Emo kids chopping onions (Brimming with Tears Reviews)

[rone rivendale]

Thank you to those who have reviewed so far. They haven't been as crippling bad as I thought they might be. I understand all the critisizms that have been given so far. And Appreciate the kind words as well.

My real name is not Rone Rivendale. But that's what I use on mostly everything on the net. I also am known as LordBarros, ^i^Barros^i^, Vash-Angel, and The Suffering(is that emo enough?)

You guys are right about my style being more spoken word than singing or rap. I call it rap but it's slower and less chaotic than what people would expect.

I will try to up the ante on the music, if I can. My strength has always been in the lyric writing and not so much the performance. I used to write poems all the time in HS, but poets don't get paid and so I turned to techno music because it's the easiest to make. The only money I've made off my music so far is when this dude in South Hampton, New York paid me $300 to use one of my songs in a commerical as background music.

Sorry if I'm going on too long about myself. I really just wanted to thank the people who have reviewed so far. So yeah, thanks.

[ruin8r]

<b>andy o</b>
COUNTRY
The lyrics would have to carry this. Or maybe the vocals. Next.

<b>atlantean</b>
CLOSET
Hmmm. Tune is OK. vocals, lyrics are bad AND overly repetetive. Would have been twice as good if it was 1/4 as long.

<b>hot tub combo</b>
AMBIENT
More interesting than the first two. And shorter. Best one so far.

<b>the ill cricket crew</b>
COUNTRY
Banjo! Real? Vocals good. Lyrics not so much.

<b>klownhole</b>
ROCK
Yes, I make love to the microphone. Badly. Jason does a much better job after the breakdown. Would have been three times as good if he had done the first half instead of me. Four times as good if I hadn't screwed up the breakdown forcing Ralph to cover it up with samples.

<b>melvin</b>
EMO
I like the ascending/descending fill thing. The lyrics/vocals aren't really tugging at my heart strings like they want to.

<b>poor</b>
EMO
Yawn.

<b>rone rivendale</b>
SPOKEN WORD
Repeating a bad thing badly only makes it worse.

<b>star crossed voyager</b>
BAD CODE
Gesundheit! Would have been five times as good if you had taken some cold meds first.

[Smalltown Mike]

All right, now I'll post these reviews in the right thread.

Klownhole

I’m really digging the drums here, liking the music, but the vocals need to be a lot stronger to really make this rock. Is that a laugh or a cough at 1:40? Either way it make me laugh; it’s good. Computer voices work in the breakdown. Great organ.

Hot Tub Combo

Nice textures, but can’t hear the vox. I want to.

Atlantean

Everything hear needs more energy: vox, music. Some of the lyrics are a little hokey, mushy. The idea of this isn’t bad, the spoken rap verses with more of a singing chorus, but it needs more effort. Who cares if the people in the next apartment can hear you?

Andy-O

I like it. The verses are better than the chorus, I think. The flute (?) in the background works well with the gtr, and I like the very sparse percussion. The chord progression in the chorus always throws me off. It feels like it should go somewhere else. I also want to hear you really wail at the end of this. Wail. But it’s good.

Star-Crossed Voyager

So quiet. The whole mix, but also the drums especially could be louder. You need more variety in your vocal lines. They’re pretty much the same each line. I like the music. Some of the lines are pretty blunt: “Tears on her face from the tears in her eyes.â€

[posyden]

Atlantean

Everything hear needs more energy: vox, music. Some of the lyrics are a little hokey, mushy. The idea of this isn’t bad, the spoken rap verses with more of a singing chorus, but it needs more effort. Who cares if the people in the next apartment can hear you?

well the reason the voice was quiet was becuz it's supposed to be sad and emo and I figured a louder voice would come as more happy and energetic...so I went with a slow, quieter voice

[Meatwad]

Klownhole
I’m really digging the drums here, liking the music, but the vocals need to be a lot stronger to really make this rock. Is that a laugh or a cough at 1:40? Either way it make me laugh; it’s good. Computer voices work in the breakdown. Great organ.

Heh heh. You said great organ.....

[Clats]

Heh heh. You said great organ.....

By his own admission...Mikey likes the organ.

[philtr]

star crossed voyager
BAD CODE
Gesundheit! Would have been five times as good if you had taken some cold meds first.

Any suggestions on a brand? It would be nice to finally find a drug that cleared me up! Everything I try seems to only make it worse. And the fact that I don't have a ton of money and only a week to write and record the song doesn't help much either. I agree with you though, it would have been much better had I not had a stuffy nose while recording.

[rone rivendale]

Rone Rivendale

There’s a real buzz when the vocals come in. I don’t like the synth in the chorus. In fact, a lot of the music is lacking. The vocals need more energy—scream it, maybe?

Some people seem to like the spoken word style and some like you seem to really dislike it. I can promise you if I sang or rapped properly it would sound much worse.

My Left at the Mortuary entry will be a little more sing-ish. I'm interested to see how people will react to it.

[Clats]

Rating system:
1 = couldn’t finish
3 = slight cringe
5 = mediocre (hence the 5)
7 = toe tappin’
9 = play it for my friends
10 = tell those friends I recorded it

Rone Rivendale

Clever writing and some good rhyming sequences but then some of it became a little predictable. You sound nervous and it seems you’re reading from some lyrics you just wrote down on a piece of paper. Emote dammit...what your saying is good. I don’t know if you were going for the stoic/robotic feel but it didn’t work for me. 3

Andy-O

Love the voice, well performed and the lyrics set the picture for me. When I hear a voice I like I inevitably compare it to a musician of note (I will probably do it again in this review)…I hear Greg Keelor – Blue Rodeo…very rustic…possible vote. 7

Hot Tub Combo

I like the band name…I haven’t had one of those in a while. Unfortunately, didn’t like the song so much. Not my cuppa joe. Lyrics and vocals unintelligible…dying seagullish. I kinda get what you were trying for but it was beyond me. 4


The Poor

Your voice suits the tone and mood of this song (Neil Young-like) and it continues to progress well throughout…good composition. This song makes me want to keep listening. Keyboards and guitar meld well. You get the award for the longest fade ever. I think fades are the cheapest way out of a song but not this time – the ultra-fade done right. Contender. 8


Star Crossed Voyager

Intro and guitar got me hooked right away. Then your voice came in and either you had a head cold or you sing that way. Not making me sit up in my chair and yearn to listen on.
Eerily similar keyboards to The Poor. Lyrics are…interesting. “Nose starts to runâ€

[Meatwad]

[quote="Clats"]
Klownhole

Just when I thought every song would be on the staid side you come a rockin’. Thanks for the change. Love the guitar and the “Ungh-gunk-gunkâ€

[blue]

i'm not sure bum porn beats the "JB has neck cancer" joke and the HANS BLIX monologues.

but it sure is up there.

[Caravan Ray]

Isn't Bhumiporn the name of the King of Thailand? Is Hoblit the King of Thailand?

[hillbilly]

Andy O- Love those lyrics

[ruin8r]

Klownhole

I’m really digging the drums here, liking the music, but the vocals need to be a lot stronger to really make this rock. Is that a laugh or a cough at 1:40? Either way it make me laugh; it’s good. Computer voices work in the breakdown. Great organ.

That was a laugh. I hadn't even read all the way through the lyrics yet and when I got to "the wyrm's enormous rear" I lost it.

[Smalltown Mike]

That was a laugh. I hadn't even read all the way through the lyrics yet and when I got to "the wyrm's enormous rear" I lost it.

Cool: that makes me want to listen to it again right now.

[Clats]

Klownhole

I’m really digging the drums here, liking the music, but the vocals need to be a lot stronger to really make this rock. Is that a laugh or a cough at 1:40? Either way it make me laugh; it’s good. Computer voices work in the breakdown. Great organ.

That was a laugh. I hadn't even read all the way through the lyrics yet and when I got to "the wyrm's enormous rear" I lost it.

I'm trying to decide what was more entertaining...listening to your song or reading the lyrics on the archive. Anything with a Puff the Magic Dragon reference (Jackie Paper) and using the past tense of "shit" (shat)is pure gold.

[Meatwad]

Isn't Bhumiporn the name of the King of Thailand? Is Hoblit the King of Thailand?

Yes. Yes he is.

[FreakGrrl]

"Poor" is beautiful. Really. That's one to be proud of.

[Andy-O]

Thank you all who provided input. I'm not great at reviewing music, but enjoyed all the entries. I particularly liked Hot Tub Combo (I need to learn how to layer and compose like that; Spiritualized comes to mind), Atlantean (something about the low-fi beat and synth works for me... and I'm a sucker for stories), Melvin (with that melodic Weezer-ish rock), and Star-Crossed Voyager, who pulled off a well written song sounding about as sick as I was while recording my Big Yankee Fan submission.
Well done all.

[j$]

Andy O - nice keyboard tone and contrast with the guitar. Drum machine seems slightly out of time with the music. I like "money's tight and the world is White' - i might be reading something else into it than you mean, mind. from about 1.30 I'm getting the picture and hoping it goes somewhere else, which is doesn't, really. A bass kicking in would be cool. Nothing amazing, but not bad, at all. I like your voice, imperfections and all.

Not defined - interesting. Could do with being sharper in the instrumental mix. I like the half-rap. Again, it's one idea explored rather than loads of ideas thrown at the title to see what sticks, which I generally prefer.

Hot Tub Combo - yeah that's sweet, as sweet as a 2:42 intro to a song can be.

Ill Cricket Crew - Banjo makes me vomit. Apart from that, I really like this. it's mad and interesting at the same time - a good combination. I do hope that fucking banjo stops at some time during the song, though. Oh, it doesn't...

Klownhole - are you guys aware how gay you sound? this is great, could only be klownhole (or slipknot fronted by the gayest man in existence!)

Melvin - 2 songs, no review.

The Poor - A lovely intro that goes on a little too long - the Thom Yorke wobbly falsetto is so .. well, thom Yorke. Pretty pretty pretty, but oddly unengaging. It's probably the title.

Rone Rivendale - what I like about this is that it sounds like a human TTS. Or maybe a poet who doesn't really understand his own poetry. It's oddly entertaining. I wouldn't want to hear you doing this every week, but the cold performance adds another level of meaning to the lyric, like you don't really mean it at all, which is interesting.

Star-Crossed Voyager - this starts as an Air-style track, which is cool. Do you have a cold? I asked her sounds like Asda, which is a cheap and nasty supermarket chain here in the UK. Oh that is nasally (and that coming from me!) It's distracting - the words I can make out don't sound so great. 'A spider's ensnared her, no-one answers her plea?' Ew! But a nice little chord sequence. Could do with another to set against it. Just some rhythmic variation - sometimes us stupids like to have our choruses signposted ...

Not the most chubby-inducing fight ever. I am voting for Klownhole, with Ill Cricket Crew coming second only because they had to stop to pick up the pieces of their banjo which I smashed against a tree. Star-Cross Voyager hobbles in third with a sickness.

[rone rivendale]

I promsied to do more detailed reviews but all I'd really be doing is re-telling what I already thought of every song. So I'll just quickly go over what I thought was the top 3 or 4 songs.

Ill Cricket Crew: I like how different this is from the other songs. I normally wouldn't like the whole redneck thing but it was strangely appealing.

Melvin: Both of your songs were very well done, but your Brimming With Tears is the better of the two so it's the one I'll actually consider for voting. And you were my early pick to win this songfight.

Atlantean: The more I heard this song, the more I liked it. Maybe I'll a little biased because of my own rap style but I think this is just as good as Melvin's entry.

Star Crossed Voyager: This is another song that I had to listen to alot to enjoy. But eventually I got passed the headcold of a voice and realized the song is pretty good. With a stronger vocal showing this could have won.

It came down to Melvin and Atleantean for me. And I couldn't decide so I literally flipped a penny where Melvin is heads and Atlantean is tails and it came up heads. So I voted for Melvin. I doubt you will win because you submitted songs in both titles, however you deserve votes for your professional sounding song. I would expect to hear this kind of quality from a $17.98 CD not a songfighter. Congrats.

[posyden]

I never win coin tosses