I meant to write reviews, but... (It Never Happened review)

[Stevie Windsor]

Chin Music / J.Compare 30 seconds of silence, is there anything coming? Ah here we go. I really like the vocal and the 60s vibe, but the overall playing feels sloppy and out of time.

Wages Another good song and vocal a bit spoilt with out of time guitar playing. Nice instrumental section though. Two songs in, this is looking a good fight.

Beatnik Turtle Catchy, if a tad irritating, tune.

Ben Wong Its hard not to be influenced by the poor quality of the recording here. The tune is okay, the vocals go a bit haywire towards the songs end. Similar chorus to Wages.

Steve Durand A crazy mixture of Umpah and Yee Hah. Love it!

Somewhere Off The Left Coast Yeah this is okay. Like the guitar playing and minimalist style.

Motor Monkeys Us. Our attempt to do Johnny Rotten fronting Led Zep in a 7/8 stylee...with a bit of the Fast Show added in for luck.

Kweep Love the heavy drums and there's a great riff in there. Chorus doesn't grab me as much as the verse. The whole feel of the song is that you keep waiting for it to go into overdrive but it never quite gets there.

Future Boy As you'd expect, a good lad back song with a great melody, well sung. The pads are a little bit overpowering in the mix.

The Dark Side Of Archaeology Great opening and build up. Vocals too low in the mix. A bit of a mess to the mix in places with the guitars not quite gelling together. A bit tighter and this could have been fab.

The Sober Irishman The strongest song so far by far. Nothing to fault here, brilliant!

Gangway Annapolis Nice & melancholic, if a bit slight, tune. It works best when the vocal isn't directly mirroring the piano.

The Older Brothers Quality production and great playing. Not completely sold on some sections of the song and I can't quite work out why. I think its the vocals. Abrupt ending jars a bit.

@Eclectic Spoons You sound like a nerdy Ian Curtis. Bizarre. but strangely intriguing.

Ray Negro This is good, but it would been even better if you'd pushed it into a bit more funked up Prince and a bit less rock.

Jeff Travis Henderson Good if predictable tune, helped by good lyrical twists. I'd have brought the end section at around 2.19 forward and made it more part of the song.

The Dangers Short and sharp Rock with a suitably mad vocal.

Max The Cat Well, what can I say, proper professional job and all. Superb song, epic sounding with out getting too pompous. Sometimes I get biased against these slick polished recordings but in this case it works too well to argue.

Spy Vs Pie ...and a cool short tune to end with.

We seem to have ended up in the middle of one of the strongest fights with a real mixture of styles and hardly any weak entries. May be hard for us in terms of votes, but was great fun to review.

1 Max The Cat (vote)
2 Sober Irishman
3 Steve Durand
4 Wages
5 The Dangers
6 Future Boy
7 Gangway Annapolis
8 Spy Vs Pie
9 Chin Music
10 The Dark Side Of Archaeology

[Kweep]

turtle - i really like this. so damn kitschy... vote?

ben wong - decent... good playing, singing, chorus, sentiment (very familiar )... the verses are a little iffy lyric wise (i think... it was pretty hard to hear em...)

chin music - kinda quirky... i can't say i really like it but i can't hit the next button either kinda sounds like a fight within the fight... ya know where the drums are fighting against everything else in the tune.

dangers - another sweet dangers tune! i know who your voice reminds me of... the dude from 'the hives'... yeah, i dig this one a lot. vote?

dark side of diggin' - very cool sounds... i dig the drum programming... cool changes.

@spoons - ouch... maybe a spoken vocal? it kinda feels like that's what the music warrants and maybe why pitch is so hard to hold on to? pretty interesting sonically... cool sounds.

future boy - man, your voice sounds totally like steve vai on the 'flexable' record. very cool song. great chords and singin' and lyrics. vote?

G-way Annapolis - Sounds like this would be totally at home in musical theater. not my favorite style, but this works for what it is.

j. t. henderson - good production. great voice. i can't put my finger on why this doesn't do anything for me, though.

kweep - me.

max le chat - i love the positivity. feels totally neil diamond... very cool production and sound... great build to the choruses.

motor monkeys - sweet! this is really engaging and interesting. the choruses are totally p.i.l. nice production & performances. vote?

older brothers - pretty interesting. loads of potential. the acoustic guitar is soooo brittle, though. the lyrics and vocals are iffy. the riffs are really cool.

ray negro - yes! really nice vibe... i got no idea what the hell yer sayin' but i don't care... vote?

sober - crisp production on a flat song. maybe it's stylistic but i just can't get into it... and even though it was on purpose, the vox distortion sounds like an accident... a bad accident...

left coast - really fat guitar tone... decent vox... needs a rythm section to kick in big time...

spy vs. pie - over all decent vibe and tune... i've heard the style done much better though.

little stevie durand - i'm not diggin the guitar tone at all (or the tuning)... i like the tune otherwise... a lot... this is really fun... great lyrics! con-fab-u-la-ti-on! vote?

wages - decent sound... you still need a band, bro. other than that, not much to say... not grabbin' me.

well, some really good stuff in this fight... not sure who's gettin' m' vote yet.

[Sober]

Neglect?

Yeah, that looks real neglectful.

Steve Durand, step right up and claim your cover. I went for a Sam Phillips Sun Records production. Great tune, man!

[Kweep]

sweet cover, sober!

[EDIT - it's important to note that i prefer steve's version of his song 'cause the quirk is king... but your cover is darn cool.]

[Ray Negro]

Hello fighters!

Reviewing myself:

I think it´s time to say something. I´m fighting from Spain, i´m spanish and my teacher of english was no other than the songs (at school i only study french). I imagine that understand my lyrics can be too hard for people who only wants fun. Forget it. Please, look only for his intentions, intonation, timbre and similar, and search for the general feeling. If it is hard, dont try to understand. This message can be used as a apology for that, but i´ll keep on fighting anyway. I´ll try to be less offensive with the english language next time. Mmmmm (thinkin´) I can write the lyrics in the mp3 file tag. Next time too.

Adiós.

[max the cat]

Yeah, that looks real neglectful.

I am looking for enlightnment not oblique defensive answers. After re-reading your review as you so ordered I found nothing there to enlighten me but your reference to neglect.So let me start again and ask why do you want hair on your vocal? So it cuts through 'cause it sounds cool, because your uncle recomended it? A striaght ansswer would be nice. You are very generous with your technical knowlege why so stingy here? Jeez lighten the f up.

[Steve Durand]

Sober,
Thanks! That's great. I'm glad you thought enough of my song to cover it.

Steve

[Kweep]

Ray

Espero que usted sabe que quise su canción y no tuve interés en los líricos. trabajo bueno

yay for http://www.freetranslation.com

[Sober]

When I said I neglected things, I was referring to minor mastering stuff, because I got sick of it after 15 hours straight. Things like stereo imaging, separating the kick and bass, etc.

So for a straight answer, I overdrove the vocals because that's the sound I wanted. I wanted it to be warm, almost harsh. Somewhere between 'presence' and 'is that a megaphone?' So there isn't really a technical reason, just as there isn't really a technical reason behind choosing what organ sound to use - it's all about what you want to hear. I shouldn't have made such a stink about it in the first place.

You'll notice the same thing on my sdurand cover, but that had the deliberate intent of matching the Sun Records sound.

Thanks for the interest, now enough about me, let's get on with reviews.

[Märk]

Good idea, Sober. How about you review the fights you aren't in?

Mega-terse and unapologetic reviews. (completely not helpful, either, and I don't care. my opinion is what matters here, not your reaction to it. bitch.)

Beatnik Turtle: Nice beat. The vocals sound like you're trying to do satire, or a parody of yourself or something. Annoying, actually. I like this style of boppy, swinging music, but the goofy vocals are ruining it for me.

Ben Wong: ID3 TAG PLEASE. Did you take an iPod earphone and use that as a mic? From across the room? It sounds like you can sing in tune, but here it just sounds nasaly and whiney (probably the bad production) And to top it off, the song is only okay-ish.

J. Compere: That's a pretty long leading silence. 'made sweet sweet love' is a lyric that only Chef on SOuthpark should ever utter. This is produced fairly good, the song itself isn't really doing much for me. Your vocals are uneven- you should do some compression or hard limiting on them to smooth them out to a single volume. Or practice your mic technique.

The Dangers: Goddammit, wy don't people ID3 their songs? Sorry, this pisses me off when I'm trying to review. This is pretty good, songwise- you hit my favorite musical genre, and did it quite well. A bit too short. Production is garagey and tinny, but not unpleasant. Good song. Favorite so far. (just tag the damned file next time)

Dark Side of Archeaology: This sounds like Obscurity with bad production values, therefore, it reminds me of SoM, which I don't like. Not a bad song, I guess, but I don't like it very much. Mixing is pretty muddy.

@eclectic sp00ns: ewww, vox are really pitchy in a couple parts, not sure if that is intentional, because they are still in tune, just not with the chords playing behind them. This has a bizarre, jazz fusion feel to it, and is kind of interesting, but those synth washes and reverb aren't doing anything good for the song. The tone of the guitar playing the jazzy lines is really good. If that is in fact a guitar.

Future Boy: HAHA, I thought this was Jim of Seattle for a few seconds. Seriously, compare the voice! You two sing exactly the same! Actually, the songwriting is almost identical, too. This is too lounge jazz for my tastes, but the production and songwriting is impeccable, I guess. The emotion I get listening to this is impatience. Waiting for the next song to come on.

Gangway Anapolis: Is this the piano/lounge/jazz fight this week? A bit too I dunno. Odd chord choices and resolutions.. they almost sound like mistakes, but I know they aren't.

Jeff Travis Henderson: Oh, I like your singing. You sound like Frankie Bigface, except in a universe where he does good music I can hear some weird artifacts in this during the quiet parts. My only complaint.

Kweep: Hah! Awesome! I think this might get my vote. Sure, this is novelty crap, but I love it. More!

Max the Cat: This sounds like a truck commercial. Or a US Army propaganda film song. I mean, it's pretty good and all, don't get wrong. Production and performance is all good. I start getting too annoyed to continue listening after about 2:00 in.

Motor Monkeys: Way quieter than the other songs in the fight. You *do* sound like Johnny Rotten. I wish this was mastered louder- a high-energy song should be loud, otherwise it just sounds poorly produced. Pretty decent song, though.

Older Brothers: Ouch, mixing issues, mostly on the vocals. See my advice to J. Compere. It hurts to listen to this, and it's a shame because it sounds like a pretty good song. The acoustic guitar is way too brash, too. Remix!

Ray Negro: Nice groove, good guitar playing. The vocals are interesting and unique. I can't understand much of what you're saying, but that's fine. I like this a lot. The french accent sounds totally bizarre in this style!

Sober Irishman: Ack! The vocals are all clipping!

Somewhere Off the Left Coast: This needs a band backing it up, doesn't work as a voice and electric guitar. Cool idea, though.

Spy vs. Pie: Short and sweet. Great performance.

Steve Durand: Rawhide. (nice slide guitar)

Wages: From the opening chords, I hear mixing issues. You flub the note on 'cry'. Pretty sloppy performace all around, actually. This gets boring after the first verse.

Kweep gets my vote.

[Kweep]

sven,

may his noodliness bless you and keep you, may his meatballs shine upon you and give you peace. hey man... errrr... hyman.... errr.... amen. yeah, that's it. amen.

[Future Boy]

Reviews (not proofread):

Beatnik Turtle: Fun and jaunty. Not at all offensive to the ears. I would not spend all day listening to this kind of music, but it's cool every now and again.

Ben Wong: The lo-fi recording and G&G arrangement make this song somewhat unlistenable. But, disregarding that, I can totally hear a Britney Spears hit in there.

Chin Music: The drums are pretty shitty. The guitar is tolerable, I guess. I like the sound of your voice but you are totally being a Johnny-One-Note. The lyrics aren't good enough for you to get away with that.

The Dangers: Totally not feelin' it. Those drums are fake, aren't they? Kinda kills the "rock your face" vibe you are going for. Vocalist is not convincing.

The Dark Side of Archeaology: Can barely hear the vocals. What I can make out is pretty repetetive. The guitar stuff is also not so hot. I mean, it just kind of twangs away and doesn't really grab me.

@ecleticspOOns: It's usually a good idea to stay with the beat, yo. Musically it's kind of weird and that's nice. I don't really agree with your sound choices. Mostly the totally off vocal makes it really difficult to listen to.

Future Boy: Levels are a bit lower than they could be. But, hey, I think I managed to imply the title pretty well. Meanwhile, my voice totally does not sound like JoS.

Gangway Annapolis: I was skeptical at first, but then I totally got into the musical theater vibe. The vocal seems to miss a few notes here and there, but I'm not entirely sure if that's on purpose or not. Overall, a good song that could have simply been recorded/performed better.

Jeff Travis Henderson: This sounds incredibly familiar. But it's probably that you are doing all the "right" things for the genre. You know, maybe you should try questioning your intuition a bit? You know, do something unexpected and "wrong" every now and again. Because this sounds totally derivative.

Kweep: This is fun. I especially like the "girl" voice.

Marn: I kinda like this.

Max the Cat: Too much reverb on the voice. Not a fan of the lyrics. Backup vocals sound like sent them through a low-pass filter. This song is a bit to inspirational-alt-rock-country for me.

Motor Monkeys: Dunno, leaves me cold.

The Older Brothers: The recording is hurting this a lot. Vocals and guitar are way tinny. Vocal performance is not great. Lyrics, well, it's a take on the title, anyway.

Ray Negro: This is kinda cool. Nothing super-great going on though. I'm actually enjoying your voice quite a bit. Ooo, robo-voice, straight to my heart.

The Sober Irishman: WTF man, some genres are better off forgotten if you ask me. Bobby Brown wants his drum kit back. Hella bass, maybe a bit too much. Your voice does not mesh with the synth stuff I'm afraid. I agree with the people criticizing the way you recorded the vocal. I can dig the fact that you wanted it to be overdriven, but I don't think it's extreme enough to be heard as intentional. Um, there are some cool chord changes in this, but the arrangement is just really really bad.

Somewhere Off the Left Coast: One riff does not a song make. Well, unless it's a really really awesome riff, which yours is not.

Spy vs. Pie: Mix is muddy. Nice organ. Short and sweet.

Steve Durand: Your story songs are always pretty cheesy, I gotta say. But somehow it totally works because your voice and arrangements are kinda of goofy. Harmony in the chorus is nice. I like imaginaysheeun. I'm pretty sure I voted for this one. Coulda faded the last chord instead of cutting it off, though.

Wages: A demo for a song I probably wouldn't like even if it was well arranged and recorded.

[Nigel (spOOn) Clements]

Okay, sorry about the not too clever reviews, thats because I'm not too clever... anyway nobody ever reads this bit so i could type anything I want, so "Eat shit and cough backwards over android goblins!"...

Future Boy: Lovely tune, but the organ swells tend to smother the vocal quite a lot, which is a terrible shame because your voice is sweet. 6½/10

Older Brothers: Wicked Witches!! this has a slight Dead Milkmen feel about it, probably due to the vocal stylings, I like the extremely clear feel though and this is a definate keeper. 8/10

Gangway Annapolis: Nice reflective feel, but suffers from the piano/organ overiding the vox in a similar way to future Boy, sounds a bit Dudley Moore. 6/10

Spy Vs Pie: They Might Be Giants clone, extremely well done though and another keeper. 7/10

The Dangers: Sounds like punk performed by someone who wasn't there to understand it, I quite like the 999/Stranglers fusion though almost like a subdued Test Icicles, Keeper. 7/10

The Sober irishman: Nice gravel to the vox, excellent baritone parts, highly professional, though not quite my style, though thats a personal choice, a keeper nonetheless. 8/10

The Dark Side of Archaeology: Best from you guys so far, nice solid instrumentation, but the vocals are lost in the mix for me, shame really 'cause otherwise I'd really like this. 6½/10

Wages: Much better mate, just needs a subdued percussion line, well controlled vocals. 7/10

Beatnik Turtle: Goofy and enjoyable in an Ookla the Mok kind of way, is this a Steve Durand/Kill Me Sarah collaboration?? Keeper. 7/10

Ray Negro: Okay English isn't your first language so this to me sounds like Grupo Sportivo meets Nosequíen Y Los Nosecuántosm and the resulting hybrid is... Great!!, naybe the vocals are a touch loud, but apart from that this is well cool, another keeper. 8/10

Motor Monkeys: Very Blue Aeroplanes with a Dalek singing, cool! Keeper. 7½/10

Ben Wong: Suffers from recording equipment failings (with which I can sympathise), sounds a bit like it was performed in an empty club, nice tune though. 6/10

Chin Music: Good solid Blues/Rock (I personally don't like Blues/Rock though) very Dylanesque. 6½/10

Somewhere Off the Left Coast: See Above, without the Dylan bit. 6/10

Jeff Travis Hendrson: Now here's a surprise, I really like this, it sounds like a Smaller track but I can't remember which one, but hell yeah I can really relate to this, excellent job, keeper. 7½/10

Kweep: South park music, goofy and slightly annoying. 6/10

Steve Durand: Oh yeah! Neil Sedaka in playful mood, cool goofy goodness! (only needs some Bom Bom Bom's to finish it off), keeper. 7/10

Max the Cat: Starts out like some US sitcom title music then spreads into the Mock Turtles witha touch of the Lovin' Spoonful after Sebastian left, this is good but just doesn't grab me as much as some of the others here. 6½/10

spOOn: Just shake your head and walk away, this would make a nice instrumental. 4½/10

I'm voting for... Older Brothers!!!
Tough choice though between them, Sober Irishman and Ray Negro.

[EightLeggedOedipus]

A lot of good tunes in this fight. I don't have time to review, but here are the ones I want to come back and listen to again later. Kudos all.


Chin Music, Dark Side, Future Boy, Kweep, Motor Monkeys, Ray Negro, Somewhere Off The Left Coast, Spy Vs Pie, Steve Durand

[Kweep]

sweet! congrats max!

[max the cat]

sweet! congrats max!

Thanks back. Victories always seem so random. humans as a collective are very unpredictable.

[jeffhenderson]

Victories always seem so random. humans as a collective are very unpredictable.

Except when you're MC Frontalot.