Don't Click Here (I'm Warning You Reviews)

[Dan-O from Five-O]

Meaning: Record your guitar part of the song all the way through. In one take. Front to back. Beginning to end.

THEN......using you're multi-tracking skills.........do the same with your vocals or whatever else you're going to add.

THEN .......using you're editing skills..........fix the parts you're unsatisfied with.

The point is learning to play your song all the way through on the instrument of your choice will increase the likelyhood that you will someday be able to SING and PLAY it at the same time which as I recall was your original question.

[Kill Me Sarah]

Forgive me. I'm not sure I understand how recording my singing and playing separately someday helps me to do them both better simultaneously. But whatever. You can PM me if you like, but I don't want to clutter a review thread w/ this.

[blue]

Forgive me. I'm not sure I understand how recording my singing and playing separately someday helps me to do them both better simultaneously. But whatever. You can PM me if you like, but I don't want to clutter a review thread w/ this.

i really look forward to the day when everyone else gets as tired as i am of your laziness and negativity and just stops even bothering trying to help. that'd prolly solve some clutter too, eh?

READ THE FUCKING POST. TRY TO COMPREHEND WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE ARE SAYING. THEN, IF SOME OF IT IS HELPFUL, SAY THANK YOU AND SHUT THE HOLY FUCKING FUCK UP ABOUT THE REST.

this is how we live in harmony on the internets.

[Kill Me Sarah]

[edit]de-cluttered

[Dan-O from Five-O]

I don't want to clutter a review thread w/ this.

You mean like...(Quote / Quote / Reply / Quote / Reply / Smartass closing remark blah, blah blah)

Yeah like that.

[Del Sesto]

I know I'm a newbie around here, but can't we keep the REVIEWS in this thread and the arguments and discussions in the PM's? I'm looking to get some feedback and read some reviews, but instead it's just about two pages of arguments.

[rone rivendale]

I agree with Del Sesto, although the both of us just posted without a single review. oops.

[Thanks For The Frisbee]

wow.....

[melvin]

Write reviews, you gibbering idiots.

Andre was here at midnight: Nice sounds, nice voices and some cool lyrics. But the playing and singing are so disjointed and out of time, it kills the good aspects of the song for me. I’m going to give this a 7 out of 10 for intention, but a 3 out of 10 for execution.

Cheap Bastards: I like this a lot. The vocal melody and strolling bass line are just excellent, and the overall atmosphere on this is great. The real drums are a tasty bonus. This is a total 8 out of 10. Great job!

Dan-O from Five-O: Great recording, and great singing. Yet, the song is pretty darn dull. I see you sitting on a hay bale in the back of a red Ford pickup truck wearing torn blue jeans as you smile and strum. Hey, maybe that’s how you recorded this. I’m going to give this a 3 out of 10 for intention, but an 8 for execution.

Del Sesto: Just as the world becomes mortally sick of guy ‘n’ guitar, along comes guy ‘n’ bass to save the day! Nice twist. Plus, hilarious lyrics and one of the most awesome song endings of all time. However, this is going to be tough to score, since the overall result is not very musically pleasing. With bad lyrics and a normal ending, this would be a 3 out of 10, but with hilarious lyrics and an awesome ending, it’s a 6.5.

Donut Disturb: What’s going on this week? Suddenly everyone’s a comedian. But good Lord, this is funny! And it’s musically sound, too. Yeah, I’d tap that. 7 out of 10.

Doscientos: Have other reviewers convinced you to drop the huge olde tyme reverb from your vocal track? If so, too bad. I miss it. Still, this is one of my favourites from you. Really cute and catchy, and well-performed as usual. I give it 8 out of 10, minus 0.1 for the lack of vintage vocal reverb. So 7.9. Great track.

Johnny Grippo: I won’t candy-coat it: the vocals on this sound terrible to me. Both the style of delivery, and the annoyingly sibilant and reverb-y distortion. Points for the drum fill at 1:24, but this just gives me a headache. 5 out of 10.

Jordan Seavers: Are you autistic? I bet you’re autistic, and you scream and cry and wet your pants if anyone other than your mom looks you straight in the eye. Well, at least your debilitating mental condition and life of loneliness is compensated for by your freakish musical talent. So just keep making your songs and maybe 60 Minutes will do a segment on you some day. 9 out of 10.

Kill Me Sarah: This song loses me literally at the 3-second mark, when about 1/16 of a beat gets lost between chord formations. It would really have been worth it to practice that chord change a few thousand times before you recorded this. I’m positive that 24 hours of intensive chord-change practice would have fixed that bug, and I could have listened to and perhaps enjoyed the whole song. You have a good voice, so I’m going to give this a 6 out of 10, but subtract 4 points for the lack of effort on that guitar part.

Kweep: This made me smile right away. Ha! This is about two minutes too short. I’m going to give this jam a 4 out of 5, just to compensate for it’s abbreviated and inebriated state. Mate. (PS. Sorry to hear about that family funeral).

Luke Henley: Uh-oh, the guitar is out of tune, which means we might be in for some “artâ€

[rone rivendale]

Melvin: So I downloaded the free demo of FLStudio last week. Anyone wanna buy a guitar? It’s just going to end up as Armageddon tinder anyway.

Rone: Well, not exactly your most inspired track. I normally look forward to your riveting storytelling and sonic slapstick sketch comedy, but I guess I’ll settle for a Melvin name-check. Thanks, guy! So I’m going to give this a 4 out of 10 for music, plus 2 Roney points, plus 17 Melvin name-check points, for a total of 24 out of 10.

Melvin, you can make guitar on FL. All the acoustic and metal guitar I've done on my last few songs have been solely using FL's "Pluck" feature. You just have to figure out the right combo of dials to turn to make it sound the way you want it. For me, it's buttloads of trial and error.

As far as my usual storytelling style, don't worry I'm going back to that for my upcoming "Up All Night" song. I just really felt like spoofing myself (that sounds wrong) with my song this week. And you're welcome for the cameo lol.

[phatcactus]

Johnny Grippo:
Mighty rockin'. I hate rock. I think the vocal reverb is a little much. Doesn't sit well or something. But I bet it sounds the way you wanted it to. So bravo.

Sir Walrus:
This could be really great if you weren't trying to sound so damn badass. Kinda drags on. About three times longer than a song about koalas ever needs to be.

Kweep:
Slappiy-bop! I dig the bass. I dig the shortness. I dig the flow. I dig.

Cheap Bastards:
Way-simple drums and bass are awesome. Space vocals are awesome. General goodness is awesome. I wouldn't change a thing. Way to go.

Kill Me Sarah:
Poor guitar rhythm--is that intentional? Kinda sappy. Makes me hate my life. Thanks, jerk. Halfway through it gets better. But it still feels too long for what it is.

Del Sesto:
This makes me wanna punch you in the face. You can write obnoxious lyrics and sing them with an obnoxious voice and make annoying comments between verses when you when you have more music than a silly punk rock bassline. Not awesome.

Dan-O from Five-O:
Pretty lil' melody there. Guitar's a little plucky for my liking. Piezo pickup? Really nice harmonies. Shakers and tambourines are cool. Maybe I should invest in some o' them. Reminds me of Here Comes the Sun in some places. That's a good thing. Very sweet.

Luke Henley:
This doesn't play unless I plug in headphones. I'm sure that's not your fault, but it is weird. Maybe it should be louder. Fuckin' genius song. "Fuck all the androids...thing to be" is now my AIM away message. Lovely.

Andre Was Here at Midnight:
Swingin'. I wish the piano was mixed in better. The tremolo effect isn't cool. It makes music sound wrong. Don't. The whole mix sounds really sloppy, which is sad because this could be such a cool song.

Melvin:
Hah. It's like, kinda goofy, but slick as hell. I dig the robo-vocals. I dig the distorted bass. A lot. And shit, ya just can't go wrong with synth strings.

The Special Relatives (hey that's me!):
I guess it's kinda dumb, after I listen to it inline with all the others. I still smile when I hear it though. I like the guitar solo. Makes me wanna start a band. With like, four lead singers. Who can't sing. At all.

Jordan Seavers:
I think I just had a seizure. No, seriously, I'm not gonna listen to the rest of this because the binaural organ beats are fucking killing my inner ear and frontal lobe and possibly my hypothalamus. Sorry dude.

Rone Rivendale:
Oh no! The lyrics kinda describe what I felt during the last song. The mix sucks, though. Vocals need more ... feeling. You sound really really bored. I am too, dude.

Doscientos:
Fuck yeah! I don't even know what kinda instruments those are, but they make me smile. The vocals don't really sound like they were recorded by the same old-timey gear, but they're cute anyway. Heh.

Donut Disturb:
What the hell, dude. The only thing wrong with this is the Plucky (pizeo?) Guitar Syndrome. And it's about butts. Did you know that?

[furrypedro]

Donut Disturb: sounds like a good recording, a bit uninspiring music-wise. thanks for keeping it short

Andre woz 'ere: This is weird, I though it was gonna be rubbish with the piano being far louder than everything else but this is kinda cool in a Will Oldham type way. I don't mind that the playing's a bit sloppy, but the mix is soooo bad it ruins quite a good song; all the main parts like the vocals and acoustic guitar and drums (the skeleton of the track i suppose) are too quiet to let the song have enough impact. and then the noodly parts are way too loud making it just sound like a stoned jam. I can tell it's more than that, but unless the mix is sorted out I couldn't be arsed to listen again. go back and re-do it!!

Oh Rone, what are we gonna do with you. after your 'Don't You' I thought you were on a one-way street to talent-land but this sounds like stuff you were doing months ago. It's slightly amusing, but it's never gonna be funny outside of the SF context. btw, you can sing the words in time while singing lyrics about it being out of time, it won't make you sound stupid (check 'We're not gonna make it' by P.U.S.A.). Ok, hopefully this has helped you get the poking-fun-at-yourself out of your system (some is good, too much is a bit sad) so now you can get on to writing that bangin tune we've all been waiting for. Go!

Special relatives: Sounds like a not-as-good Carol Cleveland sings, which is still pretty cool. I enjoyed that, that false ending 2/3 in had some good chords in it.

Cheap Bastards: when i listen to songs for the first time usually i'm listening to the drums, which means that i really like the Appleseed Cast, and really don't like this. the vocals are pretty well done and this has some atmosphere but it's hitting none of my buttons, sorry.

Doscientos: I like the Uke and fiddle action going on here, your instrumentation is always really cool. Unfortunately this is just way too repetitive for me, the vocal melody does the same thing through the whole song. It's not very long and gets boring quickly which can't be a good sign. with more structural variation in your songs and I'd love you guys.

Sir Walrus: I quite like that reverby guitar loop in the background, the beats ok too. but too long, not enough variation, which is sort of to be expected but I don't think the rap's enough to carry it for so long.

KMS: I know you don't like being in fights with Mr Seavers but I think it's going to be Mr Henley that steals your potential votes here. So you're not going to win any points for production but this song has its moments, it definitely warrants a few listens in order to be able to appreciate it fully (I always think it's a real shame that songs like this suffer from the fact that people only get a week to listen to them because I find growers and slow-burners are usually much better really than instant hits). double vox and harmonica are nice touches, the balance isn't quite right though - the guitar could be a bit louder.

Jordan Seavers: that 3rd chord saves this from sounding too much like your others. I like the glitchiness in the beat. It's nice but it doesn't really seem to go anywhere; next week i want you to write an epic or some thrash metal or something that doesn't sound like Grandaddy. i want i want i want (your song is good).

Del Sesto: well done for writing a song on a bass. I like the maniacal laughter and the way you kept the mistake in. have you seen that Kids in the Hall sketch about the bass player? this reminded me of that. Welcome to songfight

Danno5o: that opening riff was really cool, it made me think (for a split second) of this Hymie's Basement track called 'america two' which is ace. then the song changes completely, more what I expected (in a really boring way) but it's well recorded and pretty cool in a happy, laid-back way. well done

Luke: I love this track, the way I was able to sing along with it by the last chorus. you've not lost your knack for writing simple tunes with totally weird lyrics that manage to contain more emotion than the mountain of melodramatic dross that gets released every week. The bit where you rhyme 'metal' with 'devil' in the middle of the line is a really nice touch.

the multi-talented Kweep: This is good enough to be released i think. it'd sound right at home on a sampler tucked in-between DJ Format and some Sol. This is like the hip-hop equivalent of Big Mountain Fudge Cake. really good and really short. (respect for the removable fret patent thing too, totally rad, just thought i'd slip that in there).

Melvin: That string intro sounds a bit like History by the Verve until the vocals come in. The rest of it reminds me of the Pet Shop boys. A most admirable attempt at genre-hopping here, even FL cannot prevent your vocal dexterity from showing, and that is arguably your biggest attribute. really well done

Johnny Grippo: this is too noisy and nasty sounding for me. no dig, sorry.

I'll probably be listening to (or playing) Luke's track for longer but I feel like voting for Kweep for trying harder

[j$]

That's fine but please take 'Eat our noise' out of your signature - pussy.

[furrypedro]

if you could make noise like Let Our Enemies Beware or Honey Ride Me a Goat I'd have voted for you outright

[j$]

Ah well - if you mean 'I don't like this noise' then say so; don't say 'it's too noisy and nasty for me'. Unless of course the two bands you mention make noise that isn't noisy ...

(ps I never said this was noise, or nasty. I don't think it is, particularly.)

[furrypedro]

let's try again

Johnny Grippo
--chords--
--singing style--
--structure--

++some of the lyrics++

//noise//

overall, I don't like this noise

[j$]

Perfect. (although the school report style of reviewing is not one I find particularly useful. Perhaps you could do me a nice picture instead? )
j$

[Kweep]

melvin, phat, pedro: thanks tons for the positivenessocity, fellas.

[Dan-O from Five-O]

Dan-O from Five-O:
Guitar's a little plucky for my liking. Piezo pickup?

Actually no I don't like the Piezo sound either. I recorded the guitars with a couple of really nice condensors in an X/Y configuration. Is it the 12 string that you're hearing maybe? Maybe I mixed it with too much high end on it. I'll give it another listen. Thanks for the review.

[boltoph]

Andre Was Here At Midnight
+++ the trem electric guitar and the old sounding ragtime sort of piano tone +++
--- vocals could use a little more work getting them in tune---
/// could go for a bridge section ///
+++ one way to go and many ways to die +++

Cheap Bastards
+++ vocal melody, esp the changes on "single ..taste" +++
/// mockingbird pie...I'm just ignorant of this meaning ///
+++ lyrics, painting gold on cobblestones +++
--- looking for a big chorus of some kind to hook this in and bring the random wandering to a clear point ---

Dan-O From Five-O
+++ acoustic guitar melody +++
/// wanted to hear a build up to a chorus ///
+++ vocal harmonies, nostalgic vibe +++
+++ classic rock +++

Intro <Unknown>
+++ show tune potential +++
+++ fast talking +++
--- bare, rough take ---
/// overall, more impressive than it lets on to be ///

Donut Disturb
+++ vocal melodies, harmonies +++
--- annoying chorus line "respect my butt" ---

Doscientos
+++ authentic olde tyme vibe! +++
+++ perfect spot for little solo break (mandolin, I think) +++

j$
--- vocals trying to be "tough" ---
/// "big baby" whiny vocal inspires gut wrenching laughter ///
--- weak guitar parts, out of tune guitar ---
--- vocal stylings, structure, overall ---

Jordan Seavers
+++ suspense, ambience of the organs in the beginning +++
+++ bridge part +++
--- want to hear larger, breathier vocals with harmonies ---
+++ overall +++

Kill Me Sarah
+++ intro and verse emotion, varying structure of whole song +++
+++ vocal doubling parts here and there +++
--- rhythm of the acoustic guitar picking falters ---
--- needs more chordal development and work on the recording, esp. the vocals ---

Kweep
+++ first half of the song grooving me right out +++
--- too short, would've liked a chorus with vocal skills ---

Luke Henley
+++ lyrics, tipsy in the city, comparison to mountain +++
/// androids ///
+++ structure and vocal / lyric development +++
+++ again, love the lyrics +++

Melvin
+++ varying vocal lines +++
+++ synth parts, development and variance of such +++
+++ super tight vocals +++
/// singer should consider taking a valium ///
/// spoken parts ///
+++ vocal chorus catch, interesting "bass" part, originality and indie sound +++
+++ entry of heavy guitars +++
+++ overall +++
A+, excellent seller, top notch.

Rone Rivendale
+++ rhythm on "I'm...warning you", humour +++
--- you've described it in the lyrics already ---

Sir Walrus
+++ storyline, lyrics +++
--- canned backbeat ---

Special Relatives
+++ vocal phrasing turns (don't know where my brother/mother went) +++
/// group vocal the whole time...might want to hear soloist at times, then accompaniment ///
+++ instrumentation, antique vibe, chord progression +++

top: Melvin, Jordan Seavers, Luke Henley, Doscientos, Dan-O From Five-O
bottom: Johnny Dollar, Rone Rivendale, Sir Walrus, Kill Me Sarah

I'm probably going to vote Melvin because it's a tight, interesting piece that still hooks. Tough call though between my top three.

[Kill Me Sarah]

work on the recording, esp. the vocals ---

Anything in particular? Volume, panning? Or just everything in general?

[furrypedro]

Perhaps you could do me a nice picture instead?

exhibit a)

exhibit b)

your song made me feel like painting fences turquoise at night