It's in the chorus man....the music is great...just need to connect the chorus vox melody with that resolve and you're there. You're almost there anyhow...great track!Billy's Little Trip wrote: Yeah, it wasn't a real grabby song and I couldn't muster up a hook for the life of me on this one. Any suggestions?
Graynbow Review Thread
-
thehipcola
- Niemöller
- Posts: 1062
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:51 am
- Instruments: The things what make sounds.
- Recording Method: LA610mk2 into UAD Apollo 8p into Cubase/LUNA/Reaper/Ableton/Reason/Maschine
- Submitting as: thehipcolaredcargertFlamingTigershotpounderOGLawnDartsFussyBritchesGapingMaw
- Location: Ottawa, Canada
- Contact:
Last edited by thehipcola on Tue Mar 27, 2007 1:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-
Mostess
- Orwell
- Posts: 806
- Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 5:49 am
- Instruments: Vocal, guitar, keyboard, clarinet
- Recording Method: Ardour 5, JACK, Ubuntu
- Submitting as: Hostess Mostess
- Pronouns: He/him
- Location: Ann Arbor, MI
- Contact:
Okay, fine. Reviews. Just don't come complaining if you don't like yours. Some of these entries sucked!
Winners:
Spinlock:
A deep bow to you, sir! Elegant and passionate at the same time. A singable melody built for the drunk and sober alike. A modernized version of the 80s-ish antiwar anthem. The lyrics are a bit stark for me ("like an abscess", "tools were stored(?)"), but I know I run a little on the abstruse side. I will listen to this many times, and likely play it on my guitar to check my tuning. I'd lose the reliance on double-tracked vocals, I think, but I'm a sucker for those, too. The ending could be tighter, but since it's nice and short (2:32!) as is, it's fine. A winner.
HipWreckd:
I love this! It keeps falling apart and putting itself back together. The ABA form is awesome. A tasty treat. Many thanks.
Billy's Little Trip:
I used to do a songwriting exercise with my friend: he'd write a plausible but awkward chord progression, and I'd write a melody that made it sound like it made sense. This sounds like the best kind of result from that. That B-section "could you still hear it call/did it pull you back in again" is awesome. That it's followed by that C-section Bowie rock-out thing is even better. Really nice.
Favorites:
c Hack:
A really good song. Nothing fancy. I like the soft/loud contrasts: it's very expressive. I like the guitar sound and your voice is unapologetic. Solid.
Carpetburn:
Clear crisp mix. Open and interesting sound. Head bobbing groove. Lyrical imagery is effective. Things happen, things change, instruments have well-defined roles. The soft, despiration echo vocal is really good. A nice device and not overused. Guitar parts are really clever, especially around 3:40. Guitar arrangement reminds me of the Sundays "Blind" album somehow: perfect for a rainy day. Which is excellent. Long for me, but I'm tired.
Thanks Glenny for the Frisbee:
Lush and pretty, mesmerizing. This breathes really well. Phrasing is beautiful. The (backward? magnetically driven? feedbacked?) guitar is lovely.
Cynthia Size and the @electric spOOns:
Chromatic progression is effective and spooky, matches the odd synth (I just got the joke name!) vocals really well. Moody and interesting at the same time---no small feat. I need a little more melody, but that's just me: there's plenty going on and cool interplays everywhere. Why not take the synth vocal for a spin, though: really high, really loud, oddly and impossibly rhythmic, etc. Good job overall.
Steakhaus:
Sounds like Octothorpe under all that static! I love the energy of this and the stops and restarts. The crescendo scream is really cool. Drums sound really clear. The ending is creepy.
Syd and Me:
I have a soft spot in my heart for the kids. And the Keep it Simple philosophy is always a winner. Very nice.
No Ghost:
Creepy cool. I like the old tape stuff in the back. I've used that effect myself, albeit accidentally. Very Syd Barret of you, and sweet. I could use a little more oomph here or there, but it's a goodie overall.
Klownhole:
Cute. I'm keeping tabs: is this Klownhole more drunk or less drunk? I think I prefer more drunk than this. But I don't want you to hurt yourselves. And what does this have to do with the title? Just kidding. Ha ha. I'm funny, too. I'm going to go out on a limb that if I stop this at 2:30, I will have saved myself some time. But I like it.
Okay:
Mico Saudad:
Spend more time, please. A nice start with some interesting sounds and building to something. But it's entirely unfinished: it needs another section at least. You could have spent 15 more minutes mixing and made it sound much better (background vox are way too loud, hard panning is disconcerting, compression on bass/drum is too heavy...) Something good waiting to happen.
Lyricburgler:
Drums are nice, until the congas come in too loud. Melisma chorus is awkward. Chorus-y bridge doesn't fit well. Spoken asides are silly. Doo doo doo's are cute. Remember Grovy Coleslaw's "Shaving in the Dark"? It's like that---harsh, half-hearted and empty.
Signboy:
Sloppy and floppy, and noisy. I like the Rush feel of the verses, and the vocal arrangement on the chorus (good choice to isolate it at the end), but even that's too sloppy. It sounds like you've got two decent hooks (the verse and chorus) taped together instead of a song. They just alternate and repeat. I need some more structure.
Merkaba:
Cliched and dull. I like the verses, but the chorus falters---vocal sounds awkward (too loud, overcompressed), the rhythm is too downbeat-heavy. Needs something to build to: it starts loud and monotonous, and then has nowhere to go. The vocal mix towards the end is nice.
Queen Anthony's Lace:
I don't know where to put this. I like the meta-production---the obvious tape-sped castration, the constant rubbing of hand-held condensor mic sound, the tinniness of the instruments. I really like the Prince-ish chorus. But the narration is clumsy, the premise is tacky (just a list of red things, orange things, yellow...yawn). If anyone learns about Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper" from this, it will have done some good. Otherwise, it's a cute failure.
MC Eric B.:
Break up your couplets: this is very boxy. Write a couple lines that are shorter or longer than others. Get off at least one chord sooner than you want to. Repeat a word occasionally---revel in the sound of the words. This is right down the middle of the road and ends up boring and trite. Emulating Cash's drawl (I'm assuming) won't save you.
Double Helix:
Find the groove, man! You're rocking out on nothing. There might be something here, but I can't quite find it. And I'm listening hard. Guitar doesn't follow the click track very well, and is way too soft. Bass noodles too much: doesn't track the progression, such as it is. Keyboard noodling and random and pointless. Vocals have moments of inspiration, but mostly it sounds improvised and rushed. Write. Then record.
Jolly Roger:
You lost me entirely at the instrumental. It was only by a thread. The energy is dulled by the compression and loud loud guitar. The drum solo killed it even further. Again, the songwriting takes a back seat to the relentlessness of noise. I don't hear a hook, or even much of a melody. Just kind of mushy.
Pipefist:
This rubs me wrong. I like the vocal stuff at the 2-minute mark. But the toe-tapping strum doesn't gel well with the clunky keyboard. It goes on too long with too many odd things changing for no real reason. The upbeat sad song is hard for me to like (a la Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn") even when it's tight. The end is lame, especially for a song with a beat: a fade out would have been fine.
Inexcusable:
Eddie Lance:
You've got to be kidding me. Hang your head in shame as you listen to yourself play nearly three minutes of semi-pensive finger exercises straight out of the Windham Hill For Beginners (Large Print Edition), hoping that someone will be sad enough about 9th chords that they'll think "yeah mean, gray rainbow, man..." At least try. Or you're 12 years old, in which case: pretty good, kid, but come back after you've skinned your knees a few more times.
Cranial Biffida:
This is plodding and weak. Oozing self-indulgence. I'm deleting my review, 13 minutes in. You don't deserve it. Go away and write a song. Any slug can mope for 14 minutes with the record button on.
Me:
Hostess Mostess: MIDI drums, piano, and bass (GarageBand). Vocals and guitar mic'ed (Audition). Background vocals got mixed together and that submix had way too much high part: no time to rerecord it so I pushed it way back. Sad thing, there was a pretty lush vocal harmony sound for the end. Electric sound is still thin---I'm working on that. Song itself is somewhat meaningless and empty. Could have used a more anthemic climax. It kind of deflates and dies by the end.
Winners:
Spinlock:
A deep bow to you, sir! Elegant and passionate at the same time. A singable melody built for the drunk and sober alike. A modernized version of the 80s-ish antiwar anthem. The lyrics are a bit stark for me ("like an abscess", "tools were stored(?)"), but I know I run a little on the abstruse side. I will listen to this many times, and likely play it on my guitar to check my tuning. I'd lose the reliance on double-tracked vocals, I think, but I'm a sucker for those, too. The ending could be tighter, but since it's nice and short (2:32!) as is, it's fine. A winner.
HipWreckd:
I love this! It keeps falling apart and putting itself back together. The ABA form is awesome. A tasty treat. Many thanks.
Billy's Little Trip:
I used to do a songwriting exercise with my friend: he'd write a plausible but awkward chord progression, and I'd write a melody that made it sound like it made sense. This sounds like the best kind of result from that. That B-section "could you still hear it call/did it pull you back in again" is awesome. That it's followed by that C-section Bowie rock-out thing is even better. Really nice.
Favorites:
c Hack:
A really good song. Nothing fancy. I like the soft/loud contrasts: it's very expressive. I like the guitar sound and your voice is unapologetic. Solid.
Carpetburn:
Clear crisp mix. Open and interesting sound. Head bobbing groove. Lyrical imagery is effective. Things happen, things change, instruments have well-defined roles. The soft, despiration echo vocal is really good. A nice device and not overused. Guitar parts are really clever, especially around 3:40. Guitar arrangement reminds me of the Sundays "Blind" album somehow: perfect for a rainy day. Which is excellent. Long for me, but I'm tired.
Thanks Glenny for the Frisbee:
Lush and pretty, mesmerizing. This breathes really well. Phrasing is beautiful. The (backward? magnetically driven? feedbacked?) guitar is lovely.
Cynthia Size and the @electric spOOns:
Chromatic progression is effective and spooky, matches the odd synth (I just got the joke name!) vocals really well. Moody and interesting at the same time---no small feat. I need a little more melody, but that's just me: there's plenty going on and cool interplays everywhere. Why not take the synth vocal for a spin, though: really high, really loud, oddly and impossibly rhythmic, etc. Good job overall.
Steakhaus:
Sounds like Octothorpe under all that static! I love the energy of this and the stops and restarts. The crescendo scream is really cool. Drums sound really clear. The ending is creepy.
Syd and Me:
I have a soft spot in my heart for the kids. And the Keep it Simple philosophy is always a winner. Very nice.
No Ghost:
Creepy cool. I like the old tape stuff in the back. I've used that effect myself, albeit accidentally. Very Syd Barret of you, and sweet. I could use a little more oomph here or there, but it's a goodie overall.
Klownhole:
Cute. I'm keeping tabs: is this Klownhole more drunk or less drunk? I think I prefer more drunk than this. But I don't want you to hurt yourselves. And what does this have to do with the title? Just kidding. Ha ha. I'm funny, too. I'm going to go out on a limb that if I stop this at 2:30, I will have saved myself some time. But I like it.
Okay:
Mico Saudad:
Spend more time, please. A nice start with some interesting sounds and building to something. But it's entirely unfinished: it needs another section at least. You could have spent 15 more minutes mixing and made it sound much better (background vox are way too loud, hard panning is disconcerting, compression on bass/drum is too heavy...) Something good waiting to happen.
Lyricburgler:
Drums are nice, until the congas come in too loud. Melisma chorus is awkward. Chorus-y bridge doesn't fit well. Spoken asides are silly. Doo doo doo's are cute. Remember Grovy Coleslaw's "Shaving in the Dark"? It's like that---harsh, half-hearted and empty.
Signboy:
Sloppy and floppy, and noisy. I like the Rush feel of the verses, and the vocal arrangement on the chorus (good choice to isolate it at the end), but even that's too sloppy. It sounds like you've got two decent hooks (the verse and chorus) taped together instead of a song. They just alternate and repeat. I need some more structure.
Merkaba:
Cliched and dull. I like the verses, but the chorus falters---vocal sounds awkward (too loud, overcompressed), the rhythm is too downbeat-heavy. Needs something to build to: it starts loud and monotonous, and then has nowhere to go. The vocal mix towards the end is nice.
Queen Anthony's Lace:
I don't know where to put this. I like the meta-production---the obvious tape-sped castration, the constant rubbing of hand-held condensor mic sound, the tinniness of the instruments. I really like the Prince-ish chorus. But the narration is clumsy, the premise is tacky (just a list of red things, orange things, yellow...yawn). If anyone learns about Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper" from this, it will have done some good. Otherwise, it's a cute failure.
MC Eric B.:
Break up your couplets: this is very boxy. Write a couple lines that are shorter or longer than others. Get off at least one chord sooner than you want to. Repeat a word occasionally---revel in the sound of the words. This is right down the middle of the road and ends up boring and trite. Emulating Cash's drawl (I'm assuming) won't save you.
Double Helix:
Find the groove, man! You're rocking out on nothing. There might be something here, but I can't quite find it. And I'm listening hard. Guitar doesn't follow the click track very well, and is way too soft. Bass noodles too much: doesn't track the progression, such as it is. Keyboard noodling and random and pointless. Vocals have moments of inspiration, but mostly it sounds improvised and rushed. Write. Then record.
Jolly Roger:
You lost me entirely at the instrumental. It was only by a thread. The energy is dulled by the compression and loud loud guitar. The drum solo killed it even further. Again, the songwriting takes a back seat to the relentlessness of noise. I don't hear a hook, or even much of a melody. Just kind of mushy.
Pipefist:
This rubs me wrong. I like the vocal stuff at the 2-minute mark. But the toe-tapping strum doesn't gel well with the clunky keyboard. It goes on too long with too many odd things changing for no real reason. The upbeat sad song is hard for me to like (a la Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn") even when it's tight. The end is lame, especially for a song with a beat: a fade out would have been fine.
Inexcusable:
Eddie Lance:
You've got to be kidding me. Hang your head in shame as you listen to yourself play nearly three minutes of semi-pensive finger exercises straight out of the Windham Hill For Beginners (Large Print Edition), hoping that someone will be sad enough about 9th chords that they'll think "yeah mean, gray rainbow, man..." At least try. Or you're 12 years old, in which case: pretty good, kid, but come back after you've skinned your knees a few more times.
Cranial Biffida:
This is plodding and weak. Oozing self-indulgence. I'm deleting my review, 13 minutes in. You don't deserve it. Go away and write a song. Any slug can mope for 14 minutes with the record button on.
Me:
Hostess Mostess: MIDI drums, piano, and bass (GarageBand). Vocals and guitar mic'ed (Audition). Background vocals got mixed together and that submix had way too much high part: no time to rerecord it so I pushed it way back. Sad thing, there was a pretty lush vocal harmony sound for the end. Electric sound is still thin---I'm working on that. Song itself is somewhat meaningless and empty. Could have used a more anthemic climax. It kind of deflates and dies by the end.
"We don’t write songs about our own largely dull lives. We mostly rely on the time-tested gimmick of making shit up."
-John Linnell
-John Linnell
-
glennny
- Churchill
- Posts: 2262
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:39 am
- Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Mandolin, Dobro, Banjo, E-Bow, Glock
- Recording Method: Garageband
- Submitting as: Berkeley Social Scene
- Location: Castro Valley, California
Mostess wrote:
BTW Billy that's a Mandolin not a Uke.
I can't wait to hear this fight, if I can get my damn internet to work at home. (here at work I can look at Songfight.net but not Songfight.org)
Thanks for the compliments! That's an E-Bow on a steel string acoustic (any metal string will work, I've even been known to do E-bow mandolin, but not on this track).The (backward? magnetically driven? feedbacked?) guitar is lovely.
BTW Billy that's a Mandolin not a Uke.
I can't wait to hear this fight, if I can get my damn internet to work at home. (here at work I can look at Songfight.net but not Songfight.org)
Phillipso, Older Brothers, Semolina Pilchards, Zipline , Thank Glennny for the Frisbee, The Odoriferous Valley, The Worldly Self Assurance, Berkeley Social Scene, Very Gentle Knives, Daddy Bop Swing Set, GUNS, The Kraken Lives, Cavedwellers
-
nyjm
- Niemöller
- Posts: 1066
- Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 6:14 am
- Instruments: acoustic guitar, electric guitar, synth, various MIDI instruments
- Recording Method: Reaper, Line 6 POD, GLS Audio 57 and 58
- Submitting as: noah mclaughlin, Ford's Theater Disaster, Juliet's Happy Dagger
- Location: atlanta, ga
- Contact:
artist names are from my MP3 player; if you'd like to be identified correctly, label your tags properly.
billy's little trip
fill under: pink floyd
good: awesome vox treatment, dynamism, guitar tonality, great overall recording
bad: chorus screaming (though it's grown on me)
ugly: nothing - this is a top contender
conclusion: download
carpetburn
fill under: early R.E.M.
good: dynamism, slide guit (dobro?), crisp recording, great chorus melody
bad: the far-away voice just sounds poorly recorded instead of a far-off - too much tinny echo
random: reminds me of a quote from the film little jerusalem: "reason is incapable of proving the existence of god. but it is incapable of disproving it as well. therefore, god escapes the realm of the philosopher"
conclusion: download
c-hack
fill under: GnG minimalism
good: melody, guitar riff, "do-do-doos"
bad: minimalism does disservice to the richness of the song; some bass and nice rolling drum part and this would be much improved
award: most memorable melody; i keep humming this to myself!
cranial biffida
file under: rob zombie/evanescence
good: movie quote, female vox
bad: guitar is uninteresting, the whole song is monotonous
ugly: dual vox is more than distracting, it's grating
conclusion: meh
cynthia size and eclectic sp00n
file under: coil
good: awesome tones, great meld of female vox and more electronic sounds
bad: ... as a consequence it's really hard to understand the lyrics
random: much improved since my long-ago last visit to songfight; this has form and dynamism
double helix
file under: primitive radio gods
good: great guitar tone
bad: various parts often sound out of time
ugly: the vox are just out of tune; they lack punch and firmness; i can hear a really great song in there, but it gets mangled in the delivery
conclusion: needs improvement
eddie lance
file under: robin spielberg
good: great tone, nice piano chops, pretty
bad: not a song
conclusion: come again next time with some vox
hipwreckd
file under: wtf?
good: awesome concept; wonderfully illustrated dichotomy of the same event; reminds me, somewhat peripherally of the NIN Year Zero ARG, specifically The Presence
bad: vox are little hot
ugly: the happy, middle section is just too cheesy (i'm not too sure what to do about that though, doing this section completely straight would probably encounter it's own problems)
conclusion: great experiment
hostess mostess
file under: best of elton john
good: melody, arrangement, crisp beauty of the whole production, awesome, catchy chorus; i even like the falsetto
bad: ... i can't think of anything
conclusion: vote!
jh
file under: dead milkmen
good: energy and enthusiasm
bad: thin guitar sound, centered panning, no bass
ugly: weak drum part, solo that is just a pointless noodle
conclusion: bring out the bottom end and tighten things up, especially with the vox
klownhole
file under: meta songfight
good: guitar sound
bad: meta-songfight references are rarely funny; they take unusual wit that this song lacks
ugly: polemics are boring
conclusion: work out your insecurities without wasting my time
lyricburglar
file under: awesome
good: vox arrangement, drum and bass thrum, the bongo/floor tom towards the end
bad: ... i got nothing
conclusion: download!
mc eric b
file under: johnny cash sings... casiocore
good: great metaphors and visuals in the lyrics
bad: your western vocal stylings and the dark lyric content don't gain anything from their clash with the light, pre-programmed bits of keyboard
ugly: take the mic out of your mouth, give it a little comprehension, a touch of reverb and sing in key
conclusion: i'll probably cover this (read: steal the lyrics and rework everything)
mico saudad
file under: unique
good: driving beat, backing vox, dynamics
bad: split vox are just distracting, short
conclusion: a little stop and start, but some great stuff in there
no ghost
file under: sonic youth
good: neat guitar treatment
bad: stop and start but otherwise not much swell that drives the entire arrangement
ugly: white noise in the right ear
conclusion: some cool stuff
wes davis
file under: lounge music
good: bass, the piano bit is a nice touch
bad: vox are way to hot and high in the mix, too isolated from the instrumentation
ugly: lyrics are pat and boring; show, don't tell
conclusion: i want to dance to it instead of listening to it
queen's anthony lace
file under: novelty music
good: cute idea
bad: cute = trite
ugly: falsetto
conclusion: good for a smirk
signboy
file under: second-tier alternative
good: good production values; well recorded and arranged
bad: professional production value doesn't save you from a boring song, especially the guitar riff
ugly: refrain vox are swallowed, chorus vox are out of tune
conclusion: meh
spinlock
file under: they might be giants
good: GREAT lyric concept, beautiful vox harmonies
bad: kind of monotonously low-key
conclusion: download!
unknown
file under: RAWK!
good: great chorus, i like the various tones and panning
bad: chorus vox are split and slightly off time one from the other, which is distracting when you want the song to be really unifying; the verse guitar riff seems REALLY familiar - INXS? i can't place it.
ugly: spoken word "silence of sound" cliches
conclusion: download
steakhaus
file under: speed metal
good: you stay in time at that manic tempo
bad: incomprehensible vox
ugly: cliched, repetitive - and not in the cool phillip glass way
conclusion: pure genre, for good and bad
syd and me
file under: PBS
good: the kid is really cute and used very well; the inevitable duet works great; nice touch with the trumpet
bad: the kid is cute, but a little flat
conclusion: download
thanks glenny for the frisbee
file under: simon and garfunkel
good: vox harmonies, guitar tones
bad: kind of monotonous
conclusion: very pretty, to the point of saccharine
billy's little trip
fill under: pink floyd
good: awesome vox treatment, dynamism, guitar tonality, great overall recording
bad: chorus screaming (though it's grown on me)
ugly: nothing - this is a top contender
conclusion: download
carpetburn
fill under: early R.E.M.
good: dynamism, slide guit (dobro?), crisp recording, great chorus melody
bad: the far-away voice just sounds poorly recorded instead of a far-off - too much tinny echo
random: reminds me of a quote from the film little jerusalem: "reason is incapable of proving the existence of god. but it is incapable of disproving it as well. therefore, god escapes the realm of the philosopher"
conclusion: download
c-hack
fill under: GnG minimalism
good: melody, guitar riff, "do-do-doos"
bad: minimalism does disservice to the richness of the song; some bass and nice rolling drum part and this would be much improved
award: most memorable melody; i keep humming this to myself!
cranial biffida
file under: rob zombie/evanescence
good: movie quote, female vox
bad: guitar is uninteresting, the whole song is monotonous
ugly: dual vox is more than distracting, it's grating
conclusion: meh
cynthia size and eclectic sp00n
file under: coil
good: awesome tones, great meld of female vox and more electronic sounds
bad: ... as a consequence it's really hard to understand the lyrics
random: much improved since my long-ago last visit to songfight; this has form and dynamism
double helix
file under: primitive radio gods
good: great guitar tone
bad: various parts often sound out of time
ugly: the vox are just out of tune; they lack punch and firmness; i can hear a really great song in there, but it gets mangled in the delivery
conclusion: needs improvement
eddie lance
file under: robin spielberg
good: great tone, nice piano chops, pretty
bad: not a song
conclusion: come again next time with some vox
hipwreckd
file under: wtf?
good: awesome concept; wonderfully illustrated dichotomy of the same event; reminds me, somewhat peripherally of the NIN Year Zero ARG, specifically The Presence
bad: vox are little hot
ugly: the happy, middle section is just too cheesy (i'm not too sure what to do about that though, doing this section completely straight would probably encounter it's own problems)
conclusion: great experiment
hostess mostess
file under: best of elton john
good: melody, arrangement, crisp beauty of the whole production, awesome, catchy chorus; i even like the falsetto
bad: ... i can't think of anything
conclusion: vote!
jh
file under: dead milkmen
good: energy and enthusiasm
bad: thin guitar sound, centered panning, no bass
ugly: weak drum part, solo that is just a pointless noodle
conclusion: bring out the bottom end and tighten things up, especially with the vox
klownhole
file under: meta songfight
good: guitar sound
bad: meta-songfight references are rarely funny; they take unusual wit that this song lacks
ugly: polemics are boring
conclusion: work out your insecurities without wasting my time
lyricburglar
file under: awesome
good: vox arrangement, drum and bass thrum, the bongo/floor tom towards the end
bad: ... i got nothing
conclusion: download!
mc eric b
file under: johnny cash sings... casiocore
good: great metaphors and visuals in the lyrics
bad: your western vocal stylings and the dark lyric content don't gain anything from their clash with the light, pre-programmed bits of keyboard
ugly: take the mic out of your mouth, give it a little comprehension, a touch of reverb and sing in key
conclusion: i'll probably cover this (read: steal the lyrics and rework everything)
mico saudad
file under: unique
good: driving beat, backing vox, dynamics
bad: split vox are just distracting, short
conclusion: a little stop and start, but some great stuff in there
no ghost
file under: sonic youth
good: neat guitar treatment
bad: stop and start but otherwise not much swell that drives the entire arrangement
ugly: white noise in the right ear
conclusion: some cool stuff
wes davis
file under: lounge music
good: bass, the piano bit is a nice touch
bad: vox are way to hot and high in the mix, too isolated from the instrumentation
ugly: lyrics are pat and boring; show, don't tell
conclusion: i want to dance to it instead of listening to it
queen's anthony lace
file under: novelty music
good: cute idea
bad: cute = trite
ugly: falsetto
conclusion: good for a smirk
signboy
file under: second-tier alternative
good: good production values; well recorded and arranged
bad: professional production value doesn't save you from a boring song, especially the guitar riff
ugly: refrain vox are swallowed, chorus vox are out of tune
conclusion: meh
spinlock
file under: they might be giants
good: GREAT lyric concept, beautiful vox harmonies
bad: kind of monotonously low-key
conclusion: download!
unknown
file under: RAWK!
good: great chorus, i like the various tones and panning
bad: chorus vox are split and slightly off time one from the other, which is distracting when you want the song to be really unifying; the verse guitar riff seems REALLY familiar - INXS? i can't place it.
ugly: spoken word "silence of sound" cliches
conclusion: download
steakhaus
file under: speed metal
good: you stay in time at that manic tempo
bad: incomprehensible vox
ugly: cliched, repetitive - and not in the cool phillip glass way
conclusion: pure genre, for good and bad
syd and me
file under: PBS
good: the kid is really cute and used very well; the inevitable duet works great; nice touch with the trumpet
bad: the kid is cute, but a little flat
conclusion: download
thanks glenny for the frisbee
file under: simon and garfunkel
good: vox harmonies, guitar tones
bad: kind of monotonous
conclusion: very pretty, to the point of saccharine
"You sound like the ghost of David Bowie." - SchlimminyCricket | it was a pleasure to burn | my website | Juliet's Happy Dagger
Gray Rainbow cover
nyjm - If you do a cover version, let me know the url. I would love to hear it. I agree, I think somebody else could do it much better version of the song than I did. My talent is in writing songs, not performing them.
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nyjm wrote: conclusion: i'll probably cover this (read: steal the lyrics and rework everything)
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nyjm wrote: conclusion: i'll probably cover this (read: steal the lyrics and rework everything)
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Lyricburglar
- de Gaulle
- Posts: 172
- Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2005 1:59 am
Re: Gray Rainbow cover
Yeah - I'm tempted to have a crack at it too.MC Eric B wrote:nyjm - If you do a cover version, let me know the url. I would love to hear it. I agree, I think somebody else could do it much better version of the song than I did. My talent is in writing songs, not performing them.
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nyjm wrote: conclusion: i'll probably cover this (read: steal the lyrics and rework everything)
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cover version
Lyricburglar - That would be great.
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thehipcola
- Niemöller
- Posts: 1062
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:51 am
- Instruments: The things what make sounds.
- Recording Method: LA610mk2 into UAD Apollo 8p into Cubase/LUNA/Reaper/Ableton/Reason/Maschine
- Submitting as: thehipcolaredcargertFlamingTigershotpounderOGLawnDartsFussyBritchesGapingMaw
- Location: Ottawa, Canada
- Contact:
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Ross
- Churchill
- Posts: 2745
- Joined: Sun Feb 27, 2005 3:27 pm
- Instruments: Guitar, Vox, Bass, Tuned glasses, etc...
- Recording Method: Logic on a Macbook.
- Submitting as: Ross Durand
- Location: Orange CA
- Contact:
Hey, Noah. Nice to see you back again. Thanks for posting reviews.nyjm wrote:reviews
"I don't like this song, but at least it's good." - veGetar Ianra Ge
http://www.rossdurandmusic.com
http://www.rossdurandmusic.com
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Billy's Little Trip
- Odie
- Posts: 12090
- Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:56 pm
- Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Vocals, Drums, Skin Flute
- Recording Method: analog to digital via Presonus FireBox, Cubase and a porn machine
- Submitting as: Billy's Little Trip, Billy and the Psychotics
- Location: Cali fucking ornia
I promise that my future MP3s will be tagged, now that I know about it.nyjm wrote:artist names are from my MP3 player; if you'd like to be identified correctly, label your tags properly.
billy's little trip
fill under: pink floyd
good: awesome vox treatment, dynamism, guitar tonality, great overall recording
bad: chorus screaming (though it's grown on me)
ugly: nothing - this is a top contender
conclusion: download
bad: chorus screaming (though it's grown on me) - Yeah, I'm an acquired taste, lol.
Thanks nyjm.
Your "melody to fit chords" is a good exercise. I can never remember in what order I write a song, because I just do what ever flows and it's always different. But I quite often find myself looking for chords to fit a melody in my head. Generally it's a matter of seconds between melody and chords in most cases. Thanks Mostess.Mostess wrote: Billy's Little Trip:
I used to do a songwriting exercise with my friend: he'd write a plausible but awkward chord progression, and I'd write a melody that made it sound like it made sense. This sounds like the best kind of result from that. That B-section "could you still hear it call/did it pull you back in again" is awesome. That it's followed by that C-section Bowie rock-out thing is even better. Really nice.
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lesChaps
- Karski
- Posts: 63
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 10:19 pm
- Instruments: Occasionally. But mosttimes I just holler.
- Recording Method: Jason's basement. SM7B.
- Submitting as: Klownhole
- Pronouns: Voi/Vod
- Location: Seattle
- Contact:
Re: From the "Where are they now?" files
While everyone was working out the parts, before the vocals, I was searching youtube for Klaatu but only found the Carpenters. So I would like to think that it was a double tribute. A two fisted tribute.rdurand wrote:Klownhole - Thanks for the Klaatu reference - made my day.
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Billy's Little Trip
- Odie
- Posts: 12090
- Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:56 pm
- Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Vocals, Drums, Skin Flute
- Recording Method: analog to digital via Presonus FireBox, Cubase and a porn machine
- Submitting as: Billy's Little Trip, Billy and the Psychotics
- Location: Cali fucking ornia
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EightLeggedOedipus
- Attlee
- Posts: 310
- Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2004 10:11 pm
- Location: Los Angeles, CA
- Contact:
rapid fire reviews... because
Billy's Trip: This is great
carpetburn: Singing too indie for me. AKA amateur, lacks melody, poor intonation. Skip
C hack: folky charming goodness
Cranial Biffida: perfect blend of male/female. Nice drudge (DOOM?) metal. Cool how the chorus rhythm works with the syllables. With a session drummer and a better mix you'd be a force to be reckoned with.
Cynthia size: kraftwerk much?
Double Helix: four people playing the same song independently? Even high this would still be unlistenable.
Eddie lance: Sounds like it could be on a hih-profile TV drama or indie film, good work, worht a repeat listen.
Hipwreckd: I love your rendition of comedy theater music... the music is usually top notch and you don't disappoint here.
Hostess: I come to expect a level of musicianship that I just don't hear on this one. I guess it's tough to deliver great pop songs week in/out.
Jolly Roger: I thought from your old songs you had a good sense of melody-vs-support but I guess I was wrong. This is awful, all the important drops are wrong.
klownhole: Are you the guys that do drunk karaoke and just shout classic rock? shouting the whole time? just a lot of shouting?
lyric burgler: you had me fooled for the first half of the song, but from the bridge on I am convinced you need your ears cleaned.
mc eric b: more off key whining. not funny. I didn't listen too deeply.
nico saudad: indie lo-fi bluesy alternative vibe rockin -- I think i am in love with this band. so short -- i want more!
noghost: maybe there is another part of the world where this would be cool. I am not in it.
wes davis: Just not into this. Not my style
Queen Anthony's lace: a poor man's carol cleveland sings, but still merit-worthy and absolutely enjoyable. Worth a delve through the archives, yeah?
Signboy: A little melodically impaired. Cool track, despite the weak sonics.
spinlock: with this kind of arrangement, you really need osmeone with excellent location to sing this... the double-track vocals can't hide the rough singing. Not really following the words, but otherwise sounds OK.
Spinning merkaba: nice stutter bass. I liek the center husky vox, good cadence. The chorus vox with the stereo pan is kind of "eh". talkover is such a cop out.
Steakhaus: Fuckin rock! Starts out liek Ministry, but the singing gets a little behind at the end. man, I want you to FEEL it like Gibby did on Jesus built my hotrod.
Syd and me: um. ok... hard to hate on a child but...
Glenny frisbee fiasco: Oh wow, from the ukelele i'm already thinking hell yes... oh but ouch on that second line "gray"... great song, just disappointing vox. intonation about like a bad strung out elliott smith. as Paula says "pitchy"
Billy's Trip: This is great
carpetburn: Singing too indie for me. AKA amateur, lacks melody, poor intonation. Skip
C hack: folky charming goodness
Cranial Biffida: perfect blend of male/female. Nice drudge (DOOM?) metal. Cool how the chorus rhythm works with the syllables. With a session drummer and a better mix you'd be a force to be reckoned with.
Cynthia size: kraftwerk much?
Double Helix: four people playing the same song independently? Even high this would still be unlistenable.
Eddie lance: Sounds like it could be on a hih-profile TV drama or indie film, good work, worht a repeat listen.
Hipwreckd: I love your rendition of comedy theater music... the music is usually top notch and you don't disappoint here.
Hostess: I come to expect a level of musicianship that I just don't hear on this one. I guess it's tough to deliver great pop songs week in/out.
Jolly Roger: I thought from your old songs you had a good sense of melody-vs-support but I guess I was wrong. This is awful, all the important drops are wrong.
klownhole: Are you the guys that do drunk karaoke and just shout classic rock? shouting the whole time? just a lot of shouting?
lyric burgler: you had me fooled for the first half of the song, but from the bridge on I am convinced you need your ears cleaned.
mc eric b: more off key whining. not funny. I didn't listen too deeply.
nico saudad: indie lo-fi bluesy alternative vibe rockin -- I think i am in love with this band. so short -- i want more!
noghost: maybe there is another part of the world where this would be cool. I am not in it.
wes davis: Just not into this. Not my style
Queen Anthony's lace: a poor man's carol cleveland sings, but still merit-worthy and absolutely enjoyable. Worth a delve through the archives, yeah?
Signboy: A little melodically impaired. Cool track, despite the weak sonics.
spinlock: with this kind of arrangement, you really need osmeone with excellent location to sing this... the double-track vocals can't hide the rough singing. Not really following the words, but otherwise sounds OK.
Spinning merkaba: nice stutter bass. I liek the center husky vox, good cadence. The chorus vox with the stereo pan is kind of "eh". talkover is such a cop out.
Steakhaus: Fuckin rock! Starts out liek Ministry, but the singing gets a little behind at the end. man, I want you to FEEL it like Gibby did on Jesus built my hotrod.
Syd and me: um. ok... hard to hate on a child but...
Glenny frisbee fiasco: Oh wow, from the ukelele i'm already thinking hell yes... oh but ouch on that second line "gray"... great song, just disappointing vox. intonation about like a bad strung out elliott smith. as Paula says "pitchy"
<a href="http://www.mbeanis.com/0.html">Understand</a> my reviews. Voted best auto-wrecking record of 2005! "<a href="http://www.thedrinks.net/"><b>The Drinks</a></b>' - Grr!" available now.
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Thanks For The Frisbee
- Attlee
- Posts: 266
- Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2006 6:22 pm
- Instruments: mine
- Recording Method: wishful thinking
- Submitting as: Thanks for the Frisbee
- Location: Washington
thanks for that bbbbbbbbroseph.EightLeggedOedipus wrote:a child but...
Glenny frisbee fiasco: Oh wow, from the ukelele i'm already thinking hell yes... oh but ouch on that second line "gray"... great song, just disappointing vox. intonation about like a bad strung out elliott smith. as Paula says "pitchy"
i know there are some imperfections in the vox, i think when i double the vocals it ends up throwing off the tone of the second vocal track.
do you have any suggestions that would help me nail it next time?
thanks
Thanks for the frisbee is on Spotify, iTunes, Apple Music ect.