y = f(x) = C(a^(-x)) (rate of decay reviews)

[Nigel (spOOn) Clements]

There's some excellent stuff here guys... blimey!

Johnny Cashpoints Space Pub: Very Neil Innes-esque (in a Rutles kind of way) opening, as always your lyrics are entertaining and the alternate vox takes work very well, I can't wait to hear the finished product if this is just an experiment. 7/10

Smalltown Mike: Cool opening, and fuck me! what an excellent voice, this is somewhat similar to Johnny's, okay now break.... cool! this is sung/rap done exactly the right way, 'Skeletones' just a bit too long maybe. 7½/10

Thanks for the Frisbee: Aha! it's 'Thanks for the Turtles/Lovin' Spoonful/Moldy Peaches'. beautiful floaty feel to this, and a nice variant to the previous two, percussion is a little far away, but such a nice song. 7/10

Ratt Poizon:
Song Number #1 You sound a little dissinterested in the emotions you're trying to convey. 1/2½
Song Number #2 Yeah rock muthafukka, can't understand a word but well cool nonetheless. 2/2½
Song Number #3 This is the sound of someone opening a manhole cover, I hope he gets it open soon. 1/2½
Song Number #4 Spank my pants this is fuckin' cool, I love that buzzy bee guitar noise. 2/2½

Melvin: Sorry mate, but I laughed out loud at this, 'Oh Yeah' just wasn't expecting anything like this from you, and guess what, this really works one hell of a lot, and it's funny too dude, super clear vox. 'And then there's that shit that everybody else likes' 8½/10

Jolly Roger: Such a shame there's some excellent songs in this fight, because there's absolutely nothing wrong with this, maybe a touch maudlin, you done a good job mate, nice and easy, but don't whistle, that just spoils the whole ambience. 6/10

G. Williker (Middlemarch): Bang! like a breathe of fresh air, this is super cool, and the best complement I can give is this is so much like so much stuff I listen to everyday, a definate keeper, and a probable vote on most weeks, extremely accomplished, maybe between 2:00 and 2:50 it's only your vocals that are carrying the song, which is maybe too late in the song for that to be happening, but everything after 2:50 is back on track brilliance. 7/10

Eight Legged Oedipus: The bok bok bok is too loud and gets rather annoying, the bom bom bom needs to lead into something... oh I don't know maybe brassy, though after all that, this is such a sweet song, 'triffic feel, tempo and what a nice voice you've got there! 7/10

Those Meddling Kids: What happened to the squeaky puppets? Hey you sound like Johnny Cashpoint Seriously though this is just so much Bearsuit it's unbelievable, I love Bearsuit, this is overly eccentric and more the cool for that, the (Noodle??? is that the right word) guitar bit is just spot on, maybe the outro is a tad indulgent, but what the hey! 7½/10

MENBAH!: This is okay until 1:20 when the song really kicks in, prior to that it's a touch empty, but thats obviously in fitting with the feel that you were attempting to purvey, there are some good songs here this week and on a normal week this'd be a vote contender to my ears, hmm just after the guitar solo you do tend to lose the voice a bit, which is a shame. 6½/10

spOOns: hah! this sounds like crap after listening to the others, second thoughts this sounded like crap anyway, but anyway 1 2 3 4 beat beat beat. 5½/10

Lake City: You know with a deeper voice and a touch of sardonic wit this could sound like Half Man Half Biscuit, and I love Half Man Half Biscuit, but it doesn't but it could nice song though, passes me by a touch. 6/10

Rone Rivendale: Best rap i've heard from you Rone, I like the electro/industrial feel, and the disjointed vox works well, maybe raise them up a notch, elsewise I quite like this, maybe it's a shame that there are so many rap-orientated songs this week. 7/10

The Special Relatives: Too short, sloppy but thats part of it's charm, just too short damn you. 6/10

Malchicks: Good solid number, but like I've said previously above, this would really catch my ear on a normal week, but others have beaten you too it, I like it, I can find nothing wrong with it, but I won't vote for it, yeah I know that's a shit review. sorry! 7/10

Steve Durand: Are you doing a latin flavoured album Steve?, the vox are a touch too effected, (not a lot mind, just a notch), the horn break comes at just the right moment, but I'd prefer a solo trumpet going all over the place, the brass is just a touch regimented, but this is probably the most complete song here. 8/10

Chin Music: This sounds like 'Powered by Satan' or 'Peter Cook sings the Frogs' funny lyrics in a dead pan way is always a cool in my book, good job chaps. 6½/10

Starchild: Just don't do the tuning the radio in bit for too long, nice noises, nice alt voices, but this really needs to change up to avoid it becoming boring, for a very 'busy' song not a lot happens, and tell that guy to leave the piano alone and make some coffee or something, you trip over the rap a couple-a-times but not too badly, and I reckon this looked really good written down, it just loses my interest quite quickly, sorry! 6½/10

MedMonk: If your gonna do shouty bits, then don't whisper them, shout them... on the tea theme this isn't my cup of, and it's certainly not Tenacious D, good idea though. 5/10

Okay based on the marking system above it should be Melvin get's me vote, but Im gonna deliberate a touch this time, and I may even be back later in the week for a review update.... stay tuned to this channel!

[j$]

]Do you mean it sounded all over the place or that it was being made up as I went along?

No, I guess I meant that if the decay of the music was meant to act as a metaphor of decay of control, then the stop-starty jerk rhythms, cool as they were, aren't neccessarily the best indicator of control. To these ears anyway.

[JAK]

Everything is generally very very good. This was a tough one to judge.

Rone R: A tuneful ditty, had me tapping my toe.
Melvin: Musically clever, I'd like it better if it had a subject other than doing the dozens.
Spl Relations: Couldn't hear the words, zany instrumental, OK.
Smalltown Mike: Again, novel/interesting music, good feeling of space, but so many lyrics seem to be about how somebody else or everybody else sucks.
Those Meddling Kids: King Crimsony, good.
Steve Durand: Fillmore West, 1966. With the trumpets, a number from Aquarius.
Malchicks: Not my cup of meat, so no comment.
Space Pub: Hostile in a nice way, slightly chaotic.
Starchild: Intellectuual rap, a new genre.
MENBAH: Aggrorock, which I like; this one didn't quite do it for me.
Lake City: Honest, fave so far. An actual song, not "too hip," which problem abounds.
Medmonk: Golly. Radio horror theatre with tea as villian.
electicspoons: Sonically quite clever; better if shorter, I think.
G. Williker: Thoughty, such talent in this site. Somewhat more pro than Lake City, but similarly honest.
Rattpoizon: Astral joyous homicidal aggro. Then sort of rips its face off and hurts. Frightening. OK!
Thanks for the Frisbee: Enjoyable. Although I have no notable judgment I would've omitted the drums.
Jolly Roger. Well. *I* liked the spoken part.
8-legged oedipus: A clear winner because of lyrics as well as tune.
*Please note that my opinions don't amount to a hill of beans, thank you (you're welcome)*

[starchild]

Yeah I was afraid mine was going to be too long without enough changing but the lyrics. That was the problem I did it in one night and spent most of the time on the lyrics and trying to get this old upright bass I just got to sound good enough (which it doesn't really yet). I kind of figured the lyrics might be hard to hear with the pitch shift, but then sounded clear to me (because I know them). The lyrics are in the archive if you can't hear them.

[Reist]

So from what I can tell, everyone is thinking the same things about my song that I did. I figured that people wouldn't really enjoy the whistling ... I thought it would fit in there, but I couldn't quite get the two whistle tunes to be in time. The fast sung vocals in the chorus were purposeful, but not to annoy ... I think it works better the second time than the first. Thanks for the reviews everyone.

[Thanks For The Frisbee]

TFTF – Why are the cool drums panned hard right? .

first of all thanks for calling the drums cool , sorry about the panning, i did double track them and pan hard right on one of them and hard left on the other to try to make them sound more full, but i must have screwed it up somehow. i have to find a better way to record them too. i only have one mic right now

You couldn't have produced those drums to sound better IMO. The hard panning isn't bothering me over my speakers, not sure what it would be like over headphones.

thanks to you too for liking the drums im more concerned with all this imo/emo talk the past coupla weeks haha well i guess i dont care that much...no wait im going to cut myself and cry about a girl that doesnt want me

thanks for all the feedback so far everyone, i should have my reviews earlier this week.

[Kill Me Sarah]

im more concerned with all this imo/emo talk the past coupla weeks

IMO = In My Opinion
EMO = An abbreviation of "emotionally-driven Hardcore punk". It is a term now broadly used to describe almost any form of guitar-driven alternative rock that expresses emotions beyond traditional punk's limited emotional palette of alienation and rage. It is also used to describe fans of this genre, most commonly teenagers.

[Thanks For The Frisbee]

oh crap....thanks....im a spaz, i dont know all this hip cat lingo people are using these days at any rate thanks for liking the song

[Steve Durand]

Steve D – nice bass line. This is a bit jazzy for me. Or do I mean funky? Jazz-funky.

Jazz + Funk = Junk?

Do I get points for not doing a "pastiche" this week?

Steve

[Ratt Poizon]

I have 45 min. until Walker: Texas Ranger starts... I'm drinking beer. And I've just listened to Cannibal Corpse's "eaten back to life" three times today... it must be REVIEW TIME!!!!

Chin Music
I really like this. Guitars sound good. I like the lyrics too. I usually hate guy and guitar songs. oh! that right channel bass is nice. I would drink 6 beers and one shot with you.

eclecticpoons
uhh.... kinda funny at first. I don't think I really like the vocals too much. there's a nice variety of sounds going on. I like that. I hate to say it's repetitive, because it's not... however something else inthere would have made me like it more... overall not bad. I would drink 4 beers with you.

eightleggedoedepunanny
ok... vocals sound good. I like the drums. and then it's over.... very professional sounding, I think. I would drink 3 beers and 1 shot with you.

G. Williker
nah... I'm not liking this at all right now. the recording quality is pretty damned good. no. I'm sure alot of people will like this song.. it just ain't my bag. good job though. I guess I'd drink a beer or two with you.

Jelly Roger
drums make me giggle a bit. well... doesn't sound too bad I guess.... I don't like the music at all. until you whistle. that makes everything better. I'll drink two beers withyou... but I think you're underage aren't you? I guess if you are I'll buy you and your friends a case of beast ice.

lake city
no. I hate it. the guitar solo part is kinda cool. uhh... I guess that's it... sorry, not my style really , you know... I'd drink a beer or two with ya.

malchicks
kind of a punk feel. mix isn't too bad. I don't care for the vocals. pretty good pitch harmonics. I hear potential but then it leaves... bring back the squealy squeal.. and tell the drum player to play 3 times faster, and then put the mic in your mouth and bark like a dog. There. I just figured out how you should sound. I'd drink 5 beers with you.

medmonk
ummm... something tells me I should like this more... but I don't. however... I'd drink 6 beers and 3 shots with you because you seem cool.

Melvin
this isn't too bad I supose. this is already a song though isn't it? I'm not 100% sure what's going on. that little guitar riff isn't bad at the end... I guess this was ok..... I'll drink a beer or two with ya.

Menbah?
this is alright I guess. bass part is kinda cool. girls are stupid. I quit caring about girls and I started buying lots of porn. It seems to work better when combined with alcohol. that solo could have been a bit more rockin' especially with the other little solo going on at the same time behind it. It picks up a bit... then it's over... good job. too much singing I think though... I'd drink 3-4 beers with you.

Ratt Poizon
I think this is the best song I've entered so far. I wanted to call myself "Thanks for the Melvin, kids poizon" but I figured people would be angry at me. my buddy larry helped lay down some guitar tracks on this too.

Rone Rivendale
I don't really care for this... however there are some nice sound varieties going on from ear to ear. I especially like the right side thing... I guess I can't describe that. uhh... vocals kinda sucked... sorry... however I'd drink 4 beers or so with you.

Small town mike
is this suposed to sound kinda like sublime? I'm not being a dick or anything... it just seems like something like that. I'm not a fan. This is definately one of the best quality recordings I've listened to so far. I do like the vocals in parts. kinda rockin' kinda groovy... with scatting... I should love this song. overall I think this is a very nice song. I'd probably drink 5-6 beers with you, if you weren't too cool to hang out and slam a few that is!

space pub
I don't think I'm in the mood for this now... I'll drink a beer real quick... hmmm... I guess it's over now... well I thought that was kind of boring to be honest. sorry. uhh.... yeah. I was looking forward to it too. I guess this is a bad review, I'm sorry.... hey I'm ratt poizon! it doesn't matter what I think of your song anyway, right? I'd drink 8-9 beers with you because you sound british and you might have newcastle brown ale.

special relatives
there's some stuff going on. now.. ok. little ditty. nice 'n short jam. not bad.... I'll drink 4 beers.

Steef Durand
kinda cool, not my flavor. the brass section is nice.... how do you guys do that? is that all computer stuff? Ratt Poizon needs an orchestra. that sounds real though. very real. I like herb alpert and the tijuana brass.... ALOT. if I had to pick a favorite, I'd pick Zorba the Greek. wow!!!! did you screw something up on that guitar solo a bit? maybe not... I don't know... I'd drink 5 beers with you.

Thanks for the Freezbi
hmm.... I've been listening for a while... drums kind of sound muddy.. but they're still kinda cool. I guess this isn't a bad song.... I can usually get into stuff like this if there's something more exciting going on in between. pretty cool. I'd drink 4 beers with you.

Those Meddling Kids
wow!!! I'm impressed!!! that's kinda cool. really cool... oh... not now.. when the soft singing starts. but you could make up with it with that 8-bit sounding key thing going on. FUCK!!! TEXAS RANGER IS ON.... BRB.. OH DAMN IT!!! I was hoping it was going to be the same exact crap when I put my headphones back on... I'll rewind a bit! yes!!! the wind blowing things are cool... almost as cool as the terets guitar in the other ear. frankly, I didn't know you had this in you... I thought you mainly did seriously sounding crap... good job! I'd drink 7 beers and 2 shots with you.

Star child
well so far so good.. I hope this isn't going to be rap... oh... damn it. well, I hate most rap... this ain't bad though. aint' bad at all. I like it when people fuck with their voices. and that piano is great! scratching is kinda cool too. I will admit I have "general mike patton vs. the x-ecutioners" do you like that? you might. I'm really diggin' the piano and bass are those generic loops, or did you actually play them? haha!! you know what's funny.. I hate rap... but I think I'm enjoying this the most out of all the others. NICE JOB

As for voting and what not... I honestly liked mine the most. I don't think that's something I should appologize for. I really thought I did a good job on it. however, I hope that star child guy or those meddling kids win. because I sure as shit won't. 8)

[starchild]

yes it is real upright bass graham, and a piano softsynth played on a midi controller and then cut up. the only samples are in the intro and throughout that are obvious, and the drum single hits which were also played on the midi controller and cut up.

[Ratt Poizon]

is that you todd? hmmmm..... who else calls me "Graham?"

[starchild]

nope sorry

[Mogosagatai]

Creeepy. And anyway Graham, <i>I'm</i> Todd. How have you not noticed yet?

[furrypedro]

What happened to the squeaky puppets? Hey you sound like Johnny Cashpoint Seriously though this is just so much Bearsuit it's unbelievable, I love Bearsuit

I killed them with a trowel.
I saw Bearsuit with Fosca once and they both really freaked me out, but then I was really into Ballboy at the time

anyway....

Chin Music: I think I'm going to have to let your voice and style grow on me a bit, I'm not really into this but there's obviously a degree of flair in all aspects of this track, from the lyrics to the general instrumentation and recording. I'm a big fan of slide-whistles and stuff so well done. (and once again, great name )

@eclectic spoons: You always manage to get your voice to sound so 80's, I'm not sure how, it's like you've got this really claustrophobic reverb setting or something. I like the fact that this has some variation tucked away in the structure, but otherwise I still think it could use a bit of work in making the loops develop as it progresses or something. It sounds to me like an early Human League demo

8LO: Not sure which version to review, but ignoring production this is probably the best written song of the fight in terms of the lyrical flow and singalong potential. It's difficult to know what to do with stuff like this, it works best as a G&G tune but you've tried to develop it a bit which is definitely what I would've done but I'm not sure it adds much. This makes me think of Metal Hearts who I've listened to a lot of this week, but chirpier. nice one

G Williker: The execution is pretty good but I'm really not into the song, because there isn't a single element which sets it apart from a million other mid-tempo rock songs (or even a thousand other Songfight mid-tempo rock songs). This works purely as a platform from which you can start throwing some random elements into the mix. do the same song but in 6/4, use a chord that you made up yourself, choose a bar of the song arbitrarily and remove it or just let some instruments drop out for a bit. the fade in was good, do more stuff like that.

Melvin: ahahaha, how come your so good at this?!! those brass samples are perfect. "If this is death oh lord I don't wanna live" way to comeback. err what to say about this....duff note not pictured, I was just listening to the Go! Team so this hit the spot in a profound and unexpected way. wanna collab?

Thanks for the Frisbee: ooh, a band. although the band sounds a bit like it's playing in the next room, it's all a bit dull tonaly. anyway, I'm not gonna say much about this cos I like it and you've got a cool voice and that's about it.

STM: I can't fault this in any technical way and I'm kinda digging the dub-rock angle. I might have to steal your drum sound. cool

Steve Durand: This mix seems a bit messy but I like the vocal reverb and the overall feel is pretty cool, it all fits together okay, nothing out of place. Every now and then something seems to lose it's rhythm but I'm not sure if that's just me. solid song, not sure about the fade out.

Jolly Roger: "multiplied 1000 times" too many syllables in a beat perhaps? you should've started saying multiplied a beat earlier to help the phrase to fit in possibly. I like the way this changed mood completely without me really noticing, from being really gloomy to all wistful and bouncy. Whistling and bird noises are cool. Different from last time, good job.

Ronerama: ah, the lead line and vocal aren't following each other, sorry for that comment I take that back now. there's a bit of a flow here, I think rapping suits your voice more than singing so good call there. with that in mind think you should branch out into sampling a bit, that might mean learning to use some new software but I think it'd be worth it if you found some decent loops to steal. This is lacking a strong melodic element.

Starchild: This is pretty cool, some of the lyrics are good and I like all the different bits you used like the piano plonking over the track and the scratches in-between. I wish you'd layered them up a bit though cause it seems that one part drops out just as another comes in which makes the sections all feel a bit detached from each other. sounds like Quasimoto which is cool

Lake City: This was sounding exactly like a load of other half arsed indie tunes until it nearly fell apart before the chorus came in and the guitar solo shat over the rest of the song. I guess it's kind of nice in a lo-fi summery way and it stops abruptly (instead of fading out) so it's not all bad.

Medmonk: I wish you hadn't written this. The fact that it tries to rhyme makes it worse. and the massive silence at the end of the track is something of a blessing. I could think of ways to improve this, but I'm not sure it would be worth it, and it would probably entail dismantling the song completely. sorry

MeNbAh!: I'm not into guitar solos but until that point this weren't bad at all; the bass and drums were struggling to stick together a bit but they were carrying it off and the singing's pretty good. That shuffly drum rhythm in the verse is cool too. Personally I preferred the high, wailing vocals when they were backing up the lead line rather than at the front, but it's all fine and the lyrics worked well too.

Space Pub: I like this. mainly the twinkly noises and guitar and the beat which is really simple but it works. vote?

Ratt poizon: the belch and reverse cymbal leading into the ride rhythm is hella cool. that opening section is sweet too, the chords and the recording, so that's the power of the 8-track. I can hear it working. ....uuhhh, that's a riff...and a half.hahaha yesss. I admit I still can't hear anything that resembles this without thinking of (and unless I can help it, imitating) Beavis and Butthead, I think if I was going to grow out of that habit it would've happened by now. But regardless this is bloody good. possible vote. tequila's on you if you win!

Malchicks: It's a bit straightforward for me and It's already gone on too long, but this is still pretty good. I can hear all the instruments and the lyrics ain't too bad. and you make some cool swirly noises.

tmk: wow....I do sound like johnny cashpoint. I like all the bits in this but I fucked the structure up big time. I might reshuffle it if I can be arsed, or just start on next weeks song

I don't think I missed anyone...
the best were j$ and Melvin, hey you guys should get together!!
Frisbee and Ratt Poizon should also get it on.....were very good I mean

[medmonk]

med of medmonk:
being a first effort, and neither of us being especially confident in our guitar playing, it was almost a short straw that chose the arrangement, which was me singing. I know I sounded stupid trying to be american, and that we left a big gap at the end .
Actually I'd just like to say thankyou for including our tardy almost-song.
You're right, I also sound like a fool with the whisper shout, it was bad. I did try shouting a bit more, but I distorted.
I do know that we had fun writing, performing and recording it.
The song may also be my fate one day.
keep up the cool work everyone!
thou hast not seen the last of us!

[Thanks For The Frisbee]

ooh, a band. although the band sounds a bit like it's playing in the next room, it's all a bit dull tonaly. anyway, I'm not gonna say much about this cos I like it and you've got a cool voice and that's about it.

thanks for liking the song "its dull tonealy" i really want to fix that.
i think i need to learn more about the art of recording.
thanks again

[Kill Me Sarah]

ooh, a band. although the band sounds a bit like it's playing in the next room,

Haha, he just told me he recorded the drums with one mic in the hallway of his house.

[Nigel (spOOn) Clements]

@eclectic spoons: You always manage to get your voice to sound so 80's, I'm not sure how, it's like you've got this really claustrophobic reverb setting or something.

I got a cupboard under the stairs, does that help?!?

I got banned from the kitchen

and I've got a big nose

[melvin]

Before I take TOO much credit for the instrumental portion of my track this week, I should point out that all I really did was splice up Jean Knight's 1972 hit "Mr. Big Stuff", put a beat behind it, add some scratches and the guitar riff at the end, then throw down the sick rhymes. I'm pleased (and surprised) that some people dig it. Thanks for the largely positive feedback. Sometimes you need to dis' someone, and there's no better genre for that sort of thing. Pedro - let's collab, yo. My reviews to follow...

[Middlemarch]

Just a few reviews for now...

@eclectic spoons: Have I mentioned you sound like Fred from B-52s? The 'melody' gets tiring after a while, but I like the sound of the vocals. Yeah, the music is tiring, too. More variation, I guess? You seem to be heading that way with each new song, which is a good thing.

8LO: Clever lyrics, catchy melody, nice singing. Drum is loud. I don't like the bridge around 1:00 -- doesn't seem to add to the rest of the song, though I can see how a break is necessary. The mix/quality really isn't bad. A nice little ditty.

Melvin: Mr. Big Stuff. Your voice works well in this style, as in others, which is very impressive. I don't like that it samples so much from the orginal...makes it sound like freestyle karaoke.

Thanks for the Frisbee: The effect you use on your voice is a cool trademark. I love those drums. Reminds me of a friend banging on turned over garbage cans years ago. Boom-boom. I am really digging the lo-fi sound. Gtrs are really low in the mix. I like the melody, but the second parts, starting around 1:30, lack the strength of the first few verses. One of my favorites in this fight.

Rone: I like the sampling because it's so simple. I like your voice, too. It seems good for rap. Though I think it would sound better if the rhythm was smoother -- more like singing, I guess. Lyrics are silly, not holding my attention.

G Williker (me): It is exactly like "a million other mid-tempo rock songs".

Lake City: I like the verse in a be-boppy way. The chorus doesn't work for me, though...melody-wise, singing-wise, etc. A cool lo-fi feel to this. Not a whole lot of character, but a decent effort.

Ratt poizon: Burp. Classy. I'm not digging the voice -- it seems forced, insincere. Which song are we supposed to be reviewing? It just seems like a way to stuff more than one entry in. Tempo/style changes are cool, just so long as the resulting song feels like a whole, but these parts don't. After the first two minutes, it just seems like you're fucking around.

Kids: I don't love it, but I don't hate it. The whispery-singing is grating on me, like you're whining. But I like the music--the cute little synth thing, the tick-tick quiet drums. Did you go get a snack at 2:00?

More to come...

[furrypedro]

Did you go get a snack at 2:00?

yeah, I can detach my hand Thing-style and left it to play guitar while I went and got some pie & mash.