It's a title AND a review! (Couldn't Have Been Worse)

[halen99]

Here's the part where I stay up too late reviewing, instead of
getting sleep or writing songs. Reviews shall be short, but not
hostile, unless you done me wrong.


Eddie Lance
Yeah, I'm 25 seconds in, and there's no music. Abort. Oh, wait,
there's a piano. Hmm. Should I abort? Well, why not? There's
nothing to keep me listening, and it's already 55 seconds in. Even
the Windows Media Player visualization has very little to do. It
actually went out for coffee, I think. Car's coming. Hmm. I think
I've made my point. ABORT.

So if you would have listened further you would have found out that the car brought the band and they were late do to a flat tire. They then rocked out but fired the piano player. Windows Player then decided to drink a white russian instread of the coffee he had ordered.

[roymond]

Klownhole have consistantly improved their music and their reviews over the years to the point of being both observant and constructive. This both confounds and amuses. YEAH KLOWNHOLE!

[Meatwad]

Klownhole have consistantly improved their music and their reviews over the years to the point of being both observant and constructive. This both confounds and amuses. YEAH KLOWNHOLE!

Is that true? I think I would need to see hard evidence of that. I find it hard to believe.

[roymond]

Klownhole have consistantly improved their music and their reviews over the years to the point of being both observant and constructive. This both confounds and amuses. YEAH KLOWNHOLE!

Is that true? I think I would need to see hard evidence of that. I find it hard to believe.

Well, in a way it also massively disappoints, but I figured "keep it positive" was the game today

[Meatwad]

Klownhole have consistantly improved their music and their reviews over the years to the point of being both observant and constructive. This both confounds and amuses. YEAH KLOWNHOLE!

Is that true? I think I would need to see hard evidence of that. I find it hard to believe.

Well, in a way it also massively disappoints, but I figured "keep it positive" was the game today

Agreed. I find the accusation alarming. We will have a band meeting this weekend to discuss this perception and how we can address the issue.

[The Anchors]

The Anchors
Are you
rapping or singing?

Talking. And dancing.

[MintyHandy]

This is my first song on my new Casio keyboard. The keyboard comes with built-in beats, but my songs are still totally unique because of how I put it all together. The Casio by itself just loops the premade beat/chord which never changes, so that does not really make not a song. For example, to make the music for "Couldn't Have Been Worse" not just be just an endless boring loop, I:
Chose a tempo, added the Casio intro, chose the best note to start on, used the keyboard to change the chord progression during the song, used their "synchro/fill-in" as the chorus, and used their "ending" as an ending. I then did production in Pro Tools LE, like layering the chorus, EQ, and fading out the end. And, I write the lyrics and create a unique melody that is probably totally different than what somebody else would have done using the same basic Casio beat.

I don't quite know why, but this made me giggle. I think it's because you've never really attempted to defend your use of other people's beats, but here you're defending -- quite vehemently -- your use of modified Casio beats. In short, now that you're starting to get involved with your beats, you're feeling that kind of ownership that makes you want to defend 'em against naysayers like myself. This is a very good thing, and once you've tasted the blood of partial beat ownership, I anticipate that three songs from now you'll be unable to submit a beat that you didn't construct from scratch -- you simply won't allow yourself to do it. I'm looking forward to it.

MintyHandy wrote:

The Anchors
Are you
rapping or singing?

Talking. And dancing.

Also made me giggle.

[Caravan Ray]

You want to know what couldn't be worse? 2 days in frikking Canberra, that's what. I'm writing from Canberra airport , and can't can't wait to get out of this bloody place. This would truly have to be the crappiest national capital on earth.

Reviews to come tonight hopefully

[bwell]

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to comment. There were certainly a lot of songs to get through this time. Here are my thoughts on the entries from this week.

5900-N5 - The percussion reminds me of the Droid Room on the Disney Star Tours ride. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but it gives everything a rather strange vibe. The vocals are interesting and the computerized voice sits much better with the accompaniment. Overall, the melody doesn't work for me (although I do love those higher pitched shifts) and the lyrics aren't quite interesting enough to pull me into the song (probably a stylistic gulf between the horrific setting described and vocals that don't carry much emotion in the delivery). Regardless, it does have a weird quality that is sonically intriguing.

The Anchors - The start (talking) is a tad annoying, but the music is alright. I think the delivery in general isn't to my taste. The "It couldn't be worse" part does have a nice groove to it and the bass, drums, and guitar generally have a nice sound.

The BeWells - Me finally submitting something again after six months of trying.

Billy's Little Trip - Nice rocking feel to this one. The vocal style is one that I typically wouldn't enjoy, but it works nicely here. The playing, arrangement, and mix are also pretty good on this. It has been steadily growing on me throughout the week. It did not get close enough for vote contention, but did come close.

Caravan Ray - Good work on the music. It has a great sense of space to it. I think the vocals are the weakest link for me. I don't disklike them as much as the wordiness has an awkward feel. I'm also not into the reverse vocal lines as much unless they are buried even deeper in the mix. Overall, this is a good one.

Carpetburn - I generally like this. The style and sound work well enough. It could certainly use some more polish, but considering this was done in three hours it is pretty good.

c hack - On the first listen, I could understand the comments about this being more like a intro that never quite builds or goes anywhere. But, once I heard it and was able to listen again without that anticipation it really grew on me. It is short and simple, but it sounds good and has a great payoff lyrically.

Closest Dark Vepun ind. - I don't like this one nearly as much as I want to. Something about the styling hits me as more of James Bond meets Danny Elfman. The lyrics are a little too dark and almost sound more fitting of a Jack Skellington song, instead of the playfulness I'd normally associate with Bond. I guess there is also a little bit of theatricality in the delivery that enhances that effect. However, it's certainly not bad and I can overlook the synth strings and guitar. It is enjoyable, but not as much as I wanted it to be. Oh, nice horns.

Dangerous Croutons - I have played around with that opening loop in Garageband, so it kind of throws me off in the wrong direction. And then it is there under most of the song making things too monotonous. Although, I guess that is fitting given the lyrics. Otherwise, this does have a good sound to it. Nice touch with the EBow sounding guitar part.

The Darkest Daves - I really like this one. While I do not typically listen to much darker synth stuff, it still works well for me. It does feel like it could be cleaned up a little with more time, but overall I love the balance between the vocals and synth parts and there is just enough going to keep it interesting. The accent and vocal style fits well with the lyrics. This one is definitely a vote contender.

DJ Big Fanny - I cannot get into this one, but there are some nice spots. It does not really feel like a coherent song that goes anywhere as much as pieces spliced together.

DooRite + Rankenstein - This ends up a bit too rambling for my tastes. Most of it is alright, but I think the lyrics don't really hold up as well as the other elements. Each section seems to only loosely tie back into the "couldn't have been worse" theme instead of hitting a specific story or idea.

Eddie Lance - This reminds me of some of those spoken comedy sketches that I used to listen to on the Dr. Demento show back in the late 80s. Except it feels a bit too slow and kind of goes where I expected it to go. It is fun for what it is, but not quite a song.

Fine Tuvan Dining - This was certainly a bit lo-fi, but fun none-the-less. The Tuvan throat singing immitation certainly makes this one a lot more fun. It has a great novelty appeal.

Flvxxvm Forvm - I love the raw, classic feel of this recording. The electric is maybe a bit too harsh to me, but not too bad given the older sound. After several listens, I think the countryish vocal style could be toned down or done with more of a classic rock feel to improve the sound. Overall, this one is nicely done and a fun listen.

The Hell Yeahs - I love the sound of this song and it gets better with each listen. While I don't dislike the lyrics, they don't quite hit me as strongly as others have in the past. Apart from that the vocal delivery, accompaniment, and production are great. This is one of the top three in the running for my vote.

Hoosier Daddy - For the most part I like this song. The song itself lyrically and the arrangement are nicely done. As mentioned elsewhere, the vocals pull things down slightly. It's hard to quantify, but there is a laxness to them that strains or just misses the pitch here and there in a way that sounds like it should be better instead of being some quirky stylistic choice. Also, something about the mix sounds a little boxy (especially after listening to The Hell Yeahs) without much highend cutting through. Otherwise, this sounds good and is a pretty solid song.

Klownhole - Wonderfully fun! I think you pretty much hit what you tried to do and there's little point in nitpicking over production issues. This is the type of song you crank up and enjoy. "Let's make this a dance..." had me laughing pretty good at the end there.

Masterhyde - This has a good flow and a nice overall sound, but feels a little weaker than some of the past entries. I think Minty Handy pretty much hit the sentiment on the head. I have definitely enjoyed listening to your entries over that past couple of months.

MC Eric B - The song is certainly a bit rough to listen to, but it is good to see you are making a stab at a more hands-on approach to the music. Keep working on that side of it. The lyrics seem to be your strongest area. I think I liked some of the raps a bit more from that perspective, but there are some good parts in this song as well.

Melvin - This is easily one of the most polished sounding songs in the mix. After playing it a few times in the car it holds up well. The guitars are simply thick and beautiful whenever they kick in...awesome sound. This is near the top of my picks for this fight, but slightly out of vote contention due to stylistic preference.

mico saudad - Are there actually only two pure guy and guitar entries? I think that makes this sit nicely in the lineup. I like the first half of the song a bit more before the extra vocals kick in. It could be cleaner or more precise with the vocal balance and intonation, but it does end up giving it a bit more energy. For me the last bit gets a little too repetitive.

Phil's First Tambourine - It's only thirty seconds, but one listen was enough. I find entries like this that sound more like a group of friends fooling around to be a little too annoying.

PiGPEN - I'm not quite sure why, but there is something I like about the vocal delivery. The quick pace and tranny hooker vocal work nicely. Lyrically, the first verse is much better than the second. The vocal flow seems to break a bit with the wording on certain lines in the second part...and "hump" and "trunk" seem a bit overused these days thanks to that "My Humps" song. The backing is adequate and works alright for the style. I don't love the song, but it definitely catches my ear in a good way.

Ross Durand - This was my favorite song after the first pass. Everything is well-structured. The lyrics have a vague quality, but that works well for this character. The slide solo was a great touch and added an edginess to the song right when it needed it. The style on this one is a great fit for your voice. Most of the things I would pick on are smaller details (clarity in the acoustic guitar tone, wanting a bit more complexity in the solo, and a couple of the effect choices). This is still one of the top contenders for me after several listens. For some reason I kept wanting to hear this one done up by someone like Lucinda Williams adding a more raw, gritty element...that's where that solo helped to hit the right spot.

Saint Cale - This is a great sounding song. The female vocal has a great tone and is a nice departure from the other songs in this fight. I also like the instrumentation used; it all sounds good with a nice balance sitting well in the mix. The tremolo guitar and solo electric add just the right touches. The drawback for me is that there is not much depth or story to the song, but it does set a wonderful mood. This is close (especially due to my love of this genre), but just out of the running for a vote.

Shael Riley - I generally like the sound of this song. The lyrics never quite do anything for me, but it sounds good throughout and has a great catchy feel to it. I think this is the one that popped into my head more than any other this past week. The great vocal work and nice organ bits do a lot for this and keep it interesting even when the story doesn't grab me.

ShoehornTC - The feel of this one is generally alright, but does not quite have enough energy to hold me. The kazoo-like bits are an interesting touch that somehow work. Coming in at over five minutes is too much. By the halfway point things are dragging a little and simply keep going on to the end. It's not bad by any means, but in a field this big it does not have that spark needed to put it over the top.

ShotPounder - This one goes a bit outside my preferences, so the vocal style is not one I enjoy. There is a great energy to the song and the guitars and drums sound good. Lyrically things are a bit too cruel for my tastes, but then again that does fit right in with the title. Overall, though it does not sound bad as much as there is some genre bias coming into play.

signboy - This is another song that reminded me of something I would have heard Dr. Demento playing years ago. The Murphy reference is a good approach and fitting for this title. That little chorus thing is the part that loses me. Otherwise, the talking bits have a good sound to them...a little bit cheesy but great for the style.

Superteen - After listening to thirty songs, the title is rather fitting when this comes on. There is not really anything that draws me into this song, so I don't have much else to say.

After several listens to almost all of the songs, my top three favorites are The Darkest Daves, The Hell Yeahs, and Ross Durand. I have been going back and forth on the vote and am still trying to make up my mind. BLT, Melvin, and Saint Cale were right behind them.

[Phil. Redmon.]

Thanks for the reviews, everybody!
Dunno if I'll have time to get to writing some myself, but who knows?
Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say some of you guys are real fucking assholes!

Take it easy!

[Spud]

Don't encourage them, Phil.

[Ross]

So I just submitted my song for next week. I tend to prioritize that over writing reviews. Anyway - I just wanted to say thanks for all the reviews I've received, I always consider the suggestions/criticisms and appreciate the compliments. All-in-all I'd say the reviews support that I succeeded artistically this week, and I especially appreciated those from Meatwad and Mr. Bewell.

[it's late - I apologize for any typos]

Here' a super short run down looking at the the list (I've been listening in my car a lot). Perhaps I'll get more detailed comments up - it's hard to say.

5900-N5 - Some interesting sounds, but altogether not my thing. Sometimes it soudsn liekt he vocal and backing tracks were created separately and then assembled.

The Anchors - rocked ok, but the content didn't get me and it felt a little long because of that

BeWells - Beautiful as always, those of us with voices like me really envy guys with voices like you. But it's not just the voice, it's the song and arrangement too. This one also felt slightly long to me (genre bias?), but on a rainy night with fire and wine, this would be great. Top Tier

BLT - liked this alot - one of my favorites of yours so far. All of the elements seem to be there. Top Tier - possible vote

Caravan Ray - I kept waiting for the sex reference....nice song, I like the overall sound. your voice sounds good as always. Another one that felt slightly long to me, content wise, but very listenable. Ilike you better doing the serious stuff tan the "campy" stuff. Top Tier.

Carpetburn - well executed, but muchof this seems like complexity for complexities sake.

c hack - initially I like this. I like that you take your time. you lost me when you got to Velociraptor rapists.

closest dark... - some good ideas here, but it ultimately doesn't pack the punch. Largely becasue I thinkt he lyrics are a bit too self aware, and too literal compared ot most bond themes. But much of it is excellently done. Tune, guitar, brass, etc..

Dangerous croutons - I have song bias [Edit: I listened again this morning and there is more song here than I remembered. But I assume the fact that I didn't remember speaks fairly strongly as well.]

Darkest DAves - i like this, but I was an 80s kid - genre bias in your favor. Too long perhaps - all else is in place. Near top tier.

DJ, etc.. - nevermind

Doo rite - you lost me on the intro. It I kept going , but hte song just didn't go anywhere overall.

Eddie Lance - not a song - not a "punch line" worth the wait.

fine Tuvan - I really like hte sound at the beginning but didn't really go fro the "development" with the throat chanting. It felt more like a gimick than something that served a song.

Fluxxum - ehh. Sounded like beach boys with distortion - the underlying blues song was not enough to carry it for me.

Hell Yeahs - this rocks okay, but I was not sucke din like I am to some of your others, teh "chorus" hook line felt thrown away, in part. Good but not quite there for me. Well executed as always.

hoosier - you need a lot more reverb on your voice - Just kidding. Nice bar band riff feel. Some of the rhymes feel forced and I have ot say that while a lot of this is fun beer rock, I don't really dig the rhythm on the title line. Something about hte way the syllables lie. Ok, but not great. Pretty good middle eight - but the get screwed line seems sophomoric to me.

Klownhole - I don't get this one.

Masterhyde - eh, story doesn't interest me and I feel like from song to song your vocal rhythms seem pretty repetetive. That makes it hard for me to review this on its own terms - but i like your delivery style.

MC Eric B - the song isn't totally awful. But the performance gets int eh way soooo much. It makes it hard ot get through. nice that you're stretching - but at this point it still sounds like a stretch.

Melvin - one of your best in my book. I think I've said in a review before that I feel you sometimes excel in presentation but lack in content, and I feel like your content is much stronger here. I would have liked one more "real" verse to develop this, but still Top Tier

Mico - pretty, nice melodic work, the big build up at the end didn't work for me and that takes alot away from the overall song since it felt like you were sort of hanging the song on it. Looking forward to seeing you in Culver City

Phil's - only got all the way through once.

Pigpen - I likethis alot - I want to hear the Hell Yeahs cover it. nicely put together in so many ways. As careful as it is, the overly crass wording of the ending just steals it out of vote territory. Top Tier.

Saint Cale (a VU reference?)- Beautiful, I wish i had the mans version of your voice. I wish tehre was a smidge more devlopment lyrically and formally. But I think it captures a moment well. tehmore I listened the more I was sure that despite the surface similarities, our songs sound differnet because they are saying different things with similar tools. Top Tier -

Shael Riley - neat sound, like lightning seeds. good hook and tune - I don't care about the story. Very listenable, but not top tier.

Shoehorn - nice sensibilites and harmonies. I'm not sure I get the content/musi connection. Very listenable, however.

Shotpounder- yes, you rock.

sign boy - I like primus - like Harold of hte been worse, but not that good. Fun, but doesn't quite kill. i do like the Murphy thing and the chorus is appropriately wierd.

Superteen - I didn't enjoy this very much and didn't really think the lyrics made that much said. I agree witha previous reviewer that there are many much worse names than Superteen. I also don't like the way you leave it hangin on "Why did my Parent's name me?" Who the hell else was going to ...teh extended interruption attempt didn;t work for me.

Avery listenable fight for the most part, but if I get at the song underneath...
my top tier is.BeWells, BLT, Ray, DAves (what the heck), Melvin, PiPen, Saint Cale

Oh, and I like mine, too

[Phil. Redmon.]

Don't encourage them, Phil.

Sorry, yeah, i know.

Anuses aside, I would like to address the vocal delivery, which many have commented on.

It seems like many people think that the delivery isn't "in yo face" or confrontational enough, not "raw" enough.
I can see how they might think that, given the tempo/style of the song. It is, however, a bit of a love song, with one character trying to convey a sense of longing to another, with a dash of "well, you kinda fucked up, dummy."

As the listener is actually a third party to this song, I would hope they would excuse the absence of vocal aggression, since, like, you know, she's singing directly to Ramona.

also: i love the frustrated feist of the "punchin' out the drywall" line.


(if you want a song directed at you, personally, songfighters, please consult Abominominous' Sincerity Machine.)

[SaintCale_Trey]

Saint Cale (a VU reference?)

Different J. Cale. Add one more J. and you're there...

[Paco Del Stinko]

Uh-oh...here comes the fuzz! Looks like a good cop and a bad cop!

5900-n5 - Good cop - Looks like the perp enjoys bubbling dish detergent rhythms. Percolating with a life of its own. Active and lively.
- Bad cop - We'd better bust him for letting Yoko in to scream periodically. Aw, just give him a warning.
The Anchors - Good cop - No trouble for those drums. Sound nice and within code. Good suspenseful build and layering, the pulsing beat keeps it all going in an orderly fashion.
- Bad cop - Might need to cite for the lackluster ending and some of the suspense was able to escape the dragnet by songs end. Still nothing to bring'em in on.
The Bewells - Good cop - Effortless sounding playing, so smooth and toneful. This guys voice doesn't break any regulations that I can think of. Well written and performed, dark but not overly moody.
- Bad cop - Huh? Sorry, I was contemplating...something. I could stare out the windows at the grey afternoon thinking about regret or something while listening to this. I want to bust someone! (but I'll unwind to this later at home)
BLT - Good cop - Put the siren on, we're stepping on the gas! We've got a 10 - 60 in progress! The fist pumping chorus is effective as is the overall rockitude here. Papers appear to be well in order.
- Bad cop - I say we nail him for playing some Japanese video game theme as a guitar solo. I'm getting my cuffs and...let him go. I got nothin'.
Caravan Ray - Good cop - This feller is serious, but he sounds confident, not wimpy or sniveling. Almost traditional folky sounding at its core, the mood of this slips over your shoulders like a shawl. Bass playing a quiet but strong role here.
- Bad cop - What's that, pal? A seppo? I ain't Italian! Now come a little further out of the cave so I can hear your voice clearer! Yeah, I thought so.
Carpetburn - Good cop - I see colored ping pong balls bouncing all about. This is airy and zipping forward at an appropriate speed. The synchopated off timey stuff is encouraged under current regulations.
- Bad cop - You! You with the microphone! Stop wandering so much or I'll write you up! You can strut about without going too far. And I'm warning you to turn down that left side guitar! Sounds great, but you're blowing my ear out!
C Hack - Good cop - Stand up straight so I can see you better. OK. You're not a bad guy, just slouching a bit. I like your attitude and your patient flow is rather soothing to me. You're not out to hurt anyone, and I dig your mood. I mean, you're free to go.
- Bad cop - You on drugs or lack of sleep? Either one wouldn't allow you to finish this song. I'll keep an eye on you and hope you come back. Now stand up straight and beat it!
Closestdarkvepunid - Good cop 007 is 10 - 42 with me! This arrangement displays proper utilization of current and traditional Bondian themes. Horns are fantastic and the melody fits well.
- Bad cop - The melody fits well, but doesn't stick around long afterwards. I know you have to work with what you have, but a female would have sold this so much better. Sure, sure kid - you had one all lined up! Neat you'll tell me some asshole was going to play baritone guitar on it! Get out of here before I slap you with a misdemeanor for losing your Shirley Bassey!
Dangerous Croutons - Good cop - Those stacked vocals seem to be working well. They fit, and help maintain a grounding of sorts. They meet regulation as do the heady swirls. Clear to pass.
- Bad cop - Are you trying to make me too dizzy, buster? Almost worked. It looks like you almost tossed this one off quickly, but I won't write you up for it. Tuck in that little corner of your shirt-tail and vamoose!
The Darkest Daves - Good cop - Well, I see that you've made another trip out of the past to bring us some black lipped mood. You have a free pass to dance in front of the mirror, as long as it's by yourself. Well composed and balanced, it makes me want to trade in the squad car for a little Fiat and drive around 'the Continent'.
- Bad cop - Just what's this now? Couldn't find a hair metal singer this week so you traded the guitars for keyboards? Get back to the amp room, you little punk! I don't care how good this is, take off!
DJ Big Fanny - Good cop - Are you a dick or a fanny? I see your scissors are nice and sharp and your confidence helps keep you out of trouble. Permit's in order.
- Bad cop - Are you kidding me? What is this? Are you stuttering about yourself or the assigned title? I'm turning you in to your probation officer for a: not following basic guidelines posted at Songfight and b: having a big fanny.
DooRite N rankenstein - Good cop - The opening stoner progression and mood work well, as does the pop corn section later. Your atmospherics work well by using a little at a time. No musical codes broken out-right here.
- Bad cop - OK wise guy. So you had some scruffy ideas early on and then couldn't find any more later, huh? And quit mumbling, you! Not you, the other guy. Now both of yas bend over for a swift kick in the pants. Write as smart as your music hints you can be. Now scram.
Eddie Lance - Good cop - Mr. Soundtrack pops in again, huh? Another little aural drama. Quit snickering, Denyer! The last I remember was a wife driving off to be killed so this is a bit lighter and...oh wait a minute. Your construction permits check out, and story without visual pans out, but you're in trouble.
- Bad cop - Pursey, huh? Come with me, we're going downtown!
Fine Tuvan Dining - Good cop - I enjoy your story, youngster, if light. Sunny and easy, this is almost like a memory from summer. Sparse instrumentation used properly. He's clean.
- Bad cop - You sound a little smarmy to me, like you think you know better than me. Do you think you know better than me? You just might. But I'm writing you a ticket for daring to think so!
Flvxxm Florvm - Good cop - Good timey party music? I can see this playing as you kids drink beer at a small house gathering. Simple and effective, it's a toe tapper. No 10 - 86 here!
- Bad cop - So Mr. Fluoride, you think you can live in the sixties forever? Don't give me that timeless-ness-ss run around! I should take you to the county pen for getting a Bobby Brady organ sound in there! Ticket! Stop tripping over your feet and take your ticket, preacher boy!
The Hell Yeahs - Good cop - You're right at the speed limit, people. Good thing your rhythm is tight and those vocals keep you safe. I'm glad you're playful and serious at the same time, I could cite you for making me rock against my will, but I'm always willing.
- Bad cop - Been smoking some Waitresses this morning? Thought I caught a teeny whiff, but it went as quickly as it came. You guys check out fine, but I'm keeping an eye out in case you come up with a snid-bit more to add this this. Add what, you say? Add a ticket to your pile for making me want more! Now skee-daddle! (sir and ma'am)
Hoosier Daddy - Good cop - Looks like this bar in the heartland is having a fun time, no trouble here. They're playing with hooks and although they grab you, they don't hurt. Seems like loose fun to me.
Bad cop - Loose fun, huh? Maybe they're trying too hard to have fun? Oh - not enough time, is it? I'm sending you home with a warning to do some more, and not worry about your peers too much. Now git!
Klownhole - Good cop - I recognize the good nature behind this fierce wall. All instruments and vocal timbres exceed regulations, and I would consider exemplory and in outstanding conditon. Why, I feel like I'm standing face first into the storm and liking it.
- Bad cop - I see that your song time is 3:33. Halfway to 666. Are one of you the child of Satan? I'm writing you up for having an un-holy member.
Masterhyde - Good cop - Your documents check out, and your voice appears to be both sounding fine and clear. Your infectious rhythm has been checked and noted. No articles to suspend here.
- Bad cop - Slowww down, pardner. Didn't we already warn you about breaking up your patterns here? I know I'm no expert, but can you change parts of your delivery up? A little pepper with the salt? You're a smart, nice kid, so go home and keep working on that fine talent you have. Now take a hike.
MC Eric B - Good cop - Mmm. Nice loving feel. Effort appears to be sincere, and clearly presented. This isn't harming anyone, is it?
- Bad cop - Are you crazy? I am fining you for flagrant violation of the no optimism clause.
Melvin - Good cop - Properly electrified and melodically sound, there is an organic feel to this, yet it still sounds huge. Soars where it needs to and has genuine feel. A top of the line '07 Melvin.
- Bad cop - You're not concealing a Jesus in the trunk are you? No sneaky Jesus! OK! Open up that trunk!
Mico Saudad - Good cop - Permit please? Ah, yes. You are approved for both singing and guitar playing in a natural and free flowing manner. Mm-hmm. It appears as though this song is somehow both spontaneous and having been around for a while.
- Bad cop - Calm yerself, echo box. You can't be written up for pushing boundaries and exploring, but settle down a wee bit with the voices or I'll have to get tough. Oh you don't think so, eh? Take off, mood ring!
Phils First Tambourine - Good cop - Ah, frolicking youth! Swell, huh partner?
- Bad cop - Where's my nightstick? You kids better run! And don't let me catch you here without an effort again! Hooligans.
pIgpen - Good cop - I see that you have sent your production machine to the cleaners. Sounds nice. It builds structures and riffs solidly and drives them home. Is that an electric hearse? I need to see papers. Yeah, a little unclear here...
- Bad cop - Bust him. He's guilty of hamster torture, I'm sure of it. Off to the hoose-gow, wit'cha!
Ross Durand - Good cop - A dark tale with a streetlights illumination. Very well constructed, this provides a pleasant experience without losing its cool. Well played and performed all around, I see no evidence of a 10 - 18 infraction here.
- Bad cop - We understand your situation, Mr. Durand, and are willing to overlook any slight hints of tiredness in the vocal. Yes sir, we understand. Now, if you keep pegging the electric treble, we'll have to chat again. Good day to you, sir, and drive safely.
Saint Cale - Good cop - Open sounding and moodily patient, the varied textures here meet current safety regulations. Wise instrumentation tells alot with a little. Appropriate sad-ish tone, no crime here.
- Bad cop - You kids seem a little hesitant. Are you hiding something? Not letting us see the whole picture? Aw, don't worry - I wouldn't bust ya if you were to go little faster. Just a little! Now shoo.
Shael Riley - Good cop - That's the most infectious Zamboni music ever! Upbeat and sunny can't get you in too much trouble, right?
- Bad cop - Listen up, wise guy. You're getting that melody all stuck in my head, but you could soften its approach somehow. I start feeling like I had too much coffee with Billy Joel or somebody. Hit the trail, bosom buddy.
Shoehorn TC - Good cop - Nice to see you taking your time. The layers work well here, not cluttering anything up. I suspected a 10 - 53 here, but it appears as though you're clear.
- Bad cop - My head is floating! My head is floating! When i get back down I'll write you up for making me swim up here!
ShotPounder - Good cop - You boys got a registration card for those drums? How about that vocalist? Well, we're all allowed to make drunk sounding rock if we want to, so long as your papers are approved.
- Bad cop - Did the boys playing quit before the singer? Do I need to get fine you for potty mouth? You're lucky I don't know who you are...yet!
Signboy - Good cop - Under the influence of Digital Primus. It appears as though you're licensed to imbibe verses, but I'm not sure about the choruses. Pard?
- Bad cop - Take him in for not varying the textures here. Hey sport, didn't you see the memo about one trick ponies? Oh, you didn't? Well you'll see it downtown - take him away!
Superteen - Good cop - License. Registration. Mm-hmm. Registered, but still on a permit. Sounds like a harpsichord, super...what?
- Bad cop - Listen super bean, you take what you get, OK? Now you give us a little more. I'm taking your keys away, now get on your bike and pedal.

Apologies to all who like well done cop talk, as this is obviously not.

[glennny]

Sorry these are incomplete. I thought I would at least post what I had so far before the winner's were announced. I only got through 17, I hope to do the rest tomorrow.


5900-N5 (Sp00ns)- 1st of all I love the name! That cracked me up, I like how the robots are slowly taking you over. This is very interesting, I dig it. I like to hear Cynthia stretching out. Juxtaposed with your vocals works very well. Very Cool track! I imagine you're looking forward to the new Cornelius album as much as I am.

Anchors- Love the live drums and bass. Vocals are cool too. Verse is great, I'm captivcated, but the chorus is a big let down. Not much of a pay-off. Still good playing, very cool vocals. You guys are a good band, I look forward to a more inspired track!

The BeWells- Great harmonies, nice guitar finger picking. Great singing. Song doesn't really grab me. It sounds like "quality rock". Excellent playing.

Billy's Little Trip- This is Paco on bass yeah? I can't really distinguish the bass as much as i would hope. Nice rocking tune! Cool vocals! Very Offspring. Good stuff.

Caravan Ray- Wow that's reverby. I like the groovy acoustic strumming. Everything else seems a bit "phoned in".

Carpetburn- Oh yeah!! We have a contender! The band is sooo quirky tight cool! My favorite part is right after the 1st chorus and we have the guitar punching rhythms for the 2nd verse. I always dig FPedro's vox, there's a shakey note early in the song which is unfortunate, because the vocals are pretty great for most of the song. Drums are awesome, bass is tight! This is a keeper. Love it!

C Hack- I don't like where this fall alphabetically. This is a very enjoyable bookend to this epic fight. I like it as track 31. This is very good a moody. It's a very albumy tune. i can't imagine this as a single on the radio, but it's lovely, I enjoy the Hell out of it, I'm keeping it. Good stuff!

Closest Dark Vepun Ind- Music is bad ass! If it was in French I'd think it'd belong on the Triplets of Bellville soundtrack. Vocals are good, a little too upfront in the mix for my tastes, just a bit that is. Thsi is a possible vote.

Dangerous Croutons- I like this a lot. I wish there were real drums. I don't much like the drum machine sound on this. This is a very cool track in a Broken Social Scene kinda way.

The Darkest Daves- Sounds like a goth "I will survive". Not really into this.

DJ Big Dick- Not into it.

Doorite N Rankenstein- tedious.

Eddie Lance- I'm not into the skit or the concept, but i like the miandering piano.

Jeremy Bornstein- Very hissy, but nice harmonies and vibe. The droning vocals are cool. The panning back and forth is annoying. I like this a lot. I wish you'd quit with the pan knob. Keeping this. Nice track, I just need to skip it if I'm listening on headphones.

Flvxxm Florvm- A very straight song. Very lo-fi. I basically wait for the guitar solos on this track. The tone is strange, but some good licks. This would be stronger with more guitar solos and less obvious song.

The Hell Yeahs- Very cool ! This is a contender. This rocks. I'd love to hear a higher production value song from you guys some day. The material is great! Sassy!

Dan-O from Five-O- No complaints on this one. I love where this one sits. Nice tight song-writing, nice guitar melody.

Again, I apologize I haven't gotten to the latter 18 yet, I'll do my best to do them soon.

Good fight!

I voted for Melvin, but it broke my heart I couldn't vote for Carpetburn as well. Maybe I listen to too much Carpetburn outside of SongFight, this was a great Carpetburn track, but the Melvin song really grabbed my attention. Awesome tune Melvin!
[/b]

[Meatwad]

Klownhole - Good cop - I recognize the good nature behind this fierce wall. All instruments and vocal timbres exceed regulations, and I would consider exemplory and in outstanding conditon. Why, I feel like I'm standing face first into the storm and liking it.
- Bad cop - I see that your song time is 3:33. Halfway to 666. Are one of you the child of Satan? I'm writing you up for having an un-holy member.

This is now my favorite review ever. It's goin' up on the fridge.

[PiGPEN]

the overly crass wording of the ending just steals it out of vote territory.

What was overly crass? The gunplay/sexplay wordplay?

[xan]

Limited (and late) time this week. Chris and xan say:

The BeWells - Lovely. Really like this song - a keeper!

Melvin - *Melvinfans* Awesome melvin yet again. */melvinfans*. Fun, catchy. Global warming? Who cares. Score: 9/9 Melvins.

Ross Durand - Hit on a style that sounds really good for you. Makes me think of Dire Straits. Nice.

Flvxxvm Florvm - Finally an entry we dig. Toned back the fuzz and turned up the good. Fun to hum along to the religious radicality.

Shael Riley - A f*****g tune. We like that. Vocals like Savage Garden. A little mechanical sounding.

Carpetburn - Rating 6.5/9 Melvins. Nice style, but mix a bit thin - maybe more depth in hte harmonies.

Klownhole - a Klownhole tune thats a bit more accessable. Still don't *like* it as such, but can smell the quality .

Superteen - Is this the Adam Sandler tribute we were expecting? Are you concealing ravens? If so~ props. Slightly better recording. Synth guitar thoroughly unconvincing - drop in favor of just the synth.

The Hell Yeahs - Sounds exactly like a band thus called should sound!

[Billy's Little Trip]

BLT - Good cop - Put the siren on, we're stepping on the gas! We've got a 10 - 60 in progress! The fist pumping chorus is effective as is the overall rockitude here. Papers appear to be well in order.
- Bad cop - I say we nail him for playing some Japanese video game theme as a guitar solo. I'm getting my cuffs and...let him go. I got nothin'.

HaHaHa!!! You bahrstid. I hate video games.

[blue]

Saint Cale (a VU reference?)

Different J. Cale. Add one more J. and you're there...

ok, that made me listen to your tune. great mix, altho waaaaay too straight of a tune for my taste.

turn in jj cale covers every week.

[DJ Big Dick]

i think i should clarify that DJ Big Fanny is not a name I chose, but rather what the fightmaster gave me. This goes for all other names I've been entered under, including but not limited to:

DJ Big Duck
DJ Big Richard
DJ Big Doodle