Straight Outta the Science Lab (WHTT Reviews)

[WeaselSlayer]

You're all being compared to Rob Zombie's "Dragula":

Sevateem - Some pretty nice use of creepy atmosphere and driving synthy beat, but I'm afraid there's no distinct vocal work or lyrics that stand out quite like Rob has done. No line stands out like, "Dead I am the rat/ feast upon the cat." Still the build-up here is nice, but would be nicer if it collided with driving guitar chunk.

Mankind - I bet you've never designed the world's scariest haunted maze. Also this horn does not make up for the lack of distinct vocal work or lyrics such as, "dig through the ditches and burn through the witches." This meanders quite a bit and does not drive like a Dragula would, fueled by souls.

Jordan Seavers - There's a nice sound here. A nice sound that vaporizes like the people in that playground apocalypse scene in Terminator 2 when it is put up against the power of Rob. Still, it is quite nice. Perhaps we will see you on the soundtrack for the OC some day. Rob to this day has never been on the soundtrack for the OC.

Phunt Your Friends - Lyrically this stands up to the Zombie.

Rio Mondo - Is Artie the strongest man in the world on this? Certainly not, as if he were this would not be shot in the face with a shotgun at point-blank range with the venom that is the Dragula. Your head has been trapped under the Dragula's tire and it has peeled out. And your head has been obliterated.

Balls to Monte - This corpse of a song could not be re-animated, its pieces were scattered too far and wide by the crushing power of the Dragula, driven by Mr. Zombie.

Eclectic Sp00ns - There is a similar rhythm/chugging guitar to this that is reminiscent of the Dragula, however it is not as fast strong or demonic. Or loud. Another one bites the dust. Also, it doesn't go anywhere or do anything.

The I.P.A. - Acoustic guitar? In the arena with a Dragula? Surely you are mad! Your cutesy synth cannot save you, either.

Klownhole - People who say the word "blumpkin" in horror movies always get the chop. You try to bring the deMANIC power of the Dragula to this racetrack, but I'm afraid Rob Zombie has a much tighter leash around the necks of the hounds of hell. You fight alongside the best, but die like the rest!

Luke Henley - Shut the fuck up. (nice lyrics though, Niv)

Ross Durand - Oh this is really going to stand up against the legions of evil that are Rob Zombie and his cohorts. Not. Bang! Dead!

Caravan Ray - This isn't 70s horrorpunk nerdy, it's just nerdy. Sexy nerdy. But DEAD anyway! Bang! Another notch on the Dragula!

Johnny Cashpoint - A feeble march in the face of evil. Admirable, but foolish! Fallen but not forgotten. The wheels of the Dragula are well-slicked in the blood of the innocent.

Star Command - Gothy. You're already half-dead, but not close to undead. Stand you a chance against the mighty 4 horsemenpower engine of the Dragula? Nay!

Chuck Chuck Moose - The opening has the ability to shift into a mighty behemoth, brooding and sinister. A world-eater. A soul-crusher. And yet it becomes a feeble invalid! CRUSHED IN THE BOWELS OF MR. ZOMBIE! DEATHBRINGER AND KING OF THE UNDERWORLD RACETRACK!

Melvin - It's ok, no one expected you to make it out of the gates. Especially not Rob. But you did, and were immediately CRUSHED IN THE BOWELS OF MR. ZOMBIE! DEATHBRINGER AND KING OF THE UNDERWORLD RACETRACK!

The Ill Cricket Crew - Zombie rocks the mic better than this, I'm sorry. He's basically a death-rapper.

Steve Durand - Dead you are the one. There is no room for brass in the raging depths of HELL. (This was originally mistyped as the raging depths of HELLO, which I kind of think should be the way it remains).

Big Mountain Fudgecake - A brash cry from the east arriveth when all hope seems to be lost! And yet the barrage is not enough and the Zombie still reigns!

Boss McGravity - Dead you are the one.

WINNER:

[drunkenshakespeare]

ccm- i dont dig

[Thanks, man. That insightful kind of feeback will definately help me improve as a songwriter.]

fuck you

play it for your mom, she'll probably like it, bitch.

[chuckstas]

My bad, JB.

[drunkenshakespeare]

ouch, i was wasted last night when replying, plus i had just gotten in a fight at mcdonalds because some impatient prick called my wife a bitch in the drive thru line and the cops had come so i wasn't in such a great mood so chuckstas disregard the reply man, that was my bad. Unless you plan to hold a grudge and in that case there is nothing i can do about it. As for your song, i didn't have a whole lot of time to write reviews last night before going out. i think the intro is too long, some of the lyrics i really don't like(IE. vomiting), the chorus synth is pretty cool. The change up section sounds like james taylor with a keyboard and i don't like that. It just doesn't really do much for me, the song seems underdeveloped, but then again you might have been going with a minimalistic approach. Anyway all in all i just didn't dig it.

[jb]

drunkenshakespeare narrowly avoids a bitchslap in turn for his bitchy retort to chuckstas.

trust me, i know how hard it is not to snap back at people on a message board. but i believe that, with the help of Jesus, we can all discipline ourselves to resist the urge and let the moment pass.

the difference between a child and an adult is not just that an adult makes fewer mistakes because of greater experience, it's that an adult has gained the emotional maturity to recognize the mistakes they do make, acknowledges them, and apologizes for them.

let's be adults.

*printing this out, stapling it above the door to the forums*

*pats you all on the head patronizingly*

carry on, bitches.

JB

[jack]

thanks dad. now where are your reviews?

[Meatwad]

drunkenshakespeare narrowly avoids a bitchslap in turn for his bitchy retort to chuckstas.

trust me, i know how hard it is not to snap back at people on a message board. but i believe that, with the help of Jesus, we can all discipline ourselves to resist the urge and let the moment pass.

the difference between a child and an adult is not just that an adult makes fewer mistakes because of greater experience, it's that an adult has gained the emotional maturity to recognize the mistakes they do make, acknowledges them, and apologizes for them.

let's be adults.

*printing this out, stapling it above the door to the forums*

*pats you all on the head patronizingly*

carry on, bitches.

JB

And today's word is sanc·ti·mo·ni·ous.

[jb]

well, duh.

[rone rivendale]

These are the top 4 songs of the bunch. I dl'd them to add to my best of collection.

Melvin: The first few seconds remind me so much of "Mickey" that 80's song with the cheerleader. Pretty good song, as always. I think perhaps you 'phoned' this one in though.

Ill Cricket Crew: I'm really really close to voting for someone else rather than Melvin for the first time in a while. This song is great from beginning to end. Robot voices were funny and cool at the same time.

IPA: Very weird song. Good in the first half... perhaps you should have stopped there.

Star Command: There is definatly a space theme here. I like the song, although there isn't anything in it that makes it stand out. But, there isn't anything that would make me skip to the next song either. I guess that's a compliment.

So... *drum roll* I'm going with Ill Cricket Crew this fight. It takes alot to steer me from Melvin come voting time but you guys did a wonderful job.[/b]

[jseavers05]

Jordan Seavers - There's a nice sound here. A nice sound that vaporizes like the people in that playground apocalypse scene in Terminator 2 when it is put up against the power of Rob. Still, it is quite nice. Perhaps we will see you on the soundtrack for the OC some day. Rob to this day has never been on the soundtrack for the OC.

haha, thanks for the comments champ.

[chuckstas]

This Rob Zombie guy must be some guy. I'll have too check him out.

[DELETED]

DELETED

[Jim of Seattle]

Balls to Monte
Of course the big key change is exciting, but I’m ultimately disappointed because it sounds like it’s leading into something very interesting, but doesn’t. So it comes across to me like a sort of drab part followed by a really cool harmony and key change followed by some more sort of drab stuff. That key change is all there really is. Production and performance nearly perfect as usual.

Big Mountain Fudge Cake
Look Ma, we’re on the Internet!!

Boss McGravity
Nice vocals. Your mic is outclassed by your singing. Sometimes when I hear a guy n guitar song, I try to imagine what I’d think had I seen it performed live behind an open case on a cloudy day at Pike Place Market. I can totally hear this in that setting. I think you’re trying too hard in your lyrics. The ambition of the lyrics and the ambition of the music are fighting with each other. If you want to be Dylan, then I’d suggest relaxing the tunefulness. If you want to be the Shins, then I’d recommend letting us know for sure that you don’t care what the words mean. This sounds somewhere in between.

Caravan Ray
I think you’re trying to be all down n dirty, but listening to this teaches me that if you don’t really own it, it sounds like pretending, which is just irritating. I have to remember that myself when I decide I’m inspired by someone who’s really good at their own thing. So bottom line, this sounds like you’re treading in unfamiliar waters, and so I don’t buy it.

Chuck Chuck Moose
See, the thing about not singing is that non-singers don’t sing because they have something else to offer besides notes, such as a great command of rhythm or something else musical. You’re just talking over a synthesized computer beat. When you get to the singing it’s alright. I’m not thrilled with your simplistic lyrics, but I don’t care very much about that anyway, so no big deal. Anyway, it’s too little too late. The first half is spoken and the last half is sung. There needs to be some more satisfying structure to it, like verses and choruses and stuff. This sounds like you were trying pretty hard, so I’m benefiting my doubt.

Eclectic Spoons
You’ve got to be kidding me. Hated it. Boring as hell.

The Ill Cricket Crew
Hip hop isn’t my thing, but I like hip hop when it’s good. I think too many people don’t get that hip hop is good in large part because of the rhythmic interest in the vocals, which this doesn’t have enough of. I think this is the only song that quotes the opening from the 6 Million Dollar Man, though, which is the first thing I thought of when I saw the title, so you get Yay Points for that. Making syntho bleepity compu music with a title like this is too obvious and easy.

IPA
Robots-As-Hip-Retro-Futurism is so cliché anymore that you suffer greatly for it. The chord progression is also extremely tired. You put a great deal of energy into the performance, but I can’t shake the feeling that you think you’re way edgier than you really are. I love the out-of-tune accordion bits. I assume the out-of-tuneness was on purpose, and it works really well. But you’re going on and on in a way that sounds improvised on the spot. Doesn’t work for me.

Johnny Cashpoint
You’re slowly but surely inching your way up in my unimportant estimation. I like this one because your vocals are brought down in proportion with the rest of the mix. Your tune and lyrics still ramble a bit, but since they aren’t so front and center, I don’t mind so much. I love the line “We have technology and you’re not getting anyâ€

[Meatwad]

Klownhole
Klownhole sounds like giant robots crushing buildings. I like it for about 36 seconds. Then I no longer want to hear it. I’m not rebellious enough I think. This music makes me feel like my dad. It brings up all kinds of depressing thoughts of merely hating it because I’m old, and I don’t like feeling old. Not your fault, but I can’t stand the crappy feelings this brings up. Moving on.

No, it is our fault. We were going for a "giant buildings crushing robots" sound. If we would have gotten it right, you would have felt young, hip, and alive. It's probably my fault, I probably had the knobs inverted. Note to self.

[Spud]

I think he meant to say that his dad would probably like it, so you're fine.

[Ross]

Rankings
-great
-good but not great
-OK
-thanks for playing

J$ - I like the opening. I generally like the sound of your stuff and this is no exception. But the song content isn’t grabbing me. I also think the end may go on about 2 repeats too many. - OK

Sevateem – Techno thing. I guess I have a side that says “loops and samples do not make a song.â€

[Caravan Ray]

Have you ever heard When People Were Shorter and Lived Near the Water? .

No - but I know I should never go swimmin' with bow-legged women.

[HeuristicsInc]

favorites: balls, jordan, melvin, j$
these are pretty good: illcrick, bossm, seva, ross, caravan, steve, starc, klown, chuck
has some redeeming elements: bmfc, luke, phunt, eclectic, ipa

a big fight with not that much that i really like.
but i'm definitely digging j$'s entry, so he gets my vote.
-bill

[Gazelles]

I just wanted to say that Luke Henley melted my mind. It's seeping out my head right now. How does he get more incredible everytime I hear him?

[jb]

I just wanted to say that Luke Henley melted my mind. It's seeping out my head right now. How does he get more incredible everytime I hear him?

Perhaps having his head shoved up your ass helps.

[Niveous]

Yikes JB....What brought that out?

[melvin]

Personally, I've heard that Henley shoves Gazelles up HIS ass.