DING DONG, THE WITCH IS DEAD: Ashcroft resigns

mkilly · Post by **mkilly** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 3:57 pm

"Attorney General John Ashcroft and Commerce Secretary Don Evans have resigned, the White House said. Details soon." --cnn.com

Sober · Post by **Sober** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 4:02 pm

LET THE EAAAAAGGGLEEE SOAAAAARRRRR

omg: Aschroft coverfight.

God. Who's gonna replace him? "Attorney General Lucifer"

JonPorobil · Post by **JonPorobil** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 4:42 pm

http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/11/ ... index.html

Hallefuckinglujah!

Man, and I thought I was going to break this one here. Mkilly, I tip my hat to you.

JonPorobil · Post by **JonPorobil** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 4:50 pm

In other news: http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/11/ ... index.html

Yasser Arafat is as good as dead now, as well.

Hoblit · Post by **Hoblit** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 5:26 pm

as the actual resigning is news... this was very well already a given. However, with that said... go out and get yourself a lapdance...that would be the best way to celebrate THIS news.

JonPorobil · Post by **JonPorobil** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 5:30 pm

In much the same way many eighteen-year-olds will celebrate their birthdays by going out and buying a pack of cigarettes, even if they don't smoke... Just because they can.

(Yeah, I didn't do this. I was broke. But a friend of mine who also doesn't smoke did. Only, he was broke too so we laughed at him.) 8)

mkilly · Post by **mkilly** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 11:17 pm

Generic wrote:In much the same way many eighteen-year-olds will celebrate their birthdays by going out and buying a pack of cigarettes, even if they don't smoke... Just because they can.

(Yeah, I didn't do this. I was broke. But a friend of mine who also doesn't smoke did. Only, he was broke too so we laughed at him.) 8)

I was gonna, but, yeah, broke. Also I'm not enchanted by smoking at all. It makes my throat burn and makes me cough and I feel terrible and I don't like smoking. I did buy a scratch ticket though. I lost. I was gonna buy a Powerball one but somebody'd won recently so I didn't think it was worth it to bother.

Anyway, I mirrored the Ashcroft song "Let the Eagle Soar" at http://www.glitterandtwang.org/songfight/

Eric Y. · Post by **Eric Y.** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 11:56 pm

mkilly wrote:I was gonna buy a Powerball one but somebody'd won recently so I didn't think it was worth it to bother.

heh, yeah... you sound just like the customers at the store where i used to work. they'd be all like, "how much is the powerball this week?" and i'd look and be like "sixty million" or whatever. and they'd be all like, "eh, nevermind." and i'd be all wondering, what the hell can you do with a hundred mil or two, that you can't do with sixty?

mkilly · Post by **mkilly** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 1:00 am

tviyh wrote:heh, yeah... you sound just like the customers at the store where i used to work. they'd be all like, "how much is the powerball this week?" and i'd look and be like "sixty million" or whatever. and they'd be all like, "eh, nevermind." and i'd be all wondering, what the hell can you do with a hundred mil or two, that you can't do with sixty?

that's not the issue. the chances of winning powerball are so low as to be insignificant; if you buy a powerball ticket you're throwing your money in the garbage. so if you're going to throw your money in the garbage, on something with a statistically insignificant chance to win, you may as well wait until it's worth something significant (200 mil, 180 mil) compared to something comparitively slight (10 mil, 60 mil). especially considering 60 mil = 11 mil when taxes and fees for a lump sum are taken into account.

that's why i didn't bother, anyway, on my 18th birthday. i said to myself in august or september, "if nobody's won it by my birthday, i'll buy a ticket," since it was at like 160-200 mil, that area, then. but i guess somebody did, because it was around 10 mil on my birthday.

the Jazz · Post by **the Jazz** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 1:06 am

Except if people wait until it's a big jackpot, you have worse chances of actually winning the big one because more people are buying tickets. So I think it evens out that either way buying lotto tickets is a really bad idea.

Eric Y. · Post by **Eric Y.** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 1:55 am

you have exactly the same odds of winning regardless of how many tickets are sold. because it's not guaranteed that somebody is going to win. if somebody matches all of the numbers, THEN they win, but this is just as likely to happen if one person or one million people buy a ticket.

i suppose you could argue that with the increased number of tickets sold as the jackpot increases, there is a bigger chance of you having to split the jackpot if you win it -- that is, your chances of winning are the same, but the chances of somebody else winning is greater when more people are playing. but really, the actual chance of anybody winning is so slight, that i don't think the increase in likelihood of multiple wins is really statistically significant.

Jim of Seattle · Post by **Jim of Seattle** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 9:56 am

Don't get too excited about Ashcroft leaving. On one hand, his true legacy, the Patriot Act, isn't resigning, and secondly, he has stated he won't resign until he has personally approved his successor.

"Let the Eagle Soar" reviews

Listed alphabetically within each category

<font color = green>LESS THAN PRETTY GOOD</font>

John Ashcroft
I gotta wonder what those musicians in the band were thinking as you warbled your way through this trash. Being artistic types, there's every likelihood they didn't agree with your politics, and even greater likelihood they saw this song for the garbage it is. I felt sorry for them. You could almost hear their eyes rolling out of their heads as they plodded along with your embarrassing performance. Both lyrically and musically it's simply a charm bracelet of cliches strung together. Not only that, but the cliches actually contradict each other. If you're going to use them, at least get them straight. So the mighty eagle is soaring, but wait, you said it hadn't yet begun to fly, so, is it soaring, or what? And the whole image of it waiting by the raised lamp outside freedom's door.... huh? Unlistenable.

j$ · Post by j$ » Wed Nov 10, 2004 10:00 am

Perhaps, Richard Ashcroft, super-ugly yet strangely cool drug-addled lead singer of the Verve, would make an ideal successor?

Anyone who says i look like him is on my shit-list

J$

roymond · Post by **roymond** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 2:14 pm

Well, there will be a number of new faces and I suspect each will be further "right" than the last. Take the appointment to the FDA's Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee:

The FDA's Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee makes crucial decisions on matters relating to drugs used in the practice of obstetrics, gynecology and related specialties, including hormone therapy, contraception, treatment for infertility, and medical alternatives to surgical procedures for sterilization and pregnancy termination.

Dr. Hager is the author of "As Jesus Cared for Women: Restoring Women Then and Now." The book blends biblical accounts of Christ healing women with case studies from Hager's practice. His views of reproductive health care are far outside the mainstream for reproductive technology. Dr. Hager is a practicing OB/GYN who describes himself as "pro-life" and refuses to prescribe contraceptives to unmarried women. In the book Dr. Hager wrote with his wife, entitled "Stress and the Woman's Body," he suggests that women who suffer from premenstrual syndrome should seek help from reading the bible and praying.

Time Mag:
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article ... 21,00.html

Further reading from the Union of Concerned Scientists:
http://www.ucsusa.org/global_environmen ... ageID=1360

Post by jb » Wed Nov 10, 2004 2:31 pm

NEWS ALERT | 3:43 PM ET
Bush Picks Alberto Gonzales to Replace John Ashcroft
Alberto Gonzales, the White House counsel and one of President Bush's closest advisers, now faces Senate confirmation.

Leaf · Post by **Leaf** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 2:37 pm

the Jazz wrote:Except if people wait until it's a big jackpot, you have worse chances of actually winning the big one because more people are buying tickets. So I think it evens out that either way buying lotto tickets is a really bad idea.

...unless you're the winner.

Jim of Seattle · Post by **Jim of Seattle** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 3:04 pm

roymond wrote:Scary Dr. Hager horror

*fingers in ears, closes eyes* LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

mkilly · Post by **mkilly** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 3:37 pm

the Jazz wrote:Except if people wait until it's a big jackpot, you have worse chances of actually winning the big one because more people are buying tickets. So I think it evens out that either way buying lotto tickets is a really bad idea.

yeah, like tviyh said, your chances of winning don't change with how many tickets are sold. I'm just sayin', if you're going to throw your money away, you may as well wait until it's comparatively worthwhile to do so. Also: slot machines are stupid. Why do people pour money into slot machines.

mkilly · Post by **mkilly** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 3:43 pm

roymond wrote:hager hager hager

not quite

he was appointed in 2003 and renewed in 2004. it's a done deal.

c hack · Post by **c hack** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 4:38 pm

Well, I can't seem to find any evidence of how he (Gonzales) feels about copyright/DMCA issues, but I'm sure he'll bend over and present his cheeks to Disney like those before him.

And it looks like he's not interested in changing abortion laws, so it looks like just what W said: more of the same.

Hoblit · Post by **Hoblit** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 11:58 pm

c hack wrote:Well, I can't seem to find any evidence of how he (Gonzales) feels about copyright/DMCA issues, but I'm sure he'll bend over and present his cheeks to Disney like those before him.

And it looks like he's not interested in changing abortion laws, so it looks like just what W said: more of the same.

Maybe I'm blinded by optimism because of the joy caused by Ashcroft leaving... but I have the feeling his replacement isnt' going to be nearly as agressive. More of the same...but not MORE.

*Hoblit crosses fingers

roymond · Post by **roymond** » Thu Nov 11, 2004 6:00 am

mkilly wrote:
roymond wrote:hager hager hager
not quite

he was appointed in 2003 and renewed in 2004. it's a done deal.

Yes. I was using it as an example of who this President aims to fills all available slots with. And he's not chairman, I'd like to think, because of the outcry in 2003.

Think about it...we have a Chief Justice of the Supreme Court about to breath his last breath...It's not going to be easy. And the administration will accuse the Senate dems of obstructing the process, even though the Senate republicans blocked FAR MORE judicial nominees of Clinton's.

Now, Alberto Gonzales is a whole nother issue.