Pieces of Eight

[j$]

Pieces of Eight by Johnny Cashpoint
Hearty Pirate Roars by Marcus "Captain Pugwash" Kellis

I’m a salty pirate sailing on the seas of bum
Cutlass and an eye-patch and a quart of finest rum
Kids today requiring more sophisticated fun
Fuck the Jolly Roger, they want robots and big guns

So we’ll sail away
until your dying day
Until you need us back - Pirates, attack!

We are drunken pirates sailing on the Cyber-Sea
Parrots on our shoulders in hot water to our knees
kids today display a more sophisticated taste
They won't walk the plank when there are cities left to waste

So we’ll sail away ....

Mark us on your treasure map and come to find us when
Buckle it needs swashing by some hefty, swarthy men
You’ve outgrown your robots, grab a spade and stow away
Board a merchant vessel, look for skull and crossbones sway

And we’ll sail away
until their dying day
and when they need you back - Pirates, attack!

Pieces of eight, Seven of Nine,
Sinister Six, Party of Five
Four to the floor, power of three,
Two’s company, where’s the first mate?
Hawaii Five O!

[Steve Durand]

Pieces of Eight

By Steve Durand

!!!CHEESE ALERT!!!

This is intended to sound like something that might have been written in the 1940's



My girl
She's a hit
And to coin a phrase
That will fit

She's like a silver dollar
Divided in to bits

Well there's
No debate
That I dig these pieces of eight

And I can tell you
Piece by piece
What makes my baby
So great

The first is her composure
Her smile is number two
Three and four the mischief
Shining in her eyes of blue

Fifth her sense of humor
Six her spontaneity
Her kiss is seventh heaven
Number eight she's in love with me

Now
You can see
With my girl
How happy I'll be

'Cause I can state
These pieces of eight
Are good as gold
To me

[Mogosagatai]

<font size=1>These lyrics should be read left to right, except where bold, which means that they're read at the same time. I'd've made better columns, but it seems that slightly complicated html isn't allowed here.</font>

<i>Phunt Your Friends "Pieces of Eight"</i>

<b>It seemed nearly midnight of a new moonblablablablaIt seemed nearly midnight of a new moon
when Daniel stepped into her room.blablablablablablawhen Daniel stepped into her room,</b>
She looked to him frail and broken. blablablablablablablaalthough I found her in the afternoon.
Soft-spokenly, she reflectedblablblablablablablaablablaThat no light had ever shone in
that shards of light must have once juttedblablablalaablathrough the tattered curtains,
through the tattered curtains,blablablablablablablablathrough the tattered curtains,
<b>or from the battered, broken lamps,blablablablablaor from the battered, broken lamps,
was made clear by that thick darknessblablablablawas made clear by this thick darkness
hanging in the air.blablblablablablablablablaablablahanging in the air.</b>
Her eyes struck him as daggers do,blablabblablalablaHer eyes struck me as daggers two.
and she asked him without mercy,blablablablablablaThough she wasn't quite blood-thirsty,
"In them streets, how did you find me?"blablablablaI found vicious scars were forming.
He told her he had looked for Freddie.blablablablaShe found me to be quite boring.
He asked her why she'd been whoring.blablablablaThe atmosphere was too disturbing.
<b>“Just give me what you know I want,â€

[lesChaps]

Klownhole must probably yield first to Johnny Cashpoint.

His lyrics were so great that Klownhole did not record their entry. Actually, Klownhole were probably too lazy, drunk, or stupid. But they did try to write lyrics. While drunk.


Gather 'round all ye sailors, miss not all your bitches
Drink down some grog and drop down yer breeches
Mind not me parrot -- it be drivin' me nuts
Give up yer treasure, ahoy! Give up yer butts!

(Is this a chorus?)
Sodomy and pieces of eight
Lights and liver served up on a plate
Sodomy and pieces of eight
Life on the high seas just ain't so damned great

No milk for the rickets--for the scurvy no limes
In the cabins no cabin boys with which to pass time
Me with no dairy and no fruits for the plucking
No wind, no booty, just these pirates all fucking

Sodomy and pieces of eight
Lights and liver served up on a plate
Sodomy and pieces of eight
Life on the high seas just ain't so damned great
(I guess it is a chorus. Or something. Jeff, how's this for meter and rhyme? Stifling enough for you?)

To hide all yer treasure in a great treasure chest
Ain't near so to pleasant as the place I like best ...
I got me my map to where yer doubloons you got hoarded
Bend over matey and prepare to be boarded!

Gangway, ahoy, belay and avast
Prepare for the nine tail with which ye'll be lashed!
We be tyin knots handsomely, to tell ye quite frank
Shiver me timbers indeed, come walk ye my plank!

Sodomy and pieces of eight
Lights and liver served up on a plate
Sodomy and pieces of eight
Life on the high seas just ain't so damned great
(Yeah, I guess that's a chorus or something)