You are good to go.
Infinity Point Buck: Hmmm...some moments of interest...but essentially very bland


I will download this fight to my iPod and re-listen. There really were so many songs here that could potentially be potential permanent iPod fixtures.



edit.....

yes - I have been drinking. I would not normally write "potentially be potential" in a sentence.

[jb]

who are you and what have you done with caravan ray

[Caravan Ray]

who are you and what have you done with caravan ray

Capital "C"
Capital "R"

[Spud]

Dont want to seem petty....

But to whoever does the title page:
But it is "Caravan Ray".
Capital "C"
Capital "R"

I know I'm only new here - but I'd just like to get it right.

Who does the title page? You do. If you'd like to get it right, get it right:



By the way, it's "Don't". Get it right.

[jb]

[EvelBist]

Berkeley Social Scene
the first thing I noticed was the style is out of the ordinary for you. However, its clear what you are trying for, the era it comes from i can't recall right now but I know it - dammit!!! the lead vocalist is kind of shaky at first, but it comes together later. the dueling guitar outro is nice, the bass is fine, the chorus doubled vocals good, but overall i dont get a sense of energy outflow, which is how "I" (just me) judge if the song was strongly felt by its creator.

Billy and the Psychotics
kooky, danceable and bright. who is it singing this DJRD? That poppish vocal tone, reminiscent of stephani, shoshke, peggy lee - sexy in a "clean" way. However, i wish billy would keep out of it! let her do it - she sounds a lot better without you and probably looks it too! Anyway, i like it because it does pump out the energy feel.

Caravan ray
This struck me immediately like XTC - something danceable, crazy and yet sophisticated. The changes including the harmonies during them, are cleverly disguised jaunts into slamming your lyrical target. If someone was just tuning out the lyrics, it would still get them on the floor, yet if you're sitting at a table you would listen to the lyrics and still be tapping your feet.

Cookie Blue
This is cool because your vocals sound 'controlled' - seething emotion inside, cool delivery outside. There's more going on than the guitar/vocalist too, reverb, the shaker. The melody line is memorable and stays on after the tune. I don't clearly get what it is your story is conveying, that needs to be explained or brought out more.

glennny
eclectic with the eastern sustained note sound, with minor chords to boot. much musical theory could be gained by dissecting your brain. However, it needs to stay in place for more delicious delves into future sound trips. if someone heard you for the first time, they would say you shouldn't be singing. but after giving it try - like beer - it grows on you to the point you need your fix.

Holly Furlone
this was meant to give your vocals a chance to stand on their own and it works. your delivery is polished, and well-received by at least this listener. the song itself built upon the lyrical content leaves a lot to be desired, if your vocals weren't so good the song wouldn't have a chance. but credit yourself the ability to carry it with the single instrument that is your voice.

Infinity Point Buck
this harkens to another battler in this venue - check out Flvxxvm Florvm. their style is similar with the multi-voice-rap but comes across more polished and even somewhat more amusing. the house background is so-so, and the vocal delivery bouncing back and forth from side to side is distracting. I wish the vocals were brought up for easier interpretation, as it is, they are swamped by the background.

J.A.N.
it rolls out then explodes with the first verse and lays it all out in front of you to either take it or leave it. the musical aspects of this are multi-layered cleverly, although the cyborg voice seems out of place to me; the nominal vocalist could have been used to carry the effect just as well. The ending just sort of peters out tho, i was hoping for a more explosive finish - maybe harkening back to the intro?

John Lampson
is that a kazoo in there? cool! lot's of energy here. i'm going to have to try the panned multi-guitar presentation. This has a super cool tempo change to it. The vocals leave a bit to be desired, however, the overall structure lets a creative mind see where you are going and overlook it all since the outcome is very acceptable. Anyway, very enjoyable listen!


New Image
When you say "monkey on his back" it implies that some 'poor' dude walking around with some heavy, burdensome problem in the allegorical form of him carrying a monkey on his back. Well, what about that monkey? It isn't the monkey who has the problem yet we make him out to be the bad guy. What if that monkey wishes he was anywhere but on that dude's back? I took the monkey's perspective here, with the 'dude' reminding him he ain't going anywhere if he can help it.

In other words, **IF** I had a monkey on my back, this is what he'd be saying - to me.

Wrote this after imbibing half the bottle of a Jameson, imagine that?

Paco del Stinko
a Paco intro - with a Mark Knopfler guitar lick~ super tasty. i've got a soft spot for clever lyrics that ride on top of an energetic delivery. the claps in the last chorus come out of nowhere and lend themselves to the ultimate block of sound that is satisfyingly original, yet eminently accessible.

ShotPounder
Nobody cares if a song is short if its good. this is good. the vocals are uninterpretable, except for the title string. However, instead of shooting 4 teaspoons of sugar into your arm, just listen to this 4 times to obtain the the same effect.

Slickitude
Just like shotpounder, this is maybe 3 teaspoons of sugar. I can almost hear the lyrics on this but no matter, the effect this has on one's mood is "WAKE UP YOU SLEEPING BASTARD". Ahem, ok, thanks.

Tall Walkers
I can't tell if you are doing this with a single take or not, because the guitar work is done pretty well if so. There is a Holly Near feel to this, anger - capped. If that was your intent, it worked nicely. Technically, I would leave a little more space between phrases and slow it down a bit, maybe emphasize the "guilt of a woman ..." somewhat. I think that's what your audience wants to hear - the canned guilt/anger.

[Billy's Little Trip]

Billy and the Psychotics
kooky, danceable and bright. who is it singing this DJRD? That poppish vocal tone, reminiscent of stephani, shoshke, peggy lee - sexy in a "clean" way. However, i wish billy would keep out of it! let her do it - she sounds a lot better without you and probably looks it too! Anyway, i like it because it does pump out the energy feel.

FUCK YOU!!!
....but yeah, I'm like that portly old hairy Jewish band manager wearing a velour tracksuit with gold chains around my neck trying to squeeze in on Dee's vocals in hopes of money for nothing and chicks for free.

Thanks, EB.

Billy and the Psychotics*
Super-catchy intro, right away you have me hooked. I really have to focus on the vocals in order to hear them, which is usually a sign that they should probably be brought up in the mix, but I love what I'm hearing. Nice return to that guitar "thing", which is really the heart of the song musically. This is a very well put together arrangement. Loose and fun and playful with a great dynamic. I would like to see both vocals a little more up in the mix but overall it's really good and clean and gets my vote. Thank you for this little bit of fun in my night (that's what she....)!

Yeah it was a fun song to do. I could have finished the production in so many ways, but at some point, one has to make a decision and get it sent in. Thanks, J.

[Caravan Ray]

Dont want to seem petty....

But to whoever does the title page:
But it is "Caravan Ray".
Capital "C"
Capital "R"

I know I'm only new here - but I'd just like to get it right.

Who does the title page? You do. If you'd like to get it right, get it right:



By the way, it's "Don't". Get it right.

Heads are going to roll in the typing pool down at Caravan ray Inc. over this one. Mark my words.

[Billy's Little Trip]

Billy and the Psychotics: Wonderful. Twee, and catchy. If you were some op-shop clothes wearing 2nd year art students from Sydney Uni - this would be top 5 in next years Triple J Top 100. And I would be the middle aged lecho at your concerts telling 25 year olds that I liked your earlier stuff better. Well done.

Lol. Thanks, M8.

...of course we have no chance of winning now, but thanks, none the less.

[jb]

I figured out why Caravan Ray is all over the reviews and correcting his name and whatnot: he's fishing for compliments, because he knows that this week he's got THE BEST SONG HE'S WRITTEN IN YEARS entered in the competition.

VOTE.

[jb]

Holly Furlone: My wife made me play your song twice. (I did not complain.) She said "I really like this. The recording's not so great, but the song itself is really great."

[jb]

ShotPounder: My wife scrunched up her face and started shaking her head, BUT I PLAYED IT THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH ANYWAY BECAUSE I'M SO PUNK.

[Billy's Little Trip]

I figured out why Caravan Ray is all over the reviews and correcting his name and whatnot: he's fishing for compliments, because he knows that this week he's got THE BEST SONG HE'S WRITTEN IN YEARS entered in the competition.

VOTE.

I have to agree. I was pleasantly impressed, as well. Not that other CR songs aren't impressive, but this one is really good.