You're So Naive (Letter To My Teenage Self reviews)

[sleepysilverdoor]

Lyric thread: viewtopic.php?t=12904

[Lunkhead]

Songs posted!

[sleepysilverdoor]

Chumpy: This chord progression seems like it's going to be straightforward but somehow it isn't and it keeps going places I don't expect. Melodically pretty good. Lyrically -- yeah, it is kind of cool how 'nerd culture' went mainstream and what used to be seen as totally frivolous and uncool suddenly became cool. I wonder if it was the computing revolution that did that? Probably. I really liked this one.

Joy Sitler - The melody and structure of this really reminds me of something Sober would write. Especially when you get to the chorus. Maybe y'all mine the same vein. Nice echoing of the melody in the instrumental. Lyrically it's poignant and self-reflective, but in a way that I feel like I've heard you write before. But it's well done? Hard to criticize a song for being too much in the vein of your other songs (that is to say, a reflection on coming to terms with your own identity over the years). I'd say branch out more, but you don't have to if you don't want to, merely a matter of taste on my end.

Phlub - I wanted to see if I could make a decent shoegaze song with my 41ed2 guitar using the extra 1/3-tones that I gained in a similar fashion to the way Kevin Shields would glide between chords using clever use of the whammy bar. It appears to have worked! Also had a lot of fun with the Plok SNES "electric guitar" soundfont and playing with non-quantized arpeggiations.

Pigfarmer Jr. - I like the changes to the time signature that pop up in the bridge. Good driving energy, meets the prompt well. Packs a lot of song into its 1:44 runtime. The question is: do you still spend money on clothes, haircuts and skincare? I definitely spent a lot of my adolescence with hair in my eyes and zits, so I can relate!

[Pigfarmer Jr]

Pigfarmer Jr. - The question is: do you still spend money on clothes, haircuts and skincare? I definitely spent a lot of my adolescence with hair in my eyes and zits, so I can relate!

Being bald for the last couple of decades, being a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy and suckering my wife to marry me so I don't have to impress the ladies anymore (not that I ever could) I think it is safe to say the answer is a resounding No!

And come to think of it, I probably didn't spend *that* much money on those things as teenager. Which could explain a lot. Thanks for the review

[Chumpy]

Chumpy:
I'm always happy when I compose harmony vocals that sound decent, and they're my favorite part of this song. This song just came out weird when I wrote it on guitar, for some reason the verse and chorus worked out to 10 bars each. I would have liked to have made a bridge and solo -- it's not as complete as I would have liked.

Joy Sitler:
This is a complete song, and from a songwriting perspective it's excellent. I love how on the chorus section the vocals get emotional on "I am the ghost of what is yet to come" and that emotion transfers to me, the listener. The production here is pretty stripped down, and some of the sections merge together somewhat clumsily, but the overall vibe is great. I really like the sound of the instrumental lead guitars between chorus and verse, they're reminiscent of some of the early Elliott Smith records.

Phlub:
Shoegaze! I know we both like Swervedriver, and the lush guitar sounds on this track are killer! The vocal melody get pretty out-there starting at 0:45, which takes me out of the song a bit, I might have tuned them to something more consonant. The wall of sound here is truly something, and I dig the melancholy and distracted vibe of the vocals. I also quite like the pretty melody that plays behind the wall of guitar noise.

Pigfarmer Jr:
Good choice for the "you will be OK" theme of the lyrics. I like how you managed to squeeze distinct verse, chorus, and bridge sections into 1:45. The bridge is probably my favorite part melodically. I could tell that it was very different from the other parts, but I didn't catch that there was a time change, so you must have done it very smoothly!

[Pigfarmer Jr]

The bridge is probably my favorite part melodically.

Mine, too.

I didn't catch that there was a time change, so you must have done it very smoothly!

It's not a time change but a simple snare change to the and of two but with an eight note feel. Makes it feel fancy when it's not. I stumbled over the rhythm and it felt like it fit pretty dang well.

Thanks for the review

[Pigfarmer Jr]

Chumpy: From the intro I get a sort of laid back post punk guitar thing but it's so clean that it feels kinda new. And that little riff thing is a tasty little morsel. The verse melody has a nice shape to it and I like the vocal delivery. The pre-chorus works great. The chorus melody is pretty static, following the chord progression but what sounds like a knock seems to be a strength cuz it works pretty well for me. Somehow this feels a little sparse but not in a bad way. Which is weird to say with a full band production.

Joy Sitler: I like the arrangement but I do think some simple percussion or even a laid back drum track would improve it. The very forward (loud) vocal works very well, especially with the attitude in the chorus. It's not something I typically like but you seem to pull it off very well. I like the confidence and positivity in the lyric/message. Works wonderfully.

Phlub: This is strangely cool to start but your non 12-tone scaling hits me wrong in a place or two. It's one of those things that I appreciate technically/intellectually but I'm kind of afraid that my already shaky tone recognition is going to go to hell if I keep listening. But after all that, I do think this is cool and I cannot help but listen again. I will say the wall of sound does tire my ears a bit but that's probably partly due to my overuse of them these past few weeks. Also, the motorcycle has loud pipes and while I use earplugs...

Pigfarmer Jr: Dashed off rather quickly and while I like this song quite a bit, I do not like the mix much. I've already hit it with a quick once over with the new monitors. Not sure it's worth a lot more effort, though. I'll decide at a later date.

[sleepysilverdoor]

Phlub:
Shoegaze! I know we both like Swervedriver, and the lush guitar sounds on this track are killer! The vocal melody get pretty out-there starting at 0:45, which takes me out of the song a bit, I might have tuned them to something more consonant. The wall of sound here is truly something, and I dig the melancholy and distracted vibe of the vocals. I also quite like the pretty melody that plays behind the wall of guitar noise.

The whole track periodically shifts up and down about 60c because weeee.

Would you believe I got that tone starting with a janky acoustic with a custom fret job and a cheap soundhole pickup? Turns out a pre-amp, RAT pedal, and reverb can work wonders!

[joysitler]

Chumpy

Love what you did with the chord progression, especially that fake out on the title lyric- I think you’re going IV-V and then resolving it to II? Whatever, sounds cool. Also loving the doubling on the bass and the two guitars right after that- or is that a 12 string? Once again, whatever, sounds cool.
Concept is straightforward, nerds do indeed run the world now. I don’t feel like that shift made me any more cool but c’est la vie.

Phlub


This feels like something Sonic Youth would write in 2025, and I mean that as a high compliment. The guitar (synth?) melody at the top is super catchy, I’ve found myself whistling it around the house throughout the week. The xen elements are extremely successful. Your lyrics are obscured pretty heavily but I also recognize that it’s a choice that’s serving the song better than the alternative would. This is my personal favorite of the bunch.

Pigfarmer Junior

Getting pre-punk vibes from this (The Kinks et al). “Don’t beat yourself up too much/The world is gonna do it for you” is a line for the ages. The drums are great (are they live?) and I wish they were a little more forward in the mix to show them off a little more.

Joy Sitler

What I turned in was definitely demo material this time. I feel like I wrote a pretty okay song and failed to produce it fully, partially because I was in a rush and submitting after the posted deadline, and partially because I was afraid of going full Mumford and Sons. Maybe I should have just gone for it.



In any case, great job everyone! We sure did fight with some songs, and you all did great. I normally don’t vote on songs I submit to but this time I feel pretty good about throwing in a vote for everyone but myself, so I’ll do that.

[sleepysilverdoor]

The guitar (synth?) melody at the top is super catchy

It's a synth borrowed from Plok, a so-so but charming video game with one of the best soundtracks of all time. https://youtu.be/4mmn7siswJY?si=0EgCxgo4lsvCeAao&t=157

[Lunkhead]

The results are in and the fight has been won by ... Chumpy!