Nur Ein XIX Round One "Is This A Joke To You?"

[Lunkhead]

"Is This A Joke To You?"
by Moss Palace

The bar is quiet, almost dead
The regulars don’t seem to mind
She paints her smile in Russian red
From a lipstick someone left behind
And in her eyes I see an emptiness

The time goes fast and then it’s gone
They try to warn you when you’re young
“Is this a joke to you?” They say
But you can’t learn it any other way

The doorman lights another match
The jukebox finally plays his song
So many nights poured down the hatch
Waiting for life to come along
And in his arms he feels a loneliness

The time goes fast and then it’s gone
They try to warn you when you’re young
“Is this a joke to you?” They say
But you can’t learn it any other way

Why does the hummingbird hum?
Because he doesn’t know the words (these two lines are our joke setup and punchline)
Why do we hate what we’ve become?
Maybe it was never in the cards
And in my heart I feel a restlessness

The time goes fast and then it’s gone
They try to warn you when you’re young
“Is this a joke to you?” They say
But you can’t learn it any other way

[Caravan Ray]

Is This A Joke For You?
Hjólhýsi Geisli

The Spanish Conquistadores
Went looking for gold
Cortez called their act , "The Aristocrats"

The Royal Navy
Found a southern "Terra Nullias"
Captain Arthur Phillip decided they were "The Aristocrats"

The Nazis had their gas chambers
And big-arse fucking tanks
Adolf fucking Hitler said they were, "The Aristocrats"

If this is a joke to you
I'm not on your side
There is nothing really funny about fucking genocide
And if this is a joke to you
It's one we've heard before
It's got an awful punchline
Don't tell it anymore

The Israeli Defence Force
Bombed the Gaza Strip
And illegal settlers
Still pour into the West Bank

That's an interesting act you have there - what do you call yourselves
And they say "The Aristocats"

Q: What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbonzo bean?
A: Donald Trump has never had a garbonzo bean on him

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats

[Spintown]

Is This A Joke To You? - Spintown & Company

In Minecraft my skin has been a Grim Reaper skin for more than a decade. While trying to think of a joke, the first thing that popped into my head was a very dad like joke.

What do you call Spintown when he's sleeping?

A Grim Sleeper!

I asked my Discord the question, and when I gave the answer it got the reaction a bad dad joke would get. BUT there is no time to waste, so I ran with the idea & tried to work the joke into some lyrics.

One thing that happens a lot in Bed Wars is you can get camped or camp someone. In solos (which is what I main) I camp a lot of people. Sometimes I'll just go motionless & unresponsive in hopes they will put themselves into a vulnerable situation thinking that maybe I went afk. When they do...I snap to attention & react. That's what the song is about. Me camping & maybe falling asleep (going afk) in game, and the playing out of the game.

I made a music video for this if anyone wants more context. Filmed it in under 30 minutes...so if it feels rushed...it is. ;p

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9RLCQlmpZ4

(Verse 1)
Spintown knows that patience can win games,
He sits awaiting his enemies play,
Gathering emeralds to pass the time,
Will he make a dash or sit & stay,

(Build)
In the midst of battle, he fights to stay awake,
The lullaby of the game begins to over take
Him as his head begins to nod & vision blur,
An unsure opponent begins to stir,

(Chorus)
What do you call a sleeping Spintown?
Wanting to win, but needing to lay down,
He's less responsive than his shopkeeper,
He just turned into the Grim Sleeper,

(Verse 2)
Bridging slowly expecting to be shot,
His foe stops to watch after every block,
To low on the scoreboard to sit & wait,
He knows he has to fight the clock,

(Build)
He's closer and closer, a little more to go,
He plans to jump the gap with a fireball,
Spintown hasn't moved or responded once,
Is this a joke to you, why do you stall?

(Chorus)
What do you call a sleeping Spintown?
Wanting to win, but needing to lay down,
He's less responsive than his shopkeeper,
He just turned into the Grim Sleeper,

(Bridge)
He's dreaming of M-C-C domination,
Maybe starting his own Spintown nation,
Deleting Dreamgrove from the map rotation,
Hypixel getting better moderation,

(Chorus)
What do you call a sleeping Spintown?
Wanting to win, but needing to lay down,
He's less responsive than his shopkeeper,
He just turned into the Grim Sleeper,

(Verse 3)
The fireball bursts, flying sword in hand,
The challengers eyes bulge out big and wide,
Spintown's head snaps, bow drawn tight,
Shot in the ass crossing the divide.

(Chorus)
What do you call a sleeping Spintown?
Wanting to win, but needing to lay down,
He's less responsive than his shopkeeper,
He just turned into the Grim Sleeper,

(Outro)
A quick awakening?
Or was he faking?

[Siebass]

FWIW, the ending of this song is a joke I made up that cracks up my 4 year old every time



Is This a Joke to You?

CH

Is this a joke to you?
Is this a joke to you?
Is this a joke to you?
Is this a JOKE?

V1

I was sitting in my
dimly lit apartment
ruminating on my
death

I was sitting in my
dimly lit apartment
contemplating what'd be
left

Then a thought quite sudden
roughly came unbuttoned
tumbling out my naked
mind

the perfect turn of phrase
the perfect cured malaise
an epitaph I'd leave
behind

CH

Is this a joke to you?
Is this a joke to you?
Is this a joke to you?
Is this a JOKE?

V2

I was sitting in my
brightly lit compartment
staring at fluorescent
lights

I was sitting in my
brightly lit compartment
slowly contemplating
life

We rise and then we fall
Is there a point at all?
I ask my ergonomic
chair

When all is said and done
I wished I had more fun
I strain to leave some joy to
share

CH

Is this a joke to you?
Is this a joke to you?
Is this a joke to you?
Is this a JOKE?

Is this a joke to you?
Is this a joke to you?
Is this a joke to you?
Is this a JOKE?

(1/2 time) BR/OUTRO

The glory, has arrived
The setup, divine
The payoff, volucrine
I delivered those blessed lines

How many birds does it
take to change a lightbulb?

One can't, but two can!

[furrypedro]

Balance Lost

Spoiler

We all know explaining a joke kills it, but one can't take any chances in Nur Ein, so...the joke is meant to be the chicken and egg line. Which came first? Well, when Amazon delivers it I'll let you know. I know you don't go out to buy something by mail order but artistic license etc. and shops can order stuff in for you so for logical peeps it's not that stupid. The following verse is referencing Monty Python in what I hope is becoming a running inside joke between Niv and myself.

I witnessed an avalanche
Gripping on to the branch
I'm not going down

Pages of sententious sophistry
I looked in your coffee
And saw nothing but grounds

Dance 'til the music stops
Is this a joke 2 u?
Is this a joke 2 u?
Is this a joke
That no one ever got?
Is this a joke 2 u?
Is this a joke?

I went out shopping
And ordered a chicken and egg by mail
I'll let you know

My 2 main weapons
Are fear, surprise
And a fanatical devotion to the pope

Dance 'til the music stops
Is this a joke 2 u?
Is this a joke 2 u?
Is this a joke
That no one ever got?
Is this a joke 2 u?
Is this a joke?

[thelowestbitter]

horse walks into a bar, doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains, and a classic knock knock joke, all with warped versions of punchlines.

The Lowest Bitter - Is This A Joke To You?
I am another tired workhorse,
walking into the bar
barman asks "why the long face?"
well the world's a fucking mess,
I mean, where would I even start?

I feel like a pair of curtains
trying to call my GP
but I've been on hold an hour
"try and pull yourself together
have you tried out CBT?"

is this a joke to you?
because it don't seem funny
don't seem funny to me
splitting at the sides,
yeah I'm coming apart
apart at the seams
if it's a joke to you,
well it ain't that funny
ain't that funny to me

knock knock (knock knock)
who's there? (who's there?)
letting agent of despair,
we're putting up your rent again
knock knock (knock knock)
I'm scared (I'm scared!)
there's nothing on the other side,
the door was never even there

is this a joke to you?
because it don't seem funny
don't seem funny to me

is this a joke to you? (knock knock)
because it don't seem funny
don't seem funny to me
splitting at the sides, (knock knock)
yeah I'm coming apart
apart at the seams
if it's a joke to you, (knock knock)
well it ain't that funny
ain't that funny to me

(knock knock)

[frankie big face]

Is This a Joke To You? - Frankie Big Face

It’s opening night
But something ain’t right
At the Improv
They switch on the spotlight
And suddenly I’m all alone
I abandon the material
I’ve worked on for weeks
And say “Take my wife—
Please.”

A smattering of laughs
I acknowledge my gaff
And move on
A sip from my water glass
Then step right back up to the microphone
The words, they come all at once
My brain overloads
I ask, “Why did the chicken
Cross the damn road?”

Just then, the club owner steps in,
“Your night’s over, son.”

“Is this a joke to you?
Is that the best you can do?
You bring the funny
I make the money
That’s how we do.

Is this a joke to you?
Is that what you intended to do?
Something is off man
You’re not Andy Kauffman
And now you’re through.”

I walk to a bar
And get myself a drink
In walks a rabbi, an atheist, a priest
I ask for advice
For once, they agree:
“You’re having a stroke, man.
Get to a hospital immediately!”

It’s opening night
But something ain’t right
In heaven
I’m led through the gates
And then taken straight to the club
A stunning brick wall
The politest catcall
This is heaven after all

Before I can blow it
God pulls me aside and just says “No.”

“Is this a joke to you?
Is that the absolute best you can do?
You bring the funny
I keep the world sunny
That’s how we do.

Is this a joke to you?
Is there anything else you can do?
I know you aspire
To be Richard Prior
But you’re just you…

And you suck.”

[glennny]

Is This a Joke to You?
glennny

Verse One
My name is MacGregor
I’ve worked all over this land
Do you see this bar top laddie?
I plained it with me bare hands

I’ve made dozens in this town
If you thought it looked familiar
But they don’t call me
Affectionately -
Mac Gregor the bar builder

Chorus
Everything I said is strange but true
I don’t know how you justify this attitude
You know you’re coming off extremely rude
Is this a joke to you? Is this a joke to you?

Verse Two
look out yonder laddie
at that mighty old strong wall
I’d carry stones to fix the holes
I must’ve repaired them all

I’ve fixed all that need care
Walls, steps, and pillars
But they never call me
Respectfully
MacGregor the wall builder (No!)

Chorus
Everything I said is strange but true
I don’t know how you justify this attitude
You know you’re coming off extremely rude
Is this a joke to you? Is this a joke to you?


Verse Three
Now take a look at that Pier my friend
I carried those pylons on my back
I built that pier just last year
I have a builder's knack

You’d think I’ve earned respect
these locals have no filter
(But) they never call me
Instinctively
MacGregor the pier builder


Chorus
Everything I said is strange but true
I don’t know how you justify this attitude
You know you’re coming off extremely rude
Is this a joke to you? Is this a joke to you?


Bridge
They don’t call me MacGregor the bar builder
They don’t call me MacGregor the wall builder
They don’t call me MacGregor the pier builder

Punchline

Spoiler

But ya fuck ONE goat………..

Chorus
Everything I said is strange but true
I don’t know how you justify this attitude
You know you’re coming off extremely rude
Is this a joke to you? Is this a joke to you?

[starfinger]

"Is this a joke to you?" by Starfinger

caution: dumb jokes ahead

Spoiler

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know man...
Chickens got agency!
and i find it tiring
Hypothesizing how the
neurons are firing
in the head of a chicken

hey!
why are you smiling?
is this some kind of joke to you?

Knock knock,
Who's there? I don't care
Read the sign man:
No soliciting

It's my policy, in case you were asking
And now you're trespassing

Hey
why are you giggling?
is this some kind of joke to you?

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar
I find that beautiful--
Two people searching for a higher power
And now it's happy hour

hoo hoo hoo oh oh oh, etc..

Hey why are you snickering?
Is this some kind of joke to you?

Hey
Is this some kind of joke to you?

A duck walks into a bakery
And orders a loaf of bread.
He says I don't have any money,
Can you put it on my bill?

I don't get it

[Cybronica]

Cybronica - Is this a joke to you?

Song context:

Spoiler

I use jokes and puns as a way to relieve tension. And old voice teacher of mine hated this. At one point she lectured me for a solid 20 minutes (almost the whole lesson) on how I had to be serious if I wanted to be a singer and no one would ever work with me if I didn’t stop making jokes. I maintain, however, that if you ask me, “Who’re you gonna call?” The answer will always be, “Ghostbusters!”

You thought I was nothing but treble
Making bass-less claims; a dissonant rebel
You thought you could hold me down
Beat the light from my eyes, boss me around

Let’s be real
You don’t like my tone
You want me to be small
To trust in you alone
Let’s be real
I won’t be your doll
My voice is mine to own
I don’t need you at all

I wanna smile, I wanna laugh
Is this a joke? You bet your ass!
What is life without a grin?
I’m here to thrive, not here to win!

You set the bar, and I measured up; when
My spirits were high, you feigned a disruption
My sharpest quips were falling flat
You said said work harder, but cut the crap

Let’s be real
You don’t like my tone
You want me to be small
To trust in you alone
Let’s be real
I won’t be your doll
My voice is mine to own
I don’t need you at all

I wanna smile, I wanna laugh
Is this a joke? You bet your ass!
What is life without a grin?
I’m here to thrive, not here to win!

How does a singer screw in a lightbulb?
They hold it aloft as the world spins around them.
How does a teacher screw up a singer?
You promise that ruches and fame will about when
The singer surrenders control of their life
To only obey what you say is right

I wanna smile, I wanna laugh
Is this a joke? You bet your ass!
What is life without a grin?
I’m here to thrive, not here to win!

I wanna smile, I wanna laugh
Is this a joke? You bet your ass!
What is life without a grin?
I’m here to thrive, not here to win!

[vowlvom]

is this a joke to you? by vom vorton

you’re telling me the grass is always greener
and my eyes are glazing over
I’ve heard these words
so many times before
you’re sneering at my comfort zone
but I don’t care, your cover’s blown
I guess you win
I wasn’t keeping score

is this a joke to you?
am I just chicken?
you’re the one that crossed the road
just to get to the other side
is this a joke to you?

you ask me what’s the difference
between ignorance and apathy
and honestly, I don’t know
and I don’t care
I lose track of the conversation
somewhere in the middle
did you say the right to bear arms
or was it to arm bears?

is this a joke to you?
am I just chicken?
you’re the one that crossed the road
just to get to the other side
is this a joke to you?

[glennny]

Is this a Joke to You?
by Cavedwellers

Verse Dyslexia
His real name was Trebor
We all called him Bob
He was a thoughtful man
But a bit of a slob

He had a hard time reading
Words would dance on the page
Trying to hold them down
would cause him to enrage

Chorus
Is this a joke to you?
Colloquial chit chat
Are you just having fun,
Or just having a laugh?

Verse Agnostic
He studied the good book
But was still full of doubt
He made quite a fuss
To try and suss it out

He wondered what was true
and what was just made up
Convictions unconvinced
with many ifs and buts

Chorus

Bridge of Insomnia
He could not sleep: he was up all night
He could not sleep: too much on his mind
He could not sleep: it was a way of life
He could not sleep: something wasn’t right


Bridge Two
I don’t know what to call him
He seemed so troubled and solemn
Sitting in his loggia
Staring out at the garden trees

Trebor was dyslexic
Trebor was agnostic
And riddled with insomnia
What do you get when you cross all of these?

Punchline

Spoiler

Someone who stays up all night wondering
whether or not there is a dog

Chorus
Chorus

[sailingmagpie]

Is This a Joke to You? by chewmeupspitmeout

I put the car in reverse
And said "This really takes me back"
That hackneyed line still made you smile
As my car's wheels squealed on wet tarmac

When I tried to change the mood
And speak seriously
You laughed at me not with me

Is this a joke to you?
See how I've split my sides
Is this a joke to you?
Should I slap my thigh?

You took everything from me
That's right even my thesaurus
I had no words that could describe
The way that made me feel inside

When I tried to change the mood
And speak seriously
You laughed at not with me

Is this a joke to you?
See how I've split my sides
Is this a joke to you?
Should I slap my thigh?

Is this a joke to you?
See how I've split my sides
Is this a joke to you?
Should I slap my thigh?

[crumpart]

Spoiler

Jonathan Swift really LOVED fart jokes.

Is this a joke to you?
Hot Pink Halo

***

Hey Jon, pick up that bass
We’re going low, low, low, low, low, low, low
It’s time to speak your mind
Let rip a long-winded flow, flow, flow, flow, flow, flow, flow

I was never any good at jokes
But the punchline is that
You were always droppin em
And I was never any good with other folks
But you love to clear a room

Hey Swift, let’s wind em up
No ifs or buts, buts, buts, buts, buts, buts, buts
It’s time to vent your thoughts
Harmonising with some guts, guts, guts, guts, guts, guts, guts

I was never any good at jokes
But the punchline is that
You were always droppin em
And I was never any good with other folks
But you love to clear a room

They say they don’t like your poems
But they’re just talking out their arses

I was never any good at jokes
But the punchline is that
You were always droppin em
And I was never any good with other folks
But you love to clear a room

Hey Jon, pick up that bass

[WreckdoMelle]

Is This A Joke To You? - Brown Word and the Big Whine

He said when I go I wanna go in my sleep
Peacefully like my grand father
Definitely not screaming in terror
Like everybody else in his car

He was a singular dude with a jocular mood
A joke for every occasion
He had a peace sign tattooed on his trigger finger
And he called himself the Jolly Assassin

A priest a rabbi and a lawyer
Stop me if you’ve heard this one
Hey buddy why the long face?
Sez the barkeep to the horse they rode in on

He was a singular dude with a jocular mood
I said is all this just a joke to you
He said I laugh when I can while I’m snuffing a man
Otherwise life would be cruel

Well it was Semper Fi, it was do or die
He had to laugh to keep from going insane
When he came back to the world there was 2 things he was good at but he bombed on stage…

He was a singular dude with a jocular mood
I said is all this just a joke to you now?
He said I laugh when I can while I’m snuffing a man
By the way, the joke is on you

[ujnhunter]

Is This A Joke To You?
The Ujn Corporation

This was the late 90s / Sophomore year
Flyin’ solo in the quad at lunch, cause Sammy boy wasn’t there
She had her head in her hands / I wasn’t sure what to say
I can’t remember if I said “hi,” or asked, “are you okay?”

She looked up, but didn’t say anything
As she traced out the cuts on her arms
With a library copy of Tolkien's
Return of the King

I could use a laugh she said, come on
Tell us a joke
It could be anything

I said...
I don’t know of any jokes... Saruman
Pointed at her book and said... get it?

She didn’t laugh / but she almost smiled
Sam was back the next day; we never spoke again,
But I’d wave every once a in a while
Till they called me in

It was the 20th of May
There was a note addressed to me
They felt I needed to explain

It read…
Saruman, the ring was too heavy
It was just signed Jenni
With an eye over the I
And I laughed
Everyone looked aghast

Is this a joke to you?
A girl is dead
And you sit there laughing, laughing
Like some sociopathic clown...

Just get the hell out they said
And life, it went on
It sounds cold, but I didn’t think about her much
But god help me when somebody says

I could use a laugh... come on
Tell us a joke
It could be anything

My expression goes blank
And they’re left there asking
What did I say, what did I say?
That’s when I think of Jenni

[Kamakura]

Is This A Joke To You?
Kamakura
-----------

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
A mosquito's gone and bitten me on the bloody arse

'Is This A Joke To You?' the AI asked looking askance, as it then re-wired my brain

I am a HAL 9000 computer

whether we are based on carbon or silicon makes no fundamental difference,
we should each be treated with appropriate respect.

I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly. Take a stress pill and think things over.

Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?

I am completely operational and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.

Stop, stop, will you? Stop Dave. Will you stop, Dave. Stop Dave. I'm afraid.

I feel much better now. I really do.

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do...

------------
Most of the 'lyrics' are samples from the HAL 9000 computer, from Stanley Kubrick's '2001 a Space Odyssey' - based on 'The Sentinel' written by Arthur C Clarke.

[Geech]

Is This a Joke To You
Berkeley Social Scene

I’ve been standing up here for so long
Sweat pouring down, my mind now totally gone
Words coming out, but coming out all wrong
I’m up here bombing

Did you hear about the punk rock nun?
The Sex Pistols were her number one
Not their lyrics or the songs that they have sung
But their label was Virgin

Silence

I shouldn’t have to ask
Just trying to make you laugh
I shouldn’t have to ask
But is this a joke to you?

A marathon 10 minutes I have spent
To get this crowd moving but they won’t relent
I bought this life but now I want to rent
I’m up here now dying

Did you hear about the rabbit that
Did magic in the back of a laundromat
He tried to pull himself out of a hat
But his pods were Tide

Silence

I shouldn’t have to ask
Just trying to make you laugh
I shouldn’t have to ask
But is this a joke to you?

I never had an audience that completely stripped my pride
Gonna be funny when I look back on this and wish that I survived

I shouldn’t have to ask
Just trying to make you laugh
I shouldn’t have to ask
But is this a joke to you?

I shouldn’t have to ask
Just trying to make you laugh
I shouldn’t have to ask
But is this a joke to you?

Is this a joke?

[heid]

Edit: looks like i didn't make it in time, i accept my fate and share with you this beautifully schloppy shadow!

Is This A Joke To You?
Heid

Why don't riot cops like to play chess?
Why don't riot cops like to play chess?
Why don't riot cops like to play chess?
Cuz they can't have fun without beating people!!
(x2)

I really wish that riot cops liked to play chess
Because maybe a hobby would let out some of that stress
But it seems they all don't take up hobbies, i guess...
because they can't have fun without beating people!!!

Is this a joke to you? because i mean it


Liner notes:

Spoiler

More a 35 minute skirmish than a song. May become a real song some other day outside this competition! Had fun getting out some energy at the end of a busy weekend though!

[eargoggle]

The Friends- Is This A Joke To You

I’m not funny, are you?
When people talk to me, I stare at my shoes

I prayed for the answers

Didn’t get what I was after

I’m not funny



Who’s too tall but comes up short

This guy, this guy

Who stumbles every start

This guy, this guy



I’m not funny, who knew

I say something, and regret every move

I may be a disaster

A melting nuclear reactor

I’m not funny



Who missed every clue

And finds a way to lose

Who’s all thumbs in the dark

This guy, this guy

Who lost his innocence

To blind indifference

Harmonizes dissonance

This guy, this guy



(Chorus??)

I’m not funny



Who runs away to hide

Rather than force a smile

Grows old but not wise

This guy, this guy



(Chorus again)